Oh,
I wish I had been there.
I want the time back,
back to me.
The man I loved,
lost to the clock.

I wish I was there
when you fell in love for the second time.
He had my eyes
and looked at you
like you didn't even exist;
some Diamond Platinum alchemic soul.
He was not perfect,
a little torn, yes
and his edges all frayed from tragedy
but he was yours.
The first beautiful thing that was.

I wish I was there,
when your father died.
When the world fell from beneath your feet.
I was galaxies away,
and everything became but shapes,
shadows,
on a metaphorical cave wall.
I become less the man you loved every day.
No superior,
your love without creates.

There will be a son someday,
and he will look like you,
and you will love him so much you will wonder if it will **** you.
My greatest love,
the wonderful father.

My Ivy,
all the growing up we did together,
and now I free thee.
My happy love,
happier without me.

The first time,
I saw you on a train.
I went home,
did not proceed to work,
did not live that September afternoon.
Bathed in bleach instead.

I saw you in my shower
and imagined
a funeral in blue.
I would have died in that waterfall,
all for the tender touch of your fingertips.
My mother,
cries over my corpse not knowing it was loved.

I saw you in space yesterday, love
Lover to the stars,
mistress of the moon,
I am coming to the conclusion I cannot live without you.