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Deadwood Haiku May 2015
they are hypocrite
******* and they're goin'
for our ******' nuts
Swearengen
Lee Jan 2013
Its rare that I hear
the words truly express
things that seem so truly indescribable.
How am I to describe?
How am I to relay such thoughts to men?
It's impossible to imagine the dark from the suns point of view
It would take true pride
and blistering ignorance
to see oneself in such collosal
and lonely shoes.
the first wind chill spells geese in the sky
and the squacking made me think of you
so i took out my old 30 aught 6 and fired away
they said the stuffing was bad
but that the rest was perfect
and i think about the sky blue
but for an instant splattered red during some southern migration
good god himself was once a paradox
I'm sure something that has existed forever must be bored by now
worthless ******* that he is
Does heaven really sound that good?
i want debauchery and drunken laughter
and want my heaven to run red with immortal blood testing the limits of new found power
i want to be able to keep things strait
what am i talking about again?
wait
with who?
do i know you?
can i kiss you?
are you as drunk as i am?
Am i drunk?
no
no I'm not
**** a dog
a family insult by any standard
handed down through generations
of the worthless ******* in my family
******* too
but then again they weren't
do ******* get to go to Cornell?
yes
yes they do
I am lost
or confused
do you have a map?
i need a choreographer
Google maps hasn't made it here yet
that sky is still blue
the geese blood fell to earth
good gravity
cute gravity
why does gravity get its own laws?
spoiled *******.
How does this end?
wouldn't everyone like to know
wouldn't we all like to get our one on one
with some benevolent ****** in the skies
**** him
i would
in my one on one
its a power trip thing for me
I'm not gay
where was i going?
not here.
not ******* god.
I hope gods a woman.
Impossible
a woman couldn't **** things up this bad
unless her period was in proportion to eternity.
Men have drunken periods induced by testosterone flushed brains
We are ruthless, and indolent.
I miss the sun and beaches covered in drunkenness and freedom
I'm missing something
right
reason
who?
******!
Well at least I got that over with.
Deliberately chaotic and lewd.
Deadwood Haiku Mar 2015
****** in-law *****
sent the ******' Pinkertons
shitheel *******
deadwoodhaiku.blogspot.com
Marshal Gebbie Feb 2011
It’s taken you’re fed up
With politicized debate
And the fools who do brinkmanship’s
Scared world of hate.
And the ghouls who eat babies
As pawns in their game
In their scrawny white *****’s
Sad quest for fame.

Where the sick sabre rattlers
Cavort with their ploys
Of destroying old satellites
To show off their toys.
To drape flags of challenge
With threat weave inbound
Across mantles of aspirants
Desirous to be crowned.

Intimidating tactics
From they with the gun
Against all the challengers
Emerging at run.
From China to terrorist
The gauntlet’s thrown,
You cross our line
There's no mercy shown.

And we little guys sit
In our quiet, timid way,
Whilst the gigantic ego's
Jostling holds sway.
Whilst the arrogant right
Profess to have God,
And the rest of us cower
In fear, like a dog.

And the sun comes up
With a glorious show
And the nuclear dust
In the air is aglow,
And the rich and the famous
Are dead in their beds
And the ***** and the cockroaches
Nibble their heads.

It’s all such a waste
In a terrible way
When the General’s pushed buttons
And had such a day....


Marshalg
Victoria Park Tunnel
10 February 2011
mannley collins Jul 2014
Hypocracy Mandatory.
Gullibility Mandatory.
Insensitivity Mandatory.
Obesity Mandatory.
Immaturity Mandatory.
Childishness Mandatory.
Monarchy Mandatory.
Capitalism Mandatory.
Conservatism Mandatory.
Terrorism Mandatory.
Corruption Mandatory.
Incompetence Mandatory.
Socialism Mandatory.
Dictatorship Mandatory.
Militarism Mandatory.
Liberalism Mandatory.
Bhuddism Mandatory.
Islam Mandatory.
Christianity Mandatory.
Judaism Mandatory.
Hinduism Mandatory.
Vedism Mandatory.
Hatred Mandatory.
Anarchy Mandatory.
Jealousy Mandatory.
Nationalism Mandatory.
Fascism Mandatory.
Racism Mandatory.
Lies Mandatory.
Hypocracy Mandatory.
Obesity Mandatory.
Heart Disease Mandatory.
Cancer Mandatory.
Idiocy Mandatory.
Eco-****** Mandatory.
All of us Humans.
Of all Five Colours.
Wherever we be.
Whatever we do.
However we "see" ourselves.
What do we call ourselves now?.
How about shallow nitpickers?.
Or celebrity obsessed morons?.
Or religious hypocrits?.
Or Democrats?.
Or Socialists?.
Or Revolutionaries.
Or just plain "nice folks"?.
Or supporters of oligarchy  policies?.
Or immature backpackers?.
Or government assassins of integrity?.
Or juicy *******?.
Or swift tongued ******* ticklers?.
no matter how many lie dead or injured as a result
of our obfuscation and avoidance.
As if poets have the explanation to life
except in strings of meaningless associated
but fine sounding words.
When "poets" are the voluntary slaves of Mind
and Conditioned Identity..
As if poets had the ***** to go beyond all these things.
As if .
Scrape the Moons suface and you will find a delicate Castello Blue Cream Cheese.
Do people ever truly lose there mind or were they always ******* bat **** to begin with?
I believe half this earth is run by insane people most of which have way to much power and far to little sense .

The ******* radio is a great example ever listen modern music ?
You know that **** that doesn't require any talent to preform just a record player and some half wit to rap along with so you can have a remix yes country music is vile enough let alone throw in a nerd that would **** if he got his thirty thousand dollar sneakers ***** once are made in some sweatshop for ten cents a pop yeah how ******* fashionable .

And remember when you had to play a ******* instrument to have a record out?
Yeah I'm so old fashioned I mean sure kids wear all the  shirts to half the bands I grew up with and have no ******* clue who the bands are but yes the world is stupid and you wonder why I drink.

Just like people who believe the world really gives a **** there having a bad day # who gives a **** Twitter is for stupid ***** and celebrities who have as  much depth as a public toilet but are far less clean.

People always read me and believe I am this nice easy going goofy drunken ******* who only lives to make them laugh and talk about ******* well who doesn't like ******* there awesome.

Hey Gonz do you like kids ?
No I don't !
Why ?
Cause they always annoy the **** out of me when I'm trying to sleep off a good ****** in the park really whatever happened to letting the TV raise them hey I look at me I didn't turn out so.
Umm well okay so I'm a little ****** up .

Hey do you ever get tired of being funny or find it hard to come up with new things to pick on?
Well just watch the evening news for a second and head down to the local bar or that gate of hell Wal-Mart and look at all those ******'s who believe they have to buy **** just cause its on sale yeah sure why not buy two hundred rolls of toilet paper  cause you never know when the world may end and the zombie apocalypse will begin .

Newsflash when the world does cease to exist you probably will to and when your starving to death or being burned alive I really doubt that wiping your *** is going to be your top priority .

And we already live amongst zombies   there called yuppies and those I phone twitter loving instagram ******* are ******* everywhere and driving while doing all this **** so pick your head up and watch out!!!

I recently was on a little road trip and while in Evansville Indiana as me and my head cheerleader were riding around the city late at night we were ran into by a young and brainless little **** who admitted she was texting and driving and as I sat there waiting for officer fat **** to arrive to give this cyber **** a ticket .

Yes Indiana it's slogan should be hey are you ******* lost?
Yeah I know I'm a real people person .

Anyways as I sat there viewing what looked like babe Ruth in a bullet proof vest hand out a ticket as he sweat out gravy I had to question with  fifty lares of flesh for padding was there really a need for the vest?

They say when you go insane it's hard to truly rejoin society .
But honestly after looking at half the strung out loony toon's that are considered normal why the **** would you ever care to be part of there brain dead **** storm ?

And since when did the news care what was popular on ******* You tube?

Todays top stories the worlds on the verge of self destruction, A man kidnapped a child ***** her for several years has five kids with her but later on that right now let's check out this cute cat video.
yes the worlds obsessed with ***** .
And you thought it was just me.

And why do teachers now all **** there students and where were these horney ******* when I was going to school.
Yeah having to settle for a ******* from the janitor just wasn't the same.
Although he did have a fantastic grip I'm kidding.

And why  do people even own TV's duh cause books are to much like work but hey remember to buy mine cause it has  plenty of pictures  yeah what isn't poetic about ****?

Yes I can imagine what the great writers from the past would think of the new bestsellers.

Who doesn't like books about gay *** wizards and **** vampires that glimmer in the light yeah I didn't read it duh I saw the movie *******
yeah you may laugh but whatever got my sixteen year old girlfriend in the mood was alright by me I'm  kidding again she was twenty one at the time least that's what her fake Id said.

Yeah least I'm not as bad as Micheal Jackson  cause I'm actually alive that is duh.
Yeah he didn't have issues he just a ******* amusement park in his back yard .
Me I'd prefer a ******* or maybe a mall yeah don't ask.

Common sense nowadays it makes people laugh and the key to humor is always truth people are all ****** up hell just look at me I'm truly insane I own my own bar I get paid to write I do stand up for free drinks but honestly would you really want me doing anything else?

Attention this is your captain speaking umm look I really  don't know how to put this but I forgot to gas up before we left so looks like were all going to die as we crash into the earth and burn to death.
Yeah my bad .

But hey I want to thank you all for flying delta and please remember the do not smoking light is on yeah sure your probably going to be busted into a million pieces but heaven forbid the ***** next to you catches a whiff of smoke before he dies.

Loosen the **** up cause your not going to live forever  .
People are so uptight afraid to say **** or disagree with each other cause we all need to think alike like a bunch of ******* lemmings.

I grew up around backwoods rednecks I lived in the city slept in the ******* street okay there's no difference in people except real ******* people aren't scared to **** others off they are who they are and if you like them great and if you don't then ******* life's to dam short to sweat the ******* and this high school mentality needs to truly get ****** the worlds messed up so embrace it .

Like me, Hate me at least you never have to guess what I really think .

Stay crazy kids cause the normal ***** of this life are usually  total closet freaks who **** hookers on the side and make bombs in grandmas kitchen .

It's a shame cause a good ****** is a terrible a terrible thing to waste.

Well hamsters until next time this has been your bartender for life with your friendly perverted public service announcement we now return you to your regular scheduled program right smack in the middle so you wont know what the **** happened cause we can nah nah.

And if I somehow offended you please fell free to write to.

Gonzo's complaint department in care  of .
105 It's called a ******* joke way .

Cheers Gonzo
Mateuš Conrad Sep 2017
you know about as much about copyright laws, as i do, about shoelaces; what's the word... oops?*

and what did i decide to cook today?
oh, just some hungarian goulash sauce -
extra paprika - pork -
served on a potato "pancake" -
mixed potatoes with flour, an egg,
salt & pepper, more paprika -
fried onions & bacon, and, would you
believe it? brussels pâté...
i was desperate: there was no lard
in the house...
   served on two grand leaves of
col lettuce: yummy as a sunset glazing
a hyacinth;
and no, on a flower it's called
caramelised butter effect,
   it's not actually called photosynthesis
at those moments.

i'm still bewildered by these people who
"just happen" to dictate a "reality"
by calling the dasein of events a case of:
on the internet, vs. the real world.
utterly bewildering...
no, i'm still bewildered -
let me tell you a little story...
do you know how much mail
i get through the door each year?
perhaps 4 letters...
        reality check: the b.b.c. is broke,
it's actually the broke broadcasting corporation,
the british bit flew out the window,
they're airing shows from the years
MMXV & MMXVI primarily -
oh look who's coming with the surprise -
no, it's not *pacman
: the ol' jolly roger
by the name of jimmus savillius -
****** broke the bank with his antics,
not the b.b.c. is a dog with three legs,
broke! ha ha!
             there's still something
bothering me... what part of "reality"
are these people pushing, that can't see
the duality, instead choosing a dichotomy
of the existence of the internet,
ah, either they're too young,
or the internet itself is too young,
and they haven't seen the shredder impact
of the internet on the high street...
when was i at a local high street?
honest to god, heart on my shoulder,
hand on my other heart singing the regional
anthem... can't remember...
if you only get 4 letters through the post
a year, and even less emails -
unless of course you tell people your email
address...
   either i'm the biggest loser, or the biggest
winner in this fiasco...
   i get as many emails as i get actual,
post-office letters...
    **** me, lucky you if it's a handwritten
letter, without an electronically generic
signature, you must be santa claus!
ah, pretty pretty, esp. since it was written
in green and purple crayon...
     get in there my son, you're bound
to enter the major league of *******
and *** fiddlers: just make sure you mention
the black component preference,
like, you know who.
           i can't believe they're coming for these
people, i swear to god, if someone working
class was to read the saturday or the sunday
times supplements, they'd go gargamel
bonkers... as i once explained the smurfs to
a scaffolder and his girlfriend walking
from an off-lice, as we both joked:
   she's short enough for the blue...
god, her reaction as impeccable:
heaven sent no hell apart from a woman's
fury at being either scolded or joked about;
works every time,
  so, gentlemen! can we return to our
drinking?
                  and they said in pop culture that
grief was an aphrodisiac - twice down
the shoot, thrice with the shakers as **** it is...
as it turns out so is male humour is a gemini
with grief...
     the furious vagi... and i knight her:
            n'ah...
                        i still don't get where
or when the reality check will take shape...
how much of "real" life on the internet
is not mere commentary?
... ... ... ... i'm giving you some time to answer...
whatever happened to the intricacies
of the "real" world and the internet?
what about those hacks, what about
internet banking,
   what has suddenly become so unreal
about the internet?
oh right, so we can hold a welsh f-u f-off (V)
to the publishers, and bypass their
bad taste in prose?
          thinking about it: i think it is...
oh sure, we'll earn a few collateral badges
of those who fell with weak psyches -
but to say, the most splendid, known
to man, ever imagined ******* -
well... you'd be a fool to distinguish
the internet as a wachowski construct...
listen mon, you're saving the amazon,
pixel by pixel by pixel alone...
   but you've also woken the eyes of
beelzebub -
          and the irish are pounding -
and the russians stopped drinking for a month -
and the poles decide:
it's our time to march with the gob!
i still can't believe that people can't
fathom a simple newtonian calculus
of integrating two entities -
     and making them as one -
      personally?
i'm an impatient person, or, rather:
i don't like people wrestling with me over
copyright, copy what? what?!
there's only one page on the internet
that respects copyright laws... wattpad...
no other page on the internet disallows
the ctrl c through to ctrl p...
not one... ******* if you think anything
about "copyright" laws in the 21st century...
one page, one page out of a billion,
that respects copyright, and what do they do?
they kick me off it, because in
privy i asked a girl where she was from,
to get the feel of what inspires her...
like in that film the passengers -
where the girl says: i could write all day
with a view of the chrysler building...
  well then... UP YOURS!
This city, man...
This city one BIG icepick, ya here?
Been walkin' round these streets,
trippin' these glass sheets of ice
the past SIX blocks,
*******, man?
not a single cab picks a fool up round here...
Where those bustlin' business men go, huh?
Where that friction now?
What bout those tan-legged,
princess barbies?
their DOGS in their purses,
their cellular phones chatterin' n' ****?
Where those ****** run off at?
They hot at the ***** bars now or somethin'?
HUH?
You know wha man?
**** that.
I walk this way every SINLGE morning,
twenty blocks UP,
twenty blocks the other way...
I'm walkin',
******,
and those buses and cars WAILIN' they horns,
WAILIN',
SHOUTIN' each other
the SECOND the sun starts shinin',
SHOOTIN' heat each other till' darkest of **** night...
That's what I wanna know...
Where those *******
RIGHT NOW.
Jonny Angel May 2014
Cha-*****
clink,
cha-*****
clink,
cha-*****
clink,
cha-*****
clin­k,
cha-*****
clink,
cha-*****
clink,
cha-*****
clink,
"Come get some
*******!"
Cha-*****
clink,
cha-*****
clink,
cha-*****
cl­ink,
cha-*****
clink,
cha-*****
clink,
cha-*****
clink,
cha-*****­
clink,
cha-*****
clink,
"That's right,
uh-huh"
Cha-*****
clink,
cha-*****
clink,
cha-*****
clink,­
click
thunk,
click
thunk,
"****,
a freaking jam!!!"
Vrooooop,
tap
tap
tap,
cha-*****
clink,
cha-*****
clink,
­cha-*****
clink,
cha-*****
clink,
"Wooooooooooooo,
woooooooooo"
C­ha-*****
clink,
cha-*****
clink,
cha-*****
clink,
cha-*****
clink­,
cha-*****
clink,
cha-*****
clink,
cha-*****
clink,
cha-*****
cl­ink,
"Ammo......
MORE AMMO!!!"
A thirty round magazine with one jam & one in the chamber.
Mateuš Conrad Aug 2016
well, if i found a self-administrative
anaesthetic for celestial tyrants that
are so glorified by historians over
the ages, and only dream darkness,
or dream ******* up that not even
Freud could stomach...
and i teach them how to take it to
do the opposite of what they did in life,
and leave them hungover and
slightly prone to despair, i'm sure we can
have a timetable of when they go cold
turkey, and turn into little budding Buddha...
adenosine and that acetyl thing...
or i got it completely wrong...
how else you going to keep frying
that chicken... obviously you'll have
to keep cutting corners somewhere...
obviously the little budding Buddha illuminations
everyone will resist... i mourned
the fact that a boy encouraged me to throw
a hamster off the stairs telling me: he's
wearing parachutes... i remember that
face... i remember the bloodied snout
of the hamster... makes me a Hindu then:
to have mourned the passing of a petted
animal makes you Hindu...
you can claim having converted the day
you mourned your pet cat passing...
honest to Brahman... like me an Ernest
tailing our conversation into
childless couples who don't want the
murk of a genetic Rōnin ruining
their happy abode even if nurture tries to
overcome nature... dog, man's second child
i inquired... i don't know if i was
elastic enough to call that poetic, but i added:
once you take to the trivialities
of having animals as your children
in a theatre of grievance, the little concern
the animals need, and the way that families
with children belittle the concern of people
with animals as animals making them Everest
summits... well... the joke is: the little
problems of animals dwarf the problems of life...
which is turn makes the childless couples
who have animals as incubator replacements
of pets look at child aplenty couples look a bit daft,
the equilibrium of dwarf and titan combine,
the childless couple incubates a resistance
against the titanic problems of life, or rather the world
with whether their children have autism aged 6...
well, if they don't have play-friends outside of school
where every child's imagination is on equal footing
and there are no educators present to
separate the sheaf from the staff, the wolf from the sheep...
sure... by the age of 8, a child will adamantly
become brutal in his or her individual...
the problem in england, as in America is that
children do not have outside-of-school play-friends
to relax with... it's either all school with social hierarchies,
or all familial bonding, or literally ******* it up
with Oedipus looming...
the funny bit? i remember childhood from 1990s Poland
like Ernest remembers it from, what, 1940?
HA HA HA HA... funny as ****... where's this
unconscious uncoupling then? licking the plates
like a dog starved for a month?
i love the English maxim: got to be cruel... to be kind.
no wait... he said his elder brothers
made their debut... that's the 19... 30s! god...
western Europe is Darwinism on amphetamines.
you can't get play-friends in school...
that's why we have the Cure and the Smiths song...
so much angst at the fact that no one bothered to
build close sky-rise communities...
trying to build them in the 1950s with a Colonial
past? crime... whatever else?
what with those on those estates saying:
my children too! in a semi-detached!
how they ***** Poland with Pope John II at the front...
what a bunch of scummy ratty wankers...
*******... bending the pirate ship's plank wankers...
i'd do them in Kentucky if i had my way...
apparently the recipe is out an all good for the
public eye to see... sometimes civilisation
makes you a natural cannibal by the mere thought of it...
you can't expect children in western society to
not fall suspect to some psychological malnutrition
when their only play-friends are in an institutional
environment, might as well put them in psychiatric
wards and tell them to play razor quickest to the wrist
wins! i do mean that from your neck arteries.
they don't have play-friends outside of institutions...
maybe it was the suburban labyrinths of identical
housing that mismanaged the chance interaction
of a group of children... but in 2 square miles
of where i live, i've seen more biodiversity than
i'd care to see in the Amazon rain forest.
Jonny Angel May 2015
Really.
Like opinions mean anything.
You know the ole addage,
everybody's got two things.
I remember Jimmy lying
face down
kissing the ***** flooded street,
both of his legs were missing.
It was a ****** mess.
I confess,
while he was screaming
for his Momma,
I was thinking,
what nerve,
those spoiled rotten *******.
Captured in the psych ward part 19


You see the hospital is having a hard time dealing with a mad bomber who is frightening children in the children's ward saying if the kid says no to him, he will chop their heads off and put them in the toilet and flush them down and suddenly the kids will be dead, and the male nurses despite the fact of being labeled gay and stupid, came in there saying just leave these kids alone and I promise to give you anything you want and this mad bomber said, yeah the last fucken time you quacks told me that, I ended up in prison and I have schotzpgrenia but nobody here can help me, so me and all these kids are going down with me and it was at 3-00 am in the morning and the night staff rang Ron on his home phone and said, Ron we have this little situation, mate there is this man with a bomb strapped to his chest threatening to blow up the children's ward, and we definately need you here, mate and Ron got out of bed and got into his clothes and came down and clocked in and said is the bomber still here and they said yeah and have him a needle with ****** inside to jab him with, and then he will plan to take him to the HDU and when he got their it wasn't was easy as he thought. You see the nurses were protecting the children and the doctors were trying to talk him down and when Ron came in who *** trained to deal with him said, mate, what is your problem? And the bomber said I have been sacked from all my jobs because of fighting and now i think fighting is in the blood and I am not going to better myself while ******* like you are trying to say you know my mind more than me? You see mr cooper, all you are good for is hanging with mate. You don't know my illness very well, cause if you did you would helped me by now, no Ron you can't help me, no one can and nobody ever will help me, so don't help me
Just give me what I ****** want, ok
Like a $1000 in cold hard cash and a prepaid cab waiting outside and if you don't give me that I will shoot you right through your stomach and Ron said, you can't expect us to be able to do this for you and really you shouldn't expect a free ride, free rides are only when you are 2 years old and then Ron took a risk and jabbed the ****** filled syringe into his arm and then brought the bed out and wheeled him to the HDU and they also unstrapped the bomb from him and the nurses told Ron to take the rest of the day off, cause that was a stressful situation but really Ron wasn't in the mood for carrying out his duties, at that moment at 6 am and went to frans and dans cafe and told them all about the mad bomber who was in the children's ward who he calmed with the ****** syringe and Barry said yeah, it sounds like you had an interesting morning you know getting out of bed
And being woken up are you going back, well I told them I will come back to take bill to the TAFE, cause that is simple for us to do and Ron had his bacon and eggs and coffee and went back to the HDU and took bill to TAFE and had a coffee in the TAFE canteen and when Bill's lesson was finished, they went back and Ron was given the job to talk to their mad bomber in the solitary unit in the HDU Ron found out his name was Robert stone after saying it was Jesus Christ and yeh devil and mother Theresa and finally said it was Robert stone, and then Ron said what brought you on to blow up these innocent children and Robert said, no I haven't anything against kids, I had just lost a kid in a fucken custody fight with my missus and I got a fist full of memories and she got the kids. And I am *******. And Ron said yeah you do know that these kids in the ward have done nothing to you, and Robert said, yeah I know. But everything was getting on too of me, I just wasn't thinking and the only option is to ruin another parents life. I ain't a bad person, I just want my kids back Ron
Can't you help me do that just can't you help me do that now, Ron said how about you rest and I will see what I can do for you ok, now because of what happened you won't be fit for society for a long time. So I tell you dinner is in 1 hour ok and someone will bring your nightly medication around to you ok
And then Ron left there and told the nurses to ring around for ways to grab some information on why his kids were taken away from him and
His name is Robert Stone and then Ron clocked off and went to red rooster bought takeaway and sat near the yarra river and Barry said how are you going and how is the mad bomber and Ron said he is going well, but it is conplicated and total high maintenance and really it can turn ugly if we discuss so Barry and Ron sat there not talking about the event  for 2 hours and then Barry went home and 1 hour later Ron went home and bought a 2 ltre bottle of coke and drank in front of the box and fell asleep in front


Sent from my iPhone
Deadwood Haiku Apr 2015
it's full of lyin'
thievin' ******* that you
just can't trust at all
Deadwood haiku
Keven May 2018
Just **** me already
If you hate me so much
Life seems so like...unsteady
And I'm so out of touch
I hate my whole life so bad right now
Everything seems so much worse than it should be
It's strange.
So ******* weird.
I'm 43 years old
And am still getting bullied
People are ****** up
Especially my neighbor's upstairs
They have three kids
There are three adults
And all of them live in a one bedroom apartment
There is so much ******* noise it's not even funny
No one can make that much noise on accident
I understand kids will be kids
But there's stomping on the floor done on purpose
I went to her first and asked for them to tone it down
She gave me attitude and told me she has a freakin' one year old
Then I went to the landlord and the noise got worse
I called the cops on them and the noise diffently got worse
So I have to bend over and take it up the ******* ***
Why they ******* care I'm living down here and they're trying
To get my goat and make my life miserable
But the joke is on ******* them
For the most part I look the other way
They think it really bothers me, they are mistaken
I have dealt with ******* like these throughout my life
They're not ******* happy unless they make others unhappy
They're trying to get a rise out of me and I'm through with them
They can make all the noise they want
Their not my problem. They're so ******* pathetic it's funny
Maybe they want my apartment, I don't know
Or maybe they're just so ******* miserable they can't find
Anything constructive other than causing trouble
So I say **** them. They're nothing but dooshbags
And I laugh at ******* dooshbags.
Mateuš Conrad Sep 2017
covert for: bandana, with a touch of marquis de sade's discretion, i.e.: gentlemen! let's make it clear, we're not here for the candy, for the thrill of chasing three ****-naked piglets... we're here for the oysters, for the tartar steaks... for everything that deserves the definition of: decadent! and its oozing pus filled porous rivers of, thrill: take it as you make - there will always be people, who toy with words; but at least these people are not the rigid ******* of lawmakers, who see lawmaking, who deem jurisprudence, law itself, as nothing short of a thesaurus, which is, evidently, their sacred text.

with the verse i write -
upon inspecting the "efforts"
of others -
   seems to translate into: a hospital
for anemics,
and that's very much
irritable -
    given that people take more
effort into disliking complicated
phrasing of a lack of effort
to match a deed -
      than people taking the least
amount of effort of disliking
the most complicated turn of events,
say, a ******, or a robbery...
      the perpetuated history of
the individual has always been
the dumbfounding "awe" at
the masses - without a theological zoo
to keep them less investigated
by the individual -
        i dare not turn to investigating
the universe,
     what's feeding my apprehension
is more on the plateau,
on the summary of man -
less the trigonometric tangent graph,
and more the sine / cosine variations,
and this beyond good & evil?
both graphs retain an indistinguishable
optical illusion, beginning
at the coordinate centrism of 0,
i.e. denial... most of human history
has been written upon the face of
grimacing denial, while telling a bad joke;
i still can't believe that i'm trapped
in egypt, whereby i now live in the times
where the pyramids are no longer
3 dimensional, but 2 dimensional!
pyramids unto trinities,
   the 3 posits of origin - always with the 3s!
if *daesh
could do anything useful,
they'd blow up the pyramids...
rather than buddhist monuments,
or any other babylonian feat of culture;
i still can't believe that the supposed
  "evolution" of man has stopped at
the triangle, the pyramid,
                            the, whatever.
Cedric McClester Jun 2018
By: Cedric McClester

Those heartless sons of *******
Comprised of warlocks and witches
Sitting at home with their riches
Need to be kicked in their britches
Like people who are totally unaware
They’re telling us that they really don’t care
About those children who sit and stare
Looking for parents who are not there

Those callous *******
Must think that we’re all suckers
Like the coalminers and truckers
Or the closed factories of pluckers
Deep down South in the chicken belt
Must know how those children felt
Considering the hand they were dealt
Which should make their cold hearts melt

But they’re oblivious
To their pledge, “In God we trust,”
They could care less about the rest of us
Which for the empathetic would be a must
They don’t walk in our shoes
But that’s no new news
It’s something they’d never choose
To the contrary they refuse

Those Trumpian *******
As earlier stated,” *******!”
Constantly tryin to duck us
Would like nothing better than to chuck us
But through the magic of videotape
They can try but  they won’t escape
The public’s scrutiny
It’s there for us all to see


Cedric McClester, Copyright © 2018.  All rights reserved.
Mateuš Conrad Jul 2020
does it always become a quest
to: pretend to play the violin...
when fiddling with one's beard?
esp... a best trimmed beard
self-trimmed outside of the confines
of the ottoman barber shop?

most probably...
   this self-loving of owning a beard...
all this self-loving of...
keeping a tighter trim on
the ***** region in eden...
   it's not like: i'm playing
with an advantage...
****-sure... not really...
but most certainly half the ****-envy
of a workaholic piston master
to pump pump and...
         push a ring closure on
the matter...

   it's just so easy when...
you can only tell the truth...
          
     and my mother complains...
"verbatim":
   'and how do you think i feel when
people talk about their children...
and i can't say anything about you...
and how do you think i feel when
they talk about their children
and i don't know what to say about you'...

'unless anyone asks...
and they are not inclined to talk to
me directly... tell them i exist'...

oh this sort of shame of conversation
visited the house today...
house: my prison...
2 hours pretending to be empty air
in the kitchen...
2 hours... perhaps teasing 3...
and my parents talked with
the parents of my contemporaries...

married: i don't know whether
happy... hell: i don't even know whether
left with: still interesting leftovers...
married though:
so life hijacked... moving on...
pristine relief from passing on...
                  the Dean Neil and Aaron...
and i'm like...
strapped to a corner of a kitchen
pretending to not be there...
   i sat there... looked at clouds...
the lasted long enough...
      playing rat...
        then i took out the permanent ink
felt-tip...
and drew happy faces on plum tomatoes
on cans...
and angry faces on onions
yet to be peeled...
          
   and i drew an imitation face...
on a milk bottle almost emptied and most
certainly gone south with mrs. sour...
like...
it was blur's: coffee and tv...
but... pig... sorry... big mistake...
the nose? i guess probably missing
in the original... mr. potato *******
a squiggly clean piglet...

   coffee and tv...
              take-over of guitarist singing...
the lead singer thinking of a...
    stow-away project:
                      a bit like what happened
with system of a down...

so now i know... mother calls out:
MATTHEW...
                  मआफऊ (M-A-F-U)...
terrible prank of surds...
                   perhaps add 'ebrew...
         (מַתִּתְיָהוּ)... sorry... no braille nikkud
of the ishraelites...
                    not ctrl + c / + p for...
    Larry Tesler: either...
    hidden vowels: (מתתיהו)
   except for the "unexpected" (ו)...
works fine... (מתיה) - and of course...
this is not a place for trivial matters...
kibbutz / shurek...
          the universe of yetzirah...
formation... who's inhabitants
                        are angels...
a pretty ***** antithesis angel sits
with a genius gizmo on one
of my shoulders... and a *******
devil on the other...
                    
point being: i wasn't there...
  so much for having to talk about me...
as one parent to another...
something to boast with...
something to bargain...
since... as some point...
people tend to exhaust their own...
self-orientating junctions of
webbing out...

to merely think isn't enough...
with the n.p.c. meme and what not...
res extensa matters as much...
       that i am: coming to realise...
men can fathom the rex extensa
concept more: the heliocentric model
better than women...
and their: yes yes... they can have
their res cogitans model...
but also... that geocentric model of affairs...

i'm too a hot-head and a rod...
filled with brimming emotional spaghetti...
i sometimes think: last...
2 hours in the kitchen...
drawing angry comic faces on onions
and mild neuter faces on milk bottles...
i had to...

   then i started to bewilder myself
by holding an egg in my hand...
   a chicken egg: some variation of
a philosopher's stone...
   and doodle i did... on this... favourite...
of an edible abortion...
i was so "crass" enough...
to itch... a quasi-giraffe donning...
a pseudo-shtreimel...
    and a... bloated... chess-board...
and some variation of cubism:
an imitation orb / circle...
   two lines and a line of "morse"...
and the thought...
perhaps the idea of a flat earth
is in no way an aid for...
reading a map... or g.p.s....
   but what if: the currently ascribed to...
form... is... as its orbit... oval?

petty questions: requisite of doodling:
of encompassing time as much as passing
it... since... the space i occupy will
neither spontaneously implode...
or explode: for a libra "question"
of improving my toll...
or disproving my bogus inquisitiveness...
as being... a labour of innocence /
a labour of love... a labour or...
missing the concept of serious matters:
necessarily undertaken...

oh don't mind me...
    who am i... to quest the question
of serious... study in science from
an angle of humanism...

i still think you need to keep oneself
humble.... beside copernican...
to navigate a car...
from england to poland...
via that spaghetti of towing-tie
and spaghetti of cement
surrounding Antwerp and the German
Rhine Valley precursor:
Dortmund... Essen... Duisburg...

the idea of "leveraging" truth...
no... lies... are worth leveraging...
given... fictive-esque inconsistencies...
truth is so *******...
it's... mono-dimensional:
uni-  no-no-dimensional...
         truth is a rude worth among...
peacocking liar...
hell: an ugly word...
            and hell is... never:
a "dasein"... claustro-phobe-cluster:
lost of wit and ****...
besides... the already missing...
                        ridicule...

DASEIN (there being...
there's being) - godzilla vs.:
                        JETZTSCHAUSPIEL!
now "drama": spectacle...
    
   and those... prischtine nails... d'ough done!

decipher...
             a bottle of rice wine vinegar...
yep... the chinese ideograms...

disclaimer... hello poetry doesn't allow
chinese ideograms...
to read with chinese ideograms...
see here:

     supposing i was "bored"...
"by the *****"...
and no... of course... no *****...
   best of tutti-frutti... boom-balloon...
quicksilver and...
              if i had time in a bottle...
          sweet dreams are made of these...

choke-chin-and-chew a linking
up with those 3 million hong kong lottery
winners from the...
revival of the bright-and-bored...
hemp'yre... of the broadening
the wit of a brrr brrr...

water:
      tablespoon:
               teaspoon:
     rice:
     white:
           vinegar:
              chicken?
         corn:
                sliced:
  common characters
in ingredient, marinade,
seasoning:
   sugar:

https://allpoetry.com/poem/15276526-nothing-ever-happens-to-bachelors...-by-Matthew-Conrad-a­dult

me... mandarin and myopia...
me and chinese and: best luck with a concept
of ABC...
the crude sounds... and all these...
elaborations of phonetic encoding?
these games of matchsticks...
x-rays... and chopper-chop?

pretending to cope with a psycopathic
lost pretending for lord-over "cwue"...
but these crude syllables and sounds...
and all the rest of it... being allowed to...
decipher in liquid squid amount of acid
and other... digestive monstrosities...

best no good: no good...
that's best... no good... that's best...
no good: nothing working around
shadowing inhibitions...at best:
no good... this is the only good...
my miser self in stençil... like...
Liberace's closet carnival!

ooh.... yeah!
ha ha! ******* "anonymous"... ha!

— The End —