Deep in,
Inside you.
I only want to hurt you,
Don't let me in.
I know I'll hurt myself by making you feel pain.
I know this is the rain,
That I have to let fall on me.
Like little pieces of glass that you can't see,
Until they hurt a nerve and you start bleeding.
Blood from your veins like a river for a end seeking,
It won't stop.
I won't stop.
Let me hurt you,
But don't let me damage you.
You don't deserve this pain,
This rain.
But I do,
That's why I'm doing this not for me but for you.
I need to lose you,
So I can cry honestly trough.

Am I Fine.
Will I not rack a line.
Never touch a Rock in my life.

Am I Good.
Will I not Use again .
Will temptations not be seen as threats ?
Can I handle.
My urges to not Tweak again.
Will my triggers Be nothing to worry about?

Will I never feel tempted.
Have I finally over come every Obstacle of addiction?

I’m sorry.
I’ve worsen , I’m stuck once again.
This time it will be harder .
I’m a recovering addict
Stuck in a constant relapse Cycle.
What must I do
Should I sit & wait
On my next down fall ..

all this coffee does
is enhance the pins in my brain
but at least i won't think