today its self-hatred
tomorrow its love
maybe I feel overweight
or fall back into old habits of
destruction.
sad nights where I lie and wait for something other than numb,
good nights where I lay with friends laughing over something dumb
Even though the happy emotions come they do not keep the darkness from creeping up behind me and whispering in my ear the old morbid thoughts I always used to hear. then the dark clouds fade away into the brightest day where nothing could ever go wrong until instantly and randomly my moods change. I'm sick of laughing till I cry and crying till I laugh. this illness thinks my life is a game but there's nothing I can do to fight back.

Take another sip
see what happens
to your family, your friends
Because while you drown in *****,
they are drowning in sorrow
and when you remove your lips from that bottle
you do not find
peace, tranquility, happiness
instead you find
regret, anger, and sadness
So tell me why
Why are we addicted to the things that will **** us and pain the outside world

I made a sharp blade dull for him
I tried to continue doing what I was told for him
Until the sharp blade turned dull
And then that sharp blade turned red
he stopped playing video games and turned his head
his next request write words on my leg
then the sharp blade turned dull and he left
he wasn't there to clean up the blood
he wasn't there to bandage the wound
he wasn't there to pick me up off the cold ground
he wasn't there when I did it again.