In every battle, it is impossible to never have a speech. I have noticed that in watching movies. Like in Independence day, the President delivered a speech to the U.S Fighter Pilots before the battle. “ Good morning. In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world.”, yeah that’s how it goes. Or like King Aragorn’s battle speech at the black gate in The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, “Hold your ground! Hold your ground! Sons of Gondor, of Rohan, my brothers”, he said. And it can even be a simple “May the force be with us” before battling with the galactic empire. And you cannot only see that in movies, there are speeches in real life which also inspired people to fight, like Patrick Henry’s Give me Liberty or Give me death, Winston Churchill’s We Shall Never Surrender, and our battles in our lives. Everyone will always encounter battles in their lives, and maybe we also had speeches for ourselves, created by us, for us, to continue fighting. And they say having a mental illness also means undergoing a battle. Many battles, and one of them, is a battle against the stigma. A battle to end the stigma of mental health. And now I will deliver my speech, to everyone of you, this is my battle speech, telling you to stop romanticizing them.


Poems **** once said that depression is a strange, yet comforting feeling. Comforting feeling, when you feel absolutely terrible, that even eating ice cream and watching your favourite movie can’t do anything to make you feel better. And when they ask you what’s wrong, the worse part is you don’t know. When you’re all alone, and no one is there for you, so you just feel like your inner demons are hugging you and telling you to just end everything. It’s when people tell you that happiness is a choice, it’s like a multiple choice exam, in which you just choose the best answer, but why does it seem to me that the choices I got were nothing compared to the best, and where is happiness? It’s none of the above. There is nothing comforting, nothing artistic, nothing beautiful about depression. It is not an artsy tumblr poem, it’s not an aesthetic, it’s not something you wish you could have,  depression is a total *******!


A twitter account said that anxiety is just another form of excitement. So does it mean that when I have panic attacks, I am just excited? When I avoid everyday situations, when I can’t get out of my house, when I can’t even get out of my bed, because all of those things cause me anxiety. When I expect the worst in everything that I do and it will ruin the hell out of me. When I’m in a job interview, and I suddenly have my panic attack. When I feel that in every place I will go to, I will experience danger and catastrophe. So you see, that anxiety is not another form of excitement, it is not a trend, it’s a difficult thing to have, it's experiencing chaos everyday in your life and who would want that?


Why do we think that having mental illnesses are wonderful? Why do we wish to have them when there are people suffering? Why are we belittling them, telling them they’re crazy, that it’s all in your mind, but can’t you see, that having chaos inside my mind is the most difficult thing you could ever have. Why do we think they’re weak, when they are fighting battles everyday and they never give up. Why do we think that people with mental illness are just asking for attention when they are asking for help because that’s the thing they need? Imagine that the demons inside of you gave you a gift that you didn’t want, and you can’t seem to destroy it, to leave it, because you think your demons have won. But they didn’t, and they will never. And we are fighting with you, we are with you.


In every battle, there will always be the ones who win. The ones who will achieve the greatest feat, happiness and contentment. But they say, that this battle against the stigma, is a never ending war. However, have you all forgotten who we are? If this is a never ending war, then we are the  fighters.  And we will never ever stop fighting.


*(k.b)

AOK: Mathematics
By Rohan Baishya

Now listen up y'all imma give y'all a lecture
About how my intuition led to some dope conjectures.
But to verify these knowledge claims I'll need a proof,
No need to worry though, my logic's up through the roof.
I'll steal yo girl with my geometric paradigms.
Not to mention my bank balance is on a sharp incline.
Imma use derivatives to find the ***** of that *****,
Euclid used geometry, what a big loony.
Now Pythagoras used deduction to find the sides of triangles,
Now I can use induction to find the curves of this fine-angle.
So listen up homie, you're a bore with your empiricism;
I can explain everything with this dank rationalism.
Now math ain't 'bout using memory to cram some equations,
It's all about getting that intense sensation
of using reason to season your supported argument
but sometimes to calculate my Lambo's rent.
But now imma be busy with my new calculator via Fed-ex
So listen up girls, no *** until I solve for x
In conclusion, math is the secret to success
If you believe in the numbers you'll be relieving your stress.
Word

******* a Boat

Not everyone’s idea of bliss
Emptying the toilet every week.
If you are the kind of person
Who likes creature comforts
It is definitely not for you . .

They say it’s where you go
When things go wrong,
The close friend dies,
The relationship comes apart
And living alone in a shoebox
in Hoxton at £800 a week
Just can’t be faced.

On your daily run beside the canal
You suddenly thought:
Why not? It’s peaceful here
By the water, away from the streets,
Cold in winter, damp in spring,
But summer and autumn will be a joy!

You have to downsize of course:
Most of those books will have to go,
Just one guitar and be sensible
About those shoes and clothes,
A good pair of boots and Rohan frock,
Lots of warm tights, a wok,
And you can leave the Internet at work,
Come home on your bicycle to a novel
and your cat, put the wok on the stove,
and hear the sound of your breath,
as the boat trembles under your feet.



Night Thoughts by Li Bo (16C)


So bright on our bed this moon,
just like frost its light is spread.
If I raise my head to see it shine,
when I turn away I'll think of home.


Reading Variously

How patterns and connections emerged during the progress a letter, a letter in this case begun with only the slightest plan, whose intention was partly to hold his daughter in his thoughts for an hour. It was a one-way conversation, and he would imagine her patiently listening to him. She was an attentive listener with a ferocious memory.

The book on his lap halted this reverie. It was a collection of essays by a woman writer known for a severe collection of novels, creative writing in which one realised how essential and rich the imagination can be in this form. In one essay she had been forthright in defence of the novel, that form that has to accept the ‘nuts and bolts of temporal reality’, that ‘from time to time a character has to walk through a door and close it behind him, the creatures of imagination have to eat and sleep, as all other creatures do.’  He had been whelmed over with such writing, and this book had travelled with him during the week so he could read and reread, opening on train journeys, in the minutes before a meal. It had been a gift he had so nearly lost. He remembered first opening the book and thinking this is all too difficult and intense just now, and then realising it was, in fact, just what was required by the ebb and flow of circumstance. He was troubled in so many things, but he knew he needed to remain hopeful. He had completed a composition during the week, the result of a fortnight’s intense thought, preparation and the teasing out of note to note, which is the stuff of writing for voices. He had been stretched by his own creativity, and now was being stretched by someone else’s, a woman of deep faith (in hope) and understanding of that small world so many of us live in, but perhaps so seldom are able to acknowledge its various riches.

This writer had also charmed him with words about music. ‘I tell my students,’ she had written, ‘language is music. Written words are musical notation. The music of a piece of fiction establishes the way in which it is to be read, and in the largest sense, what it means. It is essential to remember that characters have a music as well, a pitch and tempo, just as real people do. To make them believable, you must always be aware of what they would or would not say, where stresses would or would not fall.’ And he thought about his summer school students to whom he had said ‘music is language, the saying and meaning of words, the lift and fall of their inflection, the flow and rhythm of phrase and sentence. You have to read books and to listen to books being read, and poetry of course, the dear sister of music’.

There was more of course. Much history and philosophy sitting alongside spiritual meditation and the homespun observation of an academic, who wrote novels and taught ‘writing novels’, of a mother of four sons, of someone in love with small town life in Iowa and the possibilities of living a good and true life.

And so, the sun rose and lit up the barks of the chestnut trees across the road, in the park beyond. And as the camellia in the garden continued to explode with pink flowers, and the daffodils swayed and nodded, he picked up this vital book and opened its pages to the chapter titled Wondrous Love. Here the author writes about the importance of ‘elderly and old American hymns’. ‘They can move me so deeply’, she writes, ‘that I have difficulty even speaking about them.’ Yes, he knew the way such things moved him. Just the night previously he’d listened to a piano piece by Charles Ives, The Alcotts, with its haunting hymn-like melody and distant echoes of Beethoven’s Fifth, and thought of holding her hand in that university concert hall where he had shared with her this extraordinary work, music that had taken him him to America as a teenager, even to Concord Massachusetts where it had been composed, that he would listen to over and over and wonder at, a music so distant from his roots in the English Choral tradition, but so close to the heart, a music bound to a simplicity of culture that existed once on a different shore, and to which he continued to feel a deep association and love.


Lochan

a poem after  Bai Juyi  (772 -846)



There should be a temple here,

a pavilion on the eastern shore.

Easy to imagine oneself in Jiating, 

but this is Wester Ross.

Instead of orioles fighting in the warm trees, 

crows pick over the summer mud.

Disordered flowers confuse the eye,

bright grass hides the fisherman’s footprints.

I love this lochan,

but cannot stay for long by its bank.

One tree grows out of a reflection, 

on its island home.


Portrait**

You sat for my camera
just the once
in a Mediterranean garden.
It was a haven of green
above a sunned-blue bay.

Unplanned it was.
We’d eaten lunch
watching butterflies
flicker-perch and hover.

You’d tied your hair with a scarf
to keep the midday heat from your head,
a sun that brought your freckles to the fore
on bare arms, on your golden cheek.

Then, for a little while
you left your public self elsewhere,
and my zoomed lens travelled close
as a lover’s kiss when waking.

And as you gazed at the daisied grass
a gentleness and grace descended
on your sun-shadowed face.
I took two pictures, only two.

These portraits I’ve kept
far apart  from other ‘snaps’,
as they seem close
to a painter’s art
as I will ever get.

The portrait-call goes out
and I hesitate, I’m reticent, afraid
to share them with the public gaze.
They say so much, you see,  

of what I know you now to be:
the woman I’m privileged
to touch, to hold dear and close
to this unmanageable heart.

When all the world is a giant burden,

Banerji sir, my colleague, a true SST Allen.

“Maan ki bat Modi ke Sath; rest other shun,”,

Says always my friend Banarji, never stun

Or stagger or startle, never remains barren.

Best friend who teaches Dhruvi and others Balkan,

Or India with psychology, without an apron.

Kenil, Hari, Bhavin, Shivani had some unban;

With Favourite dish of Dada, a fish; talks on Patan,

Sings hymns, buzzes about Mahakali one.

Says, “Your age is less than my profession.”

Scolds us, “Worst batch of year” – a Pun?

He is Bangali babu, wears dhoti, kurta even,

Talks about SST, and about doors wide open.

He is a Brahman, takes plausible action,

Wearing a chevron, is our Divine’s lion.

Meshwa, Diya, and Pitambar are clearly won,

With Aryan, Harsh, Nupur, Dishal and billion.

Let it be Shakespeare or Keats or Byron

He is through with all, has a great fortune.

Appreciates my Monorhyme and region

Never keeps quiet, but is pure bullion.

Dear to my students, Esha, Jeet or Rohan.

Prosper a lot is my wish, Oh! Aaron!

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Donc, vieux passé plaintif, toujours tu reviendras
Nous criant : - Pourquoi donc est-on si **** ? Ingrats !
Qu'êtes-vous devenus ? Dites, avec l'abîme
Quel pacte avez-vous fait ? Quel attentat ? Quel crime ? -
Nous questionnant, sombre et de rage écumant,
Furieux.
Nous avons marché, tout bonnement.
Qui marche t'assassine, ô bon vieux passé blême.
Mais que veux-tu ? Je suis de mon siècle, et je l'aime !
Je te l'ai déjà dit. Non, ce n'est plus du tout
L'époque où la nature était de mauvais goût,
Où Bouhours, vieux jésuite, et le Batteux, vieux cancre,
Lunette au nez et plume au poing, barbouillaient d'encre
Le cygne au bec doré, le bois vert, le ciel bleu ;
Où l'homme corrigeait le manuscrit de Dieu.
Non, ce n'est plus le temps où Lenôtre à Versailles
Raturait le buisson, la ronce, la broussaille ;
Siècle où l'on ne voyait dans les champs éperdus
Que des hommes poudrés sous des arbres tondus.
Tout est en liberté maintenant. Sur sa nuque
L'arbre a plus de cheveux, l'homme a moins de perruque.
La vieille idée est morte avec le vieux cerveau.
La révolution est un monde nouveau.
Notre oreille en changeant a changé la musique.
Lorsque Fernand Cortez arriva du Mexique,
Il revint la main pleine, et, du jeune univers,
Il rapporta de l'or ; nous rapportons des vers.
Nous rapportons des chants mystérieux. Nous sommes
D'autres yeux, d'autres fronts, d'autres cœurs, d'autres hommes.

Braves pédants, calmez votre bon vieux courroux.
Nous arrachons de l'âme humaine les verrous.
Tous frères, et mêlés dans les monts, dans les plaines,
Nous laissons librement s'en aller nos haleines
À travers les grands bois et les bleus firmaments.
Nous avons démoli les vieux compartiments.

Non, nous ne sommes plus ni paysan, ni noble,
Ni lourdaud dans son pré, ni rustre en son vignoble,
Ni baron dans sa tour, ni reître à ses canons ;
Nous brisons cette écorce, et nous redevenons
L'homme ; l'homme enfin hors des temps crépusculaires ;
L'homme égal à lui-même en tous ses exemplaires ;
Ni tyran, ni forçat, ni maître, ni valet ;
L'humanité se montre enfin telle qu'elle est,
Chaque matin plus libre et chaque soir plus sage ;
Et le vieux masque usé laisse voir le visage.

Avec Ézéchiel nous mêlons Spinosa.
La nature nous prend, la nature nous a ;
Dans son antre profond, douce, elle nous attire ;
Elle en chasse pour nous son antique satyre,
Et nous y montre un sphinx nouveau qui dit : pensez.
Pour nous les petits cris au fond des nids poussés,
Sont augustes ; pour nous toutes les monarchies
Que vous saluez, vous, de vos têtes blanchies,
Tous les fauteuils royaux aux dossiers empourprés,
Sont peu de chose auprès d'un liseron des prés.
Régner ! Cela vaut-il rêver sous un vieux aulne ?
Nous regardons passer Charles-Quint sur son trône,
Jules deux sous son dais, César dans les clairons,
Et nous avons pitié lorsque nous comparons
À l'aurore des cieux cette fausse dorure.
Lorsque nous contemplons, par une déchirure
Des nuages, l'oiseau volant dans sa fierté,
Nous sentons frissonner notre aile, ô liberté !
En fait d'or, à la cour nous préférons la gerbe.
La nature est pour nous l'unique et sacré verbe,
Et notre art poétique ignore Despréaux.
Nos rois très excellents, très puissants et très hauts,
C'est le roc dans les flots, c'est dans les bois le chêne.
Mai, qui brise l'hiver, c'est-à-dire la chaîne,
Nous plaît. Le vrai nous tient. Je suis parfois tenté
De dire au mont Blanc : - Sire ! Et : - Votre majesté
À la vierge qui passe et porte, agreste et belle,
Sa cruche sur son front et Dieu dans sa prunelle.
Pour nous, songeurs, bandits, romantiques, démons,
Bonnets rouges, les flots grondants, l'aigle, les monts,
La bise, quand le soir ouvre son noir portique,
La tempête effarant l'onde apocalyptique,
Dépassent en musique, en mystère, en effroi,
Les quatre violons de la chambre du roi.
Chaque siècle, il s'y faut résigner, suit sa route.
Les hommes d'autrefois ont été grands sans doute ;
Nous ne nous tournons plus vers les mêmes clartés.
Jadis, frisure au front, ayant à ses côtés
Un tas d'abbés sans bure et de femmes sans guimpes,
Parmi des princes dieux, sous des plafonds olympes,
Prêt dans son justaucorps à poser pour Audran,
La dentelle au cou, grave, et l'œil sur un cadran,
Dans le salon de Mars ou dans la galerie
D'apollon, submergé dans la grand'seigneurie,
Dans le flot des Rohan, des Sourdis, des Elbeuf,
Et des fiers habits d'or roulant vers l'Œil-de-Boeuf,
Le poète, fût-il Corneille, ou toi, Molière,
- Tandis qu'en la chapelle ou bien dans la volière,
Les chanteurs accordaient le théorbe et le luth,
Et que Lulli tremblant s'écriait : gare à l'ut ! -
Attendait qu'au milieu de la claire fanfare
Et des fronts inclinés apparût, comme un phare,
Le page, aux tonnelets de brocart d'argent fin,
Qui portait le bougeoir de monsieur le dauphin.
Aujourd'hui, pour Versaille et pour salon d'Hercule,
Ayant l'ombre et l'airain du rouge crépuscule,
Fauve, et peu coudoyé de Guiche ou de Brissac,
La face au vent, les poings dans un paletot sac,
Seul, dans l'immensité que l'ouragan secoue,
Il écoute le bruit que fait la sombre proue
De la terre, et pensif, sur le blême horizon,
À l'heure où, dans l'orchestre inquiet du buisson,
De l'arbre et de la source, un frémissement passe,
Où le chêne chuchote et prend sa contrebasse,
L'eau sa flûte et le vent son stradivarius,
Il regarde monter l'effrayant Sirius.

Pour la muse en paniers, par Dorat réchauffée,
C'est un orang-outang ; pour les bois, c'est Orphée.
La nature lui dit : mon fils. Ce malotru,
Ô grand siècle ! Écrit mieux qu'Ablancourt et Patru.
Est-il féroce ? Non. Ce troglodyte affable
À l'ormeau du chemin fait réciter sa fable ;
Il dit au doux chevreau : bien bêlé, mon enfant !
Quand la fleur, le matin, de perles se coiffant,
Se mire aux flots, coquette et mijaurée exquise,
Il passe et dit : Bonjour, madame la marquise.
Et puis il souffre, il pleure, il est homme ; le sort
En rayons douloureux de son front triste sort.
Car, ici-bas, si fort qu'on soit, si peu qu'on vaille,
Tous, qui que nous soyons, le destin nous travaille
Pour orner dans l'azur la tiare de Dieu.
Le même bras nous fait passer au même feu ;
Et, sur l'humanité, qu'il use de sa lime,
Essayant tous les cœurs à sa meule sublime,
Scrutant tous les défauts de l'homme transparent,
Sombre ouvrier du ciel, noir orfèvre, tirant
Du sage une étincelle et du juste une flamme,
Se penche le malheur, lapidaire de l'âme.

Oui, tel est le poète aujourd'hui. Grands, petits,
Tous dans Pan effaré nous sommes engloutis.
Et ces secrets surpris, ces splendeurs contemplées,
Ces pages de la nuit et du jour épelées,
Ce qu'affirme Newton, ce qu'aperçoit Mesmer,
La grande liberté des souffles sur la mer,
La forêt qui craint Dieu dans l'ombre et qui le nomme,
Les eaux, les fleurs, les champs, font naître en nous un homme
Mystérieux, semblable aux profondeurs qu'il voit.
La nature aux songeurs montre les cieux du doigt.
Le cèdre au torse énorme, athlète des tempêtes,
Sur le fauve Liban conseillait les prophètes,
Et ce fut son exemple austère qui poussa
Nahum contre Ninive, Amos contre Gaza.
Les sphères en roulant nous jettent la justice.
Oui, l'âme monte au bien comme l'astre au solstice ;
Et le monde équilibre a fait l'homme devoir.
Quand l'âme voit mal Dieu, l'aube le fait mieux voir.
La nuit, quand Aquilon sonne de la trompette,
Ce qu'il dit, notre cœur frémissant le répète.
Nous vivons libres, fiers, tressaillants, prosternés,
Éblouis du grand Dieu formidable ; et, tournés
Vers tous les idéals et vers tous les possibles,
Nous cueillons dans l'azur les roses invisibles.
L'ombre est notre palais. Nous sommes commensaux
De l'abeille, du jonc nourri par les ruisseaux,
Du papillon qui boit dans la fleur arrosée.
Nos âmes aux oiseaux disputent la rosée.
Laissant le passé mort dans les siècles défunts,
Nous vivons de rayons, de soupirs, de parfums,
Et nous nous abreuvons de l'immense ambroisie
Qu'Homère appelle amour et Platon poésie.
Sous les branchages noirs du destin, nous errons,
Purs et graves, avec les souffles sur nos fronts.

Notre adoration, notre autel, notre Louvre,
C'est la vertu qui saigne ou le matin qui s'ouvre ;
Les grands levers auxquels nous ne manquons jamais,
C'est Vénus des monts noirs blanchissant les sommets ;
C'est le lys fleurissant, chaste, charmant, sévère ;
C'est Jésus se dressant, pâle, sur le calvaire.

Le 22 novembre 1854.

As I sit here thinking about how time has passed
Wondering how it all happened so fast
We were both NRI's who shared the same last name
Bonded over various silly little games
Never really thought anything much of it
And from there we became closely knit

Wherever you would go, you would see the Sharma bros
We shared our excitement and our woes
Complained about school, talked about Minecraft ideas
We reminisced over the US, and now it's time to see ya
I'm not really sure how I'll say goodbye
I'm not sure how our friendship happened or why
But I know I'll really miss you when you leave
Your absence was a thought I never concieved

Minecraft, Angry Birds Go, Bad Piggies, oh them all
They just won't feel the same when you're gone
I still remember our hopes of becoming internet sensations
Our endless talks on how to achieve our aspirations
Moving to India was hard, but we shared this difficulty together
Like two brave Steves fighting off the wither

I remember our first sleepover; it was a new experience for you and me
Getting to know you better and cutting down oak trees
We talked through the night about anything and everything
Addictively competing to see who was recieving the lowest ping
I had been alone in the US, never really found someone quite like me
You turned out to be so similar, sometimes I think we share a family tree

We always talked about going back to the US and how it was so much better there
And now when we are both returning back to our old homes, why does life seem unfair
We lamented about what all we gave up when we left the US
But never talked about what all we gained by reaching this address
They say you only realize the value of something when you lose it
I have Skype to play with you, but alone I will sit

We often play online, but there is a value to your presence
Even while we enjoy ourselves, I will lose your essence
I hope that you have a safe flight and journey
And will definitely come and meet you some time personally
I hope our stars align
We shall meet at least one more time
But for now, my dear friend Rohan, I shall say goodbye

If there is ever any problem, remember that I will be there to pacify
Be sure to send me a picture of your untanned hands building a snowman
We shall surely make some more memories and have something planned

Alex the Goddess of Sport wields a lacrosse stick menacing all who enter the crease
Ben is the Waffle God, protector of the butter and syrup
Caitlin is the Goddess of whimsy adding mirth to all she touches
Daniel brings the rain and gloom
Emma looms quietly in the stacks guarding the fantasy fiction
Finn the Demigod of Sloth doesn’t do much at all
Gregorius is the Master of Letters, his countenance is exacting
Hannah rules fashion, her judgment is fierce
Isabelle finds friends for the lonely and lost
Jack is an academic Titan, the ruler of grades, ensures A’s at all cost
Katie rules art, all of the drawing and paint
Lana protects the good, the quiet little Saints
Mindi is the Goddess of…. No one really knows what she does
Nora guides the Orchestra with a golden baton
Olivia the Healer, nurtures the sick
Phuong the Geometer knows all of the angles
Q’Andre is the Messenger he rules the halls
Rohan the PE God is in charge of the *****
Sarah the Studious supervises homework
Teresa guides the students on and off buses
Uddai the quiet one wanders the night
Valerie is the morning Goddess who turns on the lights
William conducts the choir with a gravelly voice
Xander the disciplinarian issues consequences
Yara remains outside spying the grounds
Zoë the wise helps students make good decisions

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