I sit by your side and I am faintly aware of how much noise I am making

I try to catch my breath without you hearing

I can feel the dirt and particles dance across my hands and I feel disgusting

I look at you, you are how life should be
You are clean without trying . Your body isn’t demanding of space.

This skin of mine is an ill fitting outfit and I want it off .

Your pure white petals caught my meandering eye
And your bright yellow center glinted gold in the sun
A stranger may have seen you and kept on walking
But for better or worse , I stopped down and picked you

Now I keep you in a glass , it’s all that I have
With some tap water from the downstairs sink
I put you in the window to give you some light
And watch as you start to die.
Your white is tinted with a grayish hue
Your leaves are frowning at me
I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I wasn’t capable of taking care of a flower
And now it is too late

You tell me to look at the bright side
And I’m trying
My windows are nice
But covered in blinds
I don’t remeber what the sun looks like
This old house
Collapses slowly
And I stand and watch
With no feeling at all
at least now I can see the sun

One day I hope you cry
Not because of your sorrow and not from fear
But because you see the most beautiful thing in the world
Because you discover the meaning of life
Because you look directly into the sun and feel alive  
One day I hope you cry
Because somebody knows you fully and loves you
Because you are so happy
That you cannot stop yourself
From letting out a tear

The roses you spent all spring trying to grow were crushed in a moment
The rain was too heavy, it fell too fast
They are gone now, there is no changing that
Its cruelly ironic to think
the very thing those flowers need to live
Killed them in the end
I know , I know
You loved the roses
I know the hours you spent with them
I know how your back aches from kneeling over them
I know
But I promise you this terrible storm
Will make new flowers
Sprout up in their place
New flowers for you to grow
New flowers for you to love
All because of this rain

She was like music,
and I longed to dance.

Her heart was the beat,
and I begged for the chance.

Her words were the vocals,
and I was put in a trance.

Her smile was the melody,
and I fell in love at first glance.

Four walls painted the most artificial yellow I have ever seen surround me

I sit at a desk that has been written on by some poor soul who was tormented as I am being tormented now

I am told authority is beautiful
Fabricated moments of patriotism
Create an illusion of virtue
And in the same breath
I am declared a sinner
Unworthy of love from an entity of unconditional love
I know they are wrong
I know they are hateful
But sometimes , when I am left alone with my thoughts for too long
I believe them

How could I not? I sat at the desk for years being shouted at

This is the truth. There is no other way.

I think about the man who painted these horrible walls
What would he say if he were here?
Does it matter?
I will never know him now but somehow he had become a small part of my life , he has taken up a space in my brain no matter how seemingly unimportant  

These seem to be very trivial thoughts
And perhaps they are
Maybe I only think them to fill the time
To drown out the yelling

Either way I hope the man who painted these walls
Is better off than I