First of all, congratulations.
You are alive and able
to read these words of mine
and that in itself is no small feat.
I feel as if people these days
do not recognize
that life is a great accomplishment.
So to you I acknowledge your due credit
and I celebrate you. Cheers.
I write this at 4 am
with a tall glass of cold coffee
and the intent of convincing you
that you are not insignificant.
Think back to the history
of our own terra firma:
there have been countless species
that once roamed here,
empires have come and gone,
inventions have been made obsolete,
attacks and raids and mutinies
have littered our history.
You have survived all of it.
Think about it.
If everything in the universe didn’t happen
exactly like it already has,
then everything would be different
and maybe you wouldn’t be reading this
but you are.
You are the perfect result
of all your ancestors
surviving through the horrors
of Earth’s past.
You are an arrangement
of old stardust and new hope
and with every sunrise you see,
or every breath you take
you’ve set a new record
and I challenge you
to always
break it again.

THE WAY IN WHICH INSECURITY MAKES A HOME OF MY BODY,
LEAVING HER PILES OF SELF-DOUBT AND ANXIETY LYING ON THE FLOOR.
AS I CONTINUE TO STUMBLE AWAY FROM MIRRORS,
TRYING TO FIND A REFLECTION SHE HAS NOT BECOME A PART OF,
SHE REVEALS TO ME,
THAT THE MIRROR DOES NOT HAVE TO BE CRACKED IN ORDER FOR ME TO LOOK BROKEN.
I ASK HER WHY SHE HAS NOT MOVED OUT ALREADY,
AND SHE SAYS IT IS NOT HER FAULT THAT I ALWAYS LEAVE THE DOORS OPEN.
I TELL HER OF HOW I MISPLACED THE KEYS IN THE HANDS OF PEOPLE WHO COULD NOT LOVE ALL THAT I AM.
AND WITHOUT HESITATION,
SHE ASKS ME WHY I HAVE NOT YET CHANGED THE LOCKS.

You are standing in the alley
Smoking a cigarette
You hear my voice but you can´t hear me
I smell the alcohol on your breath
Your arm is reaching for my waist
Your kiss has that bitter aftertaste
Your blurry vision slowly has me erased
I leave you feeling like life is going to waste

I don´t think you changed, I just think I closed my eyes
Holding on to hope as I watched the smoke rise
Just love isn't enough for me anymore
I can't be your freedom and your cure

You are standing in the alley
Smoking a cigarette
You can drown your sorrows, but I can't drown my feelings
You pour alcohol down your throat until it stings
You hear my voice but you can´t hear me say goodbye
You drank all the alcohol money could buy
Your blurry vision slowly has me erased
As I'm walking away from what you chose to embrace

I don´t think you changed, I just think I closed my eyes
and I know it was real cause you regretted all your lies
Just love isn't enough for me anymore
Your cigarette burns out and drops to the floor

I think I might be dying.
God I hope I do
with my guts spilling up
and running down the hand
checking my pulse again.
If not now,
when?