our voices cross oceans and continents; each sigh and breath dancing all the way from your bedroom to mine. i press the phone closer to my ear, close my eyes and listen, like maybe it can help me picture you there, within touching distance, a smile drawn across your face, eyelids droopy with sleep, fingers tracing the lines of my body.
after each sentence i pause, listen to your breathing and make sure you're still there, hung on my every word, like i am yours.
hours of this. you, shy and quiet, laughing gently and beautifully. me, carrying conversation, telling you stories and weaving lines of poetry into your day, crossing time zones, while i should be asleep.
after minutes and minutes of both of us saying goodbye but neither of us hanging up, i love you is what i softly whisper. you don't hear me and i don't mind, because you murmur it to me without thinking, quiet too, almost like it was never there, like i imagined it all.
of course you hang up first, of course i lie there for hours after, with the phone still pressed tightly to my ear, trying to burn the entire conversation into my brain to replay over and over when you are the one asleep, while i am still awake.

you are so ******* attractive and it annoys the hell out of me.

you don't understand.
the thought of your eyes on me is what keeps me up at night.
i want you to ask me on a date to mcdonald's.
it's okay, i know you don't really love me.
i'm terrified you'll leave when you realise how awful i am.
everything i've told you has been truth.
can i kiss you in the back row of the cinema?
nine months is a long time.
you only love me because you have to.
even though i ask, i don't want to hear you talk about her.
one day you'll see i'm not as perfect as you thought.
i know you will keep absolutely none of your promises.
i love you more than you can ever realise and that makes me so sad.
perhaps you are the reason i am still alive.

i can't write about you anymore. when i hear your name i don't feel anything; don't imagine your lips on all the bruises of my skin; don't find myself replaying the recordings of your voice in my mind; don't shudder as my heart alights and my fingers tap the rhythm of your pulse and my veins remember the way you felt inside of them. i don't write about you anymore. i can't feel anything.

you are beautiful
okay, deal
i just love talking to you
at least i was joking
always
you’re the most amazing person i’ve ever met
i ******* love you, okay
the film is great
you could be a model
ti amo
i don’t know, it’s seven a.m. and i’m tired
you’re perfect for me, too
i’m not ******* lying!
of course i will
i will wait for you because i love you
sorry for everything

i fall asleep in the a.m. hours with my necklace holding my veins together, tight enough to remind me of your fingers interlocking in the very same place.

god, i forgot how much i loved you until i was with you again. until i felt your fingers drawing me closer to you, your breath on my lips, hot on my pale ghost skin, your voice whispering words in the language you made just for us to understand. there are galaxies hidden in the space behind your ribs, i can feel them with each inhale you exhale, taste them in the back of your throat. your thumb traces circles across my hand, like rings around saturn, and you know i revolve around you like that too. you are planet earth and i am the moon, you are beautiful and i will only ever shine for you.