We stand here both in pergatory.
My only failure will be my respiratory
You're my air
You don't even care
That without you
I gasp
I gulp
I yearn for oxygen
But then again without
I'm dead

beneath the stillness of my ocean,

there are currents overwhelming,

& it’s a gentle, persisent undertow

-

they pull me down.

-

I can not tell, at times,

when the sea only whispers,

those waves of wonder,

I am all smiles on my vessel.

-

but lo! at times, I remove my hat,

And without, I can see reflections,

(refractions too!)

of the sunlight, illuminating,

the trenches & dark spots,

the layers I seek not to swim,

-

it is there, where I search for a map,

but there is no map, or guide of sorts,

my ocean remains ever unknown

it is there, where I float alone

-

they pull me down.

-

what is the worst; to know not

your ship or self?

I do not see either…

I can only see the reflections

-

that truth is drowning me….

-

I have made my boat bright,

intertwining daises freckle

the sides, but it is not me

-

& true! the piece will work

but for how long?

-

I fear I have not made it strong.

-

still, I shall sit in it. it carries

me well…

I have made seat enough for two

took the time to fill them up

no! my boat is full…

-

I must make for you, a space!

have my seat here…

me, I shall lay on the floor!

-



yes, I like it better here…

I can see only the sky…

& for miles & miles, I will

dream of, one day, sharing this view

-

& we won’t have to tell at times,

what the undertows are murmuring

-

I will not listen;

I will not let them pull me down

Lessons to be learnt,
Teaches me to dwell,
Aching is not felt,
Freed from thine hell.
Unbound from shackles,
released from pergatory,
fires let out a crackle,
only embers left, our story.
Wept I have not,
further away your ghost,
scars I have got,
yet renewal I boast.
The present; there is no more strife.
The past; I barely heed.
The future; new life.
I will nurture this seed....

Words are my imagination
As it fills the book of life
They are the history
Of humanity as we tell  
The story of life

It breathes life into a future of yesteryear and gives us the meaning of how to build our dreams on the parchment of life

As we hold it now and forever in our hearts to defend it from the pergatory of our past

Deaths consort
Stretches her fingers
Breathes a hushed sigh
With gentlest touch
She draws the end nigh
She walks past headstones
From dusk until dawn
Her slim figure cloaked
She is merely his pawn
She's heard it all,
The cries and the pleas;
There's nothing she can do
For death so decrees
That pergatory comes first
Before heaven or hell
With the final chime
The clock bids a black farewell
She leads them to her boat
The moaning and crying
The faceless barrage of
Of the dead and the dying

It doesn't seem fair does it?
So much emotion centered at another soul.
There is the passion, the completly overwhelming want to feel every inch of your body.
The unmistaken need of having you as close as humanly possible.
Your lips meet mine, and there is nothing that can overtake me that quickly.
Even your breath on the back of my neck is enough for me to,  for a moment or two forget the pain.
Forget how I spend most of the day.
We ended up in pergatory together.
As close as two can be, and never so torn as we are.
I'm so broken by your choices, pulled together again by the arms that tore out my heart.
We scream, spew hatred, cry, throw knives to see who can hurt who more.
Only to reach out for the other to save us everytime
To be true loves and each others poison.
It's truly terrifying.
Imagine you not here with me.
Imagine us spending the rest of our lives in this crazy chaos.
Lying in your arms is where I should be,
But the ghosts,
They can sure haunt a damaged soul.
Two people that have been broken into a million pieces.
The love, that undying unconditional truth that we cannot deny.
Why do we try my love?
Why is the anger so immense?
I wish we never even had to hear the word addiction.
I close my eyes, go back in time.
Before our life was unhinged.
I can feel that feeling,  feel the happiness run through my body.
Like a shockwave.
The lightning will strike again,
Reality will bring it all back.
Bring back the stranger who I remain chained to.
You, my disease
My cure.
Please save yourself.
To save me.
To save the perfect moment I forget how a white powder erased me from your mind.

if I could never wake up again, I'd pay a million dollars.
Instead of being in pergatory where the sun shines, and the sky's blue
where people laugh, and smile and yet
for me all I see is the gray against the gray that is my life
the sadness that fills from an everlasting well
to which others quench their fill of their grief or sorrow
only to leave me alone once again.

there is no rock bottom
no ending to the hole that I am falling through
As I fall I see good things, and when I was young
I believed that they meant I was going up
only I realized these were the good things that people left behind
as I descend into nothingness

If I could **** myself I would
Death does not scare me
I see it as a end
an escape
a finale
the last movement. But
that's out of the question.

because there is one thing left to do.
To love someone and be loved with all my heart and soul.
However, that too is out of the question
For who would fall in love with me?

The friends that I cherish I cannot leave because I care about them too muc
The music that I love I care about too much
But the pain and suffering that is acquainted with it
is too much for me to bear.

I imagine the sound of a thousand screeching nails against a chalkboard
or a hundred wailing babies
All I hear is the screaming in my end to quit and give up on this life.
Minute by Minute
Second by second.

All people want in this life is to be understood.
An impossible task for someone like me
For who can understand me?

combustion was concealed
as flashes of despair,
created plaque throughout
bruising memories.

catastrophic events
euthanized rational thoughts,
as grinning cheeks sparkled
upon dawning drizzle.

dejavu sprinkled sunshine
on a fainting glow,
as the moon smiled in
devious nightmares. .

pergatory a permanent domain,
sleeplessly engaged with ghosts
haunting her final dormitory.

life embezzling imperfections,
death welcomed infectious diseases.

limbo remained faithful
between pulsating beats,
while inhaling peculiar oxygen
embezzled immortality.

pulsating heartbeat expired,
long before the coffin nail
unearthed its final target.

With old eyes open, are we set free,
Is all a glimpse, of simple prophecy,                                                                      
Or tall, landed fable to fly children,
And bookend of time we borrow,
But lent pergatory of sole dream?
How the birds righty commend
The fine, happy sorrows of day,
How deepest ocean swoons
By alighted traces of moon,
How crisp unbridled beauty
Beams into youths of a girl,
How the salt blood streams
As golden sun swells ocean,
How the simple, cut mercies
In a flower are showcased,
How the stars, arc the sky,
Of stellar eyes embrace,
This then is miracle,
A flame to earth.

.
With old eyes open, are we set free,
Is all a glimpse, of simple prophecy,
Or tall, landed fable to fly children,
And bookend of time we borrow,
But lent pergatory of sole dream?
How the birds righty commend
The fine, happy sorrows of day,
How deepest ocean swoons
By alighted traces of moon,
How crisp unbridled beauty
Beams into youths of a girl,
How the salt blood streams
As golden sun swells ocean,
How the simple, cut mercies
In a flower are showcased,
How the stars, arc the sky,
Of stellar eyes embrace,
This then is miracle,
A flame to earth.

All I ever wanted was to be a part of you life.

To be able to call you on the phone just to hear your voice.
You never answered the call.

To send you random, long and rambling text messages of my Love.
You never replied.

All I wanted was to be able to spend time basking in the glow your presence.  
You kept me in the dark.

I wanted hear your warm, rich laughter and be held close by your side.
You left me alone in the cold.

But what did you want of me?

You wanted to give me just enough food to keep my love alive.
My love died anyway.

You wanted to hold me as an emotional hostage beholden only to you.
The ransom was my heart.

You wanted To leave me entombed in a pergatory
from which I’d never be able to escape.
My soul ached for release.

You wanted to dangle happiness in front of me with no intention of ever letting me grasp it.
I fell into an abyss void of all hope.

Mornings are always broken
It's raining  razor blades again
Cotton wool bombs live in my head
Mornings are dead just dead.
Mornings rear there ugly heads
Crows have eaten my eyes
Imagination is all I have
My body just tells me lies.
Mornings cry cocooned in my mind
Broken morn,when you are blind
Would it have been better to rest in peace
Than suffer as I do in a worn out fleece.
Weary of the razor blades
And bombs of cotton wool
Raging insanity of a barbwired bull
Please let me curl up and slowly die
My mornings are pergatory and the sun Shall not cry

It seems I try and speak. No one hears as to the silence no response.
Hardly anyone notices my presence
As very few react in emotions or welcoming actions
My work and my lonely beating heart
Seem to be invisible and the beat of questioned empty rhythm is never heard
I’m here although a ghost
If I disappeared should it make a mark?
If I stay would I make a difference?
Or am I in another dimension?
As I am Alice
Trapped in Wonderland
Shouting through the tiny door’s key hole
At myself
Shouting “wake up.you need to wake up!”
As the waking hours become the quiet pergatory and my dreams are a horror rated
Movie played in loop while in wonderland.
Can I wake up to be seen?

I hang in this suspension
Of liquid memory
Self-imposed stasis to keep
Change from corrupting me

Limbo - a kind of pergatory
Where I may be found
Endlessly searching for time
That I cannot get back

I couldn't be there today
I hope you know I'm sorry for that
I tried waking up
But I always turn back