Who am I ?

I patiently asked....
But my answers were not answered....

As i sit under the shed drinking a hunters
I layed all my motives
Under
My heart racin.... that's
A sound of a thunder

Who am I?
Asked my father
The answers i got....
Deviates from one another....
I thought of me and I
But they was the other....
My self
Hidden behind the shelf
Taking orders like an elf
Pointy ears
Strange fears
I heard
All in my head

Who am I in your eyes?🌹

Tick tock  minute goes
Who knows….
What will happen when lights are low
As I creep to your light darkness follow
Carrying sadness, depression
With no expression can express….
If I had a setting I was going to reset
The time so it won’t be my last
But a beginning for a first start
To do it all again
Without causing any pain
Or sorrow to contain
Forgive my last
Inorder to be forgiven and given…
A last time that will be different from….
My last…

Luck✨

I take my time
I look back
Dark back then
They wonder when...
I will be back to my ways

I admit that change
Is strange...
True....
I will love to be the old me
The cold me
With no feelings for anyone and live my days in the dark....
But as time change my days came with light....
Those who hurt me they regret...
Cause they see
How great am....
With you...
Am with you
I have luck to be with you..

✨Luck✨

hope i will
I hope i will feel
I hope i will see
I hope i will do
I hope i will stay
I hope i will meet you
After life.
Gone are the days...and
My hope
# our last conversation

Am alone
At home
And you are gone
Going through our pics
On my hand is a glass of champagne
Am trying to drown the pain...
I still feel your presence
Your consciousness remains...
#Missing you😔

Obstacles coming stop signs
be aware....
envy and hate...
am on my way....
underground movin..
like a miner...
i dig for what is Precious
doors shut
they won't let us in...
self made...
they didn't make us....

Life i live...
its like a dream...
tired of breathing...
siblings fighting...
spirits colliding....another
dimension damaging...
at a miner age...
i saw the life of the person i love...
end...love inside of me died..
when people i care about left...
leave me empty...
i was alone.....
at home...

Life i live...
at age of 16...
i had suicidal thoughts....
depressed....praying...for...me to stop
breathing....a purpose of living...i searched...
surface i scratched...
nothing or something maked sense...
emotions...tense...
future....i live the past tense....
i see... i never talked about it again...
pain and anger built...
i wonder when it will
collapse...pieces...
so small can be a danger.....

Life i live...
friends...enemies...trust cost...
finacial ain't stable....
love is a drug...
damaged me alot...
i used every penny i had...
to have it...
but it never help....
am hooked...
re-hab....therapy sessions...
got me locked...
**** i have issues....
**** smells i cover it with tissues...
i see my wrongs...
i can't right them...
time waits no man...
ohh man...
i wish you knew this is a poetry...
through story telling....
reality...sticks to me
like gravity...
feet on surface...  

LIFE I LIVE

Hope you happy
With your self
Hiding your true self behind the shelf
Taking orders from him
Like an elf....
I hope
I have couldn't said it better
Before.

Million pieces...
Stuck in memory lane...
You are the one am missing...

I know in this game of 2...
No one's is right or wrong...
Now am alone writing...
These songs...

To numb the pain...
All i do is complain...
You moved on...

With someone new...
You call him your main...

Am so lost...
I turn on *******...
To forget you....

I hope i will see the light...
One day...
And re-build my self from grounds you left me...

In love...i don't want any...
To my cycle that was kept small....

I never want to be in the middle...
I never love again...
Never trust again...

My heart shuttered...
Pieces scattered...
They can't be mend into one...
Cause i lost my self..

-kay😔💔