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Because plates are little and shallow
A buffet should provide a fellow
A bus tub instead,
One made out of bread,
With compartments for gravy and yellow.
In connecting buffets with a dish simply called “yellow” I’m drawing from National Lampoon’s Vegas Vacation.
This heirloom china wants to slip
Out of my tremulous grip.  
But plastic’s less heavy,
And nicely holds gravy.  
It bounces if ever you trip.
Another limerick about heavy dinnerware
Because light and durable dinnerware
Is low-class and not debonair,
The china that shatters,
Those slippery platters,
Enliven dining with a jump-scare.
I still remember my grandmother's heavy gold-rimmed china.
Because a losing player tosses
Monopoly boards and their houses
Sharp corners await
Mom in her bare feet.
The agony one board-game causes!
I promise this is the last limerick about Monopoly, at least for a while.
Hasbro makes a Monopoly game
Durable because sometimes we blame
The board for our troubles.  
We never roll doubles!
So flip the whole board.  This is lame!
The game of Monopoly was designed to be frustrating.  It's an indictment of capitalism.
It’s fun to collect money for passing
Go but ahead hotels are massing.  
Competitors bought
The railroads.  You’re caught!
You can’t outrun landlords by racing.
David Plantinga Dec 2024
A top hat that skims on its brim
And cars built with wheels that don’t spin
Vault from Baltic to Ventnor,
Streets you don’t pay rent for.  
If they land on Boardwalk you win.
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