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Back in my blackout era
I was more agreeable
Things weren't as egregious
Because nothing was in focus,
Now I'm a gaslighter
For finding illumination
And trying to offer you light?

I've stammered down
The starless streets
With hands outreached
And a heart on my sleeve

I've curled up on the tile floor
Behind a locked door
Loaded up with legal poison
Wishing I just wouldn't wake up

Back in my blackout era
I was filled with rage and sadness
Almost teetering on madness
Because I just couldn't heal
While I kept injuring myself
I am not gaslighting you by
Standing by as your street lamp
You walked across me
As if walking on
An icy pond
Ready to crack
Throwing words
Of bitter cold
Into the sharp
Bitter wind
Seasons come and go
Ready for change
But death
Has already
Taken place
To know that silence
Is just a pause
A pause to water the cracks in the dry earth
For the shoot to breathe a sigh of relief
Be tickled by the gentle breeze
A tiny shadow under the sun
It takes nurturing to see the plant bloom
And silence to experience
The stillness of the calm
I’m stuck between a letter and a word
pushing towards the end of a line
in many a meaning, I’ve shamefully erred  
to make sense of a sentence and a rhyme
all this effort consumes me
It bleeds my heart to think
my soul is weighing heavy
till poetry pours out of me like ink
many a thought often slay me
I rewrite to find release
I’m lost, till you find me
crying out, “read me…please”
Poets are fools for pain
 Dec 2021 Michael Perry
Khoisan
Love is bittersweet

as
it
laps
around your feet

deceptive coastlines
 Dec 2021 Michael Perry
Emma
In a ghostly purgatory
Of mist and copper ferns
We drove atop the world
Towards Baltimore, and the cold sea
The bone-dry air

Where we ate and laughed like better times
Nostalgic nights of youth
The memories now aged with time
Like bitter vinegar to wine
the red glow of her cigarette.
the fingers of her left hand
yellow  with nicotine
clutching dying flowers

"buy a rose for your lover," she says,
"buy one for your wife. buy 2."

"the flowers are wilted."

"maybe it's your eyes that are wilted.

she had black hair
black as the night
the violent night
and gray eyes
the shade of ***** ice

"you must love
someone,
some of the time, no?
put a rose on
your father s grave, then."

"love is like lost pennies
falling from a broken jar."

she smooths her hair with one pale,
long, fingered hand, "you re crazy."

"my mom says so."

i was born to
have adventure

I followed her up the steps.

i was born to chase the night
through the forest
of dead roses.
She had that
octopus smile,
always reaching for
something.
I was her small
fish; her handmaid.
I lived in her nebulous
world for far too long.
Inky confusion...

There's a reason for
your treason, said the
old man to the shark,
but Hem forgot, a beast
is a beast, they do
beastly things.
We all have to eat.

I'm done being the
meal.
It's your Ocean,
I'm just trying to
swim in it.

You're an oyster,
and I want your
pearl,
but I won't drown
for it.
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