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 Mar 2018 Name
RWM
Dear Society,
How does one recover?
After panic
After seeing friends you knew so well
Get a bullet pierced through their ribs and fall to the ground
After running constantly to try and save yourself
Save others
My brother wrote a poem
On the back cover of his note book:
Falling rain does not remember
All the feelings that I had
With a gun in my hand
I felt as powerful
As I did powerless
These automatic weapons
Are the easy way out
We are angry
Yet if you fight with violence
I see you as a coward
I shun you will silence
And non violent protests
Falling rain did not remember
Falling rain came flooding through the sky
I will not stand alone tonight.
 Feb 2018 Name
Matthew S
I regret to inform you
Of a tragic, yet beautiful thing
That happened to your daughter, or cousin. yes, Taylor Marie.
She has passed away the day she was born
What you see now, is a ghost of what you wanted her to be
A soul lives in this body, so don't fret

Instead of a little girl inside this body of hers,
Is a 18 year old that wants to be true to himself,
He wants to show the world that hes not Taylor Marie
He wants to scream his name from the roof of this
Probably unstable,
Mobile home.

He has the same likes as Taylor, well... we can assume he does.
Since the body he lives in has been
Nothing but a dead corpse
Slapped with a label of "girl"
A label of "Taylor"
A label, he just cant stand.
So i stand here now as an interpreter of
Who i truly am
And i will say this to you
With unprejudiced truth

To the parents, or family, of Taylor Marie.
The daughter you thought you had,
Is dead.
She never truly existed,
But i know who has,
Who has wished he could be true to who he is,
And will finally be true to himself for the rest of his life

Your son, or brother, or cousin,
Has finally been brought to the surface,
Of a body that isn't his
The body of Taylor Marie,
And his name,

Is Matthew Todd
i have told my aunt and uncle that im transgender, but not my parents and my cousin
i dont live with my parents so its not a big deal if they accept me or not. my cousin on the other hand, ill be devastated if she cant accept me, not just for myself, but for her daughter who looks up to me like an older sibling.
i think everything will go well.
 Feb 2018 Name
Matthew S
I think its funny
How some people don't approve of the way a person is
They say, "don't shove it down my throat!"
"Leave it in the bedroom!"
Yet they make out in-front of them
And they preach their religion
Until the other person gets sick of hearing how
"Its Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve'
They preach hate
And say its the same one
That preaches love
The same religion, that does not like hypocrites
Oh and if anyone else
Who is religious
And sees it a different way
Who sees the good in people
And loves them for who they are
Not who they love
The hypocrites will preach that
"They are not good enough"
Now isn't that hilarious?
this is not meant to offend anyone who is religious, but ive gotten tired of how people are so quick to hate, and are so quick to judge.
i get it if you don't like someone, but is it really worth it to hate them over a fact about themselves they cant change?
 Jan 2018 Name
Matthew S
Name
Whats in a name?
Thats something that Shakespeare wrote isint it?
But there is still value to it isint there?

I remember never liking my name
'Taylor'
Whats in that name that makes me uncomfortable?

Is it the fact that i was stuffed into this body?
Put into this wrong body?
Is it the fact that my parts are wrong?
Or is it the name itself?

Whats in a name?
Correction
What IS a name?
A name is a jumble of syllables
It sets you apart from the rest of the people
The rest of the living creatures of the world
So why be stuck with a name you dont like?

Matthew Todd
Why do i like that name?
Why did my mom like that name?
She said if i was born a with a ***** that it would be my name
So why cant it be?

Taylor Marie
Why did she name me that?
I know why
Taylor, she named me that from a strangers baby
Not a friend of hers baby, but a strangers
How fitting of her

Marie, that is her middle name
And her mom's
And her Grandma's
So its only natural it would become mine too

But not for long

Taylor Marie
Whatever the name means to me, it wont be my name anymore
My name
Is Matthew Todd
My mom had a baby name book that had a section for your children and it also had a section named "other names considered" and my mom wrote "if boy: Michael Todd"
I was considering my name being Michael Todd but my brothers middle name is Michael so that would be confusing
 Jan 2018 Name
Matthew S
To make a mistake online
Is to be corrected
The only way to be corrected is to be put on blast-
Called an idiot-
Called a ******-
A *******-
A *******-
And to be publicly ridiculed while you cry yourself to sleep because
You actually spoke out for once
Only for someone to confirm what you already believe inside.

To see a mistake
Is for you to instantly correct it in the rudest way possible
Call them a *****-
A *******-
Tell them no one will love them-
To **** themselves-
Because you simply don't know

You don't know that his uncle just died-
And that he never got to tell em goodbye.
You don't know that they had to take care of a grieving aunt-
The uncle's sister-
All day because she has lost all but one of her brothers.
You don't know that he constantly cries himself to sleep-
Because he is so full of anxiety he can't even post a comment on a website without being judged-
And you just proved him right
You don't know.
Repeat it after me-
You
Don't
Know

So be rude
Call them names-
Question the intelligence of strangers because of a spelling mistake-
I'm sure he will be fine
That he will be alive tomorrow
After all
Ignorance is bliss
just a warning. there is a bit of profanity in this poem.
 Jan 2018 Name
Matthew S
Blonde hair
Blue eyes
I hope your out there somewhere
I hope that each step takes you to a new adventure
And not your premature demise

Blonde hair
Blue eyes
I kinda saw this coming
I saw the sadness in your eyes but said nothing
And now your gone

Blonde hair
Blue eyes
We look for you with intensity
Like a flame fiercely burning on a candle wick  
Because we cannot bear the thought of you hurt

Blonde hair
Blue eyes
We staple your posters
Flash your name every step we take
In order to see you again

Blonde hair
Blue eyes
We message you
Hoping and praying that
You will just come back home

Blonde hair
Blue eyes
We hope to see you happy again
To see you safe
So we tell everyone

"Short blonde hair
Crystal blue eyes
5 feet and 4 inches
Medium build
In a grey sweater"

Kara please come home
my friend ran away Friday afternoon and i just.... Kara if your somehow reading this, please come home. everyone is searching and we just want you safe
 Jan 2018 Name
Matthew S
What is this
That lay near my looking port?!
Why is it green and
What are those shiny things on it?
Is it edible?
Bleh! No! Its not!
Im gonna bite it again

What are those box shaped things under that green thing?
Are those
GASP!
ARE THOSE BOXES?!
THEY ARE MINE NOW
Wait what is this on it. Is it paper?
Its gonna have to go

Why does my two legged father keep yelling at me?
I dont understand him
But i dont care
I clamed these boxes as mine
Oh no! Dad why are you putting me in the room?
I didnt do anything wrong!
Daddy! Let me play with my boxes!

Where did daddy go?
Oh he's back!
Im gonna get my box-
Hey where did they go?
Daddy where did you take my boxes?
I was gonna-
Wait whats that

A box?
And... IS THAT A FUZZY BALL?!
OH AND THIS ONE JINGLES!
I just love throwing it across the room
And then i love chasing it
But more inportantly
Im gonna put my head in this box

Man im tired.
Hey theres that other two legged person
They have grey hair and its long too
Oh look!
They made me a place to sleep
Im gonna go sleep next to them now

Hey there is my daddy
Wait
Whats a crimas?
Is this crimas?
I dont know
But he whispered this into my ear
And he gave me a kiss on my forehead
"Merry crimas socks"
I thought it would be kinda funny to write a poem in the perspective of my cat socks (a.k.a my little kitty baby)
It turned out alright.
 Jan 2018 Name
Matthew S
Resentment
 Jan 2018 Name
Matthew S
What do you think
is God's big plan
When you have a face of a woman,
But the heart of a man?

When your trapped in the female check box
And your parts don't match your head
But society stares at you like a hawk
Because society wants you dead

I looked up to you like a baby calf
Looking up to its oh so loving mother
Did you do this for a laugh?
Was this pain meant for another?

Because I've been told by your people, oh great father
That you will not love me the way you made me,
That we will never see each other

Should i stay
In the body that you gave me?
Or should i learn to let it go?
To let things be?

But staying is hell
And leaving is heaven
So much that I'm willing to go to hell
That I'm willing to never have a taste of heaven

Why god did you make me look this way
Then make my heart someone different

Did you do it to test me?
To show me that I'm strong?
Or did you make a mistake?
Did you get my formula wrong?

I cant let this go,
Why cant you see,
I have to let my colors flow,
I cant let things be,

I'm sorry god
But please try to see,
I was never that girl
You wanted me to be
Uh this was the first poem i wrote when i started writing poems.
Or at least the first poem that i wrote for fun.
Its a bit ****** and different than the poems i write now but hey, it got me into writing poems
 Jan 2018 Name
Matthew S
Look here! At that tree!
Don't you see it swaying?
Mama why does it do that?

Is it a powerful wizard-
That shakes the tree for apples-
To defeat the evil dragon?

Is it that the tree's are dancing-
They dance to put-
A smile on my face?

Or is it the wind?

Look here! At that bush!
Its moving slightly!
Mama why does it move?

Is it afraid-
That a evil bandit will come and-
Hide his weapons in it?

Or that-
An angry lumberjack will come-
And rip it from the ground?

Or is it the wind?

Look here! On the tv!
Mama! Look here!
That kid died today mama
Mama why did he?

Maybe he is secretly an angel-
And he is returning-
Back home?

Maybe an angel asked him-
To dance with them-
Among the stars?

Or is it just because of selfishness?

Look here! Hey! Look here!
Hey mama! Where are you?
Mama why did you leave?

Your secretly an agent?
And you have to go on-
A very important mission?

Oh now you say that
The wind is asking you to dance with them-
And you cant refuse the wind.

Or is it because of me?
I'm kinda tired of my mom making excuses of why she cant come and see me and why she abandoned us. She just has a lot of problems and i cant help her through it anymore
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