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Ary Dec 2014
When everyone's started to be an eyesore,
When everything made me swore,
Feelin' ****** wherever I go,
Should I just follow the flow?

Nothing much to be said,
I'd rather kept silent;
and let the noise stayed in my head,
No one cares,instead
being ignored is what I get.

My heart is filled with hatred,
My ego is not going to be shattered,
My voices are unheard,
Feels like to rip everyone's shirts!

I tried to calm myself down,
I repeated it for one more round
and I heard a sound
That happiness is not easily to be found.


a.b
Ria Aug 2018
Tired of the lies
Tired of the weakness I feel inside
So many years
So much time
Effort to just get fcked
Wouldn't it be my luck
Lucky enough to fall in love with my best friend
Took me three years to let you in
Didn't immediately allow the love to flow
Scared to lose a friend
But ended up gaining a lover
3 years together and you made me a mother
Beautiful daughter
Smart as fck
Then you started fcken up
The lies just to get what you want
What was the purpose
Of making me happy to play me like a game
Being in love wasn't enough in your brain
I'm tired of the mistrust and hurt
I don't think I will ever love again
But why did you do this to me , my best friend ?
Why does it feel like I belong in your arms but you hurt me and drive me insane ?
Why does it feel like regardless of all the games when we touch we are meant to stay ?
No one attracts me in any which way
But I'm letting go of all ties
I never want to get hurt with all the lies
Time heals all they tell me
All the same
How can you forget someone who impacted your life in so many dramatic ways . . .
Staying strong and never looking back cause what the heart wants hurts me real bad . .
JadedSoul Aug 2014
Where did you go?
My strong grandfather
lying dead in his coffin
still and lifeless

Once the picture of manliness
strength, masculinity and health
now a lifeless corpse

Like a human sized robot
with a miniature pilot
a pilot that simply left
and a biological suit just lies there

Unable to even open his eyes
or move a muscle

I don't understand death
I don't get what it is
The pilot leaves and goes where?

Alone in a room
with a white coffin
and my grandfather's corpse
I stand and try to get a hold on the moment

Leaving me fcked up
Searching for meaning
Standing at the coffin of my grandfather on 21 August, 2014
Angel Apr 2017
I go to the washroom to freshen up
The bar is loud
I smell something familiar
Smells like you
It smells like you
Comfort
I don't want to lose you
I'm sorry
I'm ******, I know
We're fcked
We know
Apricot Jam Jul 2016
Drunk with evening dew,
and the wind blows cold as midnight nears
the white light on the edge of our queen sized minds
and then we fcked
and his voice choked the warmth of tenderness;
in spite pursued
how far away
what they seem
when do we arrest he explosion
of which came partly disguised their own concerns.
After dinner she remained in bed sight
sought for quantities of absent lovers
upwards each prose
disclosing underneath the dawning gray
Ria Aug 2018
I agree theirs two worlds
The world you let others see
And the one you write
The shame you feel , you hide it away
The hurt and pain closed and locked up with a key
The things you feel but do not say
You eyes reveal . .
What you really feel
Glossy from so much pain
Stronger you are yet you hide behind this facade
No one can feel your pain
But through you words you let people in . .
Inside of your brain as mixxy and crazy as it is
I write and speak my mind without saying it out loud
I conceal my face feeling a disgrace
*** is she another one of those girls who got fcked over and fell on her face
Was in the top of the world and lost her grace ?
So much gossip but I can't relate
Don't want to hear anyone say my name
Close my eyes and make others looking in go away
Far away from the truth of my words
Go away from the sorrows I will say
Go away far far away . .
What will they think . .
nvinn fonia Aug 2019
theirs not much out here you get what you see  somehow that feels good that its all fcked
the black-rose May 2018
wondering why he ain't love you like you loved him,
but babygirl he never loved you, you just loved him.
you saw potential,
looks can be decieving.
you say he good but why this ***** so misleading?
all the i love you's, the future you done planned.
got you looking crazy,
you played right into his hands.
life on pause, what's the cause?
yo mind & body all fcked up,
gave birth to a baby.
tryna hold a ***** down who been acting shady.
i feel bad for you baby.
is this love?
is this what you been searching for?
you knew better, you knew whether you wanted less or more.
now you don't wanna love,
don't wanna trust,
or nothing.
heart cold as **** but all the ****** think you bluffing,
think you playing hard to get,
but you just trying hard to get
away.
you could tell 'em how you feel,
but you can't find the words to say.
see when you love someone,
when you in love so young,
that **** can change you.
when that someone didn't love you back,
that's the **** that changed you.
overtime that pain grew.
& you don't even smile the same,
**** that ***** changed you.

how you love yourself when the only person you loved don't even love you?
i hope you learn your lesson.
never put NO ONE above you.
let that ***** kiss & hug you,
fall deep into the words he say.
you ain't even realized
its just a game these ****** play,
to try to make you stay.
but babygirl he ****** up,
cause the thing that had you ****** up, got you on your **** now.
& you ain't tryna slip now,
on top & you won't get down.
forced you to pull yourself together,
& now you live like, its whatever.
& ****, you only getting better.
while he be out here looking bitter,
with some ***** that ain't 'bout nothing,
he be out here fake stuntin'
following trends,
following friends.
still the same ***** that you left there.
still try to show him better but he don't care.
cause it's money on his mind,
& weak ******* on his line.
he ain't realize,
that there's bigger **** to focus on.
nobody to paint him the bigger picture so his focus wrong.
but you fine & you know that,
so sublime & he know that.
steady wishing he could go back,
& make **** right.
but its too late.
ooou, i felt this one. s\o to all my ladies that let dat hurt goooo **'
my showers, stinging
my meals, none
my friends, equally as fcked up
my mind, hollow
my heart, beating
my purpose, lost
my scars, visceral
my will, dead
my sleep, awakening
my dreams, comforting
my reality, daunting
my life, ending.
nvinn fonia Aug 2019
i wanna b able 2 describe every fcking thing every fcking time and i feel funny that you are all so fcked
Why is that they can never seem to stay? Why is it always something wrong with me? Why is the feelings that I feel always go wrong when they're supposed to be real? Why is love so hard for me?  They leave they come and gone in a week. Is this normal tell me please because I just cant put my heart at ease.
You know catching feelings are easy. Me Loving someone it comes easy. They don't have to do much but see me. So Why can't it work out for me? You know I just cannot take it. The fake ****. The lies it's all breaking. They come and go every weekend so please tell me why won't someone come see about me. Come see about me.

Alan was my first love above it all. He had me there with him through it all. Knew if he ever needed anything I would be there but the love between us just kind of went bare.Fcked up and got pregnant and I wanted to keep it. Wanted to see the three of us just living in secret. You had other plans and they didn't include me. So why keep a baby if you didn't even love me?


You know catching feelings are easy. Me Loving someone it comes easy. They don't have to do much but see me. So Why can't it work out for me? You know I just cannot take it. The fake ****. The lies it's all breaking. They come and go every weekend so please tell me why won't someone come see about me. Come see about me.

Daylan was my next met him at a party. He called me cute and that's how it got started. We hooked up the first night and it was all great. Until he slowly started realizing I was a mistake. I started calling his phone He quit hitting me up. Had things to do...so I can shut up. Nowadays he just texts me because he just wants to fck. I know it's wrong and i know I shouldn't do it but there's something so comforting about another human.

Sean was my last and let me tell you girl. Fell head over heels I swear he was my world. Drove in his truck and he held my hand. Asked for nudes and i sent them even though I shouldn't have. I started to believe he was different because of the way that he acted. Made me feel like we could have some sort of attachment. The second we fcked is when it all went down because I can tell he just didn't want me around. Stopped answering texts don't reply to phone calls. I don't exist to you. Nope not at all.
Out of all the **** here I guess you could say I've learned three valuable lessons. 1- Don't force anyone to stay in you're life. If they wanna leave let them. It could possibly save your life. 2- Take time for yourself. Don't move on too quickly. Don't open your legs for someone that just calls you pretty. 3-Speak your mind and don't be a fool. Don't let them make excuses and let you be the fool. Whatever heartache is their you'll get through it eventually. Find someone who loves you and really fcking needs you. You'll get happiness eventually.

— The End —