You're dead to me,
But still very much alive,
I care carelessly,
It hurts me every single time.

My love for you,
Is a contradiction.
I love and hate you at the same time.

You wished I were dead,
But already I am, inside.

a lingering feeling of dread settled into her mind,
and mixed within it, nestled an empty pride,
she was tangled in the twists and knots of a bewildering life,
her hatred, anger and sorrow were results of the self-doubt kindling inside,
in her heart what she felt was real, but what laid in her thoughts were lies,
a fallen angel who told herself she hadn't wings, so she couldn't fly,
if only she'd see what I could.

amidst all of her beauty,
there was agonizing pain,
heavy clouds forming in her head,
and tears pouring like rain.