You cried when You had to face betrayal
Did such a sin make You feel the veil?
And if so, since we feel this curtain
Is feeling death so certain?
Must it always be at my side?
Must I always want to die?
I’m in-between, two meanings
And I find each side can be fleeting
You seeing, my meaning, friend?
Is it seeming we must always be between
Always lost if we’re being honest?

Wax catcher, shake it out!
Catch all the gunk in my head
I rather stuff you in my ears
I prefer a wax catcher rather than Scripture
Because it’s a lot more simpler
There’s not much to it, and no chance I blew it

Jesus, I want the skin on Your bones
How am I Your kin if I’m the only one alone?
Did you mean it, did You feed it?
Was all lost, up on that cross?
Jesus, I want the skin on Your bones
To show me You win when You roll back that stone
How’d You stay awake those three days You were dead?
Because it’s the weekend again and I’m so lonely, unfed

READ THIS PLEASE, I HOPE IT HELPS

Intro
(My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?
Why are You so far from saving me, so far from my cries of anguish?)

Verse 1
You midnight poets
Do you know it?
Do you show it?
Do you plan to blow it?
Saying “Is hope so far from this moment?”
You poet at heart
The night your art
It’s the poet that wrote it
But it was you and you know it
You’re still awake
So don’t debate
The reason you stay

Pre-Chorus
I saw my Kind but I was blind to their eyes
Before I realized I lied to my pride on what’s inside
But now when I cry I realize the reason Christ died

Chorus
I felt chills for the thrill
The bill of what they ****
So I plead to dread what they said
The thread of those long dead
And I felt it in my head
But with the need I am indeed
Unable to read with tendency to bleed
I see, but incapable of feeding
I saw the rot and decay
The King came to stay
So I will say, so I will say
Shoot your gun my way

Verse 2
I am not as fine as I make it out to be
I am not as cool as I doubt to seem
Oh God, am I only enough for surviving?
My God, I barely feel alive
I want to be thriving, living a life more than just getting by
I cannot see my soul but I know it’s cold
Mold me I told You but where have You gone?
How can my heart, stray so far
The very thing keeping me alive
I’m feeling cold inside, oh Adonai
I haven’t held it in sacrifice, oh Adonai

Pre-Chorus
I saw my Kind but I was blind to their eyes
Before I realized I lied to my pride on what’s inside
But now when I cry I realize the reason Christ died

Chorus (x2)
I felt chills for the thrill
The bill of what they ****
So I plead to dread what they said
The thread of those long dead
And I felt it in my head
But with the need I am indeed
Unable to read with tendency to bleed
I see, but incapable of feeding
I saw the rot and decay
The King came to stay
So I will say, so I will say
Shoot your gun my way

Verse 3
Listen it’s important and informant
To the dormant storm that we conform to
It’s a door that no one likes on foreheads
Confined to our earbuds, all that does
Is wrap up, our cut ups, and rope ups
Until the music can’t muse us
And the next day we’re gone, so far from
What I should have done
I’m staying awake tonight
‘Cause if I lie, who might fight
And my peeps might have nothing to site
So I write for us to stay alive
I do anyway, out of fright
For those who might die

In the hopeless, I notice
Take a moment, to hold it
In the focus, I notice
Take it, embrace it
The taste in, the grace of
The Father, His water
The breathing, is lingering
There within, I’m feeling, seep-ing, in

We don’t need to adjust to society
Society needs to adjust to us, for our justice
It’s injustice to make a fuss of us
So do the slits in our wrists conflict
With the holes in the hands of Jesus
Or can He use our tools that fool us
In His hands if we believe He freed us

Bridge
I worry this part of the song
So don’t sing along
If you don’t belong
Stop and end it
So I don’t bend it
But if you’re suppose to stay
Know it’s okay

Verse 4
Suicide’s always been an option
Oh no—I did it again
Well, I’m trying to be real
So can you be sincere?
Nothing you need to worry for
Just enough to know the door
But I sometimes consider doing terrible things
So if You don’t mind God
Show me You’re winning

‘Cause spring is the most depressing season
It’s seeming the worst time of the year
Because we think by then we’re in the clear
But God does not wait in the spring
His nature of love forever reigns

Break 1
Has hope ever wanted to make you **** yourself, though?
How do I keep going, even if I know it?
I see it there before me, but I still want to end it
I know it’s the endgame, but it just offends it
Like I won’t make it, like I’ll never shake it
Even though hope stands up for me to defend

Break 2
Why do I want to fall asleep forever?
Why do I want to slip my earbuds on?
Why do I find myself fighting back tears?

Verse 5
Nah it’s selfish so I won’t relish
The embellishment society’s selling
I sometimes consider ceasing
Finding some relief in this sleep
Maybe it’d be better for God, my peeps, and me
But as I write so you take away the knife
I look in and find my memories
So give it a second for life to resurface
Take a moment to switch the killing sprees
It’s there in your lungs, there’s a way to learn it
So for the sake of my peeps and me, you must believe
We’re doing anything we can just to feel free
What they’re doing, they’re cutting themselves
What we’re doing, we imprison ourselves
Either way we’re killing ourselves
So help us step out of this cell
Because I don’t know if they’ll live by the end of this track
Take a look and realize your mind isn’t on track
Walk with them, it’s what they lack
It’s okay to recognize the black
Or if you’re deep under the attack
I’m in the boat so I got your back

Bridge (x3)
I can tell that you wanna **** me
When I’m thinking it’ll be easy-er
Well, yer gonna need something stronger
Because you got the same ol’ routine
You aint got no new schemes
You’re the one that’s bleeding
‘Cause you know you don’t hold my meaning

Outro
(You are enthroned as the Holy One
They trusted and You delivered them
From You comes the theme of my praise
Before those who fear You I will fulfill my vows)

I think it’s high time to die
Because I’ve been coming back to life
Just for the thrill of it
I need You to **** me
Because I’m tired of taking my own life