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 Jun 2014 wyatt rabbit
Kairee F
Erasing me
and replacing me
are two entirely
different ideas.

One
has been proven very easy.

The other
cannot be done.
 Jun 2014 wyatt rabbit
NLB
it's evening on a slightly sunny day,
not my favourite weather - i prefer rain and thunder and lightning,
that matches how i feel better.

i didn't manage to sleep much last night,
the badness was running through my veins and wouldn't allow me to relax,
the urge to run and run but nowhere to go,
nowhere's far enough to escape yourself.

i'm being punished - although i'm not sure what for,
although it may not seem like it i try my best to cope,
i really do,
but it's just all too much.

if i can't run i'll disconnect in any way i can,
smoke,
drink,
smoke,
drink,
smoke.

my body has been clean for two days now but everything feels dirtier and duller than ever.

*n.l.b
 Jun 2014 wyatt rabbit
NLB
i am drowning,
gasping for air,
but nobody saw me go under.

i am dangling off a cliff,
clinging onto the edge,
but nobody saw me fall.

i am bleeding out,
trying to stop the flow,
but nobody saw the cut.

i can't save myself,
and there's nobody to save me.

i am being drained;
i am a wilting flower,
i am slowly dying.

*n.l.b
say for example,
that you love to play baseball.
[it is your favorite thing in the world,
and you're quite good at it, too].
and before your game,
your coach says to the team,
"if we win, i'll take everybody to Pizza Hut!"
upon hearing this, the players' faces light up-
each one can taste the delicious stuffed crust that awaits them,
and visions of breadsticks dance through their heads.
the coach even brought a coupon book to allude to their possible futures...
just before the team takes the field,
the coach pulls you aside
and says,
"actually, i'm going to take the whole team to Pizza Hut
even if we lose."
well, you would know right then
that outcome of the game
is irrelevant,
but the true joy of playing
comes from competition regardless of winning or losing,
so you vow to play your best game ever.
however, everyone else on the team,
not knowing the ultimate truth,
will play very seriously,
but with great anxiety and nervousness.
they desperately want Pizza Hut,
but know that they might not getting it.
this game is the most important thing in the universe,
and it is the most serious test of all time.
every at-bat is tense for them,
each fly ball could result in ultimate damnation.
nothing is fun.
with tension and anxiety,
they strike out, play conservatively,
and don't take the risks that make the game enjoyable.
quickly, the team finds itself trailing by a few runs,
and sweating profusely because of it.

you, on the other hand,
would feel more relaxed during the game.
you would swing for the fences,
knocking a couple out of the park,
steal a base or two,
make a diving catch.
play your best game ever.
you can do this comfortably
because you realize that you're just playing for fun.
you're going to Pizza Hut after game, whatever the outcome!

soon, in your exuberance,
you'd let slip the secret to a couple other players.
you'd tell them, "guys, we were always going to Pizza Hut,
let's just have some fun while we play this game."
most of them rejoice!
[a couple real serious ones doubt you and resent you.
you'd surely smile, bend a knee, and applaud their solemnity.]
but in your state of joy you include the doubters,
and you let them believe what they will until the final innings over.
you think, they'll wake up soon enough.

with the last out made
and the last run scored,
maybe you look at the scoreboard and see yourself in the lead,
maybe you are a few runs behind,
but the smile on the coach's face says it all:
the peace and joy within you brought into your world happiness...

... and a large pepperoni pizza.
knowing what you know now, will you enjoy the game?
 Jun 2014 wyatt rabbit
Autumn
the butterflies swarm her, in utter beauty
and her insides are just turning to black
again
the virus has returned
the butterflies begin to melt away
one wing falling off, there all to human like screams filling her ears,
then she notices blood plunging from there wing that was left,
and as she watches her mind scrambles and blinks there gone,
and she is there with the blade again
remembering there utter beauty
as she plucks away at her scarred skin
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