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 Jun 2018 Jesse stillwater
BMG
I failed today
Like the waves
trying to wash the dirt away.
I decided not to think of you
I almost made it
But you were stronger
I failed today
The undertow took over
Pulled me back into your memory
You seeped into my skin
Drowning in who we use to be
I failed today
I will try again
Try to stay a float
Tomorrow.
 Jun 2018 Jesse stillwater
BMG
Earth
The wolf
Hidden in the dark forrest
Gracefully walked up to me
“I can smell your hands bleeding.”
I told him regardless of the pain, I had to hold on.
He said no, you need to let go.

Water
The stingray
At the deepest point of the ocean
Swam right up to me
“I can feel how tense you are.”
I told her change is too hard
She said I should accept it, move through it.

Fire
The Elephant
Standing strong in the worst of storms
Shaking the ground as he came near
“I can see the fear in your eyes.”
I told him it’s not easy being jaded
He said I needed to open my heart, trust again.

Air
The Nightingale
Singing loudly in the blackest of night
He flew straight towards me
“Why can’t I hear your heart through your words.”
I told her the heart is naive
She said better the heart than the mind, let me hear your soul.  

Spirit
The Sea Serpent
In stories, tails from long ago
Slithered up to my feet from the blue water
“I can taste your pain on my tongue.”
I told him about my past
He said emotional wounds can heal, you just have to believe there is more out there.
I recently did a tarot reading for each element- this is what I learned.
 Jun 2018 Jesse stillwater
Sky
Every night,
the words sit on my tongue.
Every night,
your kiss seals my lips.
Every night,
I keep my heart silent again.
 Jun 2018 Jesse stillwater
Sky
I'm sorry, mother,
I'm sorry that you're afraid
Of losing me to darker things
Of seeing your greatest dismay

I'm sorry, father,
I'm sorry that I drag you down
That I can't pull myself together
That I always seem to drown

I'm sorry, grandmother,
I'm sorry that I fail you
That I am not the golden child
That I am broken through and through

I'm sorry to all I know,
I'm sorry that I cannot fly
I'm sorry that I cannot win
That I cannot touch the sky.
 Jun 2018 Jesse stillwater
Sky
I am the sun,
and you are the shadow.
You could eclipse me,
but I am not afraid.
 Jun 2018 Jesse stillwater
Carina
Lying embedded in velvet gloom and night,
You and I are gazing up the northern hemisphere.
Within the sea of darkness is the stars' stained light.

Hidden inside the fabric of interstellar space,
Might be a kind of universal truth
That answers all the questions of human race.

Sensing the pull of the universe
I feel like we're lost between the infinite vastness
That none of us could ever dream to traverse.

Suddenly you get up on your knees -
Head in the sky and feet on the ground.
“Perhaps the stars only made us feel lost,
because we both wanted to be found.”
Maybe we all are just waiting to be found:)
He works like a slave, six days a week,
To keep the  wolf at bay.
Austerity has hit him hard, his penance  every day.

The "Establishment" says it has no choice,
Tough measures must ensue.
He's considering the food bank for his child is thin and blue.

His dignity is all but lost, like feathers in the wind.
His hope Is torn to ragged shreds,
His eyes are hollowed, tinged with red.

He sheds a tear for all the dreams now shattered shards like glass.
His path a rocky desolate grind,
Secure as smoke rings in his mind.

He knows what dark hell lies ahead, the torture that awaits,
His fragile human life seems cheap,
Once used,  discarded on the heap.
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