"ikizim" poems
I had the hope of seeing you this week… in my heart I wanted to see you. But I knew you wouldn’t be there. And when I arrived there, I couldn’t feel you.
I knew you weren’t there.
The place felt empty. It felt like I didn’t have a purpose there.
I still looked for you… in every new face, there was a little flicker of hope that maybe it was you. Followed by a stab of disappointment…
I was in the city where we met in recently. Boy did that **** with my head. I was walking the street alone…drunk and high… just walking inside my feelings, when I saw you. I swear. I walked past this girl and there was no doubt in my mind it was you. None.
I lost the ability to breathe… half doubled over I spun around and circled back, in shock and disbelief. Approaching the girl, wide eyed… it clearly wasn’t you…
I’ve never been so relieved and upset at the same time. Yes, that’s a weird feeling.
I staggered back down the street. Shaking my head in disbelief… I saw you Askim. I saw you. It was beautiful. A few seconds with my Ikizim.
I had a thought today. What if I’ve seen you for the last time… what if… that’s it. What if we never feel each others vibration again.
what if…
Oct 14, 2022
Oct 14, 2022 at 8:20 AM UTC
I miss you so much Askim…
I miss your friendship most of all. I miss my Ikizim. Are we really going to go through the rest of our lives without our Ikizim? Really baby?
I know we can’t talk… I know he wouldn’t allow it. It’s pretty ****** tbh… but I respect that. **** me, I’ve caused enough tears for one lifetime. For that, I apologise.
The last thing I’ll ever do is complicate your life again. I’m just sitting here silently. This is my only outlet. So please forgive me for writing. Not that you read it anyway.
I never expected to meet Ikizim. It’s just not possible to unforget. I just can’t unforget you.
Ikizim **
May 20, 2022
May 20, 2022 at 12:55 AM UTC
I told someone about you yesterday
I told them about us.
Of the love. Of the loss. Of the pain and desolation.
I don’t talk of us lightly.
But it was the right thing to do
You see he was in the same situation
And he couldn’t see out of the hole
I’ve been there, you see
I clawed my way out without you
So I lent him my hand
Proof that loss of your ikizim isn’t a death sentence
Just a life in which you feel dead
Aug 10, 2019
Aug 10, 2019 at 7:42 AM UTC