to willingly listen to some russian punk...
they call themselves:
Sierpień - well... Sierpien -
нь is floating around somewhere -
august... август....
perhaps the ****** word "rhymes"
with sierp (i młot) - sickle and hammer...
pień? trunk - stump of wood...
etymological fascination...
august where no emperor augustus
ever stood... unless a Kaцпer...
sier(p) - sickle
(p)ień - stump of a freshly cut tree:
or trunk...
hence the birth of a name
of a month: harvest the trees...
and we are talking about a russian
post-punk goth-punk band...
almost more congested and less
atmospheric the cure...
old kaц the hangover comes in and
says something with a mirror
and fog...
but i'm sure... living under the much
despised (ras)Putin regime would
never give you such music...
look at the people of the...
look at the free peoples of the western /
hinterlands!
no... thank god the view count is only...
what? 3,880 views...
it's an oyster affair...
Sierpien - Cмeрдит дo caмых звeзд (2016)...
people can still produce art of this sort?
is a (ras)Putin required? really?
democracy per se...
power-struggles from among
the populace...
ever hear the petitions of schizophrenics
in the western lands?
a holy grail status for some...
the "nuanced" *****...
or bilingual...
but this album current saved me from
a despair... a friday night is happening
somewhere... and i'm more than happy
to not be there...
i don't even know what's popular
in terms of music in the hinterlands...
the bellybutton of the world: London...
doesn't exactly spew out pointers
to digest what's new and pop with
the crowd...
how long did it take me to hear about
psy's gangnam style?
a good half a year... but then it was already
playing on repeat...
perhaps not in a way that...
once upon a time... Microsoft wanted
to use R.EM.'s it's the end of the world
(and i'm feeling fine) for an advert...
and R.E.M. refused...
i can't exactly see any use of an advert...
but for the past decade...
perhaps... the outliers of dubstep:
distance, vex'd... burial...
10 years have passed and i don't even
know what music people listen to...
like i said... i'm listening to something...
only about 4K people also listen...
notably in Russia...
i'll translate...
śmierdzić do samych zwezd... gwiazd...
smerdit do samych zwezd...
10 or so years later i'm at this point...
there's no need to invoke Ms. Cмeрц
but it almost never figured for me...
ц somehow borrows from щ...
that's of course ч is related to ш...
to stink of **** up to the stars...
that's how the album name,
"sort-of" translates itself...
in the past 10 years...
this is probably the sort of music i should
be listening to...
i would somehow abhor myself
being the fully integrated western mongrel...
allowing my soul to die and
this language to dictate the fashionista
dictums "from above"... like a good puppy...
origins mostly focusing on...
Lebanon... the old Raj...
i honestly did think that: the de factor default
implication of the word: integration was
to speak the language...
this is not the great h'america where
you'd call it an alliance to a patriotism...
this is england... where people are not
exactly responsive to the word patriotinism...
and whenever it is used...
it's the ugly word nationalism...
so... this is not an extension of thinking
that can be "accomplished" akin to somewhere
in h'america...
this is england talking to itself in me...
or rather... me... looking at england and trying
to find the sort of footing for a tango...
born 4 hours shy of warsaw doesn't help,
either...
still... as names go...
no one was a cooler name for their capital...
come on... war-saw...
beats washington d.c. -
but... loon'don... that's mighty close...
all the democratic arguments aside...
i'm listening to these political commentators...
and i'm wondering...
what sort of music are they listening to?
i'm still looking for a playlist
i inherited that included bands like...
it's dire to even begin to name them...
the best i found are still...
demdyke stare... and that's not really
being pretentious... vomito *****...
but "once upon a time" music could make
a man stay up into the stillness of the night,
far beyond the night,
he might have sometimes glimpsed
a new unfolding as he would go to bed
from the graveyard shift with
some neglected words being seized...
i've just skimmed through u.k. top 40 chart...
i can't relate...
i can understand just having the vote...
but to have the vote...
and be left... in this barrage of...
i understand that man is a political animal
and somehow social...
but a vote is enough...
no wonder good culture hasn't "happened"
in the past 10 years...
i don't like being informed of culture
via the prism of: it's all or not political...
i don't like being
polarised i don't like being politicised...
all i have is one vote...
and i'm nearing 34 and seeing how...
since i haven't already used it...
it's pretty much a redundant affair...
as long as the status quo is there...
as long as there's a status quo...
and there's the shady bureaucracy cushioning...
but how can one expect to find
a tartar stake of sustenance...
when everything resembles an english
sunday roast: with the beef being over-cooked
over, way over well-done?
the meat is butchered twice...
once as the cow... second time as a piece of roast!
i'm not fond of criticism...
bad... i know as a foreigner but also as
a citizen... only the pakistani grooming gangs
are sacred cows in this, this whittle english...
past allegience to soviet russia?
because, what? russian post-punk takes
my fancy...
one! one benefit of a doubt...
justin bieber's jazzy interlude in:
love yourself... and that's it...
i decided for the: leave me alone button...
and for all the vitality of the western ways
i'm left either the window-licker prized oscar
nominee or some lethargic melancholy prone:
a decade on and a decade without
the better part of me...
i somehow own about 10 pairs of shoes
but every time i only walk in single pair...
until they are worn,
until i can almost imitate:
no borrow metaphor from the african
continent... my second mother siberia...
and the indo-europeans and whatever tag!
tag it necessary! caucasian and la la land...
this was political... before it even started...
even whether there was a demand for my vote...
the tide came, the tide went,
i wasn't given so much as a sniff of civil rights...
my civil rights had to be political rights:
in a redundant format best described:
as a vote... opinions first, vote later...
by then the vote is already a confirmation
of how many more ***** will sink
to this level of: humpty-dumpty...
a culture can thrive when power is clarified...
there's no culture when the only
despotism is the finding the lost
in the labyrinth of bureaucracy...
since i base my focus via Kant... yes...
these are idealistic words...
because idealism is - the already focused on
status quo... and again...
the status quo... perhaps even stasis qua!
- but i'm not listening to current music...
from a "certain" place that once could
salvage the rest of the world of bodies
with its beacon of soul...
not "current" as in: where meat is more mince
than steak...
it's all fine and dandy...
to have the provisions at your disposal...
but you can't expect an annual supply of carrots...
or meat... to feed the mouth that neither
opens, nor bites, nor chews,
nor swollows, not ******* saliva
for the premature process of digestion...
you can't expect this most perfect supply & demand...
something has to be missing for
the soul to have... the realism of the fact
i am bound to a robotic / unconscious body...
what conscious decision do i have...
over the already calibrated heart?
the delusion that the brain... is somehow...
freed from what?
psychological metaphysics?!
i have an automated digestive system...
and an automated ****...
i don't exactly know when i'm going to ****...
but i do **** - and with so much pleasure so...
that i would forgo all homosexual exfoliations
for the mere pleasure of...
easing a **** out of that ******* bang hole...
than allowing a vaselined cockrel in...
quiet a disgust pecker of high ambitions...
when it comes to enjoying
massaging the prostate muscle when sitting
on the throne of thrones...
i am trapped in an automated body!
the only aspect of me agreeing to evolutionary
biology is to invoke the soul...
as something ex "nihil" in coprus...
from "nothing" in body (intact)...
hello intellectual safari of the thesaurus
and the synonym chasers...
from under the Iron Curtain...
once more... thrown under the Silicon Curtain...
but there is something in me that
allows me to escape the already well oiled,
this well calibrated body... shy of being
merely treated as baggage...
there's something that allows me to restrict...
when i will **** out a full bladder...
from time to time...
but this is still oh so mechanical...
the fickle nature of man's own self interests:
the only mirror i could find
to compensate the complexity
of deus ex machina...
i'll last 10 minutes with a swollen bladder...
until i give way...
that's when i know that i am rebelling
against the mechanical nature of this body...
- nonetheless the conversation run down
a different route...
i want to be, as i once was...
politically starved... give me the vote and lace me
with civic duties... minding culture...
don't give me this politico journo-*******...
this spare straitjacket of "opinions"...
opinions that do not hone in on a dialectic...
but a dichotomy...
while under (ras)Putin there was a resurgence
of post-punk... brutalism debauchery...
in the vest of the west...
do i really have to give gil scott heron over?
see? what power do i have?
i have.... a chance to glimpse how a culture
can thrive... musically...
no... oh no! no Vlad... you're not getting off
that easy...
Tchaikovsky - 1812 Overture...
tell me... as a cat might look you in the eyes...
and cats do... when you find it uncomfortable
to lie... a cat will look you in the eyes
when it knows the agony of you telling
the truth... too frequently...
now... tell me...
of the 1812 Overture...
how close was Tchaikovsky teasing...
plagiarising... la marseillaise?
oh i think: this close ||.
i still don't know: listening to classical music...
is supposed to make people,
"somehow" smart?!
- just like Beethoven hides / licks /
alludes to the crescendo of
ode an die freude that is to come in the 9th symphony...
lots of crashing plates and banging
templates of cooking vessels in between...
a crescendo is almost like...
but not quiet... no... it's never exactly a chorus...
but Ode an die Freude is revealed
in a subtle way somewhere in the vicinity
of the genesis of the 9th...
i'll ******* duel over this remark though...
if it takes blunt knifes and spoons...
so be it...
negate: Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture does
not allude to La Marseillaise!
*****, test me! i swear to god -
you tell me this russian кaцaп is not alluding to?
what sort of culture are to speak of,
as citizen... if we have to be...
worthwhile less the already invalid vote...
and more the sway-ghost-vote of...
ditto-heads and less and less...
i remember when i would start a conversation
with girls on the basis of: so...
what music are you into?
has... the don mclean prophesy come true?!
the only music is the democratic opera
of the inability to hush competing interests
of the less than homogenous, cerebral hive?!
wow! believe me when i state:
i would truly rather shun my state of being:
stunned!
to me... people have forlorn to "worry"
about petty, ahem... "petty" cultural worries...
this political transfusion, verbiage,
look... a broken arm of a word that used
to resemble pref-                 ending in
the loose limb that ends with 9...
scary language... informal language...
not exactly the english standard: terse /
whimsical... "way-hey-hey-ha-witty"...
hardly anecdotal: mein herr kapitan!
oh but this is certainly a cultural desert...
i'm still doing my best to shake off the 20th century...
what's it called... what's it called...
you are... ah! 20th century inheritence...
not that i'm by any measure a man
of the 20th century...
come the year 2000 i was still a mid-way
between child and man...
2020... 34... i am a 21st century man...
as i also have circa 10K of student debt to pay off...
but this is england...
a chemistry degree gets you nowhere...
i always fancied the Leibniz route...
a garbage man... perhaps "the librarian"...
the street-cleaner...
10K worth of pounds of debt...
paid? when one earns over 15K per annum...
bless ol' england... this debt will be written off
after 30 years...
i really wanted to find a job akin to being
the street-cleaner...
i wouldn't even mind... seeing as how i could
come home and write a rhythm
of a crooked guitar... perhaps doing some work
in the industrial sector...
the scottish widows' h.q. roof, near st. paul's?
i did that... well... part of the team...
industrial scale roofing...
whatever... this is not going to become
"yet another" autobiographical sketch...
a degree in chemistry led me nowhere...
some lucky fist-first-think-fewest landed
their english B.A.s and:
"the authorities" would never let them starve
having... their poo'ems better read...
oh i wish i could think without having
itchy fingertips and what words i want
to say when i however have to say the mundane
formality of the everyday...
i'm the sort of jack spicer *******...
that i cannot work with this lexicon beside
what's always greeting me with a welcome return
of surd applause...
i can't speak the everyday language
of the everyday -
even my punctuation is suspicious -
an *****-nilly I.R.A. bad device...
i can hold the hounds of bark, leash, girdle and muzzle
until they finally find the dog...
but not until i have feasted upon
the blank canvas that will never see any colour...
but this x-ray of hiding faint hues
working in the subtle grey-of-no-grey area
that comes with these words, these bones...
i have to drink...
to find these words... and an echo prior
to the cave... this being the cave after i heard
the echo... even among drunks i couldn't
speak such words, such sentences...
under them the drunks cower...
and... this is the better part of a friday night...
i best exclude myself to this page
of rummaging... because even if i drink...
i wouldn't find a conversation among the drunks
to compliment this! to compliment this
with an immediacy of a dialogue -
a shared experience...
better i write this... and wait for a delay...
better i wait for a delayed response...
in the quantum sense of:
when observed a wave... when not observed...
a particle.
science as this cohesive orthodox litany of
dogmas to undermine religion...
science is more vogue than religious dogmatism...
science is modern...
it will only and has only succumbed
to modern finicky... vogue... science is...
hardly a... blind sighted hive brain-drain focus
of the replicas and clone surds nodding...
this language... would never be spoken among
the drunks...
i hardly think it would or even does:
deserve a stage... perhaps only if i wore face paint...
if i were truly an entertainer...
but these words deserve more than a stage...
they deserve an: umbratempus...
zeitshatten... a time-shadow...
cień czasu... (время тень)..
regurgitate something to me, akin to:
T4T (oliver baez bendorf)...

see! i knew нь was floating around...
it comes... back... full circle.

A journo aware, equally at home in Palaces, Halls or the streets
Trained to vision duplicity slants and angles and know the crux
Able to see the story behind the story behind the story and more
In ethics robed proudly while mendacity and shenanigans cry shy
Show me the Dai Lama in a crack den or Bill Gates ******* in Goa

Semi demi illiterates with joined-up thinking or unthinking
Immatures lacking emotional intelligence or gainful statures
In groupthink mired settles on group delusions in vicissitudes
We're programming or flooding seeds of doubts or confusing
As if maladroit fantasies are gospels not simpletons' chicanery

Dismissives sad dolts duly outflanked and outclassed inherently
Ignoramuses crude and coarse in true form lacking introspection
Wear disgrace proudly in persistence and parade idiocy fittingly
Strength in numbers neither nullifying stupidity or indignities
Indulgent cowards and sick gate-keeps of unearned entitlements

Nonentities, rabble rousers shamed vigilantes in emotional dearth
Claiming and luxuriating in the depravities of their deficiencies
I remain what I am and no apologies necessary for august status
Your diminutive deeds merely reflects your statures and intellects
Little minds already condemn you to suicides of real aspirations



CopyrightLaurenceA6thNov2018.allrightsreserved

You claim to be a journalist.
But you've got apostrophes
where it's not needed.

Like your opinion.

cheap write *******:

i almost wish i was bitter - but as i'm ageing -
it's not so much bitterness - a woman in her 60s
will say about her son:
well he's sorted his life out,
he's in his early 30s, has a job,
a wife, two children...

this man... has "sorted" his "life"...
more like when darwinism meets
existentialism -
hardly a sorted life -
a sorted life by ape standards -
not keikegaard's standards: if any...

it's not about bitterness -
but i would be more inclined to say:
early 30s, wife, kids... mortgage...
the rollercoaster is just about to start...
the kids: oh sure... cute...
until they start having a mind
of their own...
and... they will betray the senile
old fool that will come,
eventually...
and off to broadmoor with 'im!
life sorted... when the children could
almost be treated as pets...
fine! fine...

it's not out of bitterness -
i'm thinking... more on the lines:
i'm getting my years tally too...
i'm getting used to my own "solipsistic" routines...
it's not out of bitterness:
it's out of having my own routines:
my own idiosyncracies -
that i will take two ciders for a walk
(perhaps a dog would be better) -
and my shadow -
and take two home and drink them
with a tease of brandy -
and want to get to that sweet k.o. point
come 12am so i can,
wake up: frisky and fresh like a sparrow
full of song come 8am...
well... that's me...

i can imagine how symbiosis happens when
you shackle up with someone
in your early 20s...
forget doing it in your 30s...
my ship / my train has sailed... a long time ago...
i still can't find anyone i could
speak to about philosophy -
and to be frank? i hope i never will -
not now - when i wanted to talk about it:
no one -
now it doesn't matter -
because i don't want to talk about it...
i might slide in a sly ref. to something -
but... the aspirations for conversation
on these matters are... i would just tell someone
to buy a self-help book and kindly *******...

if women: hit the wall...
i've reached my impasse -
i have dug the trench long enough - deep enough -
i can proudly say it's a labyrinth -
and i'm happy in my labyrinth -
it's not much: but it's not a cage -
and this is not some bitter me:
woe me - blah blah -
i have routines - i like to sit an extra 10
minutes on the toilet - becauase -
i'm automating a massage of my prostate...
apparently... bid on this poker being true:
the fear of over-doing it and...
haemorrhoids... the same fear associated with
sitting on cold stones for too long
(ref. lethal weapon II - sam and martin riggs
sitting at the beach)...

but this is not what i was intending to write...
i've been trying to cut down on watching youtube...
i figured... what i should have been doing
was watching an english soap-opera -
akin to eastenders - religiously -
instead - i would have, at least: plenty more ref.
points...
but as for jokes... i make the odd "mistake"...

it's always like watching a paul joseph watson video...
i'm not a fan but i'm a fan of entertainment -
i must have a really low i.q. because
i find lee evans to be a rare genius of comedy...
old school funny - the body can become
a language for comedy -
you really don't need to over-talk the jokes -
after a while intelligent stand-up monologues just
bore me: humor of the monolingual crowd -
anagrams and... too many ciphers -
nothing wrong with your base crude of:
a ****** expression, the body itself -
the language can take a break -
but i must be really stupid for liking...
universal comedy... for me lee evans is a universal
comedian...

but this one video is likewise...
blackpill jesus - the inequality of the dating market:
it's over for many men...

and i'm like: those pro-life arguments are
just starting to kick in...
no... seriously... those pro-life arguments are
starting to kick in: right about now...
what arguments?
sometime in the distant future
an untouchable ** will come into contact
with an untouchable XY example -
long may they prosper -

but all of this is like... watching delayed...
abortions... walking abortions -
by: when darwinism met feminism:
and the two -isms lived happily ever after...
some people... really don't want to be told
they'll be walking abortions:
well: quasi-abortions... the living-dead:
by all standards of darwinian selection -
again... not bitter... routine baron -
but not in a culture:
we could talk about stendhal -
but we won't...
we could talk about bukowski: of all people!
but we won't...
we could talk kabbalah and gnosticism
and the nag hammadi library...
but we won't...
we could talk about music!
but we won't...
first sucker through the floral gates
of the ******: **** first in... head last out...
but at lucifer dived head-first from
a star...
by comparative images:
caesars were born via the caesarean section...
the rest of us...
let's just say: there's no more ***** envy
after a human head starts to:
appear from a place it never should have...

my 20s are a fog...
i might remember 4 odd *****...
one picked up from a club who decided to
take a taxi with me towing but
forgot she was riding with me
and did her usual: jump from a moving car
and not paying the fare...
which i later paid...
cocoon *** under the bedsheets and:
coffee in the morning with three homosexuals...

that south african: again cocoon *** under
the bedsheets - second time lucky for her...
but... is it technically "****"...
when she wants to ******* but is somehow
not aroused and she hasn't spoken to
any ******* about using some cream
and you little richard in that sort of purse...
sandpaper friction?

the black girl at my birthday party...
the right sort of cocktails...
the right sort of music: cedric 'im' brooks...
and then... proper coccyx ramming
that left me with a plum hue tattoo
in the eden of my ***** the next morning...
finally! a black girl with an *** that allowed
her to ram her coccyx into me...

i'll miss some... other... details from elsewhere...

but of course that thai surprise...
picked her in the park...
random as any lottery jackpot...
beers on the bench... more beers at the house...
some jazz... cigarettes in the garden...
later ****** in the shed...
walked the thai surprise home...
why thai surprise?
i wasn't sure... sports bra -
transgender "issues" were only starting
to come to the fore... "4 out of 10"...
tom boy haircut...
until the hand reached into the underwear
and i found oyster...
but prior to: thai surprise...

those ***** were free...
the brothel ***** are more vivid and... well...
there was always some kissing involved...
for some reason i can remember kissing prostitutes
more than ******* them...
with the "free women of the west":
it's more about... the sort of *** that is comparible
to... when foxes in essex come and mate at
night... you forget whether you kissed...
but oh sure... ******* sure did...

it's not sad it's... visceral...
work with enough raw meat in the kitchen -
curing it - slicing it -
rubbing it with marinade -
after a while you're no longer objectifying
anything: you're being subjected to it...

but i do wonder with regards to:
some people would like to know they're walking
abortions - the abortions pandering to the pro-life
argument... otherwise the pro-life argument is
a bit like: shackling - a safety-net guarantee -
or whatever: because what's the argument when...
there's the coming dissonance
of pairing?

perhaps i haven't said this more often than
i should...
of the books i've read... mostly french and german
and scandinavian existentialism -
with a tease of russian...
darwinism and existentialism can't sleep together...
that's what i originally thought...
how can existentialism reconcile itself
with darwinism: when it can't...
darwinism is existentialism for women...
the quantity: not the quality argument / line of reasoning...

i can't reconcile myself with darwinism -
a weakness or just:
there's just too much borrowed from a plethora
of animals -
so many studies concerning apes
and **** similis -
and even the mantis -
but... the noble swan and the phenomenon
of the widow and the widower swan...

days when you could just listen to
bloodhound gang's hooray for ******* and...
also find falco... you almost desire
to walk away from the sandpit where
the children listen to nothing but
philip glass and penderecki and speak
in sudoku language...
otherwise there's missing the middle ground
and reaching for the ***** and *****
of punk and... the scent of burning leather
wrapped in a ****** of stiched together
foreskins...

and i can't imagine... but i can...
cutting someone's eyelids...
and watching them... endure the subsequent
insomnia while having to plunge their
head into water ever 10 minutes...
******* is no help...
ear: eh... cartilege -
but the eyelids... we could be rid of those:
couldn't we?

because i know the potential sleeping in me...
i decided to arrive face first and meet "him"...
just so i don't miss the jinx:
i grab my ******* with one forcep of index
and thumb of the hand...
with the other forcep i pinch
the eyelid of my left eye -
funny... the skin feels... synonymous!

no, i can't reconcile darwinism with continental
existentialism:
as i can't reconcile the former idealism
of mine - not even after a ******* -
where's jack?! where's the jack in me?
but gym and squash and rock climbing later:
i was dating a crab and scraps were
the vulture's ambrosia -

what became of aphex twin? he slowed down
and that cul de sac became...
something known as burial - album untrue...
darwinism was always going to be impossible
to reconcile with: the role of humanity
beyond - it's almost easy to transcend the pure
animalistic comparison -
there's neither fire, nor the second fire:
electricirty in the nocturnal, feral heart of
the bottomless pit of anima -
currently: curated by over-stretched facts
and sleepwalking statistics...

bound to england for the past 26 years...
the closest i came was an: encounters of the third
kind with an australian oddity...
why would i date an english girl?
i thought they were into their pakistanis?
that's a question that's not a joke...
seek and you will find: mongolian-esque
rummaging...
the tartar "heretic" of crimea...

on repeat on repeat...
climbing over a fence from a darkened park...
came across a 15 year old running to and fro...
in the days when i still owned a phone...
tried to teach her how to roll a cigarette...
cleavage more visible than her neck...
reunited her with disgruntled friend
lying face down at a bus stop...
a black cat befriended me...
and this lass was running away from me
and toward me...
she texted about 20 people with my phone
before contacting her mum and dad...
and her cabbie dad later picked the two
of them up from a bus-stop at the tesco metro...
but of course prior to she had to take
a selfie of the three of us...

in the back of my head... the silent whisper
and the prosecutor simply whispered...
why not ask her to climb over the park fence
with you... and do the nightmarish deeds justice?

in england for the past 26 years: genesis aged 8...
and, well... "no luck"...
mongol attitude no likey-likey-lucky-or-lackey...
reciprocating "hubris"...
i guess i must be lucky...
come and go ******* like a nomad...
and: should i take myself more seriously...
invoke a talk about diacritical marks:
and those non-existent in the english language...
an octopus audience: the tenticles
do not count as 8 x 1...

20s... a complete blur...
and those vivid conversations in the brothel...
when i faked a death and managed to
get my overdraft limit increased...
and spent 4 hours in that ****-warehouse...
and was asked in the "interlude"...
wouldn't you want two at the same time?
i once heard:
the world is divided into men who have
slept with two women...
and those who haven't...

i gladly declined...
with two i'd need a room of mirrors...
hungry leech eyes need mirrors...
one simply can't have the 1st person shooter
experience anymore...
one would require as many mirrors when
*******... as a woman would require toys
to ******* with...
it might as well be called:
the mirror deity that spawned narcissus -
although - the more contorted
nightmare of narcissus -
the faces riddled with onomatopoeias
rather than words -
and faces that truly deserve to hide behind
a niqab...
or if the eyes become too fungus esque...
would require the samuel beckett's not i...
mouth like an intrusive phallus metaphor
of exposure...

in the past decade: well thank god
*** never became boring, routine...
it didn't require dressing up,
using third party limbs... and pieces...
*** was scarce - therefore *** was feral -
*** was never allowed a relationship -
*** never became familiar,
*** could never become mundane words
that would allow themselves
advice from some journo agony aunt column...
*** was a rarity -
and when it wasn't... kissing became more
important... and itchy fingers that
would read in braille the earth and its contorts
of a woman's body...
there was never a whip or a gulag
of infantile barbie imaginings to rule, either...

sometimes i would indefinitely try to catch
the certain days of winter when
spring blossoms prematured with buds...
if i was lucky... the magnolia bushes would also
blush...
and i would become a dog-***** of these perfumes...
walking for miles and miles per night...

the body takes care of itself:
trouble is... the mind doesn't...
better to allow it this sort of cameo cinema -
memory is the most ideal cameo cinema -
nothing i have mentioned is par excellance -
more... on par: per view...
if memory can't become a cinema...
what's left? nostalgia of 20th century cinema?
that can only live for so long...

as a "transgender" moment...
perhaps i can compete...
willingly ingest a tapeworm embryo...
keep it for 9 months...
then... ingest some praziquantel and ****
the little ****** out...
that's... the closest i'll ever come
to uniting myself with: the female ordeal
of giving birth: imagine...
the ego coupled the delusion the size
of the universe...
i really should start looking for a tapeworm
embryo... keeping it for 9 months...
and then... hey presto!
extra-protein pasta!

otherwise: oh sure... the would-be abortions...
only learn much later...
that they are... not the pro-life argument
they heard as embryos of foetuses...
they are... much to their amusement...
the walking-abortions they were to begin with...
while the pro-life arguments sort of...
die off... when... the fully grown...
self-aware specimen is given charge...
the pro-life argument dies...
the mortgage on a engagement ring...
the shackles...
it's only a pro-life argument...
until the incel mushroom pops up...
then it's no longer a pro-life argument...
ha... delayed abortion: slackers' argumentation...
yeah but no but, oh ****...

frankenstein! it talks! it breathes!
it's immune to all those philosophical cul de sacs
of arguments!
the slow death - the lack of gene motivation
tactic to: pass...
ha... to pass...
in the vicinity of the courageous virus...
shockwave reminders of: genesis vivo...

give me the fully formed xenomorph...
but a genesis vivo: akin to the film LIFE?
wouldn't you believe it?
form... a xenomorph has a concrete form -
a rigid square is...
well... it's not an imploded square -
a hyper-geometric revision...

modern anglo-speaking world and...
milan kundera's existentialism:
i will only kiss when i close my eyes -
but nonetheless -
i will open my eyes when kissing...
because i'm bluffing...
and gambling on... the hope that...
even the sofa "architecture" of a woman's
body reclining to entertain the 300 spartans...
eyes always open...
daggers for eyes...

upon the zenith close -
i imagined myself to be more...
buck-tooth antics -
trivia and encyclopedic knowledge -
pub quizes -
*** on wisteria lane -
no mongol horde ever passed the clefts
of pickets and homebugs...
and this... grand sanity project...
people never seem to go, truly mad,
from... gossip.... glibs...
or soap-opera immoralities: of flacid oopses...
perhaps it is true:
most people never go mad...
what horrible lives they must lead...

perhaps that is very true:
so true it deserves the bells of nortre dame
to echo...
inside a can kicked down a street...
kissing a ******* is not a basic immorality...
having toy soldiers and wars of lies -
and soap opera demagogic dramaturges?
wasting other peoples time with:
there's no crease in a sunrise -
when there are no clouds to stage the subtle
detail of diluted hues of seeing:
a giraffe's belly when it's lying on
the ground?

some people never go mad...
and they do require language to be as strict as:
what's precursor formal -
dear sir / madam...
and every time they try an informal: oops...
it's never on paper...
but always in a mouth that's exploring
the fermentation process of a glass of wine...
me?
gods' **** and gods' blood...
cider / beer with a tease mrs. cognac:
that's the elevated status of whiskey via: née:
ms. amber.

could i be a father and an alcoholic?
no... ever time i tried to exfoliate my own language,
my... idiosyncracy, my solipsism,
barriers and people reaching for...
prime navel and crimson as the standard
colour for lipstick...
one can only stomach so much...
before treating oneself to a hermit's adventure...
on the odd chance... giving coordinates
of the day-to-day...

i would have died a decade prior...
if i didn't find voyeurs to look at a language...
that cannot be spoken by someone alive:
among the living... to the future dead!
i was alive once, too! to the future dead!

Today a darkling cloud flew over me, rained its rain and soaked it deep
Is half a whole better than a whole half, the very thought made me laugh
A whole half is what I seek, and today I feel so limp and weak
Never a poet or playwright of conviction, never a journo exposé of a states affliction
Slave to mammon and of convention, tired soldier of no conviction
The strings under my fingers learn so slow, my inner strengths refuse to show
Afraid to pass a properties gate, stumbling over another glass to a state
Cant quite see what you see in me, cant quite remember where I want to be
The home I try so hard to make, its walls crumbling in some silent quake
The ties that bind me to this place, the failure and the fall from a phantsied grace
Unable to walk the path I chose to take, unsure and lost with all at stake

By Darcy Prince

“I’m standing out the front of the house of the reclusive author. As you can see in the background. Fans and other journalists have gathered. It has been close to tens years since he had left his enlarge block of land. Thomas, known for his Satanic themed novels and philosophical based essays is preparing to come out and talk about his forthcoming novel.” The journalist stand for a close to five seconds and his cameraman gave him the cut signal. And the journo relaxes and turns to the front of property. Hoping his had pass enough time.

So far, nothing. Just more a growing crowd. The fans range of age, no younger than sixteen and no older than sixty-five. Some hold books in hopes for an autograph, but they won’t get a chance for one. As for the media, they’ve spreaded out and close the local police force.

Mildew dropped over the overtone farming land. With an attached string anticipation sound. Anyone in the immediate sphere, stood and looked to the front door opening and a wave of hushing complete silence fell. And Thomas gestured a hello with both hands. Than a clap of appreciation took place. Despite a vast distance to the front door and the road. Only one young person jumped the fence and did their best to run to the front door. One police office tackled them.

Days later in New York, Thomas hopped off a private plane, supplied by the publishing company. A small team of people run to Thomas on the ground. He initially signed a copy of legal documents and his assistance took him by his shirt to exit out of the airport terminal. The weather lightened and provided some heat for the east coast. It’s been years since an author had turned out enough success to become a celebrity in a landscape slowly losing interest in any literary works. Outside in the public street, a limo waited for Thomas. Sitting inside, writing notes down and ignoring the business conversations held in the limo by the publishers and PR team. Molding boredom for Thomas.

Passing a few blocks. The city had took Thomas’s attention. Lifting his head towards the driver. “Driver!” The passengers stopped talking and the driver lifted his head, giving Thomas attention without taking his eyes off from the road. “Could you pull over.”

Leaning. “Thomas, we’re too busy to play tourist.” Thomas wanted to laugh at his assistance.

“Stacey, relax. We got two days before the book tour starts.” The limo pulled over and Thomas gave a polite nod to the publishers and PR. And before anyone else made an attempt to talk to him. Thomas made his exit.

Thomas stood outside a dogmatic alluring building, unveiled in dominance and aesthetic stealing from it’s neighbours. Thomas sighs as he let his shoulders down. Nodding his head and made his way inside. The description of build will show the uselessness of words. But it can cure bloodshot eyes, minor aches and provide meaning and fulfillment for one’s life.


Humanity can create their own hell. Despite what others might say.

Thomas waits in the leaders office, with the door opened. A group of children run by. The coldness of the room gave Thomas permission to smoke and the ashtray on the desk. Thomas smokes, wanting to sleep. His cellphone continues to alarm with every text sent. Noticing some of his works mixed in with others. Thoms shakes his head.

A hand clap at the door. “Tommy, I’m glad you’re here.”

Thomas smiles and opens his arms. “Teacher, it’s good to see.” They embrace. “I’m here for my book tour, it won’t start for a couple of days. I’m hoping we can catch up.”

“Of course. One of my successful students. I’m glad you stuck with the teachings.” The teacher replied.

The sun is almost setting and the residents of the city finish their daily chores. “It’s nice to be here, the city hasn’t changed, besides it’s people.”

“That’s because of people like us. The Devil never sleeps and still holds his greatest trick. He favors you.” Teacher finishes his bourbon, crossing his legs over. Thomas expresses a slight disbelief. “Really, he does. That’s why you coming book is already been praised without a single word been read by the public. Tell, what’s this one about?”

“Two lovers. I’ve been reading too much romance.” Thomas answers.

The teacher giggles under his breath and orders another couple of drinks. “True love is always neglected. Tell me, does in in suicide?”

The simpletons of Snowdonia
declares they want to **** up his mind
put nonsense and jazzes in his head, the maggots says
now this is a journo as smart as they come in human nature
what real matured sophisticated lady would grandly declare
to a prospective suitor ' I've had loads of Indian lovers'
immediately you know this is out of order
just another junk to wrack the brain as loads of others
that the clever journo had already figured their intended planned use
laughing inwardly at simpletons trying mental manipulation
he played the fool and let dummies believe he was stupid like them
then the prime fools sought to hinge and anchor like their empty minds.
just put this with this and that with that and we have buttons and keys....what a pack of basic idiots
no point wasting time with uncouth street level numpties
we have nothing in common here, some misinformed anodynes
play Svengali of the lower class, because you live among-st them
I pulled the rag on nonsense
left eggs on their dumb faces
Surprisingly, they drosses haven't wised up yet
they still playing with themselves
still think they are controlling
still think gutter-rats and lowlifes
are Svengali and puppeteers
they know nothing of contempt
they have no self respect or self knowledge
they can't see the manupulated sheep they really are
yeah, indian lovers equals hate all indian
steal a car hate a neighbour
see black, hate black
dummies theories
as stupid as stupid gets.....

.sometimes it pays, to be a little bit paranoid, which implies: you're more attune to certain things...

currently, the parliament of england,
or should i say: the commons
is doing a staged coup to meßmeriße
any member of the public:
watching...

     all it takes is for the b.b.c. journo'
to talk to ol' Nigel...
   storm Nigel looks,
more or less: cucked...
   in the current common cipher
parlance...
         like a schoolboy...
eyes slightly watering,
    cordial,
                  very much: hush-hush...
we're about to see a very
impressive magic trick...

point being: i hope i'm wrong...
but what some call
the government,
and i started calling a brothel /
  fiasco...
    well...
          the no-deal brexit
is off the table...
       now there's a motion
  to ask for an extension...

an extension...
that will last until the 22nd of May...
remind me...
when do the european parliamentary
elections take place?
   23rd of May...
oh... i see...
   wanna see the poker card?

as much as i hate
      jacob rees-mogg
(in the sunday times interview,
he disclosed how
he can't boil an egg...
   and that's when my hatred
ends,
   and... pity begins)...
he is, in all honesty...
   the next alastair campbell...
i.e. the next spin-doctor...
i mean...
  rhetoric is one thing,
rhetoric in poetry is...
not what a rhetorician is
on the political level...

               from the interview
i just got spaghetti,
only now i'm untangling it...
basically...
if all goes to plan...
and the plan being:
    the anglo-ßaß don't want
a "soft" exit from the european
union, i.e. they don't
want the e.u.'s deal...
   a few clues about laws...
and how:
   well...
the european parliamentary
elections take place on the 23rd of May...
the proposed delay lasts until
the 22nd of May...
so... chances are...
   someone from England...
will be elected into european
parliament... there will be an MEP...
or at least...
that's the plan...
   to default on the exit from
the union, on the grounds
that the leaving party,
is still, somehow, represented
in the european parliament...

that's the plan,
   you can spot the schemers
right away...
   the tactic of stalling has paid off...
it's like i'm back in high-school...
i know the sort of people,
i used to talk to them
on the day of hanging in an essay...
they'd put it off,
2 weeks in advance,
until the last day / night...
and pull out an all-nighter...
drop caffeine pills
   and hand in a rushed essay...
but in this scenario:
it's not a grade B
     for making an exit...
but a grade A for making
    a referendum result being
revoked:
   on grounds of democratic
jurisprudence / law...

   unlike with the Irish...
this "2nd referendum" had to become
spaghetti tangled...
it had to have the language
of and for a people,
overtly sensitive,
   in their quest of being
the sole arbitrators of democracy...

so much for the argument:
well, but those unelected officials
in Brussels...
**** me! what about the elected
officials in London?!
it might be that i suffer
from myopia and i can't
the two apart...

    i hope i'm wrong...
but... when those chose the extension
date, from march 29th
to may 22nd...
   with the european elections
being staged on the 23rd of may...
you start to think:
   they're not going for
a straight-out 2nd referendum...
they need to cover it up
in an elaboration
of their Hydra...
      their bureaucratic intricacy weight...
paper trail...
   trial by paper...

where is Nigel the fire-*******?
Nigel the tornado?
   to me... he looks like he just
experienced sensual bliss
with some Dutch *******...
or maybe that's just me...
2 and a half years...
   and there was me,
thinking that only priests
                          were useless:
how many times will
you drill that metaphor
into the minds of people?
   any longer?
              the shittest magic trick
i've ever seen...
at least a magician can do
some sort of magic...
   2000 years later...
  and the wine is still wine...
and the bread is still bread...

   or at least: this is me...
having just started watching
vikings episode 1 - 4 of season 1...
listening to biodrive: psychopath...
i hope i'm wrong...
     i really really do.

Paper

They were just pieces of paper, buried under a field in Germany. What harm can bits of paper do? Nothing. It's what's typed upon them. Good job the location is secret.
The mayor of a local town looks for them. He digs up the fields. And gets death threats. Such is Himmler's legacy on these docs. Also hidden is alleged Jewish silver. Not gold?

UK investigative journo did a report; his result was nothing physical. But the letter to the mayor, hidden room in the castle and rumours were there. The new ground penetrating radar scanner was meant to be great. No go, **** rain.

Go back in the summer, find the docs and silver. Change world history. And run for your life. **** guardians safeguarding this secret will hunt you down. This generation's evil soldiers.

WW2 reaching out to touch us. Detailing more than the Final Solution.

i'm almost glad that casuality
has been replaced by
                         casualness...
       ******* well attired?
  better dress that mouth in
an iron grip...
                          grit the matter,
as long as ***** throws
d'em ******* wanna'bees...
      hell's fine me all
                       turning into
journo-trash...
                             safer to mind:
                                          tabloid.
came a carpenter and said:
this table looks crooked...
                     mind you the carpenter
didn't get "anywhere" in life...
i once met a homelessman
and you know what he said to me:
my mother told me to never lie...
i'm on the same ******* path...
   that's why i sat with him
   and exchanged a cigarette with him...
the supposed deplored
are the one who also said:
                  well, i can't exactly lie
to get a Giggs attire...
                  i love that Barbara
girl who said:
          laws are for leprechauns,
aren't they?
                           when the spice girls
come back together,
  i wonder which one will claim
to be the sinéad o'connor;
any one of them, minus the ginger *****...
i'm ha ha ready
                for a party...
it's not even out of jealous
neglect...
                 we're about to be
taught one simple lesson:
                          we are prone to break;
the "perfect" grey ones,
                              never do;
i'm actually in love with
             what actual cohesiveness actually
means...
    me, being the cheap'oh,
         trying to bypass North Korean
propaganda as a: loon-bin
stipend of making it as a tourist;
all because of a ******* harem...
    big deal... slam dunking
       with Rodger... rodger...
             ****** inked with an
aztec laughing death mask!
  you know 'im...
                  sure as **** Kim
Yoong Karate Chop knows him...
      the one who bleached huis afro...
called it curly-vanilla...
           or was that fried-vanilla?
           dunked a sputnik and said:
me, on a moon.
            rednick! you sure?
regrave!
        n'ah, can't be right...
           noah loan-v!
                               huh?
           neo-punk?
                     joakim noah simply
implies: and if jeremiah had
                  a stomach: i'd call it a whale...
23, 23, 23... manchester 7....
         google search:
chicago shaman in north korea...
prior to the algorithm result...
     dennis, *******, rodman!  
boom!
  face recognition...
a bit like me watching homeland
season 7...
   spotting
a cheap'oh alex jones version
of: where was that guy from?
who?
      jake weber!
   oh... meet joe black...
        **** knows why i was
once compared to brad pitt...
or rather: achilles...
  it seems the lasting hairline
can be really annoying...
             well... someone managed
to turn easter into
a piñata bashing christmas
party.

Got a story
about this VIP, titled
but its mostly gossip and rumours
the Sub-editor livened immediately
what are you waiting for, write it straight away
but no real facts, nothing substantiated, says I
listen says he, we're tabloids not broad sheet
not ****** Wall Street Journal, not the fricking Times

Go get me the story
write it up, give it the Joe Bloggs slant
Yeah! the Joe Bloggs slant, euphemism for commoners
in the Tabloid Journo world Joe Bloggs is our Target audience
Deep thinking or reasoning is not expected from Joe Bloggs
yet he has ideas and thoughts on everything
He loves gossip and rumours pitched at his cerebral level
the more absurd, ridiculous, embarrassing and juicy the better

Sub Editor says
Over his papers in the day, Joe Bloggs doen't want feel good news
he care little about Climate Change or the state of the Sterling
he wants to hear about who's doing who,
he wants to read about how the Movers and Shakers err and fall
he want to read about losses to rich people
and trouble and strife for the privilege
Listen this is a person that feels under the cosh most of the time
bossed about, always counting pennies
worries here, disappointment there
not particularly bright or enterprising, your bog standard
mediocre, and off course they have frustrations fed attitudes

So I wrote the story for Joe Bloggs
inventive, salacious, mind numbing exaggerations
juicy fabrications, belligerent projections and half truths wrapped
in bog standard distortions and even a fair bit of delusions
If I write David Beckham actually have three testicles
who's going to call me a liar, will DB drop his pants to prove otherwise and suing will cost him money and time
and even help sell our papers more

Man, these privileged lot are on a hiding to nothing
Joe Bloggs loves his fantasies, his escapism into the pains and sufferings of the Privilege people
He lives to poke and **** them
salivates as he tears them down in his mind
making up the craziest scenario, wishing them nothing but
outrageous fortunes
That's how he finds peace in his misfortunes, his lacks, his sad
pathetic miserable unfulfilling, disappointing lives

Yeah!....I know Joe Bloggs real well, he was not a friend of mine....