no were to escape only taking on bullets and heavy artillery that explodes killing every one in it's path. no one wants to feel scared but there is a truth to war no one escape only blood shed will stain the white cloth you try saving your best friend who was shot hit all over with fragments of metal making the truth more fear full. theirs nothing such of a war that won't leave bodies piling up. except the cold war that had a tactical scare but not blood shed.  the eye of the heart will say we all break our rules even if our identity's
break that we create to hide  our true self's making it harder and harder to be detected from your really self.. it is clever when the truth of war becomes the truth of your death that will rain on your planes.  i know the to things about war the casualties then your mind making you lose your self then going in a steep slow way threw your own crazy insanity. there's nothing good that you think war is all cool your death will drag you down till your lose it. i'm not scared or feel fear bullets will fly but i know the secret planes how to stay alive .

Life is like a misery that leads fast till you collapse. life throws yow all around till you lose tour balance. Fear is what life breathes on. I might be insane crazy but fear is how the world revolves on till time ends. I see no fear what danger's will be awaiting me down my path. MY only fear is living life with out music to keep my life like a streetlight lighting up all of our roads.  The only fear will show me what will make me want to tear down the multiple waves of hell this world can keep throwing at me. Life is what fear breathes off of . This time i will never get pushed or torn apart . all of life's insecurities show this world. I have nothing left to fear of cause i have tried and pulled off every thing that fear could possibly bring down this place. Fear is the earth that hold so much potential. Fear is what life is.

My heart has carrying around the fear of seeing this world become a war zone the distance I can run will never be enough to survive the end of time. The names of loved one I lost I will carry with me forever. I am alone to survive I miss my happiness I miss my joy but I'll never stop running from the fear

Im not  afraid to speak my mind
im not afraid to stand for what write
im not afraid to fight to survive
im not afraid to rebel agenst the corrupt
im not afraid to get beat or ****** up
im not afraid to lead the scared
im not afraid to stand my ground
im not afraid to show support
im not afraid to ******* up
im not afraid to speak the truth of the lies
im not afraid of being called crazy
im not afraid to show no fear for the ******* that stab me in the back

and im not afraid to get the **** beat out of me so my friends can escape

im not afraid to show you what i can do

so world try me im not afraid of the ******* the mother ******* the ******* the corrupt society.

so come at me im waiting

have fun world cause im a fearless person who is willing to stand agenst the tide

what if one day we found that some one pressed fire on all the nuclear war heads.

im not ready to be vaperized for little to build my survial gear

im afraid cause i willlove every i loved in life
what do we even do do if we even survide every thing is gone.
every thing makes me fear causeit could be a accident set off war head killing every one in the thousand yard blast.

im not ready to die i want to do as many things as possible.

i just am not  ready to lose everybody i have my tears when i watch the news earing them talk about war. i dont  think i can handle much more
i have the list of gear to survive what is going to see mean my family.

i am scared to dye cause i just want more time to enjoy the littel things then enjoy things im not reat to be vaporized ,

My mind is full of endless possibilities ideas that shin bright like the stars and bright like the son. Why dose it all see like day by day i see the same people but they difrent faces. Where am i going. I cant tell you bc idk where i am heading. Stop have bon fire watch the night sky dance away with emptyness and a heart filled with curiosity. Weathers its love *** or pasion or romance at the end the everyday i am always lost. All my thoughts stop i feel cometly empty play a song it gets stuck in my head and i have to play it on repeat forevery bc i cant listen to another song or it will makethings get worse.


Everyday i see the same people but they all have difrent faces at the end of the day

I am just slowly rusting away like the Russian submarines left rote loaded with horrors that bring ecological havoc. I lose all feeling emotion I feel none functional.

I was a top well oiled top of the line machine but time took its own path enstead of being decommissioned properly I was set off to expose toxins.

I have no energy or any feeling to give a ****.


I have no control over my emotions or just simply to not give a crappie what any one says anymore.


I have been holding and pulling along the weight of the world with no time to have a break I was used to hold on everyone's problem and there ****.

No I have been set off to rotate and rust with a arsenal or mass destruction and toxic chemicals  that will destroy  the economy systems



Only if I was decommissioned properly I would still be pulling the weight of the world flawlessly

My foot steps only leave my impression in this world that i play a danger's game. i want to prov this world wrong from my ideas. foot steps been left for ages but what have u wanted to do.

i want to escape all this ******* in this ******* **** face society that only leaves anger and betray. My ideas i want to prove that life would be better when every one could just speak there mind. life with fear is no match for me cause i can bee taken.

i could have every thing taken from me but i will never go down even if you take my soul but my voice will blow your mind.

my words will change your mind but will change the world when i make my point

I wish i could be (FREE) from all the (ANGER) and (HATE)! i wish that i could be free to roam around the world with no limits. i wish i could be a wild mustang running threw the feilds  threw the grassy lands. i wish i could be free from (HARM) and danger. i wish we could all be free from all the suffering (PAIN) left behind. i wish the darkness of our internal past that haunts us every day! i wish to bee free from all the (PAIN) (SADNESS) (ANGER)and(HATRED)! i wish our sould could run free to become more to watch over us to protect us from the slip of darkness of depths of hell. i wish i could be free to become a new side of me

what is it even worth to have friends when its like a scale that is a weight on both hands.
it seems like you have to have the morals of pure ideas that make your every choice.
when u get ****** into a life where all you have lost. when u chose to go out with your friends you have thrown away your family losing conections that throw away the love you never wanted to throw away.  

the choices i have fallen victim to has changed me down deep in side.
there are so many regrets i wish i could take back.

friends have made life fun but it takes away tho heart of love.

have you just wanted to just disconect and erase your identity and just start over.

my life is so insane that i am so worn out that i dont know how i can keep going or i should quit trying and drift with the crowd to see where i end up.

the friends that are good leave behind a positive impact but the ones who **** up your time your life leave the negitivity that spinns out of control like a vinal record that skips endlessly.


can you escape or drown and lose your self in all the ******* ******* of self hate.


its a weight that spinns out of control when u lose your grip and end up some where u cant escape like a closet that  just leaves the huanted image of who you really became when u gave into a new group of friends.

i'm insane people say cause i stand alone away from society.
but i don't have any fault line. i'm not ashamed of what happened last time.
it was all of us that comitted in the act of our lives.
if we stick to gather we wont lose our minds like maybe tomarrow.
falling out of the group becomes the weakness that will make our minds go completly insane.
where do i stand when we all split away from the group.
why did we all split up cause i be came antie social agenst all that we stood for.
why did you want to bring me back to start a new group to become strong again.

when we all split we all made a fault that broke the ties that we made but now its all lies that we created to hide away to move one with life

No no no you ******* coward  I swear to all the poor *** haters I swear you can't take me down I will fight back till I die I am soldier I fight gods honor a loyal angel of death I wil call the shots no more abuse no more manipulation and lies im getting close to shaping  your lies words hate im russian yoy hate me *******

in my life im ling free with rebelian with twist. where i stand is away from society gripsthat just stab you in the back. i'm insane cause i live in a thrill seeking life. if i had to stand to gather in a picture all of you would just run. you cant hold me down cause i have a life to live getting messed up. i wont stand with people cause every day thats where i stand. so **** the rest of you i hav a life to live with no limits cause ideas are bullet proof. your society. but i dont agree with the sufficating lies they spread i cant be held down cause life isnt ready for my hell im about to unleash on you all.
u may take my soul and life but im standing my new ground so **** the rest of you. cause im disobaying your orders you take to me .

if we do ill see you in you own lies to your grave

i hate the way you talk to me like you know every thing
i hate how i even give in to trusting the world
i hate the way society treat us
i hate when you set my anxiety off the levels
i hate how you told me you loved me when you lied to get my over reactions
i hate how you said you loved me when you are just a cheater of silence
i hate you lid to get out of lifes battels
i hate how i hot to be forced to deal with all your ******* mistakes
i hate how i cant scream but you can
i hate how under my skin i scream
i hate you cause you have turned on me
i trusted you but you just stabed me in the back killing me of blind trust.
i hate how you were never honest when i gave every thing to you
i hate you cause you keep liying to your self
i hate you cause i dont know what to even do any more
i hate how you can think its okay to hurt the ones who never even left a scare on you
i hate you when we go in to a fight you cut me across the face with the shiny blade
you left the mistakes and scares running down my face.
i trusted you but i dont even know what to even say about life
you keep reminding me what i have become.
all my scares running down my face with no love left.
i hope you know your just a stupide think i mad a mistake even loving you.
every thing as going well
that day you came to me with a whit lie yousaid you were okay.
i hate you for thinkin you are a **** up.
i have showed you my storiies so why not start your as well.
i cant take hearing that ****** up lies you make when i see you with no one.
i hate to bring this stroie to and end but i only have words of my undivided attention to show you
i wish i could just go on a rampage killing evey one in my way i see you digging your ow grave every day when you keep lieing.
i showed this world to you but you took advantae of what **** you could do.
just like that car accident witch enden to lives with there own souls.
i have a presnt for you . a box of darkness i hope you can see what i mean to you .
i hate to say this but maybe will see echother some day soon.
i hate how life has been playing its cards wrong making every moistake a challang
i hate you cause u kept lying to me when i was trying to reach out to help you.
when i leave you in the empty room i  hope you understand what i ment to you
your life will row cold cause love dosnt mean any thing to you

go **** your self ithought icould trust you but you stabed me only killing me

My life is filled with endless roads I feel like I'm drowning my days are just filled with tragedy when your  love cant seem to heal me I feel like I'm screaming falling into a pit of emptiness and loneliness  if you loved me then why is it you are slowly killing me deeply I gave you my heart for repairs but instead you put it in a shredder the kinda person you are is heart breaker you leave me with a hole where my heart once was you are so fake like plastic this is so tragic I gave you my love and all you have done was hold me down and slowly **** out my souls taking my life away the darkness I feel is so cold my breath is seen is this what its like to be dead inside when love turned into the worst tragedy when I was romeo and you were juliet when you were the devil in desciz your charm was just the bait so you could hook me to your lust I dont know what the hell your gona do but you have ****** the light of day from my world leaving me cold and dead I have no place to run when your controling me at night the fire grows the light flashes and the entire world becomes hell no place to run or hide I feel like I'm drowning under your power I cant escap I'm so addicted to your lust you give off even when you have ripping me apart even when you give me heart aches from the exhaustion we run to

addiction has played my soul along with what ever hope that just drowns me till i just float way down the waterfall. theres nothing left but i cant go threw a day in society with out being on something to take my nerves away. i have so much fear when im in larg crowds. i cnt feel ok cause im afraid of my what will happen to me.  i cant face reality cause im a varry shy person and i have a life of solotude and trust. addiction start to escape for any thing to relive my from the stress of crowds.  i am a scared person.
i cant face people cause i am mess and im kinda crazy but 2:00 am i am thinking of how to avoid any problems just to slip by

im tired of the same thing going over and over. i dont know how to say any thing nice. i just have embrace whats happening to me. i have to see my own misery over and over like a movie that skipps with evry scrach there can be.  i dont know how much longer i can stand this **** you all put on me. you know me to well i have a good heart but i never raised my voice before. maybe its time for me to show all of you my true power in me! so sit the **** down and listen to me. i start to scream all the ******* colors of the rainbow do you see society has broken me and i have put  up with all of its games. so let me tell a stori for a change. all the things put on no is coming out like a tiger or a lion roaring with all its might!!! so every one just shut up and listen to me cause i have every ******* word i had to say but its now my turn to come out of my quiet self and say things for once. i have been quiet for to long so hears what i have to say i want chang to happen  i dont want things to look like a auttomated systems of robotics. i want to run free and not be held captive. i want to speak my mind i want to run up and down a beach just screaming my ****** lungs out that can be. i want to be heard down the streets around 2 am. i want to make a mountian start and avalanch that trapes every little village under 1000 of feet down!
i want to raise hell and bring laughter and fire to my place. i dont want to be silenced for my great crazy mind. i wont let you trap me cause i am a ******* wild animal who will claw your ******* eyes out. so i am breaking away to make the changes for every one to have fun and do insainly messed up crazy dangious things.
i want to start riots to test new ideas. i dont want to be enslaved to a desk and chair in a office building. i want to be the brush that paints the night sky with pretty colors of imanage. you will never catch me cause i cant be silenced from you traping people like animals in rusty cages. ill run free one step a head of all you.

i just want to scream cause im not done fighting for whats right

you cant imprison me you cant silence my voice cause when you drop your guard ill escape and rip all of you apart.

so just listen to me heres my voice screaming my thoughts.
i wont put up with any more crap!!!!!!!!!

i'm completely insane im not afraid to do any things you give me to try!i cant function with out my music playing but ill do anything that is crazy.i take thrill seeking rids that last till im called up on the phone saying your insane. that means noting to me cause i already know that! is there any thing this world that can be done cause whats the point if you dont have the exitment in your life to try new things. im insane cause i dont think stupid i think smart before its tested. my parents think im insane cause im not afraid of what the consequesnes that come with the dangerious ideas. im insane cause i think big not small . this world has never showed what my insane mind can build. im insane cause i show no fear cause im willing to make sure the road is safe for my own friends and family.im insane cause im not afraid to prove the skeptics wrong. im insane cause i want to improve this world better with new ideas. im insane cause im not afraid to speak my mind wen my heart starts to cry.
im insane cause i can read a chapter book and build the storie around society.
im insane cause i have so many things to try. im insane cause i have a big heart and im always caring even when things get dark. im insan cause theres no fear when it comes to the new suroundings that blind the beauty in  life as we go. im insane cause ill never let go of what the truth has told me . im insane cause im inovative and mechanicaly inclined. im insane when riots break out i stear the grouyp the right way. away from the danger. im insane cause i only follow what my heart and mind say to. im insane cause my family tells every one im not afraid of what dangers wait for me. im insane cause i'm willing to get answeeres for the hopless who needs to be helped.im insane cause ill risk my life to help you in the most worst conditions. im  insane cause im not afraid to help you fight when your wounded.im insane cause i want more answeres to help societys troubls. my family thinks im insane cause im always crating someting crazy to solve a problem even if its really stupid. my mind is insane cause im not afraid to take things to a new level. every one i know thinks im insane cause i want people to fell free and not traped that slaves them to. people call me insane cause im always working on new things to improve my theriories that might be insane but what if they became the next thin g to work for societys lies. im crazy insane cause theres nothing im willing to try so follow me in my foot stepf and be com what you truly want to speak your mind. speak your mind with me and society will be come opened with ideas to try for future hope . so follow me and we will open a world with ideas that will never be silenced by fear

thank you letting me speak my mind

follow if you dare for change

i never smile cause i'm Russian the cold weather i form into. i see no fear i'm a harden till that net time we meet. you have your weapons so do i. you don't need bullets to win only what we have to spill. i plan my attack when you men march threw the snow cover brush. you have no idea what will be coming to you when u step into my winter trap.
your bullets will fly but your never going to hit me only the surprise that will blow you across this battle field.  have you ever meet me the insane Russian full of mysteries. you cant escape what kinda war ill play.  the winter is my  advantage cause i'm living threw your battle you have planed you crazy jellies ****'s your plan is over when the snow shows you my war with no bullets or fire power just mind bending tricks that will slowly make you sink into insanity or make you lose every thing.

my war only has mind mental power not blood shed that you would bring to wipe out every thing to gain permanent power. every one in your path has been killed or piling up bleeding to death with your head making this world suffer with blood filling the snow covered woods that your forces have made. your only fear is being mind read your life is over when your paranoia starts tearing you down like a tree taking your power i'm going to end your life mentally with you driving your self to death.

my war has no fear no blood shed but a plan to follow my own orders to end this **** that lays between both of us.

i work behind the enemy lines planting my attacks on life your life.

i fight with no violence just like one time we were friends brothers. but that night i told you betrayed me you took off all night planing your own revenge that will drive you to your own grave.

you were my brother allies family my betrayer.
my trust has lost but you keep trying to get to me with your lies of **** you keep putting on your life.

snow is my life i survived in Russia in the winter but i got a chance to tell my stories the stories is where i have survived this world that hits me every witch way it can. i might have found a way to describe how i'm still alive.

you can make me suffer you could start a war that will destroy my life but i won't let my grip let go to fall to the ground and let go till it give up all my secrets.

i have the gift of blending into the winter since my body only adapts to the cold.i might be insane or crazy but nothing can stop me or knock me down even bullets or war will never bring me down. you can tourcher me  break me but ill never break.

my secret i never will smile i'm Russian and i don't smile but when i do youl wish you never wasted your time trying to break me till the end of time.

do i need blind love or do i stay away from your lies you have told me. your life is almost over when i pull the covers over my head leaving me to feel free from the agony that will never leave till the end of time

i am assigned a mission of imminet threat. i dress nice to hide my blind side of power. can you trust a double agent that has so many side o life? would you be crazy enough to follopw along in my danger i put on. i see no threat expt my only objective is to protect you with my bullets. i can be the master of diskys and a blink of and eye vanished. im blacm and white that wathes from the shadows seeing the world turn up side down from my own prospective. i have the scares of bullets that peircd. i have the looks and the guts to fight my way to the vary top.

are you cazy enoughtto take my hand and follow ordes to save the one you love
cause the tucs dosnt always hide your eye color of lies

I just want to know if my life is just a dream or reality breaking me in front of you.  

How can I escape when all I want to do is cry in your arms.

No  one knows what it feels like not to shed a tear when you can't feel the warm arms that makes you feel nor hated.

The girl of my dreams keep yelling at me.

Figating only stopped my heart from beating .

I feel like I can't start a new path cause I only felt safe when every thing went wrong.


But since you left I haven't slept waiting to be safe in your warm arms.


Broken as can be im falling from societies games.


I haven't she'd a tear knowing the truth u will never come back so I can love you.

I feel there won't be a reason to love. When u have broke my heart. Now I know the truth I'll just keep moving.


If I stop and site on the ground I'll never get back up but if I keep going maybe I will make new tales and stories ahead of me.


I am just a mess cause you broke my heart that will never beat again when it's the truth agent love.

i cant talk to people cause i'm shy and scared. i like to watch from a distant in the shadows. i'm shy nervios about what will happen to me if something harms me.
life it scares me to the point where i drop off the face of the world to hide. my identity holds a strong rope but i i drop off the face of the earth hiding in the long summer day's just watching the world fall apart. my fear start and then my anxiety follows like my shadow on the pavment go'es every where i go. normal people scare me also dose people who do things that can cause death or serious injury. at night i have realized that i cant keep hiding when my shyness. hides my identity and lets me walk the shadow in society. im scared and i i have social problems. every thing scares me. trust i dont take so kindly. my shyness live's a life of its own. idk what will come to me but im  reay to find the way out unscaved.. normal people scare me and im not ever going to be normal.  is my shness scare you cause you just have to deal with it

this world has nothing but blind ends. no one knows what real emotions mean. life shows no breath of remorse. the truth will be spilled out soon when the wrong turn has consumed what you really should admire. this world leads nothing but lost empathy that has no feeling. love is just a word you say. But do you really know or feel what real emotions feel like. every thing is fake stupid blind with know direction no path to follow. being the last one who is quiet watching society fall apart from what lies fill your heart. industrial love will just bring you down taking every thing form you away. love isn't real. just these words that we say to be nice.

I see the thrill in my mind a 007 agent in pure blindness. I have heard your voice sounding like wind chIms blowing around in a rain storm.

Your love was so strong that I felt like darkness will play taking away lives.

I couldn't sleep only me laying on your chest hearing your heart beat. I see nothing but a 007 agent picking up insanity

is there any road to follow is there any way of survival for my own hope. where do i turn to if i mean no trouble. theres no hiding cause every one knowes my life like a bood with chapere books. all i can do is turn my silence in to violence. theres only fear where i cant hid behind the sound to hide my stolen omen.

where do i wait for you to show? i ponder on what will happen to me is the danger screams out of the shadows. what is real my dreams that turn into dark!

i can keep running from all the lifes evils of temptation do i follow or not. what s this life
life or death. some one stole my own demons. how long do i have to keep going when i just gett weaker and weaker as time goes i lie to my self like every thing is all right when im slowly drowning out of the light.

my hands arnt stong enouht to hold my silence. holding on for dear life my hands start  to slips as i plumit to my death. seeing my own refection that is only evil that takes no risks.


when i touched the mioir i went in to another world seeing whay ly life is like for every white lie that leaves scares.

i slip way from the light with some ones othere hands pull me away soying dont go eve if you chose. we are hear to fight for what neddds to be changed.

letting go of my  souls as it puours out of my breath.

our world is full of dangers that linger every corner but i kep slipping from the light cause i ont have any thing to hide be hind my sound so i dont break



what am i
what will i be
how will i survive
what do i need
love
free of fear
how long do i have to keep running
my sound is now where to be hurd
the cold weather bites
my anxiety grows
with what limits
idk who the real me is
cause looking in the water seeing what you look like
what would be left
if i went missing
what would you do
do i really know who the real me is

cause i dont have any thing to hide be hind the car radio no sound my silnenc turnes in to violence




(MY SILENCE TURNS IN TO VIOLENCE) when i dont have a place to hid

drowing my life with music has saved the pain way from all my (ANGER&HAT;;)

all i can see when i sleep is this world dyeing with ******* hatred and small war

i dont have any thing to hid be hind to stay safe  

(MY ANGER%HATE) becomes dangerous making me snap and go psychoticly crazy

i don't know if i'm losing control. what is real what is fake.  i cant tell cause i'm going insane when i saw you that night with that pretty flower in your hair. i thought it was just a really bad dream. but when i woke up laying on my front lawn ******* over. i felt my vibrating it was you it wasn't a dream  it was a real thing that happened.
i don't remember a thing at all i just remember waking up.  

i'm not going crazy but insanity is real going crazy when every this feels so fake but every thing was so real.

let the state of mind release into peace.
all the stress please leave me alone.
breath by breath all my life flashes behind me.
i'm not going insane but i have that dark heavy feeling that just sufficating.
all the darkness that has pushed me down slowly tearing me apart all around.
all the people in class have said wispers behind my back.
but my fight will never stop sun set to sun rise.
the weight of darkness runs wild like wild fire burning every thing that was beauty. but now lies.
every step i take one foot after the other. my impresion in the sand. will fade away and come back.


i leave to find my cozy safe haven that i can spread my new colorfull wings and warm them up spread them wide.
my safe haven is full of joy no one can find it cause youl just have a fight to get to me.
my breathes show when the cold weather go's.my next *** is a feild of roses that drip the new spring dew.

my life is filled with chaos and hectic things i don't under stand.
what is the reason you only just hold me down and drive me ******* crazy.

i have a safe haven where i just think pondering about my ideas that can change life and improve the blood shed to leave and go away.

my life has been stronger that any one who has try'd fail'd and lost the fight.

but i have a place that is filled with life that never dies i have a place to vent and ponder and let my thoughts out to think about what could change.


YOU CANT DRAG ME DOWN TO GO FIGHT? BUT I"M NOT A FIGHTER I'M A LOVER!!!!!

you could tear me appart by my wings will grow stronger and maybe ill sheil'd you from the bulletsthat will hit you.


i take breathes of air and clear m mind of the danger i will never escape.

but every breath i take makes a new place that i can go to to just release the anger/ that floods my vaines.

im a vary shy person but that never will change the way i see this world threw my eyes of this world that lies to me like paper that burns in the hand of the devil or demonic  ******* that just rip your (*******) (HEART) out.

my shyness lets me just watch this world an all its moves.

to me this world is like a vary vary big (CHESS GAMES) every peace is a pawn that moves to the place where you want to follow a path to lead the king or queen to fredmon.

every breath is seen when the winter starts to let heavy snow fall consume your mind.

the train tracks i walk my tracks stay the snow fall is so thick i will follow till you look ahead and just see me vanish in to the white.

my breath breath the fog on the cold dryry days.

i may be alive but deep down i am scared and beat but yet i still walk this world with no regrets only ideas that can change this corrupt world that only teaches lies that make people riot.

my life is nothing but one big scare.
but ill never just sit down and cry ill just walk this earth till i die.

if it aint black and white peck scratch and bit.

my eyes a vary blue as the kristal waters of of the gates to hell.

my breathes have nothing but ideas and people i want to leave my life.

every breath fills my lunges with energy that i can harn's and breath out fire that is nothing but my stress.

stress has riped my life apart but every new scare of wound ill manage.

my min d is strong as lifes demonic eliments.

ill never let this world leave me behind cause ill always be watching your every move.
every fight i  take in is all the night mars that will **** your soul away leaving nothing but a broken lie .


my safe haven has hid me well away from your ****** up lies that have twisted that ******* smile off your face. my save haven has my life to recover from the **** society  throws my way when darkness fills my lungs i want to go on a ram page that will drown all you out from me.

nothing is great noting is promising nothing is good or bad nothing is good nor evil. life has the rads and paths that you can make life.

i might be quiet by my eyes listen as so ears my words have nothing nice to say but that's only cause were alive.

day by day the weather changes so dose my mood.

but every one in my life is a lie.

my safe haven is my sheild that blockes the words the texts have no effect.


this life with lies have no effect. on me that only creates wounds not love or like.

my simple words words of HATE ANGER  back stabbing words that only dig your own grave that you have started when you were able to starting to talk. talking

life has led  me to insanity or insane but if you just followed a path maybe you can make your own safe haven that will not scare you.

if i tell you it only take one person to start a wave of love caring and compassion to start people to love and follow a way.

it only takes one person who's voice had been silenced in the shadows.

ill take every breath it to take to show you all a world from my point of how i see it to show how life can be made  to survive and maybe ill show you my one idea and path i want to show love.


only one person it takes to spread a world of love .



thank you my  breathing saved my anger now my breathes leave out the  harsh but ill never get knocked down ccause my safe haven has saved me from this world of fear anger hate lies societys tricks but all of tho  have


MADE ME GROW WISE WITH  answeres of life

In mind I feel like I have been suffocation all my demons I have trapped in my mind.as time goes love just seems to be so deeply  neglected. my many mistakes I made just seem to leave tears that can show your honesty to your heart. the music I'm listening to just seems to leave me feeling emotionally drained just like all the sadended lies you left me with. before you speak just tell me if can handle the emotional pain you cause me. if I could change my ways I would be normal just like the rest of society. everything I give to you day and night just seems like you don't care about me. all you do is stair at me like I'm blind many ways your words have. I told you again and again over and over just speak the truth bc your just hurting your self on the lies you are purseing. pretty soon you will run into your fate when all I asked is for you to tell me the truth. anything is possible. look at your self tell me who you truly see or who you truly are. love only becomes true when you just tell the truth. my heart just cryed when you have lied to me my fear is real but the music that I listen to just wraps around me injecting me with pain relief. this world is so scary when your not around me this world is so toxic society is  so dangeriously toxic everyone around me is toxic. what do we do when times runs out? where do we go where do we run. where will it be safe to play sleep or dream. I'm so tired of your dishonest lies so what me just pack up my stuff walk out the door while you sleep whatch me disappear threw thin air. I thought your voice was just lies. I'm losing my patiants  with everything you do that rips me apart.

last nights date was fullof colors the red wine staining every snoby watreses white shirt
funny how it only takes our little prank to laugh all rest off the night with our sperits high and our thoughts open. we didnt even get in the door till around 2:00 god knows what. we tryed to be quiet but our laughs can quiet last nights date idk what really happened when i just woke up next to my date half way hung over my mind drew a blank. what did happen cause our room is a mess. my hair is mess and my clothes smell like a horrifying. idk where i was last night just the message i read. we went out on a date witch turned in to hellish pranks that waitor i triped making him get covered in food and the horrable thing that makes you laught so hard you cry

what the hell happened on last nights date

what is this i'm going to speak my mind. but this **** your society has done was just hold me down. i don't care any more i am going to show every one what i mean when i had enough. i have picked and chose but it all came down so close like a plane that breaks the speed of sound. when u just want to let lose your dark entitys letting lose hell imprisoning all the ones who have made your life snap like a branch that was full of life.this is my present to this world i run this game so just tell me if you can escape my tricks of all your wasted hate that sticks with out glue or tape. i will invade and show what unseen force that wait your fait. the last friend or person who led the group into the trap? well its my time to show you what i have in me to run the entire place in destruction. i don't care what you say i have listen and been hit by every wave you sent. but this time im going to walk threw and levae this town with no smile but turned into my dark orces of what you have done..



i have been held down  getting crushed by all the lies.

so here's my gift a path of destrution that will make every thing i had to the destruction of venting

im tired of ******* people tell
im not going to stand for it any more
im going to raise hell weathere you like it or not
lets gather at night and riot
i dont stand for the hsh hush dont tell secrets people say to me .
i want the truth told to me
who is with me
cause i want the truth that tells me every thing
im going to raise hell untile i uncover that scares smile you where
i want the truth of what you hide from me
no more lies tell the truth to stay alive

in me my soul is cold.
in me me eyes show no light.
in me im just a dead creature walking the earth to escape and be ree.
i carry around a box of darkness. can you see the present .
in me im crazy insane and ******.
in me i really doing really give 2 flying ****** about this world!
you may thing im messed up but thts just how i am.
so if you have any words mean to say.
dont ever wast your time cause i dont even hear you.
in me im dead but im some what alive when i turn my music so loud i can drown out the ******* in this world away from me.
in me i really dont care about people who just hurt me.
in me the light in my eyes are just the reflection of you in the distance of your own hate eating you apart.

what a night with friends just partying with no sence of time or tiredness. every night you go out and try new things that will throw you out when you find your self waking up with no memore. you feel great with no reziliance of the angers that will take your  moral confedens. you just feel free and a rebel to your parents. every night you are out all night with just images that bring laughter and giggels. evr night you find your self with a  new thing writen on your body lipstick  kisss all over the white shirt.  but that one night you feel this thought that thought frezzes every thing. is this real. nothing makes sence and it is all clear you have became the person that you promised to not let out.
all the thrills grow but your mind is to ******* over to even realize that this isnt you.

your girl friend is scared to death about you. yeah

yeah life's thrills have turned you into a mess. your girlfriend finds you passed out on her front stoop with a note you wrote please save me?

life;s thrills is all fun and games before you get that thought every one who loved you are extreamly scared for you.

love is one thing but pushing away that and going insane leves another lie tht you said this wont ever be me.


yeah LIFE"S THRILLS HAVE DESTROYED YOUR LIFE AND EVERY NIGHT YOU WENT OUT YOU PUT ANOTHER LIE ON YOU?

LIFE"S THILLS HAVE NO BOUNDRIES BUT WHO DO YOU SEE YOUR SELF REALLY LOOK LIKE?

LIFE"S THRILLS have taken my life and flipped it up side down.
your addictions to the little things have made you look like ****.

no sleep exept sitting on your bed agenst the wall with questions of what happened all those nights/

all there is stress in this world
every one losing control
this world has gone insane
but i remain calm
i stay in the same set of mind
i have no fear or sham
i will lose it when you put every thing on me
i know i losen up my mind
when you come find me
i dont know what you want from me
but i cant keep up with these games
no mater how far i go
ill always need to losesn up my mind
go go flexiable
im probly going to go comepletey insane for all these problems this world can give

all night laying awake only knowing what life would be like to understand. my mind see;s lies but my heart doesn't know weather to cry or just run away so i won't have to face the people the next day. i lay next t my girlfriend. the road feels like the empty hollow feeling. no place to hear or want to speak. been clean  from self harming for 2 and a half months. every thing i wanted to say i rather just let my road pay out dissipating drooping off the face of the earth knowing ill bee leaving my love asleep in the nigh. nothing has any thing to make any scene to it. just lost in deep deep deep thoughts just trying to get by. only losing track just keep going to my self

dragging me down fighting for people i care.  my body is hit with millions of bullets that have  taken away my last breath. my lungs fill with darkness but ill hold my friends lives in the balance of my own demise all my own answers will never have to show but take my hand stay close ill be the shield for you to escape. my life will never die even every bullet that hits ill never let you go. don't go or ill lose my own fights.

i think love is a dangerous road to go down. its blind it will take your mind driving you you t your own insanity. you cant swim away you drown. its all lies that surround you like old memories that make me want to punch you in the face. i have been caught trap'd for internetey. no room to breath just lost of hope to be let free .
love is a blind identity that stabs you in the back. i see no reason for love to bite me like a vampire needing to feed then you are trapped till you dye. your life has been erased your don't know how to release the anger. your voice is only hollow  your mind cant say letters or even say any words. you have been trapped in a parallel universes that collapse killing every body. the love is a blind danger that no one will survive from you life is over taken away by the love that wasn't meant to become.


love is a dangerous blind road to your own soul that will be taken away only the suffocation you'l   get is no way to  escape no freedom will ever come all your friends and family just don't want anything left to care about you cause the blind dangerous night you have lost your real mind only insanity will bring this house of cards down to the floor.

Every day I wake up I feel drained the same old routine everything I did is slowly killing me one breath at a time everything feels black and white the exitment grows when my soul lights the fire burning down everything in its path all people do is slowly **** me only driving me crazy till it ends up like a ******* train wreck only leaving me with now energy just aches and pain not ever the pain meds will bring me back to like only start a destructive path of of self hatred and addiction


Not even pills or ***** will bring me back to life


One problem after the other it's like a rainy day only bad part is it's nothing but electric and explosive

As I look at my self in the mirror all I see is me dead deep inside with no way to recharge or even breath I feel like I'm suffocating under all the ******* life throws at me

I feel like I'm a loaded gun ready to go off with a load bang the target is me with a bright red dot on my back


I am mentaly drained sic of the same routine but to **** tired to start a new routine

Let's face it I feel like I'm slowly suffocating

Everthing is killing me one breath at a time

all i can do is survive life bull sit that comes my way. but i can never put my pen down i need to write what my mind needs to let free. i cant escape my life or face reality. my mind my heart deep down lets the words s flow threw my arms spilling out my words i don't have the power to speak my mind. when i do i will go complete ape **** on every one. i cant actually speak cause i'm shy and i don't like being in crowds. cause i wont say i'm sorry. the words cant come out but my pen never lets me down.

my years of high school have been so fast. but the truth is the ****** people who take away that loving time remembering the good. we have felt  a strong bond. i have sunk into a dark haze when all of the life stories we share. my 4 years of high school were only possible from miss lee as a guardian that never let go.  i feel like every thing is a joke.

Miss Lee has been taken away the most greatest part the light you need to keep up with your self conflicting. reflection.

half of the lie taken away her job cause the district can't afford to keep or pay to stay.






my graduation is jun 4 but i have been flexible and i can put up a lot but now i have no reason to even try to be nice.


the chain has been broke  my heart sank below the titanic of lost emotions.


if she goes ill just go to plan b im tired of being nice.


i know we will keep in-touch .


but the budget cant afford miss lee so theirs not any thing to say except that the high school is a joke.


you broke my chain now ill be the most ****** ******* i could be. Misses lee made my life in high school possible to function.  time will talk but my words will take to the top of the list that the school  can offord the help of misses lee the social worker who helps and keeps us in line she should stay but the ****** play with there money firering .

Blind truth ****** knuckles the last smile I though was just is horsing around.

Why dose things seem to end with a fight at the end of the day.


Not enough pain killers of booz  will change the feeling of insanity in. The room .


Why don't we just play nice.


But knowing me the false leading became my fist hearing the deal out of all your bill **** fake lies.

this world has so much ******* **** that it corrups peoples mind. i cant function with out my music drowning my till i cant stand. every song has a new meaning to my life when every mistake i have made threw life . what do i got to do if my stress takes my internal soul.  my headphon es truned up really loud so i cant hear the ******* smart *** remarks said. no one knowes i cant hear there **** that plays threw the air. when i am lost my music has saved the broken peices that cant be put back to place. my music spreads like a wild fire music takes my silence speech away to put on a new smile

My loving aunt has passed away in peaceful arms.  Her voice soft and warm. Her heart had all strong intentions even when bad things seemed to run loose. Her character was like a dragon  with bold ideas.

She was strong and  never let go but years went by and she grew more loving ing wise  he peacefully passed away in her sleep with no pain or fear.



My aunt was a sovont always trying to improve the lives she had intentions for positive change.




RIP MY AUNT BETSI

I have no reason to run or fight. The girl of my dreams saved my life from a path of misery and lost of hope. She made my cold broken heart beat with explosive energetic life. She is saved me from the path of dark abuse of energy drinks.

She saved my life making my heart beat and bring me back to life my baby is my light and explosive energetic life

you and i trusted friendship that lasted till my insanity will drive you into your own madness. every night and day laughing till we cant breath. I'm so bad cause i will tear this world apart to find the place to hide down into safety when this world will drown you.  look at me society is scared of me. every new idea i make all i know is that friend ships will be dead to me. your time is just something i will never have enough to follow by its own lie.

i have no fear of any thing any more.  but i will tear this world apart till i make the message clear that big ideas will make innovative ideas to make this world change will over power the ones who can't realize what right means to people.



i will never let my ideas leave till i make my point making this world know change will come but. so lock you doors or join making life easy to survive for any kinda people who can't keep there heave above the surface.

As i look in the mior at my self i see two sides of me one bright and beautiful and the other a mistory awiting to be discovered. My mind is where i spend most of my time thinking long thoughts. Pondering on what is going on. My friend is my own creativity a poet esacpinv my reality i live is hell i cant escape. My mind is full of things i cant explain. Ideas creative exiting but road lesss traveled. Bc beyong every bend is a mistake i make every time i open a new door to my own hell. Where god or satan has no control over. I am a walking hell setting wild fires with nothing left bright or beautiful. In my life there is no sun just a world of hell. If i let you see what i see you might lose your mind and go psychoticly crazy just to escape the pits of fire i walk threw. Wind chimes blow giving a chill to the air leaving me with chills of fear down my spine. My bipolar is like a roaler coster a speeding car that crashes into another cras sometimes. Most of the time i spend my time in my head thinking long thoughts pondering on the possibilitys of what is true and what is false. Week after week im stuck in my head just with all my thoughts that never seem to end it never tires me at all. My friend dont follow mw unless you wish to walk in hell like me

I lay in tears of seeing thoughts of losing my goals and dreams. I feel insane when I can't fall asleep seeing the darkest shadow following me. I don't even have enough in me to shed a tear. I feel like a old wooden grandfather clock ticling time away.

My heart has no sound no rhythm. I am tormented by every thought that will never leave me alone.
Brown twisted saying your name every 2 min so quiet calling your insanity till you break and set off a big explosive rage.


I'm insane or the thoughts that ripped your every voice you hade left to say.

My love i want to lay you down to rest in my web of your paralizing venom making it painless
Night i cant tell if im awake or in a intoxicating coma dreams begain to form in to terror like buring in your own hell you meddicat my brain but your love takes away everything making your intoxicating aroma **** me jnto your arms i drift into your mind hoping to find you sitting with me. You keep me happy you keep me alive with your voice baby do you know what its like to feel so hollow deep inside your love leaves me breathless your touch changes my mind

Night and day im alive half awake or lost buried in your arms


You take all my pain away you put out my wild fire you blow away the darknezz i seen every day


Your intoxicating aroma as you hold me you lay me down to rest in your arms never leting go

I FEEL LIKE I'M GOING INSANE. GETTING ****** AROUND LIKE A PUPPET THAT HAS NO WAY OR PATH.

I lay awake with nothing but scatter minded thoughts. I feel like I don't know where to go with no sence of direction.

It's 2 am and I'm still not asleep my mind had full controll as I just get dragged along.

I feel like screaming but I will only makescape people think I'm a psychotic bipolar monster.


I have no way out trapedal in a glass prisom that is unbreakable suffocating with no sleep just going loopy.


I lost my fear with abusing energy drinks.


I'm not insaine I'm not insaine I'm not insaine.


Every thought every word I'm lost with now direction.


Only knowing I'm going to loseither control and crash and burn.

I'm lost scatter minded and I'm bipolar and I can't escape being feeling like a puppet  being played by the evil sensation

Of bipolar disorder scatter minded

MY black and white cat strolls around hiding in the shadows. he wears a tuckcido. with a vary nice smool look. his affection brights my life up when i dont have any one to talk to. he is a small companon that goes every where. his loving purr fills my heart with the warmest feeling . he is the  James bond that is stealthy and undetected. even tho he is just my small little companion he has a bi rour and a loving affection. he never leaves with out telling you whats needed


his name is OREO my black and white cat that is my heart he has a big state ment but always there to give a fection when u are down