Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
liz Oct 2012
I hear your larynx tremor
in the hallway;
I’ll peak through the window
mistake me for active.
the involuntary squeal
and sudden river eyes
I am Caucasian.
I blush.

so as I blot my eyes
   simultaneously submit them
and my whispers are octaves lower than usual
I will fanaticize of log cabs
and corduroy

I am not your student anymore
I have an unhealthy crush on a teacher.
I want to be unapologetic
Yet, I continue to apologize
For every difference that they see
Increases the need to compromise

From what I wear to how I sleep
Or what is deemed a healthy size
From then on, I understood
That I lived only to be described

I apologize again for my differences
Next time, I will improve my disguise
For the sake of your own comfort
I will keep putting aside mine

I look up to their condescending stares
They will never be satisfied
I escape into my solitude
I am not something for you to define

I am tired of advocating for myself
Without the support of family ties
Finding more hate in my own growth
As though I live to be ostracized

My attempts to calm my abnormalities
In order to sooth those who penalize
To make room for all of their expectations
To create another profitable merchandise

They have taught me to pursue
A personality so idealized
While they heavily persuade me
To carve a body to sexualize

Only to be rewarded with a life
Where I am only patronized
Filled with the inequalities
That are completely normalized

I retreat into my inner world
The place where I fanaticize
Of a space where I can breathe
With the encouragement to try

I am not broken, just discouraged
Of those who antagonize
Minorities and their differences
Who then live demoralized

I don't want to be given a role
With a life script to memorize
Or submit myself to a narrative
That can easily be summarized

Do not confide me to a label
Just so you can stigmatized
Those labels are not my name
I deserved to be recognized

I do not wish to be put on a pedestal
As another icon to be advertised
I only wish for your understanding
Just enough to be humanized
Lexie May 2014
The words I fanaticize falling from your lips
Small syllables raining in drips
Silent correspondence of mouth-less words
Ever present chirping of cheerful birds

Blushing cheeks of ****** roses
Statues moving stone faced poses
A fountain of watered down lies
The despair of love and betrayal in your eyes

If these lips only spoke true
Would they still belong to you
Hands so delicate around a waist
Would very quickly be replaced

Your gentle eyes a stony gaze
Another falsehood you have betrayed
A starring contest between three sinners
But there can only be two winners

A puzzlement of a blind nature
Left by a dead betrayer
The six feet of barren ground
Over head and all around

Lips preserved for deaths kiss
You had but one wish
A waterlogged fate aboard a sinking ship
A rope of faith, fate gave you a trip

The ebbing flow of ceaseless tides
Made by tears of loving brides
An isle walk to a dessert shore
Trying to find what they are looking for

Simple conundrum of upper class
The poor stare as they pass
The winds icy breath down a back
A snowy day turned chimney black

Lines of a poem soon forgotten
A single apple bit into and rotten
The sour grape in a bunch
Just one bite a single munch

Artists with no inspiration
A flower of a past reincarnation
Lost words of ancient hymns
Seeking for a riddle within

Words of soft spoken encouragement
A place you went where I was sent
A trip down memory lane
The words you speak drive me insane
Revi Abari Mar 2015
You can’t medicate me out of this hell
You can’t understand what it’s like to want to die 24 hours a day
Get in the car
Fanaticize bout crashing my car into the river
Trip on my shoe laces
Wonder if their long enough to hang myself from
Walk past a window
Wonder how far the drop is and if I could jump
Take an Advil for my headache
Stare at the bottle wondering if I should swallow them all
Walking down the stares
Wondering if I could break my head open on the wall if I go head first
Take a bath
Wondering If I could drown myself
Wiping down the table
Wondering if I should drink the cleaning solution
Making dinner
Wonder if I should use the knife to end the misery
See liquor from the corner of my eye
Wondering if I should drink it and hope it mixes with my medication
See a large drop
Inch my way towards the edge
Finally turned 18 maybe I’ll buy a gun so I can pull the trigger
No friends
Who besides my family would care if I died?
Stare at the ceiling
Go to sleep hoping you never wake up
Trying to retract the tears in my eyes before I lose my mind and start to cry
Wonder what’s holding me back
Can’t talk to anyone either they’ll call 211 or ill make them worry
Doing drugs so I can be happy for a few hours

— The End —