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sitting on the roof
savoring this gray night
inhaling the euphoria of my own existence
my season of requiem came to an end
for i was convinced my dead weight heart won’t be able to perceive love again
but the mirror now tells me otherwise
at last! my heart is at peace

your scent makes me feel safe
and your warm brown eyes comforts me
the bear hugs from you became my favorite thing
and your smile gets me through the day
you don’t need your stethoscope to get me cured
i’ve already stitched what my past has broke
your presence alone is enough for me
i see colors again to translate it to poetry
i’m glad i found you in the after rain
Kichiya Hayashi Nov 2021
Konnichiwa! My name is Kichiya. Most people find me distant at first but once you get to know me, you'll see that it's the other way around. I'm a direct person, I state what I have in mind without hesitation. Sometimes I hold back but I find it hard to keep what it needs to be addressed over protecting someone's fragile ego. With that, I may appear to be brutally honest, but I expect likewise. I love simple things in life, and I'm extremely thankful for what's upon and what I'm given. I love cooking and trying out new things. I'm always up for an adventure and meeting different kinds of people. I'm very easy going and I like making others laugh. Some people may find me a bit complicated but I'm not afraid to take the initiative. Generally, I’m a nice person but please don’t cross me or I’ll never look at you the same way again.

I do fancy anything that look better sketchy and unresolved in my eyes. Just like anything else when endowed with a sense of implicitness and mystery hanging in the air. Yet, If there is something I should state so early, I'm very reserved and I filter people that deserves to be kept in my life. I have nothing soulful to absorb from superficial connections, of any kind.

Theoretically speaking, I'm most probably not your usual cup of tea! I dislike (our) modernity. I swear. This isn't because I have any fetish going against the flow. Most people value harmony and coexistence in their life, so do I. Call me reactive if you want, but the times we live in feel to me completely cold, morally downgrading, highly narcissistic, and thus, bluntly disenchanted. Although I feel somewhat indifferent, I do not think that I should be melancholic about life anymore but rather be more enthusiastic for things this life on earth has to unfold  as long as I'm breathing. That said, I'm not closing my doors for possibilities.
Kichiya Hayashi Oct 2021
I am not my past or my future,
I am here and now.

I am not my thoughts or my feelings,
Thoughts and feelings are what I have.

I am not my behavior,
My behavior is what I do.

I am something deeper,
I grow, I change, I renew.
#selfactualization #selfcare
#breathe
Kichiya Hayashi Aug 2018
There’s black butteflies twirling around my soul
Slowly luring me, wrapping my crushed spirit
Inviting me to disappear from this world of misery

The black butterflies mummified my body
Inch by inch they took care of my wrecked vessel like a soldier died fighting on the battlefield

People keep on telling me to be strong
They never realized my strength is drained
I wish my heart is big enough to contain this endless pain

Oh I want to be in paradise
Oh I want to be in paradise
Oh.I.want.to.be.in.paradise.
Kichiya Hayashi Aug 2018
Within the dark shadows of my heart
The torch’s glow reveals your face.
Within the dungeon of my soul,
the corridors echo with your laughter. Within the castle walls of my resolve,
your tender caress sets them ablaze.

Within the misty forest of my memories, your soft wet kisses call my name.
Within my daydreams of tomorrow,
we sleep in each other’s arms.
And within my wildest wishes, you claim me to be YOURS
Kichiya Hayashi Jul 2020
Dear Stranger
I'm sure we've met before
With your crooked smile
Makes me ruminate like deep oceans
You have galaxies in your eyes
Your tears are shooting stars
Does your mind seems a little too clouded?
Does your heart seems a little too loaded?
If goodbyes are expensive for you to say
I guess a shred of my soul lingers pensively to your veins
By then you'd know
You won't find me
to somebody
else
Kichiya Hayashi Jul 2020
we all have 'favorites'
from movies, food, music, hobbies
the list is no ending
but having favorite people is beyond compare

we build memories with them
we established relationships
they are part of who you are
they makes us happy and comforted

but life in retrospect, our favorite people becomes strangers

the people that pops in our head the moment we got big news
the people we are so eagerly to see and hug whenever we're low
the people that basically a part of your joyful future

they turn into strangers

for bizarre reasons sometimes we couldn't fathom
they gradually pull away
and you're just there watching them do so
because the truth is

we can't force them to care for you the way you expect them to be
so put extra value for those who chose to stay
show you care and appreciate them
they don't have to be many
you don't have to be loved and adore by many
just keep on treating them right
and if one day

one day..

they decide to walk away from you
you get to smile while holding back your tears
saying to yourself...

"That stranger used to be my favorite"
random thoughts. I'm inspired by this Korean drama: My Mister.
Kichiya Hayashi Mar 2019
I love unmade beds
I love when people are drunk and crying and cannot be anything but honest at that moment
I love the look on people's eyes when they realize they're in love
I love the way people look when they first wake up and they've forgotten their surroundings
I love the gasp when people take when they watch their favorite character dies
I love when people close their eyes and drift to somewhere in the clouds

I FALL IN LOVE WITH PEOPLE AND THEIR HONEST MOMENTS ALL THE TIME

I fall in love with their breakdowns and their smeared makeup and their daydreams

Honesty is just too beautiful to ever put into words
Kichiya Hayashi Aug 2019
Though he guards his heart
Built in blocks of stiffness
Yet his eyes sparkles when he smiles

Passionate indeed...
He glows here and there
As he talked about oddly written unsolved murders from the books randomly picked up at the bookshop

Such a mystery...
To find a man so deeply, completely and absolutely doesn’t care how he looks wearing my spongebob shirt on when we went to a charity event and still managed to wear his charm and wit naturally

Doomed...
I’m starting to feel those tiny thunders in my veins
I must be under his spell

Chivalry is dead; He proved otherwise
A gentleman in his very own ways, culpable timing
But I don’t want to think about you that much Mr. Prosecutor
Yet here I am dreaming about you and at the same time, terrified

A good terrified like I would run and jump off the cliff knowing I won’t die
It inspires me to be me, to reach my grandeur

Hopeful...
A little bit more scared
wishing and waiting that righteous time will come and pleads the Gods to succumb me, that one ethereal moment
The sun is my witness
Calmest wind swirling altogether with falling leaves

And then there’s you..
Your suit and tie savagely fits every inch of you
I ran out of words
Should I just give you a kiss?
Kichiya Hayashi Oct 2019
I wanted to be the person that will look good with you
but its not working out the way I wanted to
No matter how deep my love feels in my heart
The more I realize we’re living in two worlds apart
Kichiya Hayashi Jul 2018
notice that when we meet in the road,
we pause.
and notice that in that pause we meet.
Kichiya Hayashi Jul 2020
an unknown comforting vibe
that magically makes your soul revive
surrounds you when you listen to sad melody
the soft slow and painful words sinking deeply
feeling every pulse of your hand
writing our names on the sand
Kichiya Hayashi Jun 2018
Lost and not yet found  
How can this life be so unfair?
The unfathomable emptiness in me
Pushing me to my very edge

Everyday I’m screaming
Pleading for help
For care
And safety
Nobody hears me
I’m a fountain of tears
Trapped in a human body
Kichiya Hayashi Mar 2019
kay tagal ko ng naglalakbay
paikot ikot
di wari
kung saan ang tamang tungo
dulot ng matinding ngalay
ang aking mga nagbubutil na pawis
patuloy na dumadaloy sa aking pisngi
ngunit tila ang aking mga panunuyo ay iyong pinagsasawalang bahala

tuwing sasapit ang dapit hapon
tumatanaw ako sa mga ulap at tala
aking minimithi at pinakahihiling kay Bathala
ay iyong makamit ang kaligayahan at kalayaan
pagkat lubos kitang iniibig
nais kong pakawalan at ipasantabi
ang aking makasariling damdamin

sinta ko, kung hindi ka liligaya sa aking piling
marahil ay hindi na ako ang inaasam ng iyong puso

walang humpay at tila walang katapusan
ang sakit na mawalay ka sakin
ngunit may mga bagay na wala tayong kontrol

mismong
tadhana ang nagdikta
ngunit hindi ko magawang makapagpaalam
Kichiya Hayashi Jul 2018
Feels like plain
and
peaceful all at once
ocean scent lingers
through my skin
emotions scribbled
and leaves are falling
skies darkens and
soul is weary
unfolding bliss
as I continue walking
Enjoying the wind ^^
Kichiya Hayashi Aug 2019
I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till I drop.
This is the night, what it does to you.
I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.
Kichiya Hayashi Jul 2018
Do I need a compass to point my direction to you?
Is there a map to guide my feet that wants to crawl back to you?
This enormous darkness clothing this road
My only guide is this bruised heart that used to glow

You said I can find you amidst the sea
But these inverted signs confuse the hell out of me
And then I remember that sweet memory in my head
The warmth of your embrace that stopped my loneliness to spread
#MissingtheoldUs

— The End —