White walls.
Plenty of time,
Is what the boy thinks.
He can't swim
But he jumps in the pool
And hopes he doesn't sink.

The pool has white walls.
Blankness is what I see.
Being able to create what I want
I see things that others do not.
At least that is what I think.
To me they are ghost that haunt.

Me
I see myself
Not free
Sometimes
There are things
I cannot see.

White walls in the jail cells
But one wall is pure bars.
I am a caged beast.
Those people there
who call me friend
know me the least.

I say what I mean.
Do what I say.
As soon as I hear the beat.
I live for dreams.
The ones I cannot control.
Which is why I love to fall asleep.

On these walls I see my flaws.
My flaws create my past pain.
Looking at these walls keep me from changing.
200 years ago
I could have had it worse
And would have been slaving.

No I'm not Django
Or even Jamie Foxx.
I am more of a Jaden Smith.
Why?
Because they don't understand my drift.

But I do
That's all that really matters
Understanding self
First
Priority.

I may be jading quickly
Turning into a white wall.
Pale
Blank
Silent
Unless I express myself.

Frolicking with you on white snow
I am a little boy yeah I know
Won’t you come to my house for cocoa

Come sleighing, we’ll go together
Don’t mind the chill of the weather
We’ll get lost in the sky forever

Walking by your side I am shy
Holding of your hand we walk by
Look into my eyes i don’t know why

Starlight, the morning is waning
My love for you is fading
Reflection on white snow is jading

I’ll be waiting

the smell wafted like a dream.
charred wood and red smoke.
“benjie!” she yelled
as i ran away down the hall
raising my arm against the flickering heat.
“benjie, come back!” she pleaded. “leave him alone!”
i stopped
and coughed.
hot air rushed across my face.
hearing nothing but the roaring smoke
i froze-up --
torn for the first time
between Comfort and Knowledge.

then slowly
out of the choking haze
came a whimper
and a scrape.
and a punch shook the wall.
i peeked inside the sizzling arch.
hot pitch oozed
from an overhead beam
caught fire
and dripped tiny flamelets
onto the hardwood floor.
he was there alright.
shaking  
and sitting on the floor in the corner.
i whispered:
“what’s the matter daddy?”
he looked up
through crazed eyes of fire and hate.
“go away boy”.
then he cried
and hugged his knees.

i remember that sunset drive.
cascades of light that folded in between our hands.
and i watched you close your hands against mine.
i watched the light between our hands fade — into nothing.
pulling back was the only course i took to save us,
but you will never know that, will you?
it was on that drive did I realize...
love is such a jading feeling.

it was, as it is
like before and after
I forgot and remembered
all these big, yet little things
that we call emotions.
which made up who we were
and the lost wishes we hold
as we spiral out
— of control.
I remembered, I did...
love you most