i am crying again,
because of him,
because he looks so
perfect in every picture he
takes and in every sunlight
that shines over him.
i am crying again,
because i know he will
never be mine,
and i want him so badly.
i am crying again,
because i promised myself
that i will not fall for him
again. i guess,
i broke my promise.
i am crying again,
because it takes every cell
and fiber in my body,
not to go to the ***** bathroom,
cry it all out and make new scars,
because i am going to the doctor's
in the morning,
and i cannot afford my mom‘s
stupid lectures.
i am crying again,
because i love him too much,
and because i know he will
find the perfect girl someday,
but she won't ever love him
the way that i do.
i am crying again,
because i will never be
yours, g.
and i want to,
so much.
i am crying again,
laying in bed,
looking at your pictures
in my phone,
and i am crying again,
because i will never
feel your lips on mine,
ever.

Your words... they affect my feelings toward you...
Toward others...
They make me want to hide inside of myself...
Force me to know that whenever you speak to me...
It’s in anger or regret or maybe even compassion.
The words that you’ve spoken to me...They have hurt more than you think is capable.
Every time that you speak...It breaks me just a little more.
I never know what to say around you....in fear that.. you might get mad at the tiniest words that I may speak.
Your lies...
They’ve filled my head for years...
My whole life almost...
They occupy my thoughts...my mind... and most of all...my existence
The lies...the ones that you’ve taught me to believe in,
Sometimes just make me want to... scream ....at you...for making me believe them.
I should have known better than to...what was the word you’ve used?
Take you for your word.
You’ve always told me to do that.
I was once your....little girl you used to call me.
I was Daddy’s...Little Angel.
Your little Lee Lee.
My entire life...You haven’t been there for me.
You say that you are, but in truth....you never were.
When I was little you used to be...my hero.
Now, you’re rarely here...for the moments that matter in my life.
You haven’t been in a long time.
You may be here... physically, but... are you here...emotionally?
It seems that every time that you see me... you have to be... drunk or maybe high...
Just to get through my visit.
I thought that you were the one person... who was supposed to always be there for me!
I’m supposed to be able to look up to you.
To be able to just come to you just to cry over some stupid break up.
I’m not be the person that you think I am.
In reality, I’m a completely different person.
One that’s not afraid of anything.
One that’s not afraid to...stand up for myself ... to tell people how I want my life to be.
But now I’m taking a stand against your words and your lies.
I’m fighting for what I want and what I believe in.
You can stand on the side lines, if you like.
But never again will you stand in my way.