running in circles

in this

purple sky sunset

she's the only one

to bring me out of the blue

feel the air getting thin

flies on my open eyes

same old songs

new cracks in the foundation

the whole family's in the living room

watching static on the tv

it's this snow globe I live in

shake up my world

it'll all come back to me eventually

My mother treats me as if I am 2 different people.
My mental health,
And the child.
I do not exist in her mind.
I am broken,
Useless.
I am not me.
I’m not allowed to be me.
“You will be the happy girl you used to be.”
This is me Mom. This is it. My mental health is part of me. There is no going back.

And when the metal digs in,
I feel alive.
The the pain meets skin,
I fantasize about the oncoming pour.
The stream,
Drip... drip... drip.
If I had the courage,
The bath would be full of crimson.
But I am weak.

Missing you is toxic,
useless,
never-ending,

A waiting game for “next times” and instant happiness that wears off the second you are one step away from where I am standing,

I weep and weep but you never hear me,

You just tell me that you
Miss me too, you
Want to see me too, you
Are hurting too, but
Do you cry at 2am every night because you miss me,

As much as I miss you?

They say the pen is mightier than the sword,
but I chose both.

It's composed
In a tiny little block
Add water
And it can't control itself

She's composed
Everything is fine
Until someone adds water
And she can't control herself

Her water is her name
Her water is her past
Her water is the constant reminder
That she didn't tell

Her water is not being able to love you right
Yet
If anything could bring her back together

It's you.