I should be sleeping right now,
I should be dreaming right now,
I should be dead right now,

But I missed you.

They first appear
With two clicks of my lamp
I invite the darkness seeping from my windows
Covered in a lazy blanket
I lay on my side, watching the lifeless room
Restless, but all the same exhausted

From the ***** laundry and the memories I keep
One stares harmlessly
My lungs began screaming and wheezing
My heart and brain nearly fried
My muscles frozen in sweat

One easily becomes many
Soon, every corner of my room glares back at me
I press my eyes close and pray for sleep
But their hot breath runs down my neck
And peels my eyelids apart, squeezing my chest
Forcing out a stuttering sigh
I have no choice

Click click
My lamp peirces through each monster
Until I can fight them on my own

They don't feel like themselves
Not anymore
They were different once
Now, they are like a shell of their former selves
They fade into the background
And slip through the cracks
Haven't you noticed how they don't laugh like they used to
Or how they hardly eat anymore and then one day,
Eat too much
They're afraid of doing or saying the wrong thing
They can't help but apologize
Because everything is their fault
They've grown a protective shield around themselves
But they still let someone in
And then the last pieces of them get slowly thrown away
They don't know or understand how they've become like this
They don't know how they became like this, or when, or why
They only have the memory of who they used to be
Someone who was wild and open, who was down for anything
Who never had a bad thought
At the beginning sleep was still a refuge
It was like being dead, but without the commitment
But now, even sleep is hell
When was the last time they didn't wake up after a nightmare
They have nothing but the memory
Of who they used to be.