"sneakiness" poems
I don't know if I deserve to be sad that you died
It feels like I didn't earn it
Like if I'm sad I'm pretending for attention
I don't know if we were close enough
I don't think I texted you back enough
or respected you enough
After so many years of resentment I don't know if I get to love you
It doesn't feel like my loss.
It feels like my siblings lost their dad
And my mom lost her husband
And I'm so sad for my family
but it doesn't feel like my father died.
Everyone tells me that you were a good person
And I believe them
But I don't think I thought so when you were still here
And now we share the same sins
It's the first thing we've had in common
When I was writing your eulogy it felt like I was writing a paper
It was like I was writing it for someone else
Someone who knew their dad
Someone who liked their dad
Someone who was liked by their dad.
The only thing we understood about each other was the bad parts
Because we recognized them.
And neither of us liked either of us.
If you were such a bad person I think I am too
The passive aggressiveness
The drinking to be likeable
The sneakiness
The lust
The pride
My personality is like mom's but my vices are from you.
I don't think we were so distant because we didn't understand each other
I think we disliked each other because we understood each other perfectly.
Dec 13, 2022
Dec 13, 2022 at 4:14 PM UTC
Can you help some one who's ill
When you know it's not physical
It hides in his oblivious mind
Cleverness making it hard to find
I tried to confront it he won't admit
He knows how to hide behind all his wit
Family and friends don't know how to deal
As his frustrating anger is so hard to feel
Enabled because they cannot cope
He intimidates their need for hope
He has no courage within his own heart
Denial keeps him from falling apart
Unable to admit a possible weakness
It's buried within his own sneakiness
When in reality if he could only see
The more courageous he would be
To face his fears and set himself free
Nov 21, 2013
Nov 21, 2013 at 12:49 AM UTC
Hello, despair, my very old friend;
From your sneakiness and unwelcome visits,
They never seem to end.
In all honesty, I never invited you to be in my life
So why do you even come around?
All you do is silently stab me in the heart with a knife.
My heart, my brain, and my body alike
Can not stand your presence any longer.
So why not just take a hike?
I’m sorry for sounding so harsh, and so mean
But you do the exact same to me everyday;
I will not admit defeat.
Like a fiery phoenix I will rise out of you
And you will see
Just what I can do.
You aren’t easy to defeat,
I will admit that
But I swear, I promise you I will not fleet.
I think you have to go
Even though we were “great friends,”
I opened my eyes and saw you only brought me sorrow.
So this is the final goodbye, indeed yes,
I will no longer suffer
From your unlawful distress.
No longer come after me, or even try,
Because I will fight you off again, with my head held high.
Nov 1, 2015
Nov 1, 2015 at 1:26 PM UTC