The memory of you emerges from the night around me.
The river mingles its stubborn lament with the sea.

Deserted like the dwarves at dawn.
It is the hour of departure, oh deserted one!

Cold flower heads are raining over my heart.
Oh pit of debris, fierce cave of the shipwrecked.

In you the wars and the flights accumulated.
From you the wings of the song birds rose.

You swallowed everything, like distance.
Like the sea, like time. In you everything sank!

It was the happy hour of assault and the kiss.
The hour of the spell that blazed like a lighthouse.

Pilot's dread, fury of blind driver,
turbulent drunkenness of love, in you everything sank!

In the childhood of mist my soul, winged and wounded.
Lost discoverer, in you everything sank!

You girdled sorrow, you clung to desire,
sadness stunned you, in you everything sank!

I made the wall of shadow draw back,
beyond desire and act, I walked on.

Oh flesh, my own flesh, woman whom I loved and lost,
I summon you in the moist hour, I raise my song to you.

Like a jar you housed infinite tenderness.
and the infinite oblivion shattered you like a jar.

There was the black solitude of the islands,
and there, woman of love, your arms took me in.

There was thirst and hunger, and you were the fruit.
There were grief and ruins, and you were the miracle.

Ah woman, I do not know how you could contain me
in the earth of your soul, in the cross of your arms!

How terrible and brief my desire was to you!
How difficult and drunken, how tensed and avid.

Cemetery of kisses, there is still fire in your tombs,
still the fruited boughs burn, pecked at by birds.

Oh the bitten mouth, oh the kissed limbs,
oh the hungering teeth, oh the entwined bodies.

Oh the mad coupling of hope and force
in which we merged and despaired.

And the tenderness, light as water and as flour.
And the word scarcely begun on the lips.

This was my destiny and in it was my voyage of my longing,
and in it my longing fell, in you everything sank!

Oh pit of debris, everything fell into you,
what sorrow did you not express, in what sorrow are you not drowned!

From billow to billow you still called and sang.
Standing like a sailor in the prow of a vessel.

You still flowered in songs, you still brike the currents.
Oh pit of debris, open and bitter well.

Pale blind diver, luckless slinger,
lost discoverer, in you everything sank!

It is the hour of departure, the hard cold hour
which the night fastens to all the timetables.

The rustling belt of the sea girdles the shore.
Cold stars heave up, black birds migrate.

Deserted like the wharves at dawn.
Only tremulous shadow twists in my hands.

Oh farther than everything. Oh farther than everything.

It is the hour of departure. Oh abandoned one!

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

when the world ended,
i fell to the floor,
tears rolling down,
the future tore.

heart in my throat,
my jaw felt weak,
you held me tight,
you kissed my cheek.

when the world ended,
your hand on mine,
softly caress,
fingers entwined.

no whispered words,
you let me be,
your quiet strength,
meant the world to me.

And on that day, when the world ended,
you held my hand,
you stayed with me,
you made me see,
my world could be...
mended...
again...
someday.

The reason for the existence of the universe is for us to see what we really are.

Through out time we have been experiencing every single aspect of the universe, of life.

It is neccessary for us to go out and get lost in the world in order for us to come back home.


Life is the game of games.

Life is a play of consciousness.


When we begin the whole journey of life as consciousness, we must go unconscious.

And our goal is to return to consciousness.


It is very important that we are as aware as possible when we are experiencing everything and anything from life and the universe.

Every lesson of life has to be learned and understood before we can go beyond life.


In order for us to know that which is unlimited and immortal in us, we have to first see that which is limited and mortal.

If we never experience unconsciousness, we will never know what consciousness is.

Every single one of us is a spec of consciousness finding its way back to its source.

At some point we are bound to get tired of life.

Because although life is beautiful, life also contains uncomfortable and unpleasant experiences.

Like for example, being sick.

Although life is beautiful, we are bound to get tired of it.

We are bound to get tired of sicknesses, diseases, old age and death.

We are bound to search for that which has no death, which does not get sick, which does not get old.


When every single aspect of life has been experienced, we are bound to search for the eternal.

We are bound to search for God.


There are mysteries that can be known and there are mysteries that can not be known.

Those mysteries that can be known bring us peace and those mysteries that can not be known keep us in peace.


When ever an experience or a situation is there for you to experience, it is important that you put the mind aside and that you don't look for the answer in your mind.

For example, if you are ill or very sick, you might desperately start thinking why this has happened to you, for what reason must you go through this.

If you want to know why such uncomfortable things are, you have to put the mind in silence and allow silence to answer you.

If you don't silence your mind, you will keep asking why but you will never get an answer that satisfies you.

You will go back to healthiness but you will not know why sickness was.

Therefor, next time you get sick, again you will ask the same questions and if you don't allow the answer to be revealed by the sickness itself, again you will miss the lesson.


A sickness is suppose to remind you of that which can not get sick.

A sickness is suppose to teach you the balancement that must be kept in order for you to stay healthy.

A sickness is simply just another teaching of life.

You have to allow the sickness to teach you and allow yourself to learn.

And in order for you to learn from the sickness, you have to remain open to the sickness.

Don't condemn the sickness thinking "this should not be" .

Instead, see what it was that got you sick.

See what it is that will make you healthy again.


Everything that this world contains, good or bad, is supposed to be a teaching for you.


So it is important that you remain an openness in all moments during all situations.

Don't close yourself with believes.

Remember that the mind is not the master.

Remember that the mind is a servant of the master.

You, consciousness, are the master.

One is the language of words and the other is the language of silence.

Very few people i can talk to with the language of silence.

Still, with the language of silence i can talk to the whole universe.
With the language of silence i can talk with the plants, the animals, the stars, the moon, the birds.
Yet there are very few humans whom i can talk to with silence.

To talk to another human being i use words.
Words are a kind of art.
They are a creation made by humans.
A creation consisting of a bunch of symbols in order for us to point things out. We want to point out a car, we say "look, thats a car". We want to point out a flower, we say "look, there is a flower". Word is the human communication that we have created so that we can point things out and so that we can function in the world, the outside world.

But silence is a more deeper language.

With silence you penetrate and connect with the being in deeper levels. It consists more of feelings. It is a deeper communication that silence brings. Words can only point to that which is. They can not actually give you, explain to you, express to you, reveal to you, in total truth, what is. Silence can do this.

The evolution of consciousness is introducing this language to humanity.

Humanity knew the langugue of silence but humanity got really mixed up and really got puzzled with words, in words, in the laguage of words, in the language of the mind. And my feeling is that this confusion and this lost that humanity got itself into, for a period of time, was neccesary in order for us to come back home.
Now the consciousness is moving with its flow.

It is so amazing to see how much humanity lost touch with its nature.

I know the language of silence because i have spended much time in silence. And not just that outside of me things are totally silent but inside of me also. Inside of me there exists a silence that i have really gonne deep within because ever since i was born into this body that goes by the name Esteban, i have felt that silence within me, and at a certain point in life, i started to get confused. But there was always this silence within me that was above and louder than everything else.

Outside of me there exists the world that we see today and humanity is just so lost and confused in words that i was losing myself too. Because the whole humanity is lost and i am here walking around the world, notecing that people dont know this language of silence. And it is only humanity that lost touch with it. And now how to connect everyone else with their nature? how to communicate this silence to others?

Everybody has to come back to themselves, everybody has to stop the outside world for a bit and spend some time with themselves in silence. Just in peace.

It seems like humans are on auto-pilot.

We come here into existence, into the world, and from the moment of birth and up, is like we are just following society, we are just following what people tell us, what our parents tell us. We just go on that track that they give us and why are we not following our hearts? why are we not doing what we want to do? we are so afraid to explore. We are so afraid to discover truth for ourselves and we are just relying on the information that is allready here. We go on believing everything we hear, everything that is said to us. And whats up with the purpose of life? Whats up with the movement of the universe?

The humans are trying to have control over everything .

The humans are trying to make life how they want it to be. The governments and the religions have done this for so long and have used lies to prevail. They keep saying, "this is what you have to do, this is what you have to become, you have to struggle, you have to fight, compete" and then they say "this is what will happen if you dont follow, this is the reward and this is the punishment". And we grow so much fear that we follow. It is so sad and silly.

And here i am seeing that this is all just a wonderful playground.

That the planet Earth is a playground for the consciousness to explore, to discover, to evolve, and to play and have fun, and to create.

To create beauty on planet Earth.
And yet we have and are still creating such ugly things.

Nuclear weapons and wars? Private territories and divisions of race? Polluting and destroying nature?


Each one of us has to become a leader of ones self.


How to give you the experience of silence?
It can not be done.

You have to experience it yourself.

You have to experience silence because when you experience silence you will know things without a doubt.

You will know the truth about everything.

And so you have to become a master of yourself to get to that point in which there is not a single doubt about any-thing.

You know it all.

I speak the language of words, yes to communicate with other humans, and to get things done, create things, have fun. But i mostly use the language of words to try and talk about the language of silence. To try and point to the language of silence.

And i encourage people to practice silence, to practice meditation.

To explore and study themselves as deeply as possible.


The university will not reveal to you the universe.

Life and self-study will!