You're not abusive
But if thats true then why do i feel a stomach churning sense of dread when you walk through the door?
You're just protecting me
But if thats true then shouldn't I feel safe?
You're just teaching me discipline
But I thought parents weren't supposed to hit their kids to the point of bruises.
You deserve my respect
But why don't I deserve yours, Mom?

was it selfish
when i chose
to end our friendship
because
you
grew to become
toxic?

i was saving myself.
that's not selfish.
it's self awareness.

i didn't deserve
a toxic friendship.

I come home
After faking a smile
And curl up on my bathroom floor
And sob
Silently, of course
I’m broken and I cannot be fixed

We are nonbelievers
Our skin sparkles in that light
We glow from past mistakes
And trauma fuels our fight

Never speak of pain
Or wear a wound on our face
We're better than that, mature
Mentality-a constant race

Emotions are a betrayal
Hints of suffering in our eyes
Pain dusted across our face
Lives being woven through lies

I am a nonbeliever
And with that, I stand tall
But a part of me decays
Every time I see another angel fall