Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Rae Nov 2023
I hardly remember anything after you were gone
I just sat in disbelief

Hurting you wasn't part of the plan
It's just how it is with me

I never wanted to be a monster
But it's just what I am

I wanted you tied to me forever
Inextricably ******

There is something rotting me from inside
Bleeding me out and gnawing
Suffocating all light
Rae Sep 2022
I hang in this suspension
Of liquid memory
Self-imposed stasis to keep
Change from corrupting me

Limbo - a kind of pergatory
Where I may be found
Endlessly searching for time
That I cannot get back

I couldn't be there today
I hope you know I'm sorry for that
I tried waking up
But I always turn back
Rae Aug 2022
Too tired to tell you why again
We've beaten this so hard
I'd say it's dead
You say I gotta have it my way
Do I?
My patience for your ******* is wearing thin
'Cause from where I stand
You're the one who can't
Come to terms with it
So much easier
To just pretend
Isn't it?

Feels like I'm talking to a ghost
But there's still blood under your skin
Thought that I was getting close
But you don't want to understand

How long?
How long?
How long?
How long do you think I'll be holding on?

Do you expect forgiveness?
Do you think I'm made of stone?
Do you think my heart's unbroken?
Don't act like I should have known

Feels like I'm talking to a ghost
But there's still blood under your skin
Thought that I was getting close
But you don't want to understand
Rae Aug 2022
I haven't called you in tears in awhile
You say I'm doing so well
You say you're so proud of me with a smile
Now there's no more worrying
No more waiting on me
Because everything's ok now, right?

No, and I know it's not
And I know it won't be

The truth is that every step I take toward strength and stability
Pushes me farther from everything that feels like home
And now here I am making everyone so happy
But inside I just feel ******* alone
Rae Apr 2022
I was never concerned
With how close I was to perfection
Until you asked me to change
Again and again
All for your love

And I did, in desperation
Till there was nothing left
Of who I really was
Or what I was made of

I guess nothing in this world comes for free
Oh nothing, nothing
In this world
Comes for free
Rae Jan 2022
Sort of still angry
Sort of want to scream
Sorta still thinking 'bout
The things he said to me

One foot out the door
But it's so cold outside
So I stay halfway in with you
Though I'm not satisfied

I know you see it, too
That look on my face
Misery, loneliness
Too scared to walk away

And I'm here in the dark
And time passes by
And I still can't feel a thing
Still afraid to try
Still waiting to die
Still don't know what
I thought I would become
A life meaning nothing
A life without love
A life never growing
A life just like a setting sun
Rae Jun 2021
I know my worth and it's not a lot
I tried my best but it just don't stop
I fall apart again and this time

I'm not gonna say goodbye
You're not gonna hear me cry
I've been on the fence I'm sorry
But now it's time to do what's right
And maybe if I'm being honest
I was never in the fight
You don't wanna throw the towel
But I'm not coming back this time

Not this time
Next page