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Jill Anderson Jul 2012
I was six years old
I got a stuffed piglet
From you
For my birthday.
I remember the picture you took.
Laying on the white couch
In my purple shirt
Hugging that tiny piglet
Tears in my eyes.
Tears of excitement maybe
Or maybe sadness because I knew I couldn't stay forever.
Stay in your house
Were I felt safe
Loved
Wanted.
I was eight years old.
We found out we could stay
Or so we thought.
You told us we wouldn't have to live with her anymore
We celebrated.
I was so very excited to be safe
Loved
Wanted.
I was nine years old.
We went to Washington to go to the water park
For my birthday.
You bought me a purple teddy bear.
I named him President Theodore Roosevelt.
I thought I was clever.
Karla sent Kate and I to bed so the adults could hang out
I cried.
I didn't get to say goodnight to my Daddy on my birthday.
I wanted one more hug
Before my dreams too me to a place
Where I could be forever safe
Loved
Wanted.
I was eleven.
We didn't go to the Enchanted Forest for the first year
For my birthday.
You bought me a giant stuffed dog
You somehow squeezed him in a rather small box
So I couldn't guess what it was
Because I was always able to.
I named him Beethoven
To be Mozart's new friend.
Wrapped up in his soft, tan body
I felt ever so safe.
Loved.
Wanted.
I was thirteen
My first birthday actually living in Oregon.
You made a huge chocolate-chocolate cake
The one with chocolate chunks sticking out of the frosting.
I blew out the candles not having a wish
The wish I made for the past twelve years finally came true:
I was living with you.
I was only allowed one piece of that amazing cake
For I had a swim meet in two days.
We celebrated as a family.
There was this picture taken of Karla and I.
Both smiling.
This may be the last one taken of us happy.
At the time I felt so safe.
Loved.
Wanted.
I was sixteen.
Most girls got to go get their license on their sixteenth birthday.
I spent my day in bed
Crying.
I asked for the day off from work.
You even made me call to ask if I could work
When you found out and yelled.
You screamed and yelled how I was always disobeying you
How once again I ruined your plans.
You made me stay in my room all day
My phone was taken away
I don't think I even ate that day or the next
You brought me a piece of cake before you threw out the rest
I simply stared at the chocolate-chocolate cake through tears
Hating myself for ruining my birthday.
Hating you for allowing me to hate myself
For not letting me feel safe.
Loved.
Wanted.
I was eighteen
I woke up to chocolate-chocolate cake
Tina made for me;
She didn't even know it was a tradition.
I was surrounded by friends all day.
But you never even called.
You didn't send a text,
Write a note on Facebook, or even a message.
My daddy didn't even wish me a happy eighteen birthday.
Instead I got to go swimming,
Eat veggie kabobs Sam made,
Surround myself with people who make me feel safe.
Loved.
Wanted.
Tomorrow I turn nineteen.
I am ignoring my birthday.
I will say thank you to those who write on my Facebook wall
But with no phone I will only call my mom.
We may go to dinner, my wonderful boyfriend and I.
But I refuse to celebrate.
That would in turn be thanking the man who created me
Who will not call
Will not write
That one that doesn't even give a **** if I am even still alive.
Who doesn't know where I am.
The one who kicked me out before I even turned eighteen.
That man who I am supposed to call my father.
My daddy who used to hug me
Hold me when I was scared
Made me feel safe
Loved
Wanted.
That same man who now makes me feel unworthy
Lost, confused, sad, angry beyond belief,
Because he won't even call me on my birthday.
So happy birthday to me!
I will not celebrate knowing the man who gave me life
The man who nineteen years ago held his baby girl
Not knowing he would one day ruin her
Make her feel so vulnerable
Unloved
Unwanted
On her birthday.
Jandel Uy Mar 2017
Ikaw na babaeng sumasayaw sa dilim,
   Ikaw na nakakapit sa patalim:

Di ba nasusugat ang porselanang palad
    Na kasing lambot ng puwit ng sanggol?

Sa matalim na kutsilyong kinakapitan
      Ano mang oras hahatulan ng lipunan?

At sa higpit ng piring mo sa mata,
     Pasasaan pa't mabubulag ka na

Ikaw na babaeng gumigiling-giling,
   Iba't ibang laway ang pinanghihilamos gabi-gabi

Ang sugatan **** puso'y walang gamot
    Ngunit ang kandungan mo'y sagot

Sa mga problema ng mga lalakeng–
      Naghahanap ng panandaliang saya.

Ikaw ba, babaeng hubad,
   Naranasan mo na ba ang lumigaya?

Kumusta na ba ang anak mo sa una **** nobyo?
     Balita ko'y di ka na niya kilala.

Hindi ba't may tatlo ka pa sa probinsiya
   Na pinagkakasiya ang padala **** barya?

Naalala mo ba ang bilin sa 'yo
     Ni Karla na siyang una **** bugaw?

"Huwag **** bigyan ng puwang sa utak mo
      Ang sasabihin ng Inay mo.

Sasampalin ka niya, di ng palad niya,
     Kun'di sakit na dama ng isang Ina.

At iyon ang pinakamasakit
    Sa lahat ng puwedeng sumakit."

Ilang ulit mo na bang tinanong ang sarili
   Kung saan ka nagkamali?

Kung ilang liko ang ginawa
     Para mapunta sa hawlang 'sing dilim ng kuweba

Na pinamamahayan ng mga paniking
     Takot sa liwanag na magpapakita ng mga galos

Na bunga ng mga gabing kinukurot ang sarili,
     Tinatanong, hinihiling na sana'y bangungot lamang

Ang buhay nila sa dilim,
    Pasasaan pa't nasanay na rin.

Ikaw na isang mabahong lihim
   Ng mga mister na may misis na bungangera

Ha'mo na't sa iyo naman sila panatag
     Sa mga suso **** malusog, pinili nilang humimbing.

Ikaw na pantasiya ng karamihan,
   Ano ba ang pakiramdam ng pinagsasalsalan

Ng mga nagbibinatang hindi pa tuli,
      Ng mga lalakeng di kaya ang presiyo mo,

O ng matandang libog na libog sa mabango **** kepyas
      Ngunit nanghihiram ng lakas at tigas sa ******?

Saan ka na ba nakapuwesto ngayon?
    Sa Malate, Morayta, Quiapo, o Aurora?

Ilan na ba ang napuntahan mo?
  Ilan pa ba ang bibiyayaan mo ng iyong alindog?

Sa Makati Ave, Pasay, o sa Parañaque?
      Ha'mo na't langit pa rin naman ang dala mo

Kahit na alam ninyo ng Diyos
    Na nakaukit na ang pangalan mo sa impyerno.

Ikaw na babaeng walang pangalan,
   Ano ba ang itatawag ko sa 'yo?

Ilan na ba ang nahiram mo sa tabloid
  O sa mga artistang iniidolo mo?

Kathryn, Julia, Nadine, Meg, Yen, Anne
    Yna, Katya, Ara, Cristine, Kristine, Maui

Daria, Pepsi, RC, Susan, Gloria, Lorna, Aida, Fe
    Vilma, Sharon, Nora, Maricel, Dina

Ikaw na babaeng 'sing nipis ng balat ng sibuyas ang saplot
   Di ka ba nilalamig sa pag-iisa mo?

Ikaw na babaeng marumi,
  Sadsad na sa lupa ang lipad, saan ka pupunta?

Wala ka nang kawala sa dilim,
     Pasasaan pa't malalagutan ka rin ng hininga
        at  magpapasalamat sa biyaya.

Ikaw na babaeng bukod tangi,
   Ginawa **** lahat pero hindi naging patas ang mundo.

Lunukin mo na lang ang mga hibla ng pagsisisi
    Ipagdadasal kong huwag nang magdilim sa hawla mo.
alvin guanlao Mar 2011
Darkness adds flavor to satisfy taste
unhandled Mood swings are all over the place
those Eyes must be capable of Lying
sinful, so be it, but i don't want to see her Crying

Thick outer crust is what she always project
things related to Blood shed won't make her feel weaker
Soft inner core is what i need to protect
from her fragile romance and a bottle of liquor

Prototype of my body's chemical reaction
I want to kiss her Lips even in a small fraction
thinking about her Body is a major distraction
She's the most beautiful girl and i don't need your reaction

Outcome can be sweet as sunshine and rainbows
but i don't expect too much because i know how the Wind Blows
and if a Sudden change of Heart will occur
MAHAL NA MAHAL KITA LENG THATS FOR SURE!
jdmaraccini Aug 2014
www.soundcloud.com/nethersky/goodbye-sweet-karla

I search for words lord knows I try,
I sat in my room, I sat in my room and cried.
It has been so very long since I've seen you
where has the time gone.

(chorus)
We were just children playing under a million stars
they were so brilliant.
We were resilient to the troubles of the world
living in a world that we were given.
We would both just listen to our hearts, their beating,
she asked, "are we in love?"

The memories keep flooding in ...
we're on a snowy hill we hide just to hold hands again.
By the fireplace, we are telling stories in each other's arms,
just two children, love is innocent,
I can't believe that she ... that she is gone.

If I could trade places I would,
I'd lay my life down so you can be with family again.
In my memory you will stay,
we will be children forever in a warm embrace.

(x1 chorus)

I search for words lord knows I try,
I sat in my room, I sat in my room and cried.
JDMaraccini
2014

www.soundcloud.com/nethersky/goodbye-sweet-karla
Adele Jan 2015
The words they speak
are sharper than blades
And their looks,
daggers that could tear a skin
Their eyes are blind,
can't see what's inside

Like shadows they creeped
Stabbing backs and innocence deemed
Always lurking in the darkness
Justice they served
but lives diminished

Your flaws are
something they gaze
The truth made me daze
The word equality is no
longer in their vocabulary
How can they fire bullets
without thinking the lives
they perceived

Trash in their brains
are twirling like a tornado
slowly messing their thoughts
slowly killing feelings, everywhere they go

Dictated by their own free will
Cowered in fear as they
thought it was real
What they've seen,
deception in mutilation
Power overrule by those who torture
Torturing minds, creating lies
The innocent happily flying kites
But they cut it with pure contempt
Convincing they will get
that chance again
"Listen to the words you seek
Don't listen to a word they say
Do NOT listen to a word you've heard
Do not listen to a word you've heard
People are people we live for our own
Live how you think not by what you've been told"

In God's eyes we're all the same
where do you think we all came?
Don't let them fool you
By their tools of deception
We are all the same
We will die someday
So maybe, it's time for a change.

-
*Adele Karla & Erenn
"Let us start the change we want to see. The change that begins in me." Ending the poem with a prayer of hope.

Thank you Erenn! Especially for helping me out with my ink. Always been a good time collaborating with you. Society should hear this :D
Laura D May 2014
You are always second guessing
yourself, you are full of things that
are unfinished and unsent and I
wonder how many times love has
only seen the world from behind
your teeth because you never
found courage to say it. I want to
know the secrets your backspace
holds because sometimes I think
the reason you’re misunderstood
is just because the things you feel
so clearly only make it to the tip
of your tongue before you swallow
them back down
.

I would be happy to hold the words for you
if they're too heavy
or sharp
I would be happy to carry the world for you
if ever you drown
or can't find the beauty
in oblivion
or in yourself

don't forget I will always
Kimmy-Nichole Jul 2011
so this just in.
last night, after a grueling  day of nanny-ing, I went to  the davis consignment store and broused around   finding some numerous  cute tops and shorts as well as purchasing 2 new books to add to my reading collection ( i just finished the time travelers wife.)
so than  around 4pm  I  was heading to B st  where I   was meeting with my future roomate, who by the was amazingly nice and pretty and has a boyfriend and turns 21 in september. Im so excited to leave parkside apts - living in north davis is such a drag. Central Davis here I come  ( Ill be living   5 minutes to  UC davis, an amazing arbotreum, pools, the davis Arc and frat  row and party city. This is going to be the best thing  that has happened to me.)
So after that  I went back to my  apt  and as giddly as ever, called my mom to  tell her my amazing roomate  news.   ( mY moms finally really proud of me. I am working 2 full time jobs as a nanny  from 8:30 am  to 2:30 pm than my night nanny job  4:30 pm to 5:30 am except on wed thur fridays.)
so it being my night off, i   figured why not go out.  so my apartment neighbor whom i met at the gym friend jesse who is 29, studied as a foreign exchange student in finland for a year, gotten a dui, is a davis townie, went to a  college called will-am-eit  and was in a fraternity out there. he is fun to go out with and bar hop in downtown with; the last time i was  out with jesse, i went to a bar called sophias than later on met up with my ex crush who is this charming dbag from winters named chad and got fun drunk. Well in aims for that spirit again we started off  by drinking and laughing at my apt . we decided to go lay out by the hot tub  and drank beer  being sillly kids. we decided to hit up downtown davis for this bar called the grad. It was beach themed  country line dancing night. Yeah , being alone because  your friend is off showing off his line dancing with precision kinda moves and meeting line dancing babes in bikinis ...awkward for sure. so amungst bying my own 2 beers which were hand picked by my big  and sure of himself bartender, which eventually  led to my  very  interesting night of drunken madness. It kicked off on as previously mentioned on the way to the grad which lead to me leaving with this older woman in a cab to another bar that was supposed to be more enertaining.  I ended up forgetting my id at the grad, my phone was dead and to top it all off  i didnt know anyone s number at the top of my head.  i decided to take matters in to my own feet and chose to hoof it back to my apt on f street. god, what a long and stupering night that was.  when i finally made it, out of exhaustion and drunkness , i  collided onto my neighbors couch still in    last nights outfit. karla  woke me up at 7 :30 and i showered  feeling super ****** and groggy , i couldnt eat or drink. I had work at 8:30. not feeling so hot, i was slowly getting through the day. the kids and i all layed on and under blankets and stuffed animals, and i told stories. it was really cute and relaxing. i love those kids.prior to that i threw up. after that it was time to drop off timothy at therapy, than abigail and abraham at speech therapy. I threw up in the bathroom, and on the sideof the minivan in front of ruth and timothy. ugh.    
so  than after i talked to my neighbor  slash ex boyfriend patrick about getting in connection with a a herb that helps me feel better by increasing my appittie and helping me sleep. he provided wth that special  herb. while sitting and smoking, i felt the spark that we used to have. i confessed to sleeping with a guy i met in newport two weeks ago on the fourth of july when i went back home. patrick told me he has hooked up with this slutty townie girl, and i wish them both std free happyness.

here i am typing away , getting sleepier and sleepier. Tonight will be a  early night indeed. i love my new spirit and i love who i am. i love where i am going. i will not exceed more alcohol than my tiny light weight body can handle.. Well it feels good to write. i know i must get back on that writing more often. until next time,
-Kimmy
Hank Helman Oct 2018
Karla told me to give up art.
You really aren't very good at it, she said,
And suggested I take up drinking full time, instead.

At least with a beer in your hand,
You project a sense of purpose, she said
Even if it's only to empty the glass.

But your poems ramble on forever,
Your short stories always stop in the middle,
Maybe you should combine the two, she suggested
And blew her cigar smoke down the front of my sweater.

We will call them stoems she said and laughed,
And challenged me to a push up contest,
Right there on the dance floor.

I declined, she knew I would,
Then let's dance with our backs to each other, she said,
And defend this art of yours, silly puzzles no one can comprehend.
Karla is a strong woman. A bit of a ***** but she talks to me straight. Which is interesting because I think in hair pin turns and mud puddles. I love her dearly. And she owes me money. Which I know I will never see. I don't care.
Hank Helman Oct 2019
Karla called me at 2 a.m.
Define love, she said without preamble,
Or introduction,
And in her vox humilus morning coffee voice.

Well I'd love to sleep right through the night, I replied,
And waited,
Hopelessly,disappointingly
For the snort.

Karla,
A woman who howls  at knock knock jokes,
Can absorb sarcasm like a coral reef sponge,
Consume it, digest it,
And spit it out like tobacco juice,
Held her breath and counted to ten.

Give me a one sentence definition , she demanded,
Try and convince me, she said.

Well love is when we take responsibility for the
Happiness of another, I said,
And searched my darkened bedside table,
For what I knew was a nearly full
Bottle of beer,
Which I, of course,
Lifted to my lips,
Despite the fly floating on its back.

Karla was silent.
Not unusual.
'Conversation is not a contest' is stenciled
On her Sunday T-shirt and
She never cries.
Out-loud.

So love is pain, she finally replied.

Did she die, I asked her feather soft.

Yes, minutes ago,she replied.

Come by, I said,
We will take a bath,
Drink from the bottle,
And reminisce with the lights off,
For as long as it takes.
Knock knock
Who is there?
I smell mop.
I smell mop who.
Ew!

Joke from the interweb
Maryanne M Jan 2013
The smell of coffee
The laughter of the early shoppers
Classic love songs
An open window
Sunrise

The sound of the birds
mingles perfectly with the rough
sound of the motorcycles and the waves

The morning sky
The excited tapping of flip flops
The local paper boy
A crumpled bed
Fresh bread

"Hey Marianna! Come down and
have some coffee! I got a new
story!" There goes my neighbor Old Jorge

Messy morning hair
The noise of the wooden stairs
Wrinkled night shirt
Sunny side up
Wild Rice

Listening to old Jorge's classic
story for the 67th times while
breathing in the morning sea breeze

The yellow butterfly
The ringing of the church bell
A smiling passerby
An old bicycle
A kiss

"Morning Marianna!"
There goes Karla in her denim shorts
and long legs and sweet smile and pretty nails

The playing kids
The old lady with a sprinkler
The swaying green leaves
Lazy golden retriever
Pretty girls

Ah! If I could grab the
whole world in the palm of
my hands and keep it in my pocket..
Author's Note: The simplest of things... the uncorrupted.
Jan Svoboda Jul 2015
It's another morning full of emptiness
when six is sick and life is nothingness
it's the same as yesterday as the days before
though today I am not alone
she's beautiful young insane
probably a *****
***** on dope
***** on dope
***** on dope
I don't even know her name
and she doesn't believe that my name Jan
we keep asking each other for our names
none of us hears an answer
we keep asking each other for our names
none of us understands
lying on my bed
watching a white ceiling
I think of helping her
I think of healing
she is sitting there
with her legs crossed
the mute child is slightly swaying
looking nowhere
Karla, Světlanka or a black-haired ghost
her door is closed
she needs someone to open it with
I do not know how
who will call the locksmith
who will call the locksmith
when none of can move
I feel like a *******
and she wants to be soothed
two flies are hanging on a curtain
in a blacked out room
I've been watching them for a long time
they are dead or just don't move
they are dead or just don't move
two flies
Written in Brno, Bystrc in February 1997
Hank Helman Feb 2020
Karla asked me why I write poetry.

At least if you wrote eulogies, she said,
You might make new friends,
Open a few doors.

Perhaps then, she said,
And this while she drank straight from the bottle,
Then, she repeated, at least then I might witness
A modicum of progress,
Within this illusion of yours,
And I might understand the purpose of
This infinite investment of your time.

And maybe, she said,
As she pulled a heavy hit from her cigar,
White nimbus rings,
Rolling, roiling perfect doughnuts,
Appeared like tricks,
Out of her o shaped mouth,
One after the other,
All perfectly constructed
As they drift and hang ghost-like
In the dull-dead New York night-time air.

Karla never rests.
And in an act of chronic defiance,
She manages to perfectly project
One smoke ring through the other,
And I slow clap until she smiles
And drinks again

Then , she continued,
Still talking about the only reason I don't **** myself-
Then, she repeated, she was more drunk than me,
When the accolades come, she said,
I could tolerate your never ending fuss  and substitution,
That masquerades as improvement.

I write verse to camouflage my despair, I said
Only poets are openly allowed to be moody,
Self centered,
Disorganized,
Angry,
Drunk,
Inconsolable,
Dishonest,
An­d still be invited to the best parties, I said,
Where, I continued, I get to the person
Everyone else is glad they are not.

Then you have achieved your goal.
Karla nodded at me and smiled,
She blew another six perfect bracelets,
Six new jelly fish floated across to me,
We watched in silence,
Before she took another
Cheek swelling swig of
Macallan's twelve year old.
Hank Helman Nov 2023
Karla said we should get lost.

Let's go off-trail, she said,
To some distant part of this city,
And we will walk until we wander.

I'd been drinking since dawn,
Not a usual thing,
And yet somehow today
A beer for breakfast,
Seemed like the right thing to do.

Come on, she said,
And pulled me by the arm.
We will edge away from all your demons,
And find a secret place to make out.

Then after, you can buy me a dollar cup of joe,
Karla continued.

We'll chew with our mouths wide open,
Trample down a half dozen donuts each
Then tease-feed the pigeons with samples and dessert.

What if it rains, I asked as I did up my old Nikes.

Then we get wet Karla said and kissed me.
july hearne Mar 2021
he fatly wore the red dress
standing fatly as the  clergy
of the one true church of marxism,

most holy karla
carved, carved karla
coming for the kids

cuckold, cucked, cuck
judas pence
judas pence lives
what to do with his silver
what to do with his stagflation
fox ferried across the river
time for tomorrow
punishment for the sold soul of a nation

hope today is your first day of sorrow
hope many days of sorrow follow your first day of sorrow
The bus driver is only doing his job-



he says i am out of my zone



come on mate- take a look at the rain-



i just want to get home



never mind- its not too far to walk



as this sudden shower comes steaming down



London Bus lookin all shiny red new in the rain.



so i take cover and hudde on the pavement



and write this poem- as rain spilling over the cracked asphalt



,washing over me toes, into paper wrapper river in the gutter-



search and return to the gushing thames



in drab doorway i see pregnant mother



with dripped make-up and cigarette-



a bloke runs past into the Tote-



theres a stench of Old Holborn and alcohol



The cool dread hipster blackman soundshop-



pumpin out da reggae sound all round



an chillin there inside snug



an outside da rain drippin down.



headless wooden mannequins in windows



indifferent and dead to the scene



model outdated displays



of yesteryears east end Fashion



The screech -grind -halt-



of braking trucks and cars



taxis and buses



and halt heave hum, go off and on



phrases like jazz



emitted from the traffic hissing



on the wet steam road



passing the plain low gates



and walls of modest eastend brick



Little pockets of Istanbul-



vending exotic skewered tastes



empty cardboard boxes piled high on the pavement-



sickly sweet old vegetable odours



curiously shaped paprikas- purple sweet potatoes



- halved pumpkins, ginger aponkenam, breadfruit,



Karla, Kassava and Jamaican mangoes



Ol' Carribean Mama she price the purple p'taters



an mumble she grumble onward, homeward



past the asian butcher selling cows feet



fifty nine pence for two



sad looking cadavers of chickens



comically -hung by their feet



boney alien headless n sad



and blood spurted and smeared



and dried on a cardboard box-



so rich an odour of spice and death-



what words to use



yams and hams and potted jams



shelves stacked with imported cans



grinding horror of the butchers blade



splintered marrow bone in broken bleeding box.



brown Black plantain bananas-



fat black boy in trainers and baseball cap-



kicks a discarded apple about in a puddle-



Illegible torn bills and posters on posts



walls and naked wooden doors



of cracked paint peeling in the rain



Unnumbered identities of unknown ethnic origins



scattered uprooted far travelled communities



stirred in the stew of this eclectic london Crucible



shuffling by under unhappy umbrellas-



an unenthused housewife in tracksuit pushing



twins to the child support centre-



wishin she'd married a bloke with money



north africans in bright kaftans



saunter surreally in the full cool, attitude of summer



somehow the Tottenham and Celtic suporters



seem more misplaced in this scene-



people with gaunt girocheque expressions



huddled in Pub over pints



awaiting the Worlds End



To my left number plates while you wait



keys cut school of motoring special rates



then a right into finsbury station out f te rain



and the scene fades.
The bus driver is only doing his job-
he says i am out of my zone
come on mate- take a look at the rain-
i just want to get home

never mind- its not too far to walk
as this sudden shower comes steaming down
London Bus lookin' all shiny red n' new in the rain.
so i take cover and hudde on the pavement
and write this poem- as rain spilling over the cracked asphalt
, washing over me toes, into paper wrapper river in the gutter-
search and return gushing to the Thames

in drab doorway i see pregnant mother
with dripped make-up and cigarette-
a bloke runs past into the Tote-
theres a stench of Old Holborn and alcohol

The cool dread hipster blackman soundshop-
pumpin out da reggae sound all round
an chillin' der inside an'snug
an outside da rain drippin down.

headless wooden mannequins in windows
indifferent and dead to the scene
model outdated displays
of yesteryears east end Fashion

The screech -grind -halt-
of braking trucks and cars
taxis and buses
and halt heave hum, go off and on

phrases like jazz
emitted from the traffic hissing
on the wet steam road
passing the plain low gates
and walls of modest east-end brick

Little pockets of Istanbul
vending exotic skewered tastes
empty cardboard boxes piled high on the pavement-

sickly sweet old vegetable odours
curiously shaped paprikas- purple sweet potatoes
- halved pumpkins, ginger aponkenam, breadfruit,
karla, kassava and Jamaican mangoes

Ol' Carribean Mama she price the purple Taters
an mumble she grumble onward, homeward
past the Asian butcher selling cows' feet
fifty nine pence for two

sad looking cadavers of chickens
comically -hung by their feet
boney, alien headless n sad
and blood spurted and smeared
and dried on broken ****** cardboard box-

so rich an odour of spice and death-
what words to use?
yams and hams and potted jams
shelves stacked with imported cans
grinding horror of the butchers blade
splintered marrow bone in broken bleeding box

brown black plantain bananas-
fat black boy in trainers and baseball cap-
kicks a discarded apple about in a puddle-

Illegible torn bills and posters on posts
walls and naked wooden doors
of cracked paint peeling in the rain

Unnumbered identities of unknown ethnic origins
scattered uprooted far-travelled communities
stirred in the stew of this eclectic London Crucible
shuffling by under unhappy umbrellas-

an unenthused housewife in tracksuit pushing
twins in double pram and wishing-
she had married a bloke with money

Africans in bright kaftans
Saunter surreally in the cool, attitude of summer
somehow the Tottenham and Celtic suporters
seem more misplaced in this scene-

people with gaunt girocheque expressions
huddled in Pub over pints
awaiting the Worlds End
To my left number plates while you wait
keys cut school of motoring, special rates
then a right into Finsbury station out of the rain
and the scene fades.

Mark Hurlin Shelton   London 1987.
Hank Helman Feb 2020
Karla said my highs were more dangerous
Than my lows.
When you feel like you are king of the world,
That's when you make your worst decisions, she said.

We had ordered breakfast.
Eggs in cream scrambled,
A rack of pork ribs each,
Whiskey neat,
Coffee steaming black.
Chuck Kean Oct 2020
The Night Of The Dolls

       They are creepy and so life like
Their eyes seem to follow you
You pass it off as silliness yet down
Your spine a chill passes through

You tell yourself that dolls can’t
Hurt you and you denounce your fear
But something inside still makes you
Tremble when the night grows near

Like the stories of the werewolf and
Dracula at times the Moon is full
You know deep down there’s something
About it that let’s Evil rule

You’ve heard the myths and know
Of the legend of a baby’s cry
You’ve seen the tombstones of the dead
And know a possessed doll needs no alibi

But stuff like this isn’t really real
Yet there’s still this Erie feeling
You lay down in your bed and you
See a strange shadow upon the ceiling

You’re paralyzed and you’re about to die
You’re surrounded by a hundred eyeballs
And you realize the stories were true
And this is the night of the dolls

Written By:Charles Kean
Copyright © 10/16/2020
All rights reserved
Dedicated to my niece Karla
Who once stated that dolls
Creep her out.
Karla Salazar May 24
Well yes... I made it to the other side of May.
Sitting here, meditating.
Scrolling through my photos, trying to find where I was in 2024, on a birthday.
No photos. No trace of that day.
My phone holds no memory... yet I'm sure they exist, on a phone far away from me
Out of my reach.

But with tired, heavy eyes, I pause and travel inward, into my memories.
An archived event in my mind.
The truth is, I don’t really know what I did on May 13th, 2024.

I must make a decision, sitting here in my living room,
a candle burning to my left, background music, something Stacks
And my lips were slightly pursed, trying to shape the next word.
Squeezing emotions into words... a quiet release.

My birthday is tomorrow.
I just asked my mom what time I was born.
You know, she always loves to revisit that story:
— "You were big, chubby, and so beautiful... it was so hard for you to get yourself out!"
One of those stories moms repeat, and we say:
— "Here she goes again, I know it already, Mom."

But yes... that's life.
A 2024 full of life — and farewells.
Maybe that's how it is: they said goodbye to me.
Raw and almost poetic, what I went through in every fiber of my being.

The only way I can put it into human words is this:
All I wanted, with every part of my soul, was to go back to my mother’s womb.
And I wasn’t sure I ever wanted to come out again.
I didn’t even think about it.

One year ago, I sat so close to my mom, I dreamed I’d wake up there, safe and pain-free.
Her warm hand would simply say:
— “I love you, my love. I’m here.”
And she really was.

One year later, sitting here thinking of her, I just want to say:
Thank you, Mom. I love you.

Now a song named -Maca- plays, and my head starts to sway,
with more rhythm, more longing.
More desire to radiate from the center of my own light.
And I wonder: where is that?

Well, I can tell you—I don’t care.
I just know it exists.
I’ve built it.

Fire that burns me.
Fire, I keep alive.
Not everything needs to make sense.
Not everything needs to be perfect.
Love. Peace. A clean conscience.

Tomorrow is my birthday.
Thinking of it, sitting on this beige, not red carpet.
My eyes want to cry.
I pause my writing because I don’t know what else to say.

My art wraps me like a warm blanket,
full of emotions and words that maybe no one will ever read.

But they’re being written by the 2024 warrior.
The one who rose after being hurt.

They call her a bully now.
I call her a warrior.

I see her as beautiful and strong.
I feel unstoppable and wild-hearted.
I am free.

Another year begins, and I’ll live it in freedom.
And this year, I will never wait again.

I will simply be.
Exist.
Feel.
See.
Taste.

I hold my hands under my gaze... and I see myself.
I see myself through my honest eyes.
The wind feels clear.
The music is soft.
Hazy horizon.

My favorite word in English:
Horizon.

With love, Ka.

Karla writes.
Nonsense

One bad thought won’t crush another,
One “first try” won't doom your brother —
No, they plant their filth with cunning,
That's how Reason takes a gunning.

Welcome, school. Then college, please —
Chains of lies from soulless fleas.
Monsters shake your soul to dust.
Every hardship? Man-made rust.

Genocide walks arm in arm
With the system — that's the charm.
**** and fascists call the shots.
Bow to them — you're lower than rot.



---------------------



Descent into Savagery

Our folk keep sinking, going wild —
No will, no thought, no inner child.
Mass dementia — epidemic.
The state of things? Flat-out systemic.

We’re in the Madhouse, that’s our fate.
Where beasts and **** disseminate
A global lie with steady grin —
All else is fiction. Rot within.



---------------------



So-Called "Fourth Estate"

“Fourth Estate”? Just greasy fiction —
Real power hides in mass affliction.
The beasts are safe, you’ll never find
The ******* spawn of Dark behind.

Politics? A circus act,
While zombotubes distort the facts.
The sick agenda’s pushed with pride —
Their war-cry branded: CowID.

War games? As easy as a ****
For mutant freaks — they thrive on this.
No stunt too vile, no lie too grand —
They’re trained to trick, deceive, command.

These swine lie loud, without regret,
And herd the sheep into the net.
Three layers deep, their lies unfold —
The goat leads sheep to death, so bold.

He calls it "duty", "war", "construction" —
Just names for mass self-destruction.
If souls in sheep are long since dead —
The whole dumb herd is easy-led.



---------------------



Humusism
(or: The Cult of "Care")

A misanthrope won’t fake delight —
He smacks you with the truth outright.
But "humanists" will dig your grave
With smiles — like microbes well-behaved,

Breeding in their Petri dish.
The misanthrope may seethe and hiss,
But he won’t “heal” or preach or lie,
He won’t torment your soul with cries.

The ones who “heal” — they poison deep.
They build a cage where none can weep.
And all the idiots cheer with pride:
Their "care" just tripled. More to hide.



---------------------



Sheer Nonsense

Hordes of halfwits spew their trash,
Drowning minds in noisy clash.
Souls are crushed beneath their load —
Truth is rare on this broad road.

Smart ones? Few. They stay unseen.
Loudest liars fill the screen.
Trolls and schizos, frauds and freaks —
They pollute all online peaks.

Wisdom’s quiet, sharp, and clear —
But no one wants it anywhere.
They crave nonsense, bold and loud —
That’s what pleases the dumbest crowd.



---------------------



The Zombotube

Blue screen’s a trough
Of shameless lies and slough.
The sheep all drink their fill,
Glug down the poison still.

The whole “nation” penned and trapped,
This world’s a farm, all mapped.
One law rules all the same —
Be the FIRST sheep in the game.

Be the first sheep, get your prize —
Better swill before your eyes.
Blue screen glows bright and mean —
Only fools deserve this scene.



---------------------



Petty “Paradise”

Folly thrives in petty spite,
The core of slaves who lose their fight.
Like Titans, they bear on their backs
A monstrous lie—its crushing facts.

The master spreads the deepest dread,
Fear him—bite your neighbors instead.
There’s nothing left untouched, betrayed,
No truth that hasn’t been waylaid.

So gnaw your way through all you see,
Petty slave, take out on the free.
Eat, breed, and hoard your worthless heap—
Lies dress up slavery as sweet.



---------------------



Phantasmagorias

Karla Marla, Engel’s kin,
With their cash, this madhouse spin
As a cold, relentless beast —
Monsters shaping man, at least.

They claim the only force is might —
Production’s power, black and white.
Fools embraced this twisted tale,
Many lost, their spirits pale.

Forget all else — revere the Soul.
To selling snakes, assign their hole —
In cesspools deep, where **** belong.
We’re not dough to mold their throng.

Hear your Soul, and cast off chains,
See this Hell through different veins.
We’re in Hell, and all the lies —
Are beasts’ phantasms in disguise.

They **** the mind, enforce the cage,
Their rule is foul, a filthy stage.



---------------------



The Last Zombobuster

Rise up, Zombie, wake and fight!
March on humans — bring the light!
Push ahead, no time to stall —
Joy awaits to crush them all.

Few remain, the end is near:
Zombo-paradise is here.
Strain your strength, erase their trace —
They’ll be gone without a face.

Off the planet — beasts must fall.
The order’s clear: destroy them all.
The ****** fool will take our place —
A cursed shadow on this race.



---------------------



Flight

To fly through fog without a guide,
Relying only on your stride.
Crash into cliffs or hills you might—
But freedom’s love makes that alright.

You risk much more with every try,
Yet death is better than to die
A slow decay in silent chains.
Intuition sharpens—gains

Its edge amid the soaring flight.
To live is only in this height.
All else is falsehood, shame, and gloom.
At journey’s end, you may resume—

Escape the vile, imprisoned ground,
A shameful cage where fools are bound.
So fly, ascend, into the light—
Only thus can you beat the Night.



---------------------



Hybrid Fascism

From Flycrap Town to Darkcockroach,
New Sarai, Europe — all encroach.
Under fascist filth they drown —
This whole **** world’s about to drown.

Fools and traitors, dumb and lost,
Brains depleted, paying cost.
Once so small, the mind’s supply —
Now just rot that multiplies.

Satan’s seedlings rise in rows,
Shameful fascism’s dog still grows.
Flycrap Town and Cockroach Swarm,
All consumed by falsehood’s storm.

They’ll be crushed by newest lies —
Hybrid lies that blind the eyes.



---------------------



Hybrid Fascism

Flycrap, Cockroach, filth and ****,
World’s on fire — fascists drum.
Fools and traitors sold their brains,
Rot and lies run in their veins.

Satan’s spawn in every crack,
Hybrid lies will crack their back.



---------------------



Hybrid Fascism

Flycrap, Cockroach, world’s a pit,
Fascist **** — we’ll never quit.
Brains are dead, fools march in line,
Rot and lies — their last decline.

Satan’s seed? We burn, we break!
Hybrid lies — the world will shake!



---------------------



Hybrid Fascism

Flycrap cesspit, Cockroach hive,
Fascist beasts still snarl and thrive.
Fools are brain-dead, sold their soul,
Rotting lies have seized control.

Satan’s spawn? We scorch, we maim!
Hybrid lies — burn in the flame!



---------------------



Hybrid Fascism — Inferno Call

Flycrap cesspit, Cockroach hive,
Fascist beasts still snarl and thrive.
Fools gone brain-dead, sold their soul,
Rotting lies have seized control.

Satan’s spawn in shadows creep,
Feeding lies, they sow and reap.
But we burn through night and flame —
Hybrid lies won’t stake their claim!



---------------------



Love and Passion

Love and passion — dull and hollow song,
When Creativity feels gone too long.
You plunge into this bland, gray sphere,
No distant Star to draw you near.

The Don Quixote, tragic, weak,
A poser mad and far from sleek...
For beasts like him, such days are bright —
Pitiful, alone in endless night.

True strength’s found where wise unite,
There real men stand in honor’s light.
Beloved there, a woman’s grace —
A mother’s heart, a warrior’s face.

But dreams, oh dreams — away, depart!
The Tempter’s poisoned every heart.
Eternal Night has sealed the day,
And stolen all the light away.



---------------------



Dolls and Psychos

Puppeteers pull strings and lead,
While the dolls go wild with speed.
Breaking free, they dance and stray,
Losing all their scripted way.

If they stray too far, replace—
Others take their puppets’ place.
Dolls still spin their endless dance,
Trust them? You’ve lost your chance.

Only doubt within the play
Keeps the mind from going stray.
Else you’re caught, a stubborn pawn,
In their game till hope is gone.



---------------------



Dolls and Psychos

Puppets dance, the masters grin,
Break the strings — they pull you in.
Trust the show? You’re cracked, insane.
Doubt alone can break the chain.



---------------------



Dolls and Psychos

Masters pull — puppets crawl,
Break their strings? You’ll take the fall.
Trust the lie — you’ve lost your mind.
Doubt’s the blade that frees mankind.



---------------------



Pathos

Piff-paff — that’s old news.
Piff-pathos better fuels.
“Our side wins everywhere” — they shout,
But the snout devours all about —
Darker than a stormy cloud,
Fascist **** in triumph proud.



---------------------



The Wave

A wave without a breaker’s shield—
What joy can such a crashfield yield?
Like a gang without a sawed-off gun,
The only rule: chaos won.

You cannot ride the wave’s full might
Unless you catch it in the light,
Near shore where depths are shallow, sure—
Where strength is pure, and less obscure.

But people? Shallow, blocked, and foul,
Obstacles and rot that howl.
Nasty spawn just feed them lies,
Dressed as breakers in disguise.

A scoundrel plays the breaker’s part,
While Satan holds the breaker’s heart.
Seek waves beyond the sheltered bay—
Or trapped you’ll waste your life away.



---------------------



Creature

Once a Being, strong and true —
Now a coward through and through.
Hard to scare back in the day —
Now they **** with fear’s decay.

All the fault lies deep in Soul —
Drowned in lies, it lost control.
Shed the falsehood, fight the pain,
Or you’ll become the goat’s domain.



---------------------



Consumblody

You consume — and they consume you!
A twisted world, upside-down view.
Beasts impose what seems mere whim,
But it’s the poison, dark and grim.

“Care” and “blessings” — empty lies,
You pay thrice over in disguise.
For every trash, each little treat,
Your soul’s gnawed by enemy’s teeth.



---------------------



The Zombotube

Not just a screen — a mind’s descend,
A valve that pushes thoughts to end.
The sheep who heed its every whim
Will serve the darkest law, so grim.

Here governments are just a mask,
The zombotube controls the task.
It drowns the sheep in stale decay,
Drives herds to slaughter every day.

New gates, free cheese — a deadly lure,
A global camp built to ensure
That “healing” sheep’s a poison deep.
If you still watch — your mind will sleep.

It turns you into nothing, cold —
A hollow shell, obedient, sold.



---------------------



Dreams and Splinters

Roses, tears, and dreams — all lies,
But splinters hurt — that’s no disguise.
Here’s the truth, both sharp and cold:
Tails grow long from nonsense told.

A tail now grows without delay,
Followed by fur thick in array.
It starts with fools who blindly trust,
Believing lies that breed their dust.

The **** prepares a brutal fate,
With brazen lies to execute hate.



---------------------



Incense

Burning incense
For wretched beasts,
Who pose as leaders
With empty feasts?
The world is full
Of fools and grime —
Sworn to serve
Darkness in time.

To seek some joy
In filth and pain,
To bow to ****
In slavish chain,
Lost all of higher things,
With broken minds,
Clutching vile mirages —
Lies through endless times.



---------------------



Evil, Blue, and Golden...

Even screens glow blue and bright,
Filled with “golden” shining light—
Super-useful gear and treats,
All the lies their ads repeat.
A kingdom made of foul deceit.

There the sheep will find the gate,
So “brand new” — but only fate
Keeps the fools from marching in,
Into this new paradise of sin.
One tale ends, another’s grin.

Endless cycle, mind’s decay,
Killed by filth along the way.
The swift result — a soulless brood,
Only soulless feed on crude.



---------------------



The *** and the Perks

A poet’s ***,
A wise man’s box —
Supposed to help,
But spews the shocks.
Looks like you’ve drunk too deep,
Only Evil holds the keep...
If you live — you’ve lost the fight,
Decay will drag you into night.



---------------------



A Barrel of Sky and Spoon of Ego

A barrel of sky,
A spoon of ego —
What you get is nothing but woe.
To hell with lies,
To demons’ ease —
Only mindfulness can bring you peace!
Ego fouls
Without remorse,
Even Heaven —
Be wise, of course,
Or else you’ll be
A vile disgrace,
Till time runs out
And ends the race.



---------------------



Brave Souls or Scoundrels?

Once brave souls snap like sticks,
No patience, just sly tricks.
Their hearts are foul, no grace—
No goal, just ego’s race.

It happens all too fast,
When “I” defeats at last.
You fall down deep and blind,
If reason’s left behind.

But if you heed your mind—
Your soul and heart aligned—
You’ll dodge the wicked lies,
The madhouse in disguise.



---------------------



Bright Faith in Global Fascism

I believe, I truly do,
That fascism watches through.
I open doors with pride —
Only fools will run and hide.

I know I’ll be cared for well,
Surrounded by their spell.
Get lost, you idiots — beware!
Don’t believe? Then stay out there!



---------------------



Fools and Fleas

Being a fool’s not bad at all —
Even fleas can make you fall,
Lefties skilled to take their toll,
On that market, dark and full.

Plenty craftsmen crowd the place,
Clients lost without a trace.
Soulless many—beware, stay clear:
No spark of God? That’s rot, my dear.

To cheat all fools — become the chief...
They’re like fleas, in stench and grief.
Fascist filth that’s foul and mean,
A world that’s rotten, sick, and lean.



---------------------



Samsarababa

Samsara-baba —
Like a toad, not queen,
Too wrathful, self-absorbed,
No happy scene.

With her, no joy you’ll find,
Indulge her will —
Your Spirit’s killed.
She strives to bend,
To break your mind,
Reject that filth,
Darkness designed
To crush the soul through daily grind.

Forgotten Spirit means no love
Can bloom within the home above.
The end is woman’s spite and hell —
A family cursed, a living cell.
You’re just a pest within that pit,
Her sting’s no bee’s — it hardens it.

Dreams turn wild — the mind derails,
Spirit’s core and creative tales.
Without them, you become the thrall
Of darkness, family, and all.

Remember this not with your head,
But heart instead. Your song’s not dead,
Unless you dwell in couch-bound hell,
Where rot and wounds and madness dwell.

Leave the madhouse — let it rage!
It’s demon’s work, a cursed stage.
Evil triumphs all around,
Fatal truth in every sound.

Except the Spirit’s shining light,
The source of all creative might.
Others are just empty hearsay.
Ignite your soul, burn bright today!

Create — if mind’s not dull and blind.
Let passion guide your will and mind.



---------------------



Samsarababa

Samsara-baba, wrathful toad,
No queen of peace, but poison’s code.
Bend her will — you lose your soul,
Break the chains, regain control!

Darkness schemes through daily grind,
Kills the Spirit, blinds the mind.
Leave the hell, ignite your spark,
Shine your light into the dark!

Create with fire, break the lies,
Only Spirit never dies!



---------------------



Madness

Replacing madness
With madness — mind’s way,
If you honor
This realm every day.
The soul knows truth
Direct and clear,
Mind obeys it —
Then shadows appear.

You’ll glimpse the world’s core
By trying to see,
But forcing the mind
Just breeds insanity.

You’ll be conscious
If Spirit’s your king.
Madness tortures —
The fiend rules this thing.

Only intuition
Will lead your mind
To clarity’s light.
Secret tradition won’t lie.



---------------------



Super-Efforts

The impossible becomes the true,
The possible’s just worthless goo.
Ride the hardest, climb the steep,
And all your doubts will cease to creep.

Fears will fade, madness depart,
Ego shrinks, a broken part.
Super-tasks and super-strides —
The path where only few reside.

Impossible — the Spirit’s core,
The possible — a living war.
Shed the lies, the filth, the noise,
Or stay a worm among the toys.



---------------------



Super-Efforts

Impossible’s the Spirit’s way,
Possible’s just led astray.
Push beyond, defy the odds,
Or stay crushed beneath the gods.



---------------------



Freaks Without Freedom

Without freedom,
Only freaks are born.
Humans—shame, nature’s scorn.
All our ills, artificial seed,
Satan’s legacy, dark breed.

Inhuman fiends hold every throne,
“They’ll be last, the first are shown...”
Believe those beasts? You’re lost, condemned.
Don’t believe—fight to the end!

Though chances thin, the fools surround,
And everywhere, wild madness sounds.



---------------------



Freaks Without Freedom

No freedom spawns just freaks and shame,
Nature’s curse, a broken game.
Fiends rule dark with lies that bind —
Fight, don’t bow, or lose your mind!



---------------------



Freaks Without Freedom

No freedom breeds pure freaks and ****,
Nature’s shame, the devil’s drum.
Fiends hold power, lies their sword —
Fight or rot, you’ve lost the war.



---------------------



Freaks Without Freedom

No freedom spawns a twisted breed,
Filthy freaks, disease and greed.
Dark fiends rule with venomed lies,
Fight or rot — no compromise.

— The End —