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6.0k · Sep 2018
I choose joy
Gabriel Bonney Sep 2018
I use to let your care pass by
without a second glance
at the depths of your words.
You asked me how I'm doing,
genuinely and loving,
but I had convinced myself
no one truly cares.
It's just something you say,
I thought,
empathy is obsolete.
But you saw this in me,
I believe,
so you showed me
that you're not okay.
Then you told me
what you say.
And I'm still learning
how to say these words,
even as evil
continues to destroy.
"I choose joy."
One of the teachers at school helps the student leaders out with FCA, and she's really cool, been an inspiration and these words have helped me
4.0k · Aug 2018
Gabriel Bonney Aug 2018
this is your story
do not be ashamed
may this be the telling of your journey
let your hands open up like gates
and your fingers flow like streams
your plams, the palette on which you walk
the ground on which you scrape up paint
and you stroke your fingers
against the canvas your Creator has made
so may forests grow
and mountains be lifted
may oceans part
and the waters be stilled
by gentle kisses of reminiscence
and the introspection
of our heart's rythmic hum
all by the grace and power of God
because these poems are your story
so do not be ashamed
instead, may this be the telling of His glory
orenda | Huron | (n.) a mystical force present in all people that empowers them to affect the world

I think it's amazing how God can take our broken past, and use it so we can give a testimony to other people that shows them how God can take such brokenness and heal us so we're able to bring Him glory through that. So I encourage people, do not be scared to share your past; look at where you are at now, all by the grace and power of God, so share that with others. And I encourage you poets, do not be ashamed of where you once were or what you're going through now; as much as you may doubt, sharing those things will help someone who can relate to you
Gabriel Bonney Aug 2018
There are several books inside my mind,
one of which is a turning tide.
There are many rooms inside my dreams,
one where I balance on ceiling beams.
There are a couple bookshelves in my head,
one that hangs merely by a thread.

I have instances in my reality,
where I hold my breath cowardly.
I have a voice inside me, disguised,
that says I am a mad man and lies.
I have moments that tear me down,
so I fall and drown.

I have a God who fights my battles,
but still my head spins and rattles.
I've developed a tendency to do my own doing,
and that's why my fears are moving.
They move through the night out of sight.
But in reality, my hope is never losing.
Sometimes I'm able to let things get in the way of God. I even can let the artistic gifts God has given me take up more time that I read the Bible and pray, and even something so silly as that can give Satan a foothold and I can stray away from God. But praise Him for always being there for me to turn back to, for always loving me even when I doubt Him!

Shoutout to Hannah Christina S for the title of this poem, because before I couldn't think of one. Thank you, Hannah, and thanks for the inpirational comment
2.9k · Sep 2018
Daybreak / safak
Gabriel Bonney Sep 2018
I will stay with you tonight
Keep you close 'til morning light
Dawn will come, don't close your eyes
We will watch the new day rise
safak | Turkish | (n.) the first skylight seen during dawn or just before the sun rises
2.3k · Sep 2018
Come Autumn
Gabriel Bonney Sep 2018
Come, Autumn, on September wings
     Come, the quixotic aura this season brings
Welcome, the golden harvest, and its plentiful reap
     Welcome, turning of the foliage, falling to paint
     golden streets
Transpire, crisp air, with your sway in timber tops
     Befall us, pumpkin skies, where the sun drops
Betide to me, the lull and composure from you,
     calmest breeze
     Make yourself known, won't you please?
Recieve gladly, the crackling of fire beneath a silver
     Embrace the little things, for they will go away
Welcome, fall, the enigmatic emotion as the season
     Welcome fall, with open hands and blithe hearts
Come, Autumn, with the romantic feelings you stir
     Come Autumn, I hope to be lost in the ambience
     that is her
2.2k · Aug 2018
~ vemod ~
Gabriel Bonney Aug 2018
But the many words
I want to say to you
will hide within the
recesses of my mouth
like the fiery sun kneels
beneath the vast horizon.

But maybe in the pale light
of the midnight moon,
my words will be whispered
gently as you sleep,
and you will dream of me
and the words I wish to say.
vemod | Swedish | (n.) a tender sadness or pensive melancholy; the calm feeling that something emotionally significant is over and never will be back
2.1k · Sep 2018
deep thought verses
Gabriel Bonney Sep 2018
I write some things,
          and it seems so worthless
I say something,
       and it feels so wordless
  Maybe that's the purpose
Memories formless,
              deep thought verses
       Thinking comes to surface
     Rhyming to    plead something
                     Writing but I
               say nothing    I have
   not forgot            You're all I   got
Just trying to                           all stop
                       make the doubts
            So be  fore    you
                              go        --
      ­               don't walk away
   Eventually I will  have
                            l       ines       to
         offer      y  o u     But  you
    must stay --  be here         for
           what I       ' m
   go                           ing           thr
              oughSta_y.  by   my
s   I. de             &
             give*     Me   ~ timeYou
         mustKn     ow  that
                   my brain
may be    _   sick   . .   .   but I'll
                              be okay  .
But be concerned

2.0k · Aug 2018
Moonlight Scars
Gabriel Bonney Aug 2018
The moon has his bad days,
and sometimes he must go away,
but look how much he shines,
even in the darkest of times.
He has scars too,
but look how bright
he is in the dusk's sunlight.
So you will shine and so you will persevere,
so you will burn like a countryside star.
You will rise again because our God is near,
even when He seems so far.
1.9k · Sep 2019
Gabriel Bonney Sep 2019
Tower of Silence - Track 10

(( Stay low ))

Stay low, stay low
They say to shut the fire in my bones
I know, I know
If my bones are Yours, the fire, will grow

I wasted time, I wasted death
I think I thought myself of breath
I need to stand, I need to fight
I need to move again tonight

Verse 1
No one to confide, hiding behind walls that confine
A system where I’m walled in
A rhythm that keeps me in depression
Oppressed, restrained to digress
No, I don’t desire to—this pattern I craft fire to
A wall in my way that obstructs my view
Contained by the lies that set my life in skew
With the help of my Blood I’ll reach the top
With the sound of our Kind we won’t fear the drop

Stay low, stay low
They say to shut the fire in my bones
I know, I know
If my bones are Yours, the fire, will grow

I wasted time, I wasted death
I think I thought myself of breath
I need to stand, I need to fight
I need to move again tonight

Verse 2
Sometimes I’m able to see the other side
Then I’ll look back and find my mind is tied
These lies convince me I can’t get over the wall
They hype up the doubts and make me fear I’ll fall
Could it all just be one of these schemes
To make me believe in such silly things
What I say when I wanna be more
Make a move and make a break for it
Take a spray can and leave your mark man
Stand up and step out into our plan
Opportunity does not make me certain
But what I’m certain in is, we will will
We can leave this society
Join me in the face of anarchy
Help me destroy our old world
Join with me to build a new one
Rise up and fulfill your duty
Join me in Exarcheia

Wake up—Give up
Rise up—GiVE IN
(((Remember, remember)))

(( It seems so fun to let the worry inside
I can’t get the darkness out of my life, anyways
So maybe I should give in
Fancy the dark—it’s a habit
So maybe I should do it anyways ))

Verse 3
So let’s take this energy, this emotion this notion this dependency
Use it, to chose it, for others to lose it
stAY LOw, they say to hold our hope at bay
I know, but I don’t know if the spirits should stay
Demons in this room, should they stay or should they go?
Eyes in the dark, are they friend or are they foe?
Man gave names to all the animals, so no wonder we give names to our own
To what’s not in sight of our candles, what is hidden deep in our bones
It was man that labeled all the beasts, we crafted the dark on which we feast
Was it our duty to name our demons, could this have any sort of meaning
We’ve named the monsters under our bed
For some reason, it’s the blood beneath our skin
And we’ve neglected His blood instead
We’re only engraving our own extinction

( Though I am weak, still I need to stay moving
Still I need to stay moving )

Verse 4
You are tired, you are bruised
Your world is blurred, and so confused
Don’t give in to these neon lamps
Loneliness hyped and darkness vamped
The blackness seems to inspire
With the nihility we don’t desire
They lure you into a heatless light
You my friend must stand and fight
You, my Kind, you know both sides
I know it’s hard, the silence intensified
So raise your hands up even higher
I know your arms are tired and they have your ankles bound
So stay low to the ground and we’ll leave the freezing fire
Whether it’s the easy way or the hard way, it’s time
To decide which side of the battle you’ll side with
And I promise you, friends, the latter is mine

Though I am weak, still I need to stay moving
Still I need to stay moving

Stay low, stay low
They say to shut the fire in my bones
I know, I know
If my bones are Yours, the fire will grow

Though I am weak, still I need to stay moving
Still I need to stay moving
Though I am weak, still I need to stay moving
Still I need to stay—

(( We need to move again tonight )) .
1.5k · Aug 2018
Gabriel Bonney Aug 2018
This for the little brothers
And the widowed mothers
To the Sunday morning snoozers
And the gamenight losers
To the wimps in the schoolyard
And even the bullies just down the boulevard
Shake the dust.

This is for the shopfront greeters,
The youth group worship leaders,
For the early morning joggers and the late night bike riders,
And for the boy who's crush loves someone else
For milk crate ball players,
And for the wallflower haters
Plant the forests.

To the sleepers and the dreamers,
And to the bed-wetters,
As well as the lonely love letters
To the broken hearts who write poems
And the broken souls that stole them
To men who work for a family they never see
And girls who want a lover but they'll never be
Split the seas.

For the heavens you have lived and the hells you felt you have gone through,
For the demons who have overcame and the ones yet to be overcome
For the ones who have stuck with the Lord all the same
And the ones who don't yet know His name
For the fair-weather friends the friends 'til the end
The overnighters and the stories told at campfires
Move the mountains.

This is to the poet, and lovers who don't yet know it
To the writers but it's just a hobby,
The Debbie Downers who can't stop me
This is for the authors whose books is left unread on dusty shelves
And the girls who hate the look of themselves
To the ones, that when it rains, they choose to sing
And the winter you must endure to reach the spring
Shake the dust.

This is to all of you,
and I will say it again: shake the dust.
Because from the dust you were made,
and to the dust you will return.
So let this poem not be mere words that barely flow,
may this poet not just be another kid,
too quixotic to change the world.
But might my poetry be the notes
which your words are carried by.
Let them swing and sway,
a piece to our battlecry,
some sylable in your life story.
Because from the dust you will rise,
so carry the dirt with you
and take the world by storm,
for the ground you scrape from your palms
is the story you form.
dustsceawung | Old English | (n.) "contemplation of dust"; reflection on the knowledge that all things will turn to dust
1.4k · Aug 2018
silence amidst the seas
Gabriel Bonney Aug 2018
You, at some point, my dear friend, gave your sight to the bottom of the ocean
As you let the winds and the waves take you under
But still, even in your darkest night, the sea bed will not let you in
So you close your eyes, praying that you may still drift asunder
And embrace the darkness in which you swim

My friend,
I have not gone through the valleys of which you speak, and have not known the depths you are meaning,
But still I feel for you,
Because each of us is a human being,
And the pain you feel is nothing new.

So, friend, take you hands from over your eyes
for me. You may not want to hear my voice,
so I will pray for you silently, and offer
my presence. So will you take my
hand? Even if you choose to
leave instead, still: one
day you will stand,
and I will pray
until you
see the
I've always been concerned with the welfare of people, and I've always wanted to improve their happiness. And I'm still learning how to do that. But there will be some people who will want nothing to do with you and will by no means open up to you. I've faced this before, and other scenarios where I can only pray for the person. But, by the grace and power of God, there have been times where I'm told those prayers have been answered, and all I can do is praise the Lord
1.4k · Oct 2018
For now
Gabriel Bonney Oct 2018
I'm better today than I have been
But I can't expect it again to happen
Lately it's been worse than it has in a while
But I know it's just my faith under trial
I've been tested like a ship at sea
The winds and the waves have come to suit me
But I won't let the ocean pull me asunder
Gravestones won't burry me and take me under
In time I know I'll recover
Recently I've been worse than I usually am
I wonder if I've chosen it
Or if I can choose not to think this way--
How to undo it if I can
I know the night will come again
But to play a part in the dark will not happen
I can't choose every moment to live in the day
Even if I tell myself to think that way,
The feeling won't stay
One day I will get over this wall of stone
Though I know I'm so far from home
For now, I am fighting to reach the morning light
One day, I know, I will leave behind this night
I don't think we can just choose not to be sad. I believe you can be depressed and still have joy. I believe you can be joyful and still be suicidal. You can know God's truth, but that won't chage what's in your head. But in time, it will. Through continual trust in obedience, surrendering your faith to God day by day, things will get better. It'll be rough, it'll be a daily battle, but we have a hope, a promise that Christ has overcome the struggles of this world, and He will get you through. He has a life planned out for you, a good, pleasing, and perfect plan for your life. As long as you continue to fight, things will get better :) I promise!
1.3k · Aug 2018
Gabriel Bonney Aug 2018
You are made of stone.
As are we all.
We are all sculptures,
sculpted by the world.
But what the world will not tell you is
you are a masterpiece,
sculpted by the Sculptor.
You were made good,
your splendor carved by the Creator,
even before His creation.
The Almighty knew you,
even before a scentence
spoke the world into existance
in an instant.
He knew every chisel, ever groove, every crease,
etched in His image.
The world had convinced you
that you have a heart of stone,
but this is not so.
Though your exterior may be
as rough, inflexible, and ridged
as a rock,
your heart is written in blood
and laps against your rigorous appearances.
Your heart,
my counterpart,
is not made of stone.
It is a roaring sea,
of soul and emotion you have left alone,
and it longs to break free.
haecceity | Latin | (n.) the essence of a particular thing that gives it its unique particularity; the "thing-ness" of a thing--its individuality, specificity, essence of what makes it what it is
1.2k · Sep 2018
to the Sleepers
Gabriel Bonney Sep 2018
You may be conviced
You'll like it better when you're sleeping
But please hear this
Don't give to the blink
When I did, I found myself sinking
I fell asleep, internally bleeding
Don't start thinking
You may believe your sea is far too dark
But redemption is not that far
From the dark I turned to pleading, repeatedly
Asking desperately
"Come save me!"
And now I'm free
We tend to over-complicate things, including our salvation. When we're in these dark parts of our life or our thoughts, we think there's no way out, and we deny that Jesus can get us out of this mess. All we have to do is simply talk to God about it, recognize that He is still good and He can do unimaginable things, and ask for Him to help us out. And even if He doesn't do it when we want Him to, He is still good, and He is working for our good!
1.2k · Sep 2018
Eyes in the Dark
Gabriel Bonney Sep 2018
I use to let the eyes in the dark
Creep in my concious and part my heart
I would feed the stomach in my brain
Feasting on the thought that I'm insane
I'd lock myself in another room
As I would enter a state of gloom
I would write to rid a mind of wrong
Turns out the eyes would read along
I will avoid those eyes,
turn on a light,
and unlock the door.

The more I put my trust in writing rather than letting God take care of my emotions, the more I lose hope. So this poem is to say that I'm going to work on giving everything over to God before writing it, because that will help
1.1k · Sep 2019
Gabriel Bonney Sep 2019
He takes a second to step aside
He takes a moment to see his lie
And he decides to take a turn this time
But really, he doesn’t know if it’s for the worst
If it’ll be his demise, if it’s just his curse, at work

No one has really known his mind
And no one’s ever seen his eyes
And no one ever thinks behind
Not quite like he’s questioned why
But for them, it’s his own mind’s pride

He wants to close his eyes
But he can feel it in the prize
He can feel it in his tries
So will you step aside
To at least let him try
994 · Sep 2018
Gabriel Bonney Sep 2018
How many times must I
take it into my own hands
to burry my sin?

I pry at my terrain,
digging up graves
to throw my mind inside.

But the whole in my soil
is far too shallow,
so when the night comes and the rain falls,
I look down at the dirt
I've scrapped from my palms,
and find that my
****** bones
have resurfaced.

Do I not see
I am digging holes in my hands,
a trench within my mind?

Why have I not
laid my shovel down,
when Christ has already
etched in my tombstone
my sin, that's dead?

I cannot avoid the night.
I cannot outrun the rains.
But I can send all my sin
His way.

I want to fall inside
of You,
and fill up all the holes
in my hands,
revive all the graves
inside my mind.
940 · Oct 2018
Gabriel Bonney Oct 2018
I love storms,
to the point where I would go out of my way
to chase them down.
If I find on the radar that it will miss me,
I'd drive to wherever it would next be,
get out of my car to stand in the rain,
and let the storm surge around me.
In the same way, I love you,
to the point where I would go out of my way
to listen to you all day long.
If I find that you're avoiding me,
I'd kindly step into wherever you'll next be,
get out of my comfort zone to stand in your rain,
and let your storm surge around me.
I wouldn't selfishly wear a rain coat,
but I'd bring an umbrella with me,
so you can step out of your storm,
if only just for a moment,
and stand with me,
so I can remind you of the calm
after the storm.
to l.w. and for everyone else
934 · Aug 2018
Gabriel Bonney Aug 2018
Please excuse me.
How could I write something so contradicting?
To write something so encouraging, upbeat, and blithe
Amidst my unsteady thoughts, my weary heart, my muddled mind.
Maybe that's what we all need;
For someone to smile in this world so dreary,
Even as a storm rages inside.
But I don't feel it,
These poems backed up in my mind,
The care and love for humanity I had weeks ago.
Now my spirits are downcast,
For a reason I don't even know.
I doubt how I can tell you that I care,
When right now, all I want to do is be alone.
How can I preach it when I don't live it?
I walk, blurryfaced, down these halls,
Avoiding your eyes, deserting your fight.
And I'm sorry.
But I fear I'll put on a mask again
By telling you one more hopeful thing,
Because right now, doubt's my only friend.
My mind may scare you but please don't run.
Not sure exactly where these thoughts come from.
I think too much.
I'm falling asleep.
Stay with me.
engentado | Spanish | (n.) the feeling of wanting to be away from people and spend some time alone
871 · Aug 2018
Gabriel Bonney Aug 2018
She wished

                                                  to speak


                                                    it's hard to find the words.
                             words don't really describe how you feel,

     She tried              but couldn't.

     "I'm fine. Really, I am."
tetemae | Japanese | (n.) the behavior and opinions displayed in public to satisfy society's demands
839 · Oct 2018
October Breeze
Gabriel Bonney Oct 2018
Will you stay here
with me for a while,
your beauty in treetops,
your presence felt
through open windows?

Can I meet you in
the deep hours of night,
felt but not heard,
singing in the silence,
a blanket beneath still stars?

Or will you pass by,
so soon to leave me here,
lonesome and hallow,
not to settle around me
like the hasty winter's stay?
There's something about the crisp fall breeze
that's so calming
813 · Oct 2018
The March
Gabriel Bonney Oct 2018
I'm fearful when I play our song alone
I'm careless when wear our rebel clothes
I'm ready when we sing this on the low
They'll try to make you give in, but
The demons don't control us
I'm lonely when we forget about our revel
I'm zealous when we go marching in our yellow
I'm steady when covered by my fellow rebels
It's a lot more encouraging to me when people are real about their problems. I hate what we're going through, but it's nice to find people like me, and it proves that we're not alone. The demons in our head try to convince us that we are alone, and that it's not worth the fight, but when we stand together, when we tell each other our problems, when seek each other's help, we can make it out of this.
719 · Sep 2018
Gabriel Bonney Sep 2018
The blind can't learn to see
by opening their eyes
I can't abolish this gloom
by putting on a disguise
But through faith and trust
I can find my Lord
I will remain in prayer to Him
and abide in His Word
Even during this time where God may seem distant, we can still look to Him because He is present, and we can find comfort by abiding in Him
690 · Sep 2019
Gabriel Bonney Sep 2019
He doesn’t need me, but oh the beauty
That He chooses, us to be tools of
His light, to glorify, and lift Him high
And so I try, to testify the sky
With all my might, but my might will die
And even with all His strength
It still does not quite reach
My capability to make you see
To praise Him in my humanity
But I try to personify, Him and His glory
So one day you can see the full story
681 · Nov 2018
Gabriel Bonney Nov 2018
This is why I really hate the weekends
Because I'm faced with all my demons
They've been gone for a while
The silence is when I'm put under trial
When I'm tossed into this parched land
But I'll hold tightly onto the water in my hand
I'll rely on the peace granted through the pain
Like a drought awaits Your replenishing rain
Gabriel Bonney Oct 2018
I always look forward
to the luminous poems
you poets display.
But when I checked
my home page,
all I saw were thoughts
of suicide and deep
emotions of hopelessness
today. It churns my
stomach and burdens
my heart to see you
this way. There's a
place in my soul for
you, but that place
for yourself in your
own is filled with
decay.  You wish to
place a bullet in your
brain, but you're afraid
it will just ricochet around
in your head. You'r diseased
with what's behind your skull--
a dark black stain,
and it's true, we will
never know what you
fear for, laying in bed.
Nobody thinks what you
think--no one. And I'm
afraid empathy is on the
verge of extinction. I
know it's hard to say, I
understand it's not easy
to unbottle what's inside,
I get that it's even a
burden to let go of
what is safer to hide.
Stay alive for me, that's
all I want you to do,
stay with me, and I'll
try to save you. But
the truth is, I can't,
I can only be here
by your side as you
face down the hell
you're going through.
So I will stand here
at the edge of your
trench. I will do all
I can. But you must
fight. You must not
let these demons
take you down. It's
not easy. But I'll be
up here. I'll send
down my poems,
hoping to help
cast them out.
And when morning
comes, I'll be offering
my hand. We will stand
again, sharpening our
weapons for when the
sun reaches its grave.
But friend, you must first
live through this night.
Stay alive for me, please.
641 · Aug 2018
my wall
Gabriel Bonney Aug 2018
Once again, I've found myself up against a wall
I know because I've done it all before
Play pretend, I hear voices linger down the hall
I don't feel like doing this anymore
Can you hear the voice inside me?
I don't want to call you when the sun sets
I won't show you all my pieces
I refuse to give you my troubles
I neglect to let loose all my demons
Can you hear what my tongue claims?
Do you feel what I'm trying to say?
It calls you by name
Asking you to stay
My wall is trusting people, letting them know the doubts going through my head. Again and again, I put up these walls and I don't let people know what I'm going through, whether it's because I think it inconvenience them, or I don't want them to know, or I think it would be a burden on them, or I honestly don't want to let go of these struggles. But these people who care about me can see straight through the lies I tell them, and they cut me to the heart, with either truth or care. And I'm so thankful for that! I know no matter how many times I refuse to trust them, they'll always love me, and no matter how many times I doubt God, He will always love me!
625 · Sep 2019
Gabriel Bonney Sep 2019
I’ve been listening to music late at night lately
It hasn’t really helped me deal with the coffee
The songs bore, and even the new are dull
To the core, I don’t think I know between lull
620 · Aug 2018
t h e poet
Gabriel Bonney Aug 2018
I wish my hands would open like floodgates,
and pour fourth my heart held inside,
my fingers the hinges,
the pencil my flood
I want my words to beat loud like a boombox,
held high to give an introspective
thump to the pumps of
your heart

This leads me to ask myself,
What is the point of  t h e  poet?
What is its purpose?
Why is it that I want to convey
my heart through words?
Why do I feel it would help
to translate my soul
through poetry
when my only audience
can't even see my eyes?
What's the point?
Is it only for my own benefit,
A way for me to express myself,
To open up
To people whose eyes I can't see?
Or is a way for me to reach them,
The ones in which our eyes will never meet?
Maybe I'm thinking way to deeply
Perhaps I've had too much coffee
So tell me, poets, if I'm crazy
Of if you're just like me
the | English | 5. used to mark a noun as being used generically
611 · Oct 2018
Gabriel Bonney Oct 2018
Climb down
No, sympathy is not enough right now
How could you sleep?
I hope you're dead, yourself
If you'll only show up
Once we're done breathing
I don't want this to come across as mean. Although I hope these words convey urgency. There are so many, Sleepers, who ignore the problems in this world and the troubles happening in people's lives, the Heavers. They're barely hanging on. We need to be there for them, to cover them with our love and to offer our aid in fighting their battle. Otherwise, you better be wearing a mask, pretending to be okay when you truly dwell in darkness. For the Sleepers, wake up. Join this battle
589 · Oct 2018
Gabriel Bonney Oct 2018
I'm afraid of my voice
Of what it may sound like
I'm scared to death of what you'll think
Because it could be the death of me
I must take it slowly
Or I'll lose it
571 · Aug 2018
Gabriel Bonney Aug 2018
She asked me
where I get these ideas,
and I told her
it's things I care about
that just come to head.
But sometimes I wonder
if I'm the poet I say I am,
or if I really can
express how I want to help people,
because I waste my time writing instead.

He told me
I'm a godly man.
But you don't know my brain
the way you know my game;
you don't know my pain
the way you know my name.
You and I, man, we have
simular hearts.
Correlative stories, in a way, just
different parts.
Because I know what's going through
your head.
You put on an affectation but in your mind
there's a war instead.

Deep seeded self ambiguity.
Creeps in my conscious,
conjuring my fears.
Keeps me up at night.
My mind wanders,
I ponder my failures.
Fuels my dormancy.
It's the testing of my faith, I know.
I know the truth, then why am I guessing?
As if I forgot that I am set apart.
But still I feel like I'm less than,
ignoring my blessings.
I have been given His Word as
my protection.
I have been called to be His ambassador.
I'm His beautiful possession.
So Lord,
please do not forget about me
when I doubt you,
because honestly,
I'm no good without You.
547 · Oct 2018
Coffeehouse girl
Gabriel Bonney Oct 2018
I never really understood
Why you like coffee anyway
Having something so cold and bitter
To start your day

Or maybe it's just me
Acustomed to the customs of this world
A product of this day and age
And that why I couldn't see

A past so dark and dreary
Shown in your eyes cold and weary
Weak and beaten down
You fell away beneath the sound

To live again another day
In the quiet cliché of this café
Within the solitude of your own creation
You view the world through your imagination

That's why you would take a sip of bitterness
In this jaded and abstracted mind of yours
Now the only bridge to entity you'll let through
A gentle reminiscent of reality's grim kiss
A poem I wrote a while ago
541 · Aug 2018
Gabriel Bonney Aug 2018
Sometimes I go to a song,
or a person,
or a section of Scripture
when I don't feel so good
A place of safety and comfort
Perhaps you do too
whether it be a song,
a poem,
a place--
whatever it may be
A place to get away from the world
for just a few minutes
to recharge
to meditate
to take a deep breath--
whatever you may do

So here's a poem for us
a reminder
a hiding place
A place where the world can't get to you,
where you can drown it out,
where you can replinish,
At least for a few seconds,
before stepping into the world again
with open hands
A place of safety and comfort
To have,
but not to keep
Promise me that
It's not a weakness if you need somewhere to retreat to. Whether it be during each passing period at schoool, or when you get home from work; maybe you read a poem to ease your mind, or you read a verse from the Bible to remind you of the hope we have, or you talk to someone you trust who's going through the same problems you are; this is not a weakness. Although our circumstances may be different, we all find our safety in comfort in a certain thing. It is my belief this shows unity in humanity, that we all at least need a snippet of something uplifting to reach the end of the day.
I don't know what your latibule is, but ultimately mine is in God. No matter what I've done, or where I'm at in life, I'm always able to find peace and shelter in His perfect love. Sure, I find comfort in poems that relate to what I'm going through, and I listen to songs about my faith, and I go to people for wise counsel; but when I put my hope in something such as a poem or a person, and I latch onto that as the source of my joy, as if they were my Savior, my world falls apart. So these poems, these people, these places... they're for us to have, but not to keep.
509 · Sep 2018
blot of yellow
Gabriel Bonney Sep 2018
I once was a Heaver, just like you
Lost in a sea of solemn blue

My boat capsized at an early age
My mind was so detatched I barely remember this stage

Slowly I found my way back to shore
But I sometimes fear I'll end up like before

The night will haunt me still, with things I've overcome
The dark reminds me of what I can still become

So you see, I've had scars where a light is shone
And I've rowed in a sea that was not my own

I have found my breath and now I give it to you
A blot of yellow in your solemn blue
I've gone through depression, and I've gotten to know people who have. I hope that I'm able to use this to help others
504 · Oct 2018
Gabriel Bonney Oct 2018
I'm burning, but still cold
Is it concerning
I'm tending to this fire
But it never grows much higher
All I want is a spark
An ember in the dark
You are my torch in this dry space
Be my light between two places
I don't want to walk alone
As I find my way back home
I've been opening up to my friends about what I'm going through, and it's been helpful. And at the same time, it's allowed me to join their fight as well
491 · Oct 2018
Gabriel Bonney Oct 2018
I wonder if it's still you,
because no one else seems to fit.
448 · Oct 2018
Introspective Beat
Gabriel Bonney Oct 2018
No, I don't have writers block
I just felt pressure under the clock
As if there was an audience I have to please
Give me some time to think this through, please
I have not run out of art
I'm just looking into the beat
The blood has not stilled in my heart
I'm just trying to get back up on my feet
432 · Sep 2018
Gabriel Bonney Sep 2018
I go to
A place
To write
Or read
Or paint
A pleace
So quiet
So still
So appeasing
Nothing except
A light breeze
Lapping water
My notebook
And me
But sometimes
When I'm there
In a place
Of such beauty
And composure
All the things
I came here
To do
Get lost in
The lull
All I
Can do
Is drop what
I'm doing
And simply
Sit there
God's gorgeous
dadirri | Australian | (n.) the concept of inner deep listening and quiet still awareness; a 'tuning in' experience to deeply understanding the beauty of nature
405 · Sep 2018
Help me breathe
Gabriel Bonney Sep 2018
I don't know why
Some days I decide
I'm better off
Staying quiet
I neglect this world
And figure
It's better off
If I try not to
Transform it
This day

It's in my head
It's out of my mind

I'm upside down
It's inside out
You're underneath
Stay close to me

Help me breathe
I'm singing lah-dah, lah-dah, lah-dah
377 · Aug 2018
Dear friends,
Gabriel Bonney Aug 2018
Dear friends,
Am I myself today?
I must know,
Because some days I can feel I am,

But others

I feel like

I'm  sl ow ly

s  l  i  p  p  i  n  g

a     w     a     y
377 · Oct 2018
Gabriel Bonney Oct 2018
Hand me a paddle,
because you're not in this boat alone.
Your sea was once beautiful and blue,
but now rages where darkness has grown.
May I recall to you the rainbow,
that will show above these waters of emotion.
God's promise of our salvation,
and that He will not let you drown in this ocean.
366 · Sep 2018
Pen & Page
Gabriel Bonney Sep 2018
She told me goodnight, and I wished her sweet dreams
But I'm not going to sleep for some time
I will stay up with the addict I locked in a cage
And as I do, I promise you I'll keep safe as his words unwind
To benefit the world in some way, through pen and page
I was texting a friend of mine, and we told each other goodnight. ...But it's another one of those times where I'm drinking coffee at 11 pm right now, so I'm probably going to stay up all night. It's really fun, drinking coffee at night and writing or painting or drawing or even just jamming out to music! Anyways, just thought this would be a neat, silly poem you may enjoy ;)
350 · Oct 2018
wonder (pt. 3)
Gabriel Bonney Oct 2018
I wonder if it's still you,
because you're the one I still dream about.
349 · Oct 2018
Gabriel Bonney Oct 2018
Why I cannot tell you,
I do not know.
Why I can't bear to speak,
I'm not sure.
Why I can only communicate my soul this way,
I don't understand.
Why this is the only language I'm fluent in,
I have no clue why.
This is why I seek out people who speak like me,
born with a stranger's tongue,
a dialect not many can comprehend.
This is why I can only talk to them,
sending riddles and broken words
even they may not understand.
It's why I don't perceive the language of this world,
but only the coded words found deep in art.
343 · Sep 2018
My Muse
Gabriel Bonney Sep 2018
My counterpart,
My blood,
My muse,
I was born with you,
And I will fight by your side.
I will go with you,
And I will die for you.
You are the reason my heart burns,
You are the reason my stomach churns.
For what the world does to you.
You beautiful ocean,
And you don't even realize
The world dumps garbage
Into your great sea.
You are loved.
By me, and more importantly,
You are loved by God.
He wants a relationship with you.
Don't think so?
He made you,
And Christ died
So you could belong to Him.
And I hope to be His vessel,
Here to tell you just how much you are loved.
And you are my muse,
Here for a reason you do not yet know.
333 · Oct 2018
Gabriel Bonney Oct 2018
I think it would be neat to be like Banksy
To leave my mark on the world, still unknown
You won't know when I come or when I've gone
And no, don't ask me to write for your honor
You can't erase truth so don't prove me wrong
It's not prossible to bend reality and twist meaning
Just listen to my voice in what you're reading
My message known, but I don't want the glory
I'd give my real name, because I don't want a mask
But I don't want to hear any of the praise
God gave me gifts, so if anything, glorify Him
And I don't care for any of the ridicule
I'll tell you right now, my words won't be lenient
I don't want my name to be heard
I want my voice to be listened to
I've heard about him before, but in art class today we were talking about him and so i did some research later and his work really fascinates me. But i hate how people are selling his work and changing things around to give it a different meaning, kinda made me mad
330 · Oct 2018
Gabriel Bonney Oct 2018
I've never been one for conflict;
I'd even say I'm a chill dude.
But when I feel like someone's
blowing smoke between you
and me, I get a feeling I can't
describe, but all I know is if
they try something, I'll call in
the rest of our cavalry.
for my Kind and my Blood
317 · Sep 2018
down in the dumps
Gabriel Bonney Sep 2018
I'm down in the dumps
In this trench I have made for myself
What is this thing?--this ambiguity?
Why is it here? Where'd it come from?
Why am I in it?
Is this real, or am I making it up?
What are these thoughts? Depression?
Is it coming back?
I don't know.
But the world doesn't care--
It still throws garbage onto me
I feel it pile up
And I can only ask,
Why am I not fighting it?
I suppose this is what I really should be asking

315 · Jan 2019
What’s scary
Gabriel Bonney Jan 2019
Suicide no longer scared us
I’m afraid it’s not really awareness
Now it’s just coated with fairness
I blame it on the culture
We are the poachers
Swarming it like vultures
I’ve realized that suicide no longer scares us, in a way. To my friends, it’s normal; it’s just a part of culture. It’s all around us—we’re surrounded by it, and the thought hounds us. And when we only raise prevention when someone famous kills themselves, it’s just glorifying death. My friends, they’re not scaref of death. Our society today feeds off of the bad things. Even when we **** ourselves.
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