"alotted" poems
At my high school reunion
Years from now
In the old gym
They'll ask, whatever happened to us anyway
I won't have an answer for them
It'll be a shoulder shrug
Upward palms
And a colon backslash face
They'll move on to my son
Or work
Or school
Or some distant memory which will undoubtadly begin with, "remember that time"
And most likely end with, "those were the days"
And while they move on with their conversations
I will still have a colon backslash face
And my mind will be in a completely different time machine than the prom queen and the class clown
I will
By the end of it all
Have devoted what I can only imagine to be significantly more time than alotted
Thinking about what did ever happen to us anyway
And when I go home to what I anticipate being a beautiful, intellegent, loving wife, girlfriend, fiancee thing
She will
For a moment
Or possibly two moments
Not measure up to you
And I hope she won't notice my colon backslash face
That she'll end up smiling until she falls asleep
The morning after my high school reunion
I will stand in front of my mirror
And for much longer than two moments
I will not measure up
To the man you could have made me
And I will notice
I will start by ******* in my gut
Running my hands through my hair to try and imagine myself with a different style
I will analyze my wardrobe
And half way through auditing my music collection I will fall to the floor
I will cry
And with you in the forefront of my mind
I will
In true movie scene fashion
Whisper to no one
Whatever happened to us anyway
And worse than not having an answer at the reunion
I won't have an answer for myself
In an empty living room
Because I really don't know whatever happened to us anyway
One day we were
The next day we weren't
It was so adult
I was so civil
Even our break-up will be the best I ever had
The day before my high school reunion
I will cut my hair
Trim my arm pits
And clip my beard
I will iron a suit
Pick a good tie
And I imagine
In front of a mirrror
I will
Be proud of the man I have become
In the years going forward
And leading up to that high school reunion
I will
As a matter of life's course
Have no other occasion
To ask myself
Whatever happened to us anyways
But never the less
One night
Years from now
That question
Will leave me paralyzed
Scared
Heartbroken
Lonely
And even if
I am not alone
My pillow will remember
For one night
Or maybe even two nights
How to smell like you
And my arms
If only for a half a moment
Or possibly one whole moment
Will
With no luck
Reach for you
Mar 15, 2012
Mar 15, 2012 at 6:47 PM UTC
Perhaps it is the phenomenon
of being constantly,
perfectly out of reach that
keeps me going in the mornings
when there is no glow,
& the comfort of living within
my alotted skin has vanished.
Perhaps it is the season,
these months of leaves
cascading,
that guides me,
gently,
down.
Oct 21, 2013
Oct 21, 2013 at 3:07 PM UTC
In New York there lives a man,
Who has everything.
The penthouse suite and Lamborghini.
The millions upon millions of dollars.
Enough to save the man in Syria
Starving every night as war wrecks his country.
In the twenty-four hours the day has,
One man shows compassion;
Saves the life of one who would have taken his.
The other shuts the door on the ones who love him,
Pours another drink of whiskey and ignores them.
Every day has twenty-four graciously alotted hours,
Meant for us to attempt to change the things we see.
Some people misuse it, others abuse it.
Still all the same those twenty-four hours should be used for change.
There's a woman, broken and beaten,
On the streets of Madrid alone.
She cries every night over the pain
Of the memories of her family.
Of the man she thought she knew.
Across the world in Tokyo is a girl,
She cries for the same thing,
A father forgotten in the mess.
Who will save them when they come
Down on their knees and their worlds
Are crashing in?
Every day has twenty-four graciously alotted hours,
Meant for us to attempt to change the things we see.
Some people misuse it, others abuse it.
Still all the same those twenty-four hours should be used for change.
Oct 2, 2014
Oct 2, 2014 at 4:19 PM UTC
I live in a space between hard and harder.
Harder Shaped my life under shapers of elastic.
Elasticaly snapped back in and out .Boomerang!
Boomeranged after i swung perspectively and precisely
Precisely bounced in my face like attempt never occured.
ReOccurring in my situation i tend to fall back.
back and lost in my own sauce .
Sauce spilled in a carpet room ..where to start.
Start from a different angel or stick to my script.
Scripted in a manaul of life's virtual reality
Reality is fading now falling apart
Apart cant be defined.
Defined as real or fake become the dark truth.
Truth told to many and lied to alot .
Alotted time to make sense of none but un told truth amended into what is real.
Real set back time if not percieved correctly.
Correct settings is what i needed to find,
finding out assuming reality is what set me correctly back.
Jan 29, 2017
Jan 29, 2017 at 7:36 PM UTC
my heart no longer
wonders or wanders
but beats with a
serenity scorched
by chaos and
left alone
alone with my thoughts
pain but then
forgiveness
my thoughts
it is finished
peace in the storm
Sep 8, 2022
Sep 8, 2022 at 1:41 AM UTC