"mstks" poems
I just hurt everyone
I fabricate false truths like art
I weave them together like threads in a tapestry
A kind of poisonous performance art
I steal others ideas and use them as mine
Upon an alter I sacrifice friends to the abyss
And for what?
Who knows why
Long ago has my fire burned out
Its last sparks disappearing as I write
Too young am I
To cloud over with the sorrows of my past
My possible futures I’ve given up
Just to cry
Stuck like a record player
I repeat the same mistakes
I repeat the same mistaks
I repeat the same misaks
I repeat the same mstks
I repeat the same mstk
I repeat the same mtk
I repeat the same mk
I repeat the same m
until there are no more to repeat
and those that loved me
leave me
I fall in spiral
Endlessly into an infinite hole
Unable to stop
Yet it is me
I am killing myself
I can’t live like this anymore
But I know I will
No matter what anyone says
The last sparks of hope,
That used to blaze
An inferno in my eyes and soul
Mind and body,
Have died
lies
May 30, 2018
May 30, 2018 at 12:42 PM UTC
As I lie awake in my bed,
I remind myself of all my stupid mistakes
How I could've avoided them and fixed the situation
My mom said not to use the word "could,"
Because it is too late to change my past
There is no point in dwelling on it
But if I could go back and redo half,
Knowing what I know now, maybe, just maybe,
I'd be in a better position
Instead of worrying that I'm not good enough
And that I'll somehow be a complete mess
Everything would be different
But I am happy now, and I wouldn't trade that
And if I went back in time and changed things,
I would not be where I am now
Sep 21, 2018
Sep 21, 2018 at 2:03 PM UTC