"leftie" poems
Fingerpress folds of pain
Along the spine,
And a flare of agony
As she activates pituitary.
Ovaries are dull-achy
A pleasant, grit-teethy pain.
Keep on with your caterpillar walk, pretty lady,
Making me wince, but in a really good way.
Big toe bruisy feel,
Crunchy in the heel,
Colon is swollen,
Adrenals, as always,
Chronically inflamed.
The right foot
is happier than the left,
Why is that?
I don't discriminate
But leftie sulks, for some reason,
Hurtier than sprightly right.
Afterwards, drink lots of water,
Have a good cry, and go to bed.
Renew yourself, through sleep,
Just like she said.
Oct 10, 2013
Oct 10, 2013 at 4:57 PM UTC
Who bowls without being too speedy?
Who'd bowl 'til his fingers were bleedy?
For England he should
But selection no good
Lancashire's leftie, Gary Keedy.
Feb 9, 2010
Feb 9, 2010 at 10:38 PM UTC
We lay our coats down at the feet of Saul,
And stones we hurl, curses and stones:
libtard,
Fascist, snowflake, reactionary, slime
****** demoncrat, shrillary, trumptard,
Republicrap, boomer, millennial,
****** ***** alt-right, leftie, scumbag,
Crayon-people, ***** tape-worm, muppet, dweeb,
Sock-puppet, Russkie, **** trash, and creep
And thus we deny the Cornerstone when
We lay our coats down at the feet of Saul
Apr 19, 2018
Apr 19, 2018 at 2:53 PM UTC
I'm mad as hell
I thought I had it in the bag
But this leftie groundswell
Throws in an unexpected snag.
The Media blab my name
Gorges on the outcome
They shout it's me you have to blame
To the beat of their usual drum.
DeSantis isn't helping
The guy needs worship at my shrine
I'm the one who did the selling
Kudos for his win should be all mine.
As to my wife her instincts proved so wrong
Dr Oz was clearly not a match
For a muddled guy who simply came on strong
And that unexpected win did ******
Another curve ball in my life
I'm sick and tired of all this tripe
While I'm great at handling strife
I so detest such lousy hype.
Still today's another day
My foes should know me well by now
I'd suggest they start to pray
As through their fields of hope I'll plow.
Run I will and watch me swing
I'm a winner through and through
My bark and bite will sorely sting
And if all fails, I'll simply sue.
Nov 12, 2022
Nov 12, 2022 at 9:46 AM UTC
Yes, I’ve done it once again
Removed a seeping cancerous pain,
Soleimani’s dead and gone,
The devil’s agent, the Ayatollah’s pawn.
Long the source of all things bad,
Few if any should feel sad,
If his passing caused a stir
His gruesome end aimed to deter.
Now a martyr for their cause
They’ll build him up like Santa Claus,
With waiving arms and raucous shouts
The world will see they’re no boy scouts.
My daring deeds on show once more,
They surely number by the score,
A man of steel and firm resolve,
Heaven sent to problems solve.
Yet the Media still won’t say
How great my feats are every-day,
A bunch of losers, leftie goons,
Their brains the size of shriveled prunes.
They’re now all worried by the path
Iran will take to show its wrath,
Bring it on and stand aside,
While I help our missiles glide.
If my message isn’t clear
To those that neither hear nor fear,
Mess with us and watch the show
As we make your backyard glow.
Jan 4, 2020
Jan 4, 2020 at 3:41 PM UTC