I'm not one to cry
I'm not one to pout
But I am one to smile without any doubt
Think of it as white out over what I truly feel
Though through all this laughter it's very hard to peel
A wonderful mask to cover up the hate
All the rage held inside till this very date
So if I'm out and about and having a good time
Just know I'm actually feeling as sour as a lime
And off comes the mask in one solid ******
I throw it to the ground and smash it to dust
I can't do it anymore
I can't wear this face
All this time I've been pretending
But all in good taste
I didn't want you all to feel down
Knowing I was depressed while I'd been clowning around
Knowing that I was laughing to keep from crying
While inside I was truly dying
Whether it be my ink black heart
Or my twisted up head
Sometimes I just feel like I'd be better off dead
No more would I be a downer a frowner amongst you
While being held together by the simplest of goo
No more morbid jokes or fake smiles
No more false joy and acting like a child
The old me is gone so wave your goodbyes
I'm sorry I had been feeding you nothing but lies
But when it's over and all said and done
Maybe it's true I was having a little fun
Maybe it wasn't over compensation
But simply some emotional constipation
Maybe now I can comfortably be me
Now that my feelings are all dancing free
Now I realize that my laughter is genuine
Around all of my family and friends
So if you're happy or sad
Don't wear a face
Let it all out and your true friends will embrace
They'll help you through trouble and turmoil
To ensure that your life doesn't spoil
They want you around it's as plain as day
So don't wear that face and choose to stay

the different, the unique
the new, the antique
the fresh, the chic
the rank, the reek
the ripe, the wrong
the reader, the song
the looker, the liar
the warrior, the long
the smiler, the frowner
the right-side-up
the up-side-down
the winter, the spring
the songbirds sing
the summer, the fall
the sunsets and the gall
to say "im special"
to say "im sweet"
but i stand, say my part
bow down and take my seat

I'm so sorry if I sound like a downer

if you met me in person you'd sure be surprised

I sound very sad, but I'm just not a frowner

no one in my life who doesn't tell lies

poems and feelings not so sweet

so out on my pages, I scribble online

but promise me one day when we meet

you'll see I'm little miss sunshine

Soulless bound
Caught in the world yet still lost and found.

Lord almighty tells me not to envy
Yet still other people's high fortunes leaves my heart down and heavy.

Soulless bound.
Caught in a world of trouble.
Of a long need amongst my cries of pleas.
Tripping on missteps to fall and tumble.

With my people inside singing
I was young outside probably dreaming,
While the world was scheming
As we to find a social healing.

O'lord  that idea was so misleading.

Soudless bound
Where good trouble lies.
Amongst all the disgust I taste in the air brought forth from the thousands of flies.

In the cold corners of my heart
With the many fallen pieces from each falling apart.

Who says my creative torture couldn't be a work of art.

And my days feel longer and longer
But my own strength to make it through grows less stronger and stronger.

Upside down smiles to bare a frowner.

Where my good trouble lies I wish to be there to rest.
Say I be depressed

I know it's my fault
But hear me trying to find a way out.

Say it be
That's it's all a dream not of me.

But we,
So **** blind to see.

Smiling so bright but only on small ounces of glee.

So I ask, where good trouble lies pull me there a little closer.

Do I feel that down, probably yes but really I don't know Sir.

The clock ticks on the wall
I think back to a time when
I used to feel so small.
Back in those times
I used to let myself
get dragged down
usually only wore
creased eyebrows
and frowns.
Now I'm stronger
I can fly at times
all alone I smile
rather than cry.
Experience more
laughter than sighs.
appreciate the times
as they go by.
How did this happen
you ask curious.
I started by smiling more
stopped taking everything
so serious.
Practicing being grateful also
helped me to be kind
rather than
seeing only on my pain inside.
The hardest part was letting go
of all the Toxic people in my life
I thought I needed,
who I used to beg to stay
to the point I pleaded.
I thought I needed them
to make me whole
when loving myself
should have been the goal.
Now I'm a do-er
Not a downer
A smiler, not a frowner.
I put myself first
and practice self care
and I don't miss how I was
back then and there.

I'm on the edge of something great!