tell me
why am i waiting on you
waiting for you
to come back
to love me fully
to hold me

let me know
when you'll be coming home
and home is of course not a place
but is simply just with me

tell me
are we ever gonna be on the same page again?
whether it's dogs or cats or fighting wars
will we ever fight for the same thing?

oh please
tell me
will you ever be ready to listen
or is this dream
has this dream
run it's course
and i
am obselete once more ?

further along from that friday
early, late, is it just a ruse
craving the past, i was brave then
verbal nerve catalyst (heart beats wild down staircase)
are we the same,  impartial neighbours,  somewhat lovers
walking past each other in silence?

-cj

I sit and think about life.
Misunderstood, confused and full of strife. Only if my mind I could interpret, but only a universe of phenomena is found. Trying to comprehend existence and its lust to destruct, caused by greed and control, its life is bound. Morals oblivious, Care obselete. To change for advandcement an obvious feat. But I am just a single man with a heart, lacking wealth so power as well. No skill in skills, no influence to help me seek an answer, this place just a speck from hell. I ponder why I exist and survive... and a meaning to explain the nefarious nature a race portrays. Once I understand the catechism of life It shall be way beyond my day. Fully decomposed six feet under. A peaceful world is only a wonder.

Light breeds shadow
In the form of fear
Consuming my immortality bit by bit
Creating a fiend
That guzzle up my happiness
Till the deepest core of my conscience
Remorselessly

Piecemeal
I am dying from my own trepidation
That agitates me

Whether to choose malevolence
That is sweet and warming
Or to choose benevolence
That is pain and suffering

Only the saint's heart will find its way
With the least tainted loopholes
Gifted by the brute to the paradise god has created

Destitute and feeling obselete
Failed to be absolute
I seclude myself
To a silence so deafening
And the temperature is dropping
While the loneliness is creeping

In fetal position
On this oversize king bed
With blue bed shed
But no blanket

Vainer, i thought.

Feel the blood rushing into and out of your body
While you cling on to a reality that has become obselete
To a place where only harm can come to those you love and yourself.
Like you are being skull-****** to death by your best friend.

What would that do to someone like you?
Would you imagine it to bring pleasure of some kind?  
Like a rat trapped in a cage, barely nibbling pieces of cheese in the corner.
While eyes bulging, awaiting the next attack.

Struck by lightening of another kind altogether
The kind that leaves scars and are misinterpreted as happiness
Just more side-tracking and never completely changing
Into who I want to be.
Who I really am.

I sit and think about life.
Misunderstood, confused and full of strife. Only if my mind I could interpret, but only a universe of phenomena is found. Trying to comprehend existence and its lust to destruct, caused by greed and control, its life is bound. Morals oblivious, Care obselete. To change for advandcement an obvious feat. But I am just a single man with a heart, lacking wealth so power as well. No skill in skills, no influence to help me seek an answer, this place just a speck from hell. I ponder why I exist and survive... and a meaning to explain the nefarious nature a race portrays. Once I understand the catechism of life It shall be way beyond my day. Fully decomposed six feet under. A peaceful world is only a wonder.

The first time you saw me
you were staring at me
face blank with a big question
Where are you from?
Thailand
Japan
South Korea
Singapore
Vietnam
China, I am from China.
I didn’t wait for you to get stuck
in an endless abyss of map search

Ah, China!
Then you are suddenly reminded
of an obselete word active in nowhere except your kitchen
(and perhaps your GI tract)
Painfully welcoming
as you take a closer look at me now

I felt like a ******* ******
mind frozen against your fierce gaze
Though all you did was to
shake my hand gently and briefly
like you were just acquainted with me

A slight trace of uncertainty flashed across your face
as your eyes rested upon mine
with a voice saying “Nice to meet you.”

The second time we met
you were smiling at me
fighting the best you can
to refresh memories about me
Which part of China?
Echoes of media reveberate beneath the screen

So you’ve heard of the stories
The rich east booming with red captitalism
and the impoverished west ocassionally annoyed
by separatist troublemakers

But I am from the part of China
with a past too glorious to be ignored
yet a present too obscure to be proud
One second of repositioning later
I heard myself saying
I am from the city of ancient China

Then you were struck by thoughtful silence
That was made of artificial admiration
and numb alienation
a secret nowhere to hide
And I smiled back with real pains

Unsuccessful at what they do
Do what they're told to do
Not in the best manner possible
Lacking the trust of friends and family circles
Bad at accepting defeat
Which is consistently their feat
Higher Value deminishing
After they were part of it
Yearning for respect
Always a suspect
Never shown interest
Treated with disrespect
Ignored unless of use
Also ran since school
Angry and absents himself
Return to find that was never missed
Failing regularly at task in hand
Incompetence goes hand in hand
At a disadvantage in any situation
Low esteem casting shadow
All directions giving shade to his sorrow
Joker of the pack
Clown of the room
Cartoon in the ballroom
Comedian of his dominion
Snubbed with ease
Always ready to be teased
Made to apologise
Unapologetic behaviour from the other side
Showed away like a number
His name no one cares to remember
Swatted away like a fly
Best weapon is to go home and cry
Walks away without a whimper
Treated badly in society
Even that not in the memory
Misfit tired of facing the heat
Other misfits have reserved his seat
Nothing concrete to speak
In his life time becomes obselete
Lowest point on the percentile graph
None bothered to even pass a remark
Been there done that
That's how I know it so well
Life added complex already born with
Brutal and Savage conduct from birth dealt with