"Anything" we said
For you,
"Anything"
& in undying infatuation
I hold my word
However
Your promised "Anythings" turn to "nothings" lately
Your kisses, rushed to end
Your talks, short & everywhere
What ever happened to anywhere?
Perhaps I am overthinking!
I'm aware they often tend to take what's good for me & make it out bad
These Thoughts.
But aren't you the one that wanted one?
My carnal mind,
Locked up for fear of repeating past sins
I hid this side for a reason.
You told me you wanted this freed
Well now, darling, he tortures me with "anything"
& I can't seem
To tame this wild beast, see?
With more of my love ever-growing,
He wants you.
So why did you want him free
Muddling up my mind with unsweet "anythings". Was I
Reefing him out of my darkest seas
So he can blame you while he crushes me?
I never liked this side
But I give you "Anything"
& I always figured I'd give you my pain
I guess I also partly assumed you'd notice it.
Unreciprocated? Over-thought? Or am I simply going insane?
I heave them: Silence
But unlike the others
He does not work at hurting me through me,
Through things that I have done & have let made me. No.
He, villainous,
Hurts me through you
What you don't do.
Well unlike him, I am very patient for you darling
So I will leave him free for your pleasure.
Yet, in the meantime, I have to ask of you this. Please.
Because now, be that as it may be temporary,
our infections have to slumber in separate rooms
& textbooks conclude we meet on separate moons
So darling, will you talk to me soon?
Before he brings my fear come true
& finds a way for me, to use
to lose you.
"These Thoughts" = Intrusive thoughts
"He / carnal mind" = a darker, more sexually obsessive personality
"Infections..." = Both partners are ill & can not sleep together or in a shared space
