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angele Dec 2018
every time i let my mind wander, it goes straight to him, straight to the night, straight to his touch. lying there with him, and hoping it would last forever.  paying close attention to the places on my body where i felt pressure and warmth, his warmth, pressing into me.  trying to remember the feeling forever. the quiet and peaceful sound of his breathing in and out, in and out in my ear and his heartbeat, beating against me.  his feet slowly wrapping around mine and his arm gently going around me and pulling me close. and finally his hand reaching over and intertwining with mine.
my cheeks flushed as people came in, flustered the night would soon come to an end. i felt his arm reach around me as we sat up, and the warmth and comfort of his shirtless body gently wrapped around me. i felt his lips, so soft, press into my head, as he held me tight, and then my forehead as we said goodnight. such a small, but grand gesture.
i heard him say he didn’t want me to leave and wanted to live the night on repeat. didn’t he know i wanted to also? and i felt eyes on me, as if to ask why i was being cruel with my actions and leading him on.
i felt cold as i went back to my room, missing his touch, his softness, gentleness, and his warmth. missing him.
missing his hand slowly interlocking with mine.
i miss his laugh, it’s so real and pure. and he’s real.
no one else is.
angele Dec 2018
i feel like glass.
i feel like the word shatter.
this is what you have done to me with your abuse
this is what you have done to my heart
broken and smashed it over and over with a hammer.

i loved you-i still love you.
how come i still love you?
you break me as if i’m just one of your toys and toss me to the side again
and again
and again

and you have ruined me.
and you will again
and again
and again
until there is nothing left of me to break with your hammer.

and despite the uncertainties with how you feel about me and how you treat me…

i’ll always come back.
you know that.

— The End —