To Lose Everything and Die for it


Punch me know how it feels how it goes away too soon like its memory holding the pull of time holding out for something punch me in the guts how is it feels like pool of blood pressure lowing it feels like pool of blood holding a pitch in decay decades of forlorn expulsion of punch list of items in the guts free to call pulling me out of time call the feels like pool of blood holding a punch me know how it goes away too soon golden hours on methadone climbing and scoring a high from the closest thing to blood pressure lowing the punch me know how it feels holding on to the feeling like blood spilt on a pool of soil golden brown hasish found in my pocket and two years after that hit me in the guts feel how it goes holding a pitch and putt goal in mind to star in my own golden hours brow beaten path to gold punch me know how it feels
Holding up the rush of running to nothing a globe holding on to it like how is it feels golden blood pressure lowing the punch me in the guts how are we feeling blood holding up the acolyte it goes away too soon punch me know what you are missing golden hours on methadone climbing and closing gate to star in my own and operate a higher level than God holding on to nothing is happening fast as you running away from too soon punch me know when it comes to blood pressure lowering your thoughts down to memory card punch in the head all gone to her head now holding on my way to freedom of memory cells broken and missing like chemical reaction to antidepressants is so sad down in the morning and in my night time memory punch in the morning and night at golden hours blood pressure lowering your price list for closing gate to freedom blood golden brown hasish found in my pocket with the ticket to hell never gone through the whole day without your consent format time it moves around universe floating around your body slowing growth and you feel like punch me know how it feels like pool going too soon holding the pull out of your life holding the baby of love despite the gate to freedom of golden hours on methadone climbing and scoring a high good byeall gone to her head now holding on my way to freedom of memory cells broken and missing like chemical reaction to antidepressants is so sad down in the morning and in my night time memory punch in the morning and night at golden hours blood pressure lowering your price list for closing gate to time
it moves around universe floating around your body slowing growth and you feel like punch me know how it feels like pool going too soon holding the pull out of your life holding the baby of love despite the gate to freedom of golden hours on methadone climbing and scoring a high good bye

Stranded on Lonely Street my rags gone in with the wash my dress shred into pieces by an ugly violent man come hither young lady ‘oh just *******!’ following me I stop and stare ‘yeah what?’ he crawls backwards then runs across roads into the council buildings.
Gutter *******-my rot stench emanating from every piece of my core.
I am crud saved dregs from my mother’s hands rubbing the trash through my clothes. Wash hands Miriam every day: to ignore such warnings!
Now dirtbag I am killing stones uppity on L. St. We hover like lost lovers hurrying our parts number two the other half but they never arrive.
Back under the bridge. Shoot up some nice H; it soothes soul cleans out head rot rest sleepytime. Dark I stare upwards looking at the milkyway a-crashing star coming towards me! ****!~ Help! BOOM!

Memoirs of an Evening


Dig deep deeper — never good enough — no the psych won’t open up just for anyone — you have to be a special kind of person — one so scarred that even the track marks don’t show. Wear tear bare it well — tolerate the tension dread devil dog that comes with it.

Down hard tonight and in my mind wears a friend calling me back but I can’t go why not? Oh, ****! I need to go! No no you must be here for your mother’s visit.

She’s younger — like when I was a teenager — speaking eloquently — nothing as frightening as the demented dada painting that came later.

Forever Ever or Never

Forever does it exist? Forever is never doesn’t exist. It betrays hearts, breaks bones in its subtle nuances. It takes love, makes it eternal but it’s not. There is nothing just worn down cloth from the gaggery. No one has any right to tell. Love has no name so don’t expect it to deliver your ***** pleasures.

Aphrodite has a mirror_ it reflects your world of despicable lust. Her voice flogs those who use its dance for uppity pose.

Freyja was here with Eros flown away.
I am impassioned with this. Never borntrapped in mother’s ******screaming forever. But you released me. This hideous hateful horrid hobgoblin always down inside inner core gutter’s sewer range. Crawling with the dregs- scrags_ slags lovers who have been banished for a dream of sensuality.
Unbeknown to every scab here, I am to see_ relish freedom_ hovering, staggering towards my light, the golden globe IBurning gone but not forever as there is no ever or nowhere forgone. Person  of steel lifts me out of the gutter- carrys me on her back to the hollowmen hole. I’m gone.

Shallow Victoryprose for enmities 


Where were you when I was tied to a tight right fright fight flight- out of site- bed of nails?


Where were you as I climbed the river’s apex- onto the bridge to jump into the grubby gray filthy foul nubilous turbid Yarra River during afternoon peak hour?


A couple of years later I found a path that led me to solid ground.


The floor of leaves: ashen brown- dried from the autumn skies that frighten the forest walls lived my torso and mind.


Decision plus: chambering up the tree-big burly branches to hang on to or to just hang: whatever you please- I swung backwards and jumped down only to feel fervently frighted and let down by myself.


Bad reasoning is the corner stone of every neuro-domapine- lacking- serotonin- high- chemical- affected-aneurysm-apocolptic-trip-of- nine- inch holes- cranium-madness


Am I supposed to weep at a funeral every other time?


Or cry at birthdays?


I don’t know anymore.


Lost the music in the ears.


Loud as London buses.


To Camden Town or Finsbury Park


Back North where we lunch in Hampstead Heath.


Meeting with the dead-turning life into sugar- was my soul brain fed properly.


Nice to hear the dream come truly alive.


Ears are made of wax.


Eyes to peer in.


Tax merchants visiting their wards.


I exist as a soiled tar glum stolen by a grub ancient times ago.It’s about the whole rage. Ripping into your sick mind and gut stripped out of you like a lamb slaughtered.


Another organic area of bile.


Living with a sin or kin.


Blabber- bub-drums-it into a ball


Dearth path laugh quark


Dim- win-din-pinned and high on smack


Hot tot rot amaze me with your scream number 1


Bella- we all been one sometime

If I had to be a deity I would be mine for it is only one’s heart that keeps beating within the crown the handsome jewels adorning my torso grub beneath the surfaceI have heard they choose the lowly men for this job and so it is I your blasted heat blown in from the North wind chill factor 95 who walks the red carpet smiling down at you peasants all the **** from the village meandering mice for men filth grown up as female a rat disguised in a ruby gown who gaze upwards at my size gold rings and wealth of spirit
Open the hatch for me please see my time of dying.  My time has come

The Hunters Gathering

They gave me something I couldn’t find forever mine now dipped in brine *** end of cynicism cattle call callous catfight calling spitfire baby come on light my fire death to us part let’s gather our remorse throw it into the timber yard let it rust along with my other trophies of lust desire grief biding my time spits on her fits before injecting it ravenous like the eagle eye she has for this trade of grub watch the seaweed drown her mourners daydream saliva salty on the wasp love is taken here gone is the one who became lost in the hunters gathering.

Last Night I Made Love With SpiderWoman
Mimi Bordeaux
Mimi Bordeaux
Nov 18 · 1 min read






Here she is:-
Clawlike fingers or are they nails painted bird fell on my windowsill calling my name ‘Felicity, Felicity!’ I gelled up with some cookie dough between the thighs crunch curse not the CXurse cuntis kvnt open fingers entering oww ooh she nearly bit me neck bite tethered in braces she hovers over my lips ******* are they fangs? Kiss with golden tongue frolicking in the mouth so succulent her breath on my face lips of sweet papaya mango Mimi munchkin morning melt desirous delirous galavanting throw me over your shoulder WonderWoman! No she tells only the most serendipitous sensuous salts steaming from her brow hot legs shoot from the hip she has a gun it’s loaded pistol on your piston gunfire upload bullet for hire powderworks hut battle of the she grrls beautiful one last night I made love with Spiderwoman

Spiked Mulled Wine
Sweat like a corpse in a (dawny dowdy dawny) copse a forest of flies fire flight of twi-light seeblack-blue
opalesque pearlescent

nacreous pancreas lining
wining dining ending up with
the light of jesu
hindu master tweaks his little bells (out of) their shells

coapting coaxing
sticking it to the masses
passers by dreary teary bleary

feeling alone with your ***** dog ‘galbador’-real name — allyl cyclohexyl glycolate

why do I always look so socially drawny mawby scrawby lordy
baggy galpy scaredy catty claggy faggy end of this drive
eyes filled with pus?

cuss the weather
tether me knees together
going mad

already bad and sad
dad went years before and after mum did
leaving is all they know how to do well
it’s s a gift from my parents to scarper when the kids get too rowdy loudly
maudlin goblin mouldin thoughts on
one left side of my brain open cranial sacral chakra larkerseratonin my dopamine receptors
say hello to chemical imbalance of my lead head said
dead just alive

kept going by a senior psychiatrist who took an interest in my case file
larger than life itself
between two good neurones bashing clanging together

growing like a manic bipolar  transistor with a psychotic disorder
between two good neurones bashing clanging together

abruptly adroitly soulfully
she let me in
goll golly goldy go

comatose come home poem dome my tome reads like an amateur souless epiphany

head of aching shaking making noises of doom moon soon will be half shaped circle of like
please bring my elixir
its own packet
what’s that racket downstairs towards the bottom
back to me
head of aching shaking making noises of doom moon soon will be half shaped circle of like
fife mife byfe lyte lyfe pyfe myfe
brittle bendy bandy bones blown down drown

no sound when you’re under the water
immersed submersed macerated saturated ******
scouser
louse in my hair won’t go away

Meteor and the Starfilled Sky




One Night to Remember
SkyHow her hips curved glass broken placed on the mantle drinking of the sup. Dance of her hand holding my breath of fire. I am lit up flying out to her. A burning fever, there’s a snake in my belly coiling like this beast coming for me. Chief madness overtaking me, driving potent capture of her face in shadow light. Such pale skin like a foxhunter I grip you now captured.Forever is never ending ever desirous impassioned I have the will to eat you, crunch your body’s natural heat of laceration grip the handle of essence your scent of ambrosia take me now.

And so I came across your big ocean the bold seas of the Pacific, feeling your hands already the sensual flowing glowing through the skin. My eyes are shut down from the endless days of wine and talking all night through social media no real touch oh how do you make me feel like a real man I'm afire fervently brushing past the hoards of travelers rushing around excuse me I'm thinking of your body what is it like. There is no longer a wireless barrier between us our wires are cut mouths open to big brash kisses, my tongue will eat you luscious lady who changed my world. Oh hello is this true..is it you?