There's a cup in here, my love
Filled with coffee, a secret brand
I poured my sugar, sweet enough
Then mixed with cream I have at hand

Here's the coffee now, my dear
Sip with love while it is hot
Feel the creamier blend like us
Hug and kiss are desserts you've got!

This is one of Barry Hodges' most inspired memories.

  'Twas morning time in times of yore and I, bold Barry Hodges, stood outside my store, my giant vegetables on display for all to see, when lo and behold! a luxurious limousine drew up, and from the back there emerged a gorgeous form of voluptuous statuesque feminity.
  "My God!" I cried, it is that beauteous lady from *La Dolce Vita, the wondrous Anita - and I gazed with joyous on her divine body, imagining it sprawled lasciviously in my bed, legs open as wide as a major road junction on the M1 motorway.
  "Excuse me", said she in that Italo-Swedish voice guaranteed to make any man wet himself copiously, "But I am a-lookink for a shop a-called 6B, and yet all I can-a-see is a Barry Hodges' the Master Geengrocer's, complete with a giant cucumber or two, which I 'av to say remind me of somet'ing tasty."
"Dearest lady, said I, you have come to the right place: 6B is the trading name of my sister enterprise: Barry Bodgers' Boil Bursting Beauty Bureau which is located upstairs, Barry Bodgers at your service, my dearest, most delightful Fru Ekberg."
"Shhhhhhhhh! I am een deesguise, not even dear Federico knows I am-a-here." And thus, assuring her of my utmost discretion, and forming a bond by saying that I too, the famous Geordie seducer, Barry Hodges, had indulged in a slight nomenclatural change in order to separate the two sides of my business interests, and in order to do a spot of money laundering on the side.  "But," I enquired, "How is it that you have need of the rather specialised medical services we offer, you who are so radiant and bella-bella?" She lowered her eyes seductively and promised to reveal her terrible secret.

As I ushered her up the stairs to the studio, my eyes on her ****-cheeks wiggling like two delectable beach ***** in a sack, she told me the sad tale of the immense boil which kept recurring on the middle of her back and which no amount of corrective surgery could fix.
"Aha!" I exclaimed, "Only Barry Bodgers, the world's greatest boil-sucker, can effect the cure for which you long, and I shall operate on you personally, not entrusting such a task to even the best of my boil-bursting minions." I added to myself, "Also I want to give you a good old bonking while we're at at."

Once we attained the privacy of my consulting room, I instructed her to strip off utterly so I might examine her, and I can tell you, dear reader, that her **** **** was a joy to behold. I too divested myself of my clobber, knowing that boil-******* can get a bit messy at the best of times. Jesus wept!, but the mighty boil betwixt her graceful shoulders revealed when de-plastered was a true horror, with a yellow tip as big as a Grade One Belgian Turnip. I explained that I would **** it out whilst I rogered her from the rear and that, when she felt her ****** on the way, she should scream out to that effect and I would then bite the core of the boil right out in a blaze of mutual ******* glory, before applying a dose of my exclusive Boil Preventative Cream, namely a handful of our conjoined love-juices extracted from her gaping ***** by hand a few seconds earlier.
"Yes! Yes! Yes!" screamed the Swedish bombshell and with a mighty **** like an industrial Dyson FX334 on full power, I slurped and  razor-bit the boil, bursting it asunder, smothering my eager face in blood and putrid pus, thereby causing me to blow my *** as ne'er before. The green core of the boil emerged from its fleshly cavity with a deafening plop as we came together like a nuclear blast d'amour.

O, but only then, as my seminal outpourings soaked my jim-jams, did I awaken to discover yet another nocturnal emission. And, not unexpectedly, dear Nurse Nellie, having heard my cry of ecstasy, rushed in to my bedroom, head-shaking and tut-tutting as usual, as she knelt down and licked my tum-tum dry.
"Yum, yum" she murmured in her dulcet Northumbrian tones, "Ah've looked after three generation o' Hodges laddies, and I kin tell ye, your *****'s the tastiest of them all, ye bonnie wee man."
"Better than Grandad Charlie's?"
"Why aye, mon, yours is well creamier."

Your eyes
I would compare them to oceans
But that's not even the half of your eyes
They are creamier than my morning latte
They are richer than your morning espresso
The deepest part of your eyes
Is something I could dive into
And do flips in as if I was in a swimming pool
The color of your eyes
Is of tree bark in the summer
In the most lavish of forests
Your eyelashes are butterfly wings
They flutter softer than dandelions in the breeze
They curve up towards God himself
Their beauty is incomparable to your eyes
Because they are the frame for the most magnificent
Piece of art I've ever seen
It would be unfair to you because
Your eyes
Are more than oceans.

Your petals are exposed, open
Shamelessly displayed details  
Puce-pink fades into a creamier hue
Before a vibrant sunny explosion
Splashes all over my eyes
I savour the velvety fragility
On my fingertips, as I touch you
The scent floods my nose; a lively aroma
Birds and bugs are enraptured
And I too am captured
Blooming buds and wonderful weeds
Can be small joys existence needs.

1 tablespoon of coffee for  hearts to be better.
Put sugar to make it sweeter.
For a twist, fight a little creamier .
Mix it altogether and you have forever.

The real fairy tale life

Christmas eve, cuddled up with blankets and homemade hot chocolate (it's chocolatier and creamier than normal hot chocolate) and marshmallows, with a stupid old chick-flick that you've watched every year for the last 10 years, because it's become your tradition, and then putting the kids to bed early and hiding their presents and getting everything ready for them, because even though you'll be tired all day it's worth it to see them smile.

Going to the grandparents and the in-laws on boxing day because Christmas day is your day with the family, and having fun, playing board games because you can't beat the classics, sitting down for a dinner and laughing at ****** ******* jokes.

And then when the kids fall asleep, loading them into the car and going home, ready to go back to work the next day, because you work a full time job just to support your family to make sure they're never missing anything. Only to get ready for new years eve and partying the night away with your friends before escaping to kiss at midnight...

That's the real fairy tale life, not the marrying royalty and becoming a princess but marrying the one you love and starting a family, because not everything has to be perfect, just as long as you're together

When you visit Rome, it is as if history beckons,
All other thoughts are secondary to reckon,
Stunning architecture and ruins does the mind conjure,
While being tempted to look at the bigger picture

Marble sculptures adorn numerous buildings and landmarks,
Their sheer size and natural look surely leave a mark,
Said to be influenced by the ancient Greeks,
And perfected by the Romans as seen in most tweaks

Vatican is reportedly the smallest state in the world,
Christianity hails it as the holiest place in the world,
The City's museums, chapels and gardens lend a scenic splendor,
Making it an enchanted place with little to wonder

St Peter's Basilica is one of the largest churches in the world,
It's sprawling mosaic interior and impressive art is way out of this world,
The incredible Michalengalo dome will always be entrenched in one's memory,
Climbing atop the dome for a panoramic city view is anything but dreary

St Peter's Square is the vast spectacular square in the Vatican,
It is quintessential with an opulent air that no one can question,
Majestic columns and pilasters flanking the square are an architectural marvel,
That it can hold more than a quarter million people is for the mind to unravel

The Sistine Chapel is proof of Michalengelo's transformation from sculptor to painter,
Reflected in the ceiling depicting the Book of Genesis's nine episodes as you saunter,
The gallery paintings portray detailed maps of the world in the sixteenth century,
Remaining etched in visitors' memories when leaving the Vatican eventually

The iconic Flavian Amphitheatre (Colosseum) is a major landmark in Rome,
Majestic arched entrances and thoughtfully designed seating impress as you roam,
The arena and cages where gladiators combated wild animals bring painful memories,
Of a ****** sport that people flocked to witness, as if in a reverie

Trevi fountain's theatrical architectural marvel is a sight to behold,
Little wonder that visitors come in droves with so much to be told,
Coins thrown in the water portend a return visit in Rome's favor,
Group euphoria and endless clicking of selfies are memoirs to savor

Spanish Steps is famous for its elegance and unique design,
The Barcaccia Fountain at it's base adds to the scenic outline,
People relax for hours at this traditional meeting place,
The annual summer fashion show here though, is never commonplace

Rome is no exception to Italy's famed gelato,
People slurp on cones with considerable gusto,
Gelato is creamier and denser than ice cream,
Its such subtle differences that make it a scream

Rome, as the rest of Italy, is a gourmet's delight,
Trattorias, aka informal ristorantes are a common sight,
People swarm these eateries that offer great variety for a bite,
Can there be a better way to whet one's appetite?

It is a city that is always teeming with tourists,
With a colorful spontaneity that is difficult to resist,
Brings to mind literally the phrase "All roads lead to Rome",
As memories continue to linger long after one heads back home