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RobbieG Oct 2021
Premeditated sin
called my name
oh so familiar

15 minutes away
Saturday night
hole in the wall

Couple beers
lead to a
couple shots

A game of pool
40 dollars in the
juke box MUSIC

FADED

Amidst these
what could be
BAD DECISIONS

I called my mom
told her I needed
a D.D to get home

SAFELY

I woke up
in my bed
rather than a

CELL

My truck wasn't
in the driveway
thank ROB

I RELAPSED RESPONSIBLY
RobbieG Sep 2021
Movies were invented to
"MOVE US"

Old movies are the
"BEST"

Movies adapted to
"MARKET US"

New movies are not the
"BEST"
RobbieG Jun 2021
To the degree of mastery
no college
forget the
masters degree
A bachelor amongst
associates
life is just time
How do you spend it
who gives a ****
what you got
Please tell me how
YOU FEEL
is it all a dream ?
is it relevant you care ?
Or are you afraid
living week to week
a never ending
NIGHTMARE
Yeah I have my faults
my insecurities are real
But I vent those out
on here so they can’t be near
MY TIME
I spend it well
I live life to the fullest
I rise up slowly but surely
with my friends and loved ones
on my back
RELIABLE
I rather be eye level
with my peers
than looked up on
I hate looking down
on someone
REGARDLESS
Last week was Pennsylvania
this week Michigan
Next week 8 days off
before going to Ohio
I love my job
because I get to
TRAVEL
I love my job
because I get to
take multiple weeks off
Money can’t buy happiness
but it’s a good down-payment
TRUTHFULLY
I got the job, I got a car, I got a camper, I got a truck, I got a couple tractors, I owe nothing to no one, so someone please tell me why I can’t be happy?
I don’t have bills I have titles, I don’t live check to check but rather wreckless, life of the party, I’m the hostess, I create environments second to none, my main focus to create
a good time
I may not spend it wisely
but I spend it good
bonfires, cookouts, parties
If the mood is good
then better believe
it was on purpose
Mr know it all
they call me
not because I’m arrogant
but rather they know
every variable
that could go wrong
I thought about
amongst my plans
1-2-3 and A-B-C
i got a solution
for problems
that may never
SURFACE
RobbieG Dec 2021
Raised a slave to mental-disorders 
Momma bear hibernated when it came to LAW AND ORDER 
No Papa bear but a ton of 
WILD ANIMALS
I love Mother Nature 
but HATE her MAMMALS 
I received the most love 
and healthy interaction from 
ACTION-FIGURES and 
STUFFED ANIMALS 
heartless creatures 
with no brain damage 
Raised a slave to mental-disorders 
Peta mightve been more alert than child services 
As I served my 16 year sentence 
If only I was a dog it would've came 7 times sooner 
Now an adult by the government's standard 
I AM FREE to deal with 
THIS MENTAL BAGGAGE
RobbieG Nov 2021
Brain in overdrive 
producing mighty thoughts 
releasing ideas 
transfering out my windpipe 
pushing out from my mouth 
HEAVY WORDS 
with much truth 
in the message 
they spread unbiasly
for all to hear and see 
THE BITTER TRUTH
coming out in the 
rawest form 
subject to 
hurt your feelings 
but not on purpose 
these thoughts of mine 
have no alterior motive 
nor any self-benefit 
wether you agree or not 
the verdict is 
I MUST RELEASE 
all that i think 
so please decide 
for yourself 
what words to believe 
what words to grasp 
and hold on to
or which ones 
you should 
RELEASE 
and let go 
Storing the significant 
messages 
and point of views
that make sense 
using for self-growth
Ignoring the words 
that dont mean the most 
TO WHO?
You! not me 
these are my thoughts 
I created them 
from this fragile brain 
in an effort to grow 
I have decided 
to share them all 
not just for my benefit 
but for others 
WHO CAN RELATE 
and through trust
or relationships built 
we can grow together 
through......
SHARED COMMENTS 
Helping one another 
through relation of 
LIFE'S PROBLEMS 
believe it or not 
we arent the only ones 
going through 
THE SAME ****T
So let it out 
the good, bad and ugly 
I wont judge 
but rather try to help 
I wont pour gasoline 
on your fire 
but rather take comfort 
in the warmth of 
VULNERABILITY 
because its us 
who you decided 
TO TRUST 
with your 
FEELINGS
RobbieG Nov 2021
Your heart hurts 
Its a thunderstorm 
tears from above 
keep pouring down
clouded visions 
from past storms 
cover the thoughts 
from your subconscious mind, hope hides above 
never within reach 
"TEACH ME HOW"
your voice screams, 
to break the doubt 
to let love in 
tears keep pouring down
waterfalls below both cheeks 
pale skin, sweaty palms
LET IT ALL OUT 
mEnTaL-bREaKdOwN
damaged brain 
broken heart 
insecure reflections 
tough love 
fictional intentions 
unacquainted values
DAMAGED GOODS 
please im begging.....
" LeT tHe DeMoNs OuT!"
RobbieG Jan 2022
I got a knot in my neck
I got a lump in my throat
I got a whole in my heart
and there's only one......
It's her
RobbieG May 2021
I hate love
that’s just the
heartbreak talking
not me personally

I love love
that’s just the
optimism speaking
not me personally

I want love
unconditionally
that’s me speaking
personally

When that happens
if it truly exists
Then I’ll take a stand
and have a voice

I’ll tell people
they are stupid
for hating love
and I’ll tell people  
they are smart
for loving it

But until then
I’ll let my
feelings
do the
COMMUNICATING

But until then
I’ll remain
BITTER
RobbieG Feb 2022
You look at me
I stare at the ground
Not from fear
but rather disgust
You look at me
I could careless
I wish it was different
but I cannot undo
All the pain you caused
all the lack of love
You look at me
only from photos now
You're dead to me
I hold my head high
Only looking up
because I deserve to
I cannot love you
for all the scars caused
You made me learn
everything on my own
In fact I taught you
solely from trial and error
Not because I wanted to
but because I had to survive
You look at me
but never in my eyes
Because you don't deserve me
nor ever loved me right
RobbieG Aug 2021
Ignore me freely
but please beware of the trap
my words captivate
RobbieG Feb 2022
I went from having nothing to owning everything and to what do I owe all my success? ACCEPTANCE
I went from having nothing to owning everything and to whom do I owe all my success? MYSELF
RobbieG Dec 2021
A ​Trojan Horse 
wreaked HAVOC on those 
who thought they were 
receiving a gift 
F##CKED

IRONY 

A Trojan name brand 
wreaked HAVOC on them 
who thought they were 
being safe, when it broke 
F##CKED 

TROJAN MAN
RobbieG Sep 2021
Chase 🏃‍♂️
               what you
                        can't have

                                      🏃‍♀️   but
                                  run from
               what desires you

​​   🤷‍♂️Its human nature
RobbieG May 2021
Left foot, right foot
back and forth
Faster, faster please
these issues might
CATCH UP

You can’t do this
voices whisper firmly
Stop, stop please
you can’t keep
DOING THIS

Your shoes soles
forever wearing thin
Quit, quit now
quit running scared
AND AFRAID

Be brave , face it
REALIZE it’s not
your fault
However it’s now
YOUR CHOICE
RobbieG Oct 2021
Fear motivates us
I refuse to be afraid
Fear demotivates us
I refuse to be scared
Fear is necessary
I refuse to be afraid
Fear is unnecessary
I refuse to be scared
FEAR IS MADE
NOT BORN
FEAR IS WITHIN
NOT ABROAD
FEAR NOTHING
NOT EVERYTHING
BE FEARLESS
Sad
RobbieG Sep 2021
Sad
365 days in a year
365000 tears in a year
but I still say
that I'm okay
I just really miss her
I just really regret lost love
but I still say
that I'm okay
All my friends know I'm not
all my friends know I'm lost
WITHOUT HER
Sad
RobbieG Sep 2021
Sad
Love me, love me, say that you'll love me
Hurt me, hurt me, say that you'll hurt me
I RATHER FEEL PAIN THAN NOTHING AT ALL
Broken, bRoKeN, forever BrOkEn
RobbieG Apr 2022
When I'm high, I become the guy, that when I'm not, is hard to become, but when I'm low, I become the guy, that when I'm not, is hard to overcome!
RobbieG Apr 2022
"I never speak statistically because statistically speaking I shouldn't be able to talk!" RG
RobbieG Jun 2021
Hours left to live
the doctor said so to me
so it must be true
RobbieG May 2021
Mental health
your brains gravity
When it’s missing
your mind is gone
Outer space
in orbit rotating
Thoughts of self hate
afraid to be yourself
Always trying to be
someone everyone
wants you to become
So you fit in
where you can
get in
That’s no life
for someone
Where’s the self-love
a foundation of self-worth
you can build from
Lost in translation
your subconscious speaking
a dangerous language
Crowded contradiction
mixed with clouded values
Not aware of the disarray
because your whole life
you have been this way
Born a star shinning bright
with each day and night
they took the sparkle
little by little out of your eyes
and every year
you began to fade
until now and it seems the dream became a nightmare and your faded all the way away from anything that resembles back in the day when you felt okay but now you don’t and won’t ever, it seems no matter the whispers you hear of a different pattern waiting for you to jump ship to but out of fear you’ll drown , you remain stuck abroad a battling one knowing you can fight just fine all the hits and adjectives you’ve taken to the flesh and ears both relaying to the heart your worthless,  still hasn’t broken you yet so why chase a possible outcome that might lead to positive change or it could cost you your life but isn’t your life costing you yourself and then the doubt kicks in , the door is wide open and that scares the hell out of you being vulnerable so you quickly slam it closed and put the chain and bolt through the receiver as you twist and turn the deadbolt and lock on the doorknob , falling to the floor sitting Indian style against it with your head down this is where you feel the most comfortable but yet there’s a whole world out there but it doesn’t matter because regardless your heart and passion your mind can’t just fathom the fear of loss for hope to gain your a train wreck and it’s not your fault but **** it you must deal with it because the real culprits don’t give two ***** about the mental warfare they started and left you to handle but you aren’t willing to grasp it , your mind can’t wrap around what needs to be done you keep questioning every thought that might lead to somewhere more positive , the bad always outweighing the good so you justify staying the same and remaining a pawn in the victims chess game serving a life sentence of giving into a past that is behind you and forgetting about the future ahead of you out of fear of your own thoughts ....... lost.... hurt ... insecure..... bitter... mad....angry....unworthy...sad...decided....undecided...can’t make up your mind , hostage to comfort of bad patterns not realizing a whole other side to this dark spectrum , not understanding why , not realizing a change necessary to carry the burdens and discard them, but you keep giving up on yourself as a result of lack of confidence , why do these feelings always work against you , you ask yourself . Does anyone care and the answer is never as much as you do about yourself so why won’t you quit giving up and give in , why keep sitting head down in the comfort of your sorrow dreaming for tomorrow to come and it be different knowing you’ve remained the same versus standing tall , head up and taking today and making it your own so tomorrow will follow today’s lead and today’s grief tomorrow becomes yesterday’s pathetic sad story and tomorrow marks the beginning of the new chapter filled with battles and disasters but as a result of the pursuit to laughter and happiness , so get up off your *** and quit feeling sorry for yourself and make today’s problems tomorrow’s yesterday’s and tomorrow’s story a happier one than today’s
or NOT , it’s only your choice to make!
RobbieG Nov 2021
Mentally ill 
decisions made 
based on 
the sickness
Well now 
I feel healed 
but left to 
endure the pain
Because decisions 
were made 
that cant be 
taken back 
Selfish was I 
for taking to long 
to finally get help 
Selfless i was 
when I realized 
just how ill 
I really was 
to make decisions 
but that was then 
this is now 
Im way better 
but stuck with 
the aftermath 
If i could go back 
if i could rewrite 
the past pages 
knowing then 
what I know now 
I promise, 
I would've 
NEVER GAVE UP 
On you, on them, on us 
ON MYSELF 
These thoughts 
cost myself 
wet cheeks,
heartache,
mental pain 
STRAIN 
Ashamed 
sums it all up 
regardless the growth 
regardless the change 
There's one thing certain 
Ill never live down 
the endless pain 
SUFFERING
RobbieG Nov 2021
When searching for happiness one may find that the hunt is filled with so many ups and downs that its just easier to be content with 
BEING ALONE
RobbieG Mar 2022
Hugs and kisses 
accept our differences
Rockets and missiles
accept your decisions 
Love can conquer all 
but so can hate too
RobbieG Dec 2021
Contagious energy
provides gravity
Creates comfort
becomes contagious
RobbieG Nov 2021
Among her various shades 
my favorite by far 
Is when
she can just be herself,
far far away 
from judgement 
Beneath the sheets
skin to skin 
my favorite shade of hers 
among them all 
by far.... 
Isnt a shade at all 
but rather 
just her 
in the rawest form 
All the labels are gone 
appearances lost 
along with the 
namebrand clothes 
her makeup now belongs 
to the bathroom's 
washcloth 
as I enjoy the view 
to who
she really is 
while holding her 
in my caring arms 
Safe and secure 
away from harm 
far far away 
from her various shades 
In my arms 
where she belongs
RobbieG Oct 2021
From the deep-end then
to calm and shallow waters
finally at shore
RobbieG Nov 2021
Square tiles 
line the floors 
Square files 
line the drawers
Square piles 
stacked from 
the floors to 
the ceiling 
Blocking the 
doors to the
files upon the 
floors preventing
the drawers from 
OPENING, secured
RobbieG Jun 2021
The front door is unlocked
yet it houses your most prized possessions

But the safe is fireproof, hid and locked yet it houses items of monetary value

The jewelry, the cash, the titles, the deed, the marriage certificate and etc

It all can be replaced, it all can be gradually moved on from
FORGOTTEN

But our family members, friends and loved ones will never be
FORGOTTEN
RobbieG Mar 2022
Piece of mind within 
Dedicated to create 
An escape to peace
RobbieG May 2022
It's all the same... literally not much cannot be the same. People, problems, ideas, issues, etc, etc, etc... We're all the same!
RobbieG Nov 2021
Nightmares scare you 
but do they men
that sleep during the day 
working third shifts 
might just be 
the real nightmare 
Knowing your loved ones
are at home asleep 
by themselves 
thats no way to live 
to give or take 
the darkest hours 
from the ones 
that deserve 
your piece of mind 
for protection 
But what do i know 
i spent nights asleep 
in the backseat 
of cars 
traveling backroads 
as a kid 
with strange men 
who partied with 
my mom 
Truckstops
hotels
motels 
holiday inn 
blankets from a single bed 
make great cots 
for little kids 
more like tents 
did i pretend 
to stay hid 
from the evil sin 
If only it couldve been 
imagined at night 
when in deep sleep 
but these arent 
nightmares 
but rather 
childhood memories 
I stare in the eyes 
having to accept 
when i look my eyes
in my face 
My least favorite 
REFLECTION 
I HAVE EVER RELIVED 
I ******* hate 
the devils comfort 
I rather freeze 
to death 
than be warm 
from his flames
RobbieG Nov 2021
My purpose 
isnt to service 
unwanted ears 
from sharing 
childhood fears 
from past years 
Its not my destiny 
to become someone 
that must share 
all the darkness 
for hopes it might 
help someone 
besides myself 
CALL ME SELFISH 
for this selfness 
i surround myself in 
i wish i could be 
more selfless 
but to imagine 
what that means 
when i was 
an acquitance of 
everyone elses needs 
but mine 
when i was a kid 
Emancipated at age 17 
runaway with 
a pregnant girlfriend 
just the icing 
on top of the cake 
of mistakes 
I wish were fake 
but are far to real 
the scars exposed 
host the bitterness 
exposed in me 
from years of 
bad habbits 
being the 
natural habitat for me 
poetry saved me 
poetry gave me 
a fighting chance 
the last dance 
before death 
was interrupted 
by words wrote 
on a bar napkin
before the rage 
took over the daze 
before the haze 
ended the self-slavery 
to mental health catastrophe 
as I gave 
my last words
meant to be written  
a second chance 
glanced at my last 
vision as I published 
a mind releasing poem 
and recieved comments 
of uplifting support 
yet another soul saved 
rEaLiTy 
kindness saves 
more than hate
COULD EVER STEAL 
Thank you greatly 
POETRY 
Im not worthy 
of your poise
RobbieG Apr 2022
Every girl in my life was the salt, I always was the ocean, she came along and covered all my wounds and prevented the burning! 

Every girl in my life is the salt, I always am the ocean, she left a long time ago, exposing all my wounds and left me burning!
RobbieG Dec 2021
Scars on a body
like tally marks
on a chalkboard
More to come
before I'm done
these lines provide
COMFORT
Or so I thought
they come with
an expensive cost
Lost battles and
irreplaceable time
but I must keep
SCORE
Scars on a body
like tally marks
on a chalk board
More to come
before I'm done
these lines provide
REFLECTION
RobbieG May 2021
Crazy and lazy
a bad combination
I know what it takes
to fix me but it’ll require
a ton of work
RobbieG Dec 2021
An eye for an eye 
you killed, life taken 
your life, life-sentence 
Privatized business 
storage sheds, store cells 
concrete walls and floors 
Privatized profits 
it's all just business 
where's the main focus 
Privatized answers 
no rehabilitation
no help for the helpless 
Private eye for all eyes 
that decide to break the law 
profits soar as crime does too
Privatized Government
who really knows now 
what is going on ?
Well my eyes are wide open 
my ears continue to fear 
words spoken and more so 
the words that are not 
Privatized statistics 
the numbers always fall 
in the direction needed
to feed the viewers views 
from the media noose 
Privatized comfort 
.......no comment........
for this topic.............
Privatized fear
the list goes on 
like Buzz Lightyear 

"To infinity and beyond "

 

Privatized victims 
for the men in power 
you know the filthy rich 
making profits off the 
" PRIVATIZED MARKETS "
RobbieG Aug 2021
Time will tell
or so they say
I’ve heard otherwise
or so I say
How about you?
what’s your take?
Time eventually
will run out
Then what
takes place
You only know
what they want you to
You only hear
what they say loud enough
You only see
what they allow you to view
Time cannot
set you free
Time cannot
uncover the lies
Because even time
can be taken away from you
Just like life
they go hand in hand
Face the facts
you just seek
What it is
you desire
Waiting will **** you
LITERALLY
RobbieG Jul 2021
Yourself
must come first
BEFORE
Others
can come first
MENTAL-HEALTH
So
please help yourself
BEFORE
Others
keep coming last
Appetizing thoughts
RobbieG Oct 2021
Through yourself
With yourself            ⚫
and
In yourself
It's where the truth resides
It's where the battle begins
It's where the WAR is won
                 Through yourself
      ⚪             With yourself
​​​                                         and
                            In yourself
RobbieG May 2021
Heart on my sleeve
Knife in my back
Eyes opened wide
Nails with jagged edges
Body covered in bruises
Internally broken to pieces
Shattered like a mirror
My reflection currently scary
UNFAMILIAR

Mind tired and weak
Thoughts keep intersecting
Creating contradiction amidst
THE TRUE REALITY
Insecurities fog loves sky
Past trauma keeps resurfacing
Lately a struggle just to breathe
I have only myself to blame
FAMILIAR
RobbieG Mar 2022
My heart beats the same ****** tune it always has since she left, I cannot stand the sound but it's not her fault......IT'S ALL MINE!
RobbieG Jun 2021
Lately I’m not myself
I think
thats good
who I was before
I’m told
wasn’t good
it’s hard for me
to read
to dissect
to leave good feedback
for others
for friends
even my undeserving family
I’m sorry
it’s a
phase I’m going through
I apologize
to those
to who
to you, him, her
My flaws
are greater
than my strength sometimes
it’s sad
it’s mad
it kills me inside
to hide
to write
to fight these demons
hang on
let go
either way I understand
I didn’t
try to
ever plan this ever
but it’s
the reality
of my current situation
it’s hopefully
only just
a phase right now
not later
not again
but it’s who I
AM NOW
RobbieG May 2021
Which came first
the chicken or the egg ?
Or better yet .....
Which came first
you or me ?
RobbieG May 2021
Call me selfish
but when we took
our new love
off life’s shelf
I expected it
to be perfect
but as we built it
it became apparent
we weren’t just missing
one or two pieces
but rather many more
Was it out my fears
from previous years
or was it just lust
convincing the both of us
that the love making
romantic weekends
and one on ones
would be enough to fix
all the issues
we were facing
amidst a mixed family
with 2 different generations
of confused people
all with our own issues
the biggest one being
TRUST
But call me selfish
because I still desire
the love regardless
the pain it costs
because a second with her
I’d gladly exchange for a year
of my life versus a lifetime
without her love
RobbieG Apr 2022
"Your words were just words before this site, you had no ears, eyes or heart to hear, see or feel your pain. Well please quit taking advantage of mine, I have my own story to tell!"
RobbieG Nov 2021
To be conditioned 
never to notice others 
that may need our help
RobbieG Mar 2022
"Friendship is overrated, there's always someone putting in more work than the other, I rather focus on myself then see everyone else around me grow! "
RobbieG May 2021
WHAT DO YOU MEAN ?
Please just give me a name ,
tell me there’s a pill, or a specific treatment that can fix this but please ... Whatever you do, don’t tell me it’s all
IN MY HEAD !
FU*KED

THERE HAS TO BE SOMEONE ! That can fix this problem for me.

THERE HAS TO BE A PILL
I CAN TAKE!  That can help take my issues away.

THERE HAS TO BE SOME KIND OF TREATMENT! That can provide me a cure.

BUT... If you expect me to believe there’s nothing you can do to help me and this is all: SELF-INFLICTED , than I’m definitely ******* !
RobbieG Dec 2021
Umbilical cord
you kept me alive and well

Those 8.5 months 
weren't nearly long enough 

As soon as we 
became quickly unattached 

ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE 
everything heard from within 

Was in fact not an act 
it was MY NEW WORLD 

Umbilical cord 
we were separated at birth 

Oh how I missed you 
when I left our earth 

You always fed me 
safely we remained together 

UNTIL BIRTH
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