You can’t medicate me out of this hell
You can’t understand what it’s like to want to die 24 hours a day
Get in the car
Fanaticize bout crashing my car into the river
Trip on my shoe laces
Wonder if their long enough to hang myself from
Walk past a window
Wonder how far the drop is and if I could jump
Take an Advil for my headache
Stare at the bottle wondering if I should swallow them all
Walking down the stares
Wondering if I could break my head open on the wall if I go head first
Take a bath
Wondering If I could drown myself
Wiping down the table
Wondering if I should drink the cleaning solution
Making dinner
Wonder if I should use the knife to end the misery
See liquor from the corner of my eye
Wondering if I should drink it and hope it mixes with my medication
See a large drop
Inch my way towards the edge
Finally turned 18 maybe I’ll buy a gun so I can pull the trigger
No friends
Who besides my family would care if I died?
Stare at the ceiling
Go to sleep hoping you never wake up
Trying to retract the tears in my eyes before I lose my mind and start to cry
Wonder what’s holding me back
Can’t talk to anyone either they’ll call 211 or ill make them worry
Doing drugs so I can be happy for a few hours