Many out of thousands of days,
Just wanted to sit quietly,
Listen to own heartbeat,
Stare at the empty wide wall,
Lay in bed stare again and ask what the **** is wrong with me?
And gathered in the lost memories trying hard to fix it as puzzle game and
Yell at the ceiling “******* “ .
Feel absolutely good doing nothing because for that moment I don’t wanna know where am l .
W.E

That heartfelt laugh
Never heard before
That salty tears
Never ran down before ,
When it dropped into my droughty lips
The heart felt the pain in that laughter of misery like never before
W.E

Crowed with people and music behind me plays circles by post malone
Stood at the corner
Was humming to myself,
Saw you playing with her *******,
Kissing her red lips,
Just stood still
Everything froze when you saw me standing at the corner of the room
The party plays memories
Couldn’t move ,
Saw you rushing to me,
The numbness and your explanations was the painful in my chest.
W.E

Expecting a lot form people,
You do lots of smiling,
Needing many things for yourself,
You have many needs to meet
Making plans to do first this, then that,
You’re mind is full of hopes and fears,
From now on! Come what may,
Don’t be like that.
W.E

Some dreams are ambitions ,
Some thoughts are wandering,
Some emotions are craving,
Some feelings are desiring ,
Some precious memories are fading
But some people are confused and confusing.
w.E

Everybody sees is you
And I’m the one who out of fit,
Crowded howls for your attention
I’m the one waiting for you,
Now I am standing on the edge of your spotlight,
Flashes and your designed smile
Is weakling over my heart ,
There’s a chance I might disappear,
Will you look for me,will you miss me
Like the cherry blossoms misses spring,
Like stars misses dark sky,
Like winter misses snow,
like soul misses a soul ,
or you would live like perfect fiction movie.
W.E

It’s seems the air is not enough for my lungs,
I feel everything is collapsed in place,
Something is pressing on my heart to death,
I feel sleepy and I feel part of me is broken,
And I wander inside my head looking for a picture that would make sense for I have completely forgotten.
W.E

Thousands of if’s,
Made me choose .
Maybe’s was seeding to hopes,
But’s made me imperfect.
All those if’s, maybes and but’s of your favorite confusions .
I say, stay in there,
You are conquering my mind that have moments of
grief ,
in all
He’s undisturbed ego,
often was
very good.
and when I let him go,
His ego trapped me forever ,
This story will never have an happy endings I worried all along .
W.E

sitting up in my bed
the llights out,
Listening to 60ist  jazz music ,
lifting my old
Favorite the kite runner,
letting the words of
the book
enter
me
as I heard the motor bike
Honking about the
room,
Shouting his love
That they gonna get late,
I preferred
Not peek outside
But my head already
Had a great scene,
The girl running with smile
Of apology
Seeing her flipping hair
In with wind
He gets flushed
They smile and shares the warm
Kiss
They looked happy inside my head
But my book was the saddest ,
I put out my book light stick to
Dream another beautiful illusion.
W.E

Today I saw shooting star in the dark sky,
It didn’t amaze me,
I didn’t close my eyes and I didn’t make a wish.
I just stood in still,
Stupid! I said to the sky.
W.E

we are lost ;
The bed,
The sofa,
The television,
The green eyed,
And our room,
The touch,
The smoke,
The darkness,
The thirst,
Asian brown eyed
And their lust,
Their love
Their desires and
Their body made a great poetry on solitudes of rumpy pumpy.

there’s
A good nights thoughts,
They are enough for me to wake up early morning and still
Think the world is
Flat and the sun
Is bored squaring;
People crawling.

Funny!
How they
Dream and make plans,
Knowing the end is
Like leaving forever,
You’re body won’t go,
You’re soul disappears,
You stinks,
The cold body pales;
It’s the end,
Naked body awaits to get burned and trun into  ashes.

They say
I’m crazy,
To talk about illusions
Compared to be better than the reality.
Morning clouds and the peeking sun is more magnificent inside my illusion,
How it makes me feel
Is undefinable ,
I am unable,
I am broken to get my vote
On illusion,
I’m illusionist
I can feel it’s beautiful feeling,
I can picture the sceneries so well painted.
Reality is harsh,
It won’t mind breaking
Dreams,
Trashing our hopes,
Kills the very nature of our minds,
It’s like a sad movie,
You pay to cry.
I am an artist,
The main actor inside my own illusions,
I am the  proud illusionist.
W.E

Not today is  to justify me, and answer what I am for,
But to love myself first as
I know who I am,
I am human changeable, influenceable and unity of ego- pride .
I know I am capable of everything  as humans loves to create the beautiful best into ugly worst,
So I am leaving my straight face to you so you can prove and define me ,
Definition of me can’t be so hard by now.
W.E

I drowned in the reality of people,
The deepest truth of my existence
Broke me at first,
I wasn’t ready for my  family lineage,
Never wanted to be the next heir of wangdee industry,
I ran in darkness,
Drove down hiding into forest,
I starve, the thirst for finding myself ,
Brought my mind into point,
The point of nothingness,
The morning sun rise into woods,
The singing bird and no clue sounds
Adopted my rushing mind,
I sat,
Analyzed the very key point of living;
The stable mind, the mindfulness and the very own mind.

being lost,
being crazy , being weird maybe
is not so bad
Like
at night walking the streets for
hours and thinking
the moonlight is nothing just a fake
if you can be
that way
undisturbed
and
Knowing you can't beat death but
you can beat death in life sometimes or
Maybe I am more consumed by the way this something-ness is undefined
Or The mind is always ready for harsh reality.
W.E

I feel better when I’m into illusion,
Where everything is according to my head,
No guns, no sadness, no clinging, no dreams, no ignorance and no people.
Only me floating sinking in out with nature,
Reality is harsh full with millions of talking people and talking is not in me.
I recognize myself more in those illusions and there is no one who could stop me from falling in love with my self,
I tried to love one person but he showed me reality of phony and electronic madness trying to fit in the world full of mindless people.
So I love me.
W.E

The clock is ticking,
The room is cold and rusted radio is playing old good song helpful for my unorganized mind,
The lost old dog by Charles Bukowski is kept open as the wind is being so hyped,
The walls ain’t talking once they used to now they just stares at me blankly,
Ticktock on wall, saxophone sound from radio and hyped wind makes my bones move ,
Radio ain’t going to stop nor the wind is slowing down and my body is super exhausted that I finally couldn’t hear the tick tock but The walls are still starting blankly and sat on the couch, smiled hardly, there was rushing of sweat from my body and That was one good method to clam down the unorganized mind.
W.E

There was nothing wrong in the sky this morning,
It was oceanblue , clear and clean,
Birdsong, the sunshine and lines of whitish appearing-disappearing.
Everything was perfect like an art of Vincent Van Gogh’s painting,
In perfect form of the sky I felt the  pain of impermanence,
I saw the art in the sky and it’s beautiful was for a second that my eyes couldn’t frame it inside my head any longer than one minute.