We have a treat for you all!
It's Captain Obvious and The No-duhs
With their newest hit single, "A picture of a picture"
How existential are they?!

They use a clavichord, a harpsichord
A mellotron along with an autoharp
And of course a theramin to express this song to the universe

I will say no more
Here they are, Captain Obvious and The No-duhs

"Hey, are you free today?"
"Hey are we still on for tonight?"
"Do you live in eternal
Or temporal time?"
"Lets look back on our
illegible live's highlights"

"I got a paper cut from a bookmark"
"But I haven't got a *******'s clue"
"If I should round to nearest tenth"
"Or pop all of the animals made from balloons"

"Now, I'm looking at a picture of a picture"
"And I'm truly the worst for wear "
"You missed the cut off date"
"You're camera shy so there"

"Hey, you wanna chill today?"
"Hey what you wanna do tonight?"
"Want to watch the changing of the tides?"
"Or take in a movie then go and grab a bite?"

"I disregard the label makers"
"And mark all the typos"
"Shorten all the long winded speeches"
"And smelt all the silver idols"

"Now, I'm looking at a picture of a picture"
"And I'm truly the worst for wear "
"You missed the cut off date"
"You're camera shy so there"

"Knit me a sweater of vanity and greed"
"Sew me a lust and sloth tapestry"
"Croshay me a hat of envy and wrath"
"Macramé me a bracelet of gluttony"

"Now, I'm looking at a picture of a picture"
"And I'm truly the worst for wear "
"You missed the cut off date"
"You're camera shy so there"

       -Tommy Johnson

Fish heads for dessert
Confetti-saltwater taffy for lunch
Canned laughter for snack
And peptide bonds for a well balanced breakfast
"But whats for dinner?" says The Windbag
"But whats for dinner?!" screeches The Mimick
Hmm, well we have a choice between the sociocultural criteria and a toxic relationship
"Can't we have popsicles with answer-less riddles on the sticks?" asked the Windbag
"Can't we have popsicles with answer-less riddles on the sticks?!" copied The Mimick
"Leeme alone!" cried the Windbag
"Leeme alone!!" yelled The Mimick
In the end the decided to eat the pockmarks of bird feeding cohorts
They picked their teeth with proven points
Then watched The Windbag play the glockenspiel
Followed by The Mimick on the xylophone
As I put the leftover scraps in Tupperware, making sure to burp it before I put it away
       -Tommy Johnson

Helen of Troy is singing into a pantyhose pop filter
With her stereo-tone voice
She has a death wish
Chipped nails
Spellbinding rasp
And a ****** lisp
She takes her daily dose of Vitamin D and Composition B
She sings about what she sees
Severed heads chanting "freedom"
The industrial illusion
Dog eared and frayed pages of misspelled words
Cancer emitting devices causing problems for the ones on hold to be put on a sucker's list who can never seem to get a word in edgewise
But when you ask her what's wrong she just says "I don't wanna talk about it"
She goes on to collect bottle caps and pop tabs to bring to the fun fair
I hope to hell she isn't another spark set to ignite but just fizzles out

       -Tommy Johnson

Let's stay in today
With movies
And blankets
And us, there's nothing we need to say

Laying in my arms
I'll never let you go
There is no one else
I would want to hold

Let's stay in today
Let's kiss until
Junes turns into May

Laying in your arms
I already know
That you are mine
And I'm yours
That I'm sure of

Let the house burn down
We will sleep safe and sound
I want to expire together
And be with you forever

Let the flames eat us alive
I'll die with your hand in mine
I want to expire together
And be with you forever

Lets stay in today
And do anything
And everything
We can think of

Laying in my bed
A dream came to my head
But you took the words out of my mouth
And you said it instead

Let the house burn down
We will sleep safe and sound
I want to expire together
And be with you forever

Let the flames eat us alive
I'll die with your hand in mine
I want to expire together
And be with you forever

Mine is a love that will never fade

If tomorrow never comes
It wouldn't make a difference
I know
It wouldn't make a difference at all

Must break these restraints
This isn't fair
Abandoned
Betrayed

Mine
The Sandman has given me a bed to make and sleep in
Why oh why? Release me
Unleash me
Unhand me
Remand me
Yahweh
Win some
Lose some
Great rich misfortune
Decayed withered family tree
Shambled moral poverty

Great
Hemlock
Archaic Apothecary
Toxic apple
Petrushka, Punch and Judy
Enunciate
Look at the pale reflection

**** my parturition
**** my ruination
Father, tomorrow may never come
Move forward from this lie
I must be on my way
I feel it weighing down on me
Shot nerves
It's here, times up

Get on with it, it doesn't make a difference
If it all ends today
I'm sorry
I wasted what you've given me
For a moment of weakness

You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time
I deserve this, not your compassion
Look deep in my eyes
There is no way out of this
Illusion of existence

You gotta be kidding me Ms. Ogyny
That's why you hate yourself?
Because your have ******* and a ******?
You find it the most unforgivable sin
To be plagued by estrogen

Tell me Ms. Anthropic since we're on the topic
Why do you despise human kind?
What about them troubles your mind?
You think they're disgusting and not to be trusted
Someone or something made you this way, it must of

Life, life oh deadly life
It plays by the rules of day and night
I just wanna feel alive
And know, just know I'm doing right

But right alongside that feeling
There are times when I wanna die
I wanna be under the ground and sleep forever
There are time when I feel like that'd be better

So Ms. Ogyny I guess I see
Why you hate yourself because I hate me
I hate myself more than anyone else
I'm just a notch on Ms. Fortune's belt
Or maybe I'm just the welt

So Ms. Anthropic, I guess I'll drop it
Because I get where you're coming from
People are cruel, ill-mannered and inexplicably dumb
And from this cold hard fact I've become numb
I cannot wait for Kingdom Come

And I Mr. Fyde, wish I would die
Because now I realize how much I hate my life
I suffer from incredible self-dislike
The pain is obvious from the outside
And I say my goodbyes as I commit suicide

Greetings from your Christmas cards
Your perfect lawn and two car garage
Aren't you all such a perfect family?
Thinking no one can see underneath

Father would you like to tell
Us all about the girl you sometimes see
Your juvenile adultery

Go look back the photo albums  
You will see happy time smiles
Of people trying to keep it together
But falling apart all the while

Now am I right or am I right?
So am I right or am I right?
About the daughter who sleeps around
And the one tracked minded boys she goes down on

Go to the house
Don't call it home, with a camera
And take snap shots of behind the scenes
And see sadden home that cannot get sadder

Lets go to the beach on a sunny day
And unwind for a bit
Forget your ***** up son
And all the drugs he's done

Lets go to the park for some fresh air
And relax for a second
Let go of the hate you have for your wife
And her matriarchal grip she has on your life

Lets go for a drive take the top down
And enjoy the moment
Continue to deny and repress
Your parent's deaths and your lack of success

Just drink your whiskey and muddle through
Pray to your God, if he's even listening to you
Broken and divided
They're a happy family

Just pour out a few more "I love you's"
And regret ever saying "I do"
Broken and divided
They're a happy family

Blood is thicker than water but you're thirsty
Blood is thicker than water but you're thirsty
Blood is thicker than water but you're thirsty
Blood is thicker than water but you're thirsty