Dear friend you had never seen me nor known me before we met because destiny intended
So my friend you had never seen me evolving or crumbling at moments which reshaped fate
And also friend you will not be able to gauge about my errors and fears
until you had been the witness of my life which nearly shattered because of ill judgements
For you I appear to be a simple naïve person which I am not as I hide up my complexity under my mind
Beneath my skin lies a dark noir which is darker than the grey shades of despair and regret
Under my heart lies deep pain of intended suffering and accidental pauses between pain.
When you err and you know it and when it had become your habit you no longer have a past
The only thing that you can have is the wait , for a moment of repentance .
When your past haunts you and exploits you every moment becomes a testing time.

I am active yes I am ,indeed active
Unlike the twisted picture you paint
I do say it on your face that I hate it
When I hate it, and I don't love it just because you love it.
But you urge me to love it,still I say no.
I say a no to every no of mine
A big yes to every yes of mine
I am active ,indeed active
unlike the twisted story you tell.
I don't cry because you hit me hard
Because you deserve not my tears
But my indifference and neglect
I am active because I am passive towards you,regard you and about you.
With you or without you I am still active
And of course am still the rider in this race.
May be my FB account does not green it
Sometimes whatsapp pic forget to celebrate it
Often the actions miss to notify it
Rarely silence doesn't loudly appreciate it
Still I am active.

I need my body to be free
I don't mean it to die
I need my hands to be free
I don't mean you to tie
I need my legs to be free
I don't mean to lay wide
I need my head to be free
I don't mean it to lie
I need my mind to be free
I don't mean it to bid bye
What I need is what I mean
So please do mean it
if you need it

Can you see the girl in me whom you loved
Can you hear the child in me whom you cared
Can you feel the mother in me whom you relied
Can you see the bombshell in me whom you needed
Can you see the old lady in me whom you comforted
Can you see the advisary in me whom you believed
Can you see the wife in me whom you trusted
Can you see the friend in me whom you liked
Can you see the fading me in me whom you hated
Can you see the failing soul in me whom you tortured
Can you see the falling angel in me whom you defeated
Can you just see the me in me ?
Can you ?

Called him to come back to my world
He refused saying that it is not his world
Children thought that we are their world
The dear and near formed groups
Engaging in splitting our world
Love stood there losing it's world

Love happens you find the you in you
Not when they find them in you
Absolutely not when you find you in them
Love evolves when you need you in you
Not when they need them in you
Not when you need them in you
Love hails when you hail you
Neither when they hail you
Not when you hail them
Love fails when you fail you
Never when they fail you
Never ever when you fail them
Love stops when you stop yourself
When they stop themselves
And both of you stop each other
From being what the self needs
From doing what the will does
From living the love the way life does.

The divorce is yet to happen
But are we still the same?
The negotiation is yet to start
But are we holding a hope?
The alimony is yet to be decided
But are we just to be at peace?
The legal format is going to begin
But are not we strangers now?

The desert is getting hotter
And the time is yet to come
To bid me bye, forever.
The heat is burning and thoughts are scorching
But why would I be lost in this war
As I was alone in this world.
Why would the heat matters
As I am alone
Why would the thoughts matter
as I am alone
Why would the time matter
as I am alone
Why would the desert matter
As I am alone

Alone is what I am
As I am alone.