I can not sleep,
for you are not beside me,
I toss and turn,
bury my head in my covers,
wishing I could bury my head in your chest instead,
my silent tears dissolve into the darkness
that surrounds me,
as I lay there
imagining your arms holding me,
holding me tight whilst I watch you slumber,
you look so beautiful, peaceful and it's comforting,
I feel safe.

but in reality,
I lay here cold and longing,
for you, my love,
I can not sleep.

Love is an emotion that strangles everyone
It holds fears and joys within its mighty palm
Fears of betrayal and jealousy
Joys of happiness and trust
Love is a possibility of both
There is the possibility of being hurt
There is the possibility of being happy
There is also the possibility of being both at different times
Love is complicated in a mental standing that humans cannot understand
I do not believe I understand Love as in my world she is magnificent
In my world she has saved my life and helped me understand this rather simple four letter word
Love is simple yet devastatingly complex
Love is well...Love.

Place
The brass key
Into
The crass lock

Turn
Hearts of mad men
Into the innocence
Of day dreaming children

Accept
Life is meant to end
So a new life
Can begin

Work
Until the body crumbles
Into itself
Forfeit never into defeat

Challenge
Each step you take
And listen to the fragile breathing
Deep in debt angels

Heavy Metal
Love
Induced family therapy
By a movie screen

Truth
Is only appreciated
Because of lies

Want
Every sentence
To exist
Because of the former

Sleep
Awake
Dream
Ascend

To consciousness revealed
Shed the old for the new
Like the forest snake or mountain shrew

In rivers dreams reflect
Slit seams of a heart shaped tattoo
Promised in broken E minor fragments
And postcards from a war long past

Upset
Not from interruption
But because interruption
Was when

Things got interesting

It's an addiction
It can't be understood
In its exterior it is simplistic
In its interior it is complex

It is something that can't be understood
By those outside it
Because they don't know the highs
Or where it does take you
All those outside it can only see
Just how it will break you

But they can't see
They can't see how good it feels
The stages are easy to know
When you can follow me

Stage 1: The first date
Always the best part
The nerves
The preparation
The mystery
The first time that I touch her hand
A rush
I feel high again

Stage 2: The first kiss
Always a favorite
Because I mastered it
I take her to the perfect place
She loves it
An overlook
A stream
Nature surrounding
The kiss happens
It's perfect to her
She loves it
As do I
I feel that rush again

Stage 3: The convincing
The dating
The kissing
The sensations
All are easy to see why it's sensational
The feeling of her skin against mine
The listening to her perfect breath move her chest
In and out
In and out
I tell her I love her
She isn't sure at first
But I try harder
As we continue
And I succeed
I feel the euphoria coming in

Step 4: The love
That comfort
That security
That feeling of serenity
It cloaks me
Wraps me around
Its sky blue blanket
And lays me in
A green field
She's there too
Next to me
Feeling the same earth
Beneath us
I turn to her
Eyes whatever color
It nonetheless dazzles me
It fills me with something dangerous
Hope
That rush is gliding me through

Stage 5: The loss
Parents get in the way
She loses that feeling
I'm a *******
But either way
That feeling
That was once with her
Is gone
She walks the thin line
Performing a balancing act
Trying to find reason to be together but can't
She calls me up on the phone
Tells me how everything is wrong
I don't see it
I can't see it
Our love was perfect!
We both made it!
And now you're killing it!
We meet up
I beg but she's stands her ground
She walks up
Leaves
I'm alone
Left to sob
Yell
Get angry
That adrenaline rush from the high rises

Stage 6: The hate
The pacing
The change of thoughts
I still love her one day
I despise her the next
I feel anxiety kick in
Try my best to hold it
But can't
I call her up
Yell at her
Scream at her
Tell her that
She threw something great away
She hangs up
Blocks me
Never speaks to me again
I still keep pacing
Feeling more often guilty
Than angry
ineverwantedtohurtyoualliwantedtodowassaveyoufromanyoneelse­iknowthatisaidiwantedyoutosufferbutthatsnnottrueatalliddoanything­
Sometimes I still feel that hope
But it's fading
Fades fast
It's all over

My high is going down
I need to go back
And cook some more

She moves on quickly
I got her addicted too
She feels that addiction too
It draws us both in
And we can't imagine
What it would be like to leave
It is the cycle
That helps make us
And the cycle
That can break us

When the lights
Are dimmed down
Sweet underglow.
Softly lingering music
Swaying around our heads.
Things I want to desperately
Fill your ears with.
Hum them rhythmically
Like hot honey
Sticking all around inside you.


*©NDHK