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C'est emprisonner le temps,
C'est rendre immortel l'espace d'un instant,
C'est figer le présent dans sa course vers l'éternité,
Pour une étreinte dans le futur du passé,

C'est prendre une photo.
Whenever I am drunk
I'll think about you

Is it that my mind flips to darker sides
Is it that my soul is boiling for ****

But all I know is that you are my passion
My submission, my remedy to everything

You're the only one
i.

I intentionally failed to wish you
a happy birthday this year,
though I know significant dates,
hours, moments, people,
by heart.
I still search for you in boys
I mistake for bandages,
the ones with eyes almost
the same shade of your hazels,
lips resounding your laughter,
resembling a wisp of your smile,
But they aren't you.

ii.

Sometimes I pretend you're dead,
because it's less painful
to stop reaching out into voids.

iii.

My mom still blames you
for everything that preceded that year.
Though you probably had no idea what happened
when we stopped talking altogether.
Can you believe it's almost been three years?

iv.

My dad wonders who was my 'one that got away'
Though, I'm pretty sure he knows
it's you.

v.

Remember how I mentioned Sylvia Plath?
How most everything she wrote
brimmed with melancholy?
How I loved every single word?
Especially that piece
where she talked about expectations
and disappointments.
You'll never know that
up to this day I still think
people are selfish enough to
always, eventually turn into the latter.
Even you.

vi.

It's sad I never got the chance
to tell you about Ted.
How she loved him so much,
she just had to dive headfirst
into the flames-- burning herself,
what was left of her--
after she found out
he never really loved her
the same way
she loved him
in the first place.

vii.

truth is,
some of us
never learn to accept
the love we think we deserve.


viii.

I don't know if you still read my poems
or if you still think about me,
about us, sometimes.
Every time you fall asleep past eleven,
a part of me hopes you do.
because I always remember you--
in birthday candles, red ribbons,
off-tune voice records, golden arches,
concrete sidewalks, pedestrian lanes,
the last flickers of city lights
softly fading out of the blue.
I remember you
in everything, in everywhere,
in everyone.
It's useless, no matter how much I try to forget.
No matter how much I just want to forget.
I want to forget.

But, how could I?

When forgetting means forsaking
the very memory of you.
James Humigas Nov 2018
That breeze after a storm
That rainbow after the rain
That first snow before winter

Then there is you,
Isimbi, la perle rare
Quietly beautiful

Adding color to stressful days
Turning white noise into symphonies
Isimbi (Kinyarwanda) : something that shines like the snow on the top of mountains, or like a pearl.
  Sep 2018 James Humigas
S Smoothie
this is not your ******* wonderland
its my life.
my dimension
my frequency.
step the *******
and take your hatter with you
that Cheshire grin and all manner of sin
your schizoprenic dialogue
bores me to tears
you don’t have any relevance here
I’m off creating my world with my head
I don’t need your kind of body counts
I live in hope not fear
I said good bye Long ago  to your flouts
stop trying to hold on to me
let me go
your time was never
synched
I was never a part of you
and your lies though sweet
tasted untrue
now you wonder why you’re lynched?
false eyes and false hearts
I saw you had no soul
thtas why you wanted mine
so **** much
but I knew
and now it’s time
for you to ******* too
i have no time for your pills and ills
im off to make a garden
with Mary
shes quite contrary you know
she cuts off heads
and lays pretty maids in rows
about time she became compost
and you can rot with her
as you are transpfromed
by the light into a garden of free thought
creation and beauty
for the lack of a soul
i will keep mine
intact
and from it only truth
and love
will grow
Some things get clearer with rage
Silently watching the lives
through my phone
Seeing the smiles and connections.
Sad to see, all the things I’ll never have.

A connection that lasts longer
then a few years.
A bond stronger than the tides
and as bright as the stars.

Someone to honestly share the views of the world with
to show them myself and give them every
minor detail.
For them to love what they see.

I watch their lives through my phone.
I see that world through it.
I so badly want to live there
I so badly want to say

“Hello.”
Hello, this is my first poem on this website, and I'm super excited. I'm pretty new to writing poetry so any suggestions would be great! Have a magical day!
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