Looking back to my old days
Everything was in an endless loop.
From my birth land to my new home
I climbed so many mountains and walked.
Exhausting indeed but i didn't stop on a midway.
Looking back to my 12 years old self
Life became luxurious and better.
Since then  I started to know what is life really about.
Looking back at last year
I learned about  myself and others
Hardship stabbed me multiple times
But when the sun aries,
It heals my problems and dry my tears.

If i knew who i am
I would not have cracked my knuckles
Nor gritted my teeth and bit my tongue.
If i knew what i will be
I would have been lounging all day,
Waiting the God and men to feed and clothe me.
It's better if i don't know myself.
I don't wanna be a bad princess at the end;
But i can't guarantee i will not be.

I close my eyes
I wring my shirt
My head lowers down.
Evil, defeat again.

I laugh out very loud;
Earsplitting loud.
I make sound when i drink soup;
Disgusting and loud.
I talk with enthusiam;
Secrects become publicly announced.
Elephants' walks shake the ground and home;
I am sorry i can't walk like cats.
I  am just loud
I am not lonely, don't you worry?

Days and night pass by
Your smile couldnt switch on my bedroom light.
I gulp down my inner voices;
Burning my throat and body.
I can just say," i like you"
Needing not to beat around the bush.
But it's so hard,
To move my tongue and say it bravely.
My words are not smoke
Dont put out with your cold heart.
On my happy moments,
I wanna share my joy.
On my sad moments
I just want to lie on your chest.
It is just a sick fantasy!
I hurt myself
With these fantasy.
I neglect my family and friends.
I hurt them.

By my side
I have nobody.
In front of me
I have big obstacles.
I walk two steps backward
And I bumped to my past.
I have nowwhere to go
I don't want to go back to my past
Nor stays in the present.
I wish I'm dead.

Wow,  i just know what u are
I was blind.
I  was too stubborn to read warning signs on your body.
I regret it so much.
I wish my dear sisters
Are not ignornat like me.